Rebel Angel: A Sainted Sinners Novel

by Vivian Wood

  “Vesper…” he whispered, glancing at her. “Don’t let go, okay?”

  She looked up at him, her eyes wide and bright with worry. She nodded, and his heart lurched again.

  Squeezing her hand, Kirael took a deep breath, then plunged forward through the threshold.

  20

  Vesper

  The space Vesper stepped into was… shocking.

  The ground under her feet was still dark stone. All around her, the sky was blank and white, unnatural as could be. She stood on a small clearing of sorts; a hundred yards away, the ground rose to form a thin, high stone arch.

  A bridge, if you were the bravest person in the world. Up and up and up it went, Vesper’s eyes widening as she took it in. The arch thinned even more at the top, until it was mere inches wide.

  Below it, more endless white mist.

  “Are we safe?” Vesper asked, glancing behind her.

  “They’re not coming after us,” Kirael said, his voice flat. “No one comes in here willingly. So… safe from Jeremet, perhaps.”

  “Where are we?”

  “The first level Lucifer ever created. Fear.”

  “Fear?” she asked, incredulous. “That’s what you called it? I’m not even afraid of heights.”

  “This is only the first small piece of the whole level. A test, you could call it.” Kirael gave her a long look. “This is going to become very unpleasant.”

  “Don’t you know all the tricks? Can’t you get us out a side door or something?” she asked, frowning.

  “This isn’t an amusement park ride, Vesper. This is Hell. There’s no escaping.” He closed his eyes for a moment, then sighed. “Whatever happens, you must act decisively. The level is supposed to frighten newcomers, who don’t have bodies. Normally, they just learn that their concept of corporality and end the level by accepting that they no longer have a physical form, and that they cannot overcome their fears.”

  “But we both have… a physical form…” Vesper said, confused.

  “Yes. It’s going to be more difficult for us. We’ll have to overcome our fear in each scenario, I should think.”

  Vesper glanced at him. “Seriously?”

  “This isn’t the time for sarcasm, Vesper. Just… don’t let your fear rule you. Nothing you see will be real. Since it’s not real, you can call up objects to help you, within reason.”

  “Like… think it, and I’ll have it?”

  “Something like that. Just be careful. The object here isn’t to repress your fear… seeming unafraid will just make things worse. This level is very… intuitive.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll be with you. Let’s get moving.”

  Kirael walked up the stone arch, crossing the narrowest section in a few big steps. He turned to look back at her, raising a brow.

  “Why can’t we just fly over it?” she asked.

  “The challenges grow greater as we progress. If we progress too quickly or easily, mainly through the physical challenges, the later ones will be… very difficult. It’s better to go through these than end up with five or six psychological challenges. Believe me.”

  “Okay. You can do this,” she told herself.

  She followed Kirael’s steps, though the path was so steep in some places that she had to lean in and balance with her hands. She tried her best not to look down, but when the stone path dropped away under her feet and grew narrower than her foot, her heart started to thrum.

  The world beneath her was just so empty…

  She wobbled, feeling the stone shift under her feet.

  “Vesper, focus,” Kirael said.

  She took a deep breath, feeling for all the world like a tightrope walker, and pushed herself across the thinnest part. Kirael stood at the other end, holding out his hand. She took a couple of big steps, just as she’d seen him do, and then she was across.

  When her fingers touched his, her relief was immense… and very brief.

  Suddenly the down slope of the stone arch shifted, leaving Kirael and Vesper each standing on a tiny stepping stone, a sea of steaming red lava all around them. Another small platform stood a few hundred feet away, beckoning.

  “Shit,” she muttered. “You weren’t kidding.”

  “Come on, we have to keep moving,” Kirael said.

  “No problem,” Vesper said, spotting a free stone and hopping to it, then another. “I was a master of this game as a kid.”

  “Game?” Kirael asked, following her from stone to stone.

  “Yeah. The floor is lava,” she said. Heat rose from the lava, sweltering and steaming, and Vesper started to sweat a little.

  “I will never fully understand humans,” Kirael sighed.

  “Almost… there…” she said, taking the last three hops in quick succession. “Done!”

  “Mmmhm,” Kirael said, landing next to her. “Ah, I think the next one is for me.”

  Vesper turned around to see… herself. A perfect copy of herself, standing at the top of a very high cliff. Behind her stood an unbelievably handsome blond man, a little smile playing over his lips.

  The man held a dagger, pointed straight at the nape of fake Vesper’s neck as she inched toward the cliff’s edge, tears running down her face.

  “No, please…” fake Vesper mumbled. She turned to look at Vesper and Kirael, pleading. “Won’t you save me?”

  “Don’t,” Kirael said, holding out an arm to stop her. “This isn’t for your benefit.”

  “What, this is your fear?” Vesper asked, taken aback.

  Kirael shot her a look, then nodded. “Yes.”

  “So… how do you defeat it?” she asked.

  “Just do it, Lucifer!” he shouted. “Put me out of my misery!”

  Vesper made a strangled sound, crossing her arms. Kirael arched a brow at her, and she glanced away.

  A high scream rent the air as Lucifer shoved fake Vesper off the ledge. Kirael flinched, then blew out a breath. Lucifer disappeared in a puff of smoke, and then the entire world went dark.

  Completely, utterly, shockingly dark. Vesper’s heart starting thumping again, and she could feel herself blush.

  This challenge was for her. Even though she was a grown woman, Vesper was still a teeny bit afraid of the dark. Okay, more than a little bit. It was silly, and she knew it was silly, but that didn’t make it less scary.

  “Kirael?” she called out, but the darkness seemed to suck her voice from the air.

  She shivered, feeling alone in a way she’d never felt before. Everything was still and silent, but that didn’t mean that something bad didn’t lurk just beyond where she stood.

  She thought about what he’d said about summoning objects. Holding out her hand, she imagined herself holding a tall white candle.

  Instantly she felt it, her fingers wrapped around a tall column candle. She focused on the point of light it gave off, swinging it toward where she thought Kirael might be standing. But the light was too dim.

  She turned in the opposite direction, then gasped. She’d seen something, a glint of metal. Holding out her candle with a shaking hand, she moved closer, closer…

  The light of her candle flickered, then flared high. Vesper gasped; in the low light, she’d caught the briefest glance at a huge monster, all sharp metal scales and darkly dripping teeth.

  She whirled, then screamed. Another monster, this one a big lump of pale flesh, a trail of slime oozing from each of its big red eyes.

  “Oh god, they’re all around me…” she whispered.

  She turned again, finding the Vampyre Jacinth standing there, a smudge of blood on his mouth.

  Panicking, Vesper stepped back. Instantly, she felt something brush against her jacket, something bump her ankle. The monsters were closing in, ready to attack, take her apart.

  She closed her eyes for a second, trying to think. Adrenaline washed through her, making it hard to do anything but run, as far as she could get…

  It isn’t real, she thought. None of this is
any more real now than it was when you were a kid. You can get rid of them all, if you want to…

  But how? How did you destroy all the monsters at once, lost and alone in complete darkness?

  She thought back to when she was a kid. She’d shared a room with her big sister. Bunk beds, in fact. Mercy was never out of reach

  Back then, Mercy had always chased the monsters away. Being a year older and therefore wayyyy more mature, Mercy’s solution was always simple: turn on the lights.

  Vesper could picture it now. Mercy crawling out of bed with an exasperated sigh, picking her way across the toy-strewn floor in the dark, flipping on the lights.

  “See, Ves? No more monsters. They’re allergic to the light,” Mercy always told her.

  And it worked, without fail. Vesper always slept deeply after that, knowing Mercy had chased the monsters away.

  Standing in the dark, Vesper looked down at her candle.

  What if… she thought, an idea coming to her. It was crazy, but…

  She crouched, feeling another soft brush against her thigh. Then she very, very carefully stuck the candle out, this way and that…

  It caught suddenly, the flame flaring bright. It was Jacinth, the flames bursting over his fancy suit, tearing up to engulf him in flame. He screamed, a high and piercing sound, then shattered, little pieces of flame flying out.

  Those pieces caught the monsters next to him, and the fire began to spread. Vesper stood, shielding her eyes, as a hundred different monsters shuffled and groaned, encircling her as they began to burn.

  They screamed, then shattered, one by one by one…

  Suddenly the whole world melted away, and Vesper stood on that simple rocky clearing once more, Kirael at her side.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, rubbing her arm. “You were quiet for a long time.”

  “Fine, I think…” Vesper said, shaking her head. “That was… intense.”

  “Mine too,” Kirael said with a wince. “I had two challenges. In the first, Metatron hunted me. I had to stand still and let him behead me. In the second… well, let’s just say Lucifer is crueler than you could possibly imagine.”

  “Wait, you had two challenges in the time it took me to have one?” she asked.

  Kirael shrugged. “Practice. This isn’t my first time in here, not even close.”

  “I guess that means I’m next…” she said, glancing around. “Oh…”

  To her right, a shadowy shape filtered down from the sky, slowly coming together to form a door.

  “I can see it,” Kirael said. “Which means I might be able to come with you, if you want…”

  Grabbing his hand, Vesper towed him to the door. “Let’s get this over with. I want to get out of here, bad.”

  “Okay,” Kirael said. “Go ahead.”

  Releasing his hand, she reached out and pushed the door open. It looked like wood, but the door felt cool and smooth under her fingers, like metal. The sensation of it made her think instantly of her least favorite place.

  “Shit, we’re in the hospital,” she said, stepping into a perfectly-replicated patient room.

  A frail body lay tucked in the bed. Half a dozen doctors stood on one side of the bed, half a dozen family members on the other.

  Unmistakably, Vesper recognized herself as the person closest to the bed. Oddly, she was wearing a skirt and a cardigan, the kind of outfit she’d preferred back in her librarian days. She was holding the patient’s hand, tears streaming down her face.

  She didn’t even have to glance down at the bed to know it was Mercy lying there, or to know that Mercy was dying.

  This was the moment she’d expected, the moment she’d dreaded, since the first night Mercy didn’t come home. Since the moment she realized what kind of terrible trouble Mercy was in, how dangerous the Kith world could be.

  Vesper’s heart pounded in her chest. She wanted to close her eyes, or turn around and go back. But when she turned, there was only Kirael, watching her with something like compassion on his face. The door was gone.

  There was no leaving now.

  “I don’t want you to see this,” she told Kirael, her voice wobbling.

  “It’s not real,” he said, stepping forward and putting an arm around her shoulders.

  “That’s the thing…” Vesper said. “It is real. It just hasn’t happened yet, you know?”

  “Vesper—” he started, but she cut him off.

  “No,” she said, shaking her head. “You don’t understand. Mercy has been like… a heartbeat away from this for years. Every single time I get a phone call that I don’t recognize, I think… this is it. It’s the morgue, calling me to come identify her body.”

  Vesper felt a tear slip down her cheek. She reached up and brushed it away; she hadn’t even realized she was crying until now.

  “I’m sorry,” Kirael said, pulling her close for a hug.

  Vesper closed her eyes and hugged him back, letting him comfort her for a full minute. It felt strange. On one hand, she didn’t want anyone to see this part of her life, to know how sad and distant her relationship with Mercy had become.

  On the other hand, Kirael wasn’t judging her. He wasn’t pitying her. He was just… being there. Vesper hadn’t ever had someone like that in her life, not since Mercy vanished into the sunset.

  It felt… incredible.

  She blew out a breath, then opened her eyes. Unless she wanted to stay here forever, she needed to face this head-on, confront and control her fear.

  “Okay,” she said. “I’m going to need a minute.”

  “I’ll be right here,” he said, and she knew his words were true.

  She gave him a soft smile, and he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. Her heart fluttered at the gentle, tender touch. Something stirred in her chest, a kind of knowing, but now wasn’t the time for it.

  She released Kirael and went to Mercy’s bedside. The people there, including her other self, stepped back and gave her space. She took Mercy’s hand, just as she’d seen herself do a few moments earlier.

  She looked down at her sister, her heart wrenching. Mercy was nothing but skin and bones, the circles under her eyes dark as bruises. Her dark hair was thin and tangled, her lips dry and cracked.

  The rise and fall of her slender body as she breathed was so slight, it brought a fresh batch of tears to Vesper’s eyes. There was a mask over her mouth, connected to a breathing tube, and several IVs in both of Mercy’s arms.

  “Ma’am?”

  Vesper looked up to find a young doctor standing across from her, handsome in his white coat and blue scrubs.

  “Yes?” she asked.

  “The machines are breathing for her, keeping your sister alive,” he said. “There is nothing more we can do. She’s not going to wake up.”

  “No!” Vesper said, clutching at Mercy’s hand.

  Suddenly Kirael was at her side. Not touching her, not speaking, just… there. She glanced at him, feeling her face burn.

  “I don’t want her to die,” she admitted to Kirael.

  “I know,” he said.

  “I just… I don’t know how to end this,” she said.

  “Say what you need to say to Mercy. Then… I think you have to let her go,” he said, looking pained.

  “Right. Right.” She took a breath, then looked down at Mercy again. “Mercy…”

  She stopped, took another big breath, released it. This was harder than she could’ve imagined.

  “Mercy, I’m so sorry,” she blurted out, wiping away tears. “I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I know we didn’t have a great life, growing up. I know you took a lot of the burden, protecting me, taking care of me. I just… I know you’re hurting. That’s why I…”

  She paused, took another breath.

  “That’s why I never tried that hard to stop you, when I first found out you were sneaking down to the Gray Market to score drugs. I just figured… you’d had it rough, maybe you deserved to let loose.”

&nbs
p; She let her head drop, sorrowful.

  “I am so, so sorry for that, Mercy. I wish I’d tried to stop you back then, before you got hooked. I wish I’d been able to keep you off the street. I wish I could have been strong enough to stop all of the bad things that happened to you. When we were kids, after you got in with the Vampyres… It’s killed me, watching this happen to you.”

  She carefully laid Mercy’s hand back on the bed, then reached out to brush back a lock of her sister’s hair.

  “I’ve been so angry with you,” Vesper admitted, her tears flowing freely. “I’ve hated you, as much as I love you. I feel so guilty all the time, and I can’t do anything about it.”

  She straightened, wiping her face with her sleeve, then sighed.

  “Maybe this is what you wanted, to be free of it all?” Vesper told Mercy. “I hope you are at peace, big sister. I love you, a lot. More than you knew, I think.”

  Silence lapsed. There were a million more things she wanted to say. Stories she wanted to recount, regrets she felt she should name.

  And yet, she didn’t say any of them. She just stood there, staring at Mercy for several minutes.

  Finally, she looked up at Kirael, then at the doctor.

  “I think…” she started, feeling that strange kind of empty she only ever felt after a lot of crying. “I think I’m ready.”

  The doctor nodded, turning and pressing several buttons, turning off some alarms as they started to blare. Everyone stood and watched as Mercy’s chest rose and fell, rose and fell…

  And didn’t rise again.

  Vesper heard a distressed sound coming from her own throat. She reached out for Kirael and he was there, taking her hand, grounding her.

  A monitor started beeping, showing that Mercy’s heart had stopped beating.

  “God damn it, Mercy,” Vesper whispered, shaking her head.

  Then, like a dream, the whole scene faded before her eyes. Vesper blinked, looking around. They were in the same small clearing, except now there was a glowing white portal beckoning to them.

  “Is that it?” she asked.

  “I think so,” Kirael said, nodding. “I suppose we made it through.”