Mirrored Hearts: Sealed by Fire (Encounters of the Heart Book 2)

by Ann Marie Bryan

  Darlene clasped her hands to her chest. “Yes. I’m grateful too that I didn’t die on the journey and that I lived to testify of God’s faithfulness. There are a lot of things that I know now that I didn’t know then. That’s why I share my story and minister to women. That’s why I set up over forty Victorious Women’s Shelter in so many states. I’m helping to empower women and at the same time give some of them a second chance at life.

  “I’m sorry, Mama.” A pensive expression shrouded Larry’s face. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

  “You’re fine, son.” His mother squeezed his hand. “Please let it go. It happened already, and no amount of sorry or words can fix it. I have to pay it forward. Don’t-don’t you …” She choked up. “Don’t you dare think, I don’t ask myself why I didn’t leave. I’m sorry, son.”

  Larry got down on his knees and hugged her. “Sorry, Mama.”

  “It’s okay, son,” she said, stroking his hair. “Every day, I walk in victory. Every moment God’s grace is with me. Every time I lay my head down and rise again, it’s a great accomplishment.” She kissed the top of his head, and then smiled. “We’re going to make it. We are trusting in Jesus, so we’re going to make it. One hundred percent guaranteed.”

  CHAPTER 9

  A crash of thunder reminded Rozene of the bleak night and provided the perfect ambiance for what she was experiencing - total defeat. Surrendering to her feeling, she threw herself atop the bedspread and curled up near the edge of the bed. The digital clock on the nightstand indicated 10:30 PM, yet sleep was nowhere in sight. She’d even tried writing again but nothing flowed from her usually sharp, creative mind. Not even after mentally gluing herself to the chair.

  Shifting her body, she pulled back the bedspread and then moved beneath it. She studied the ceiling considering the memories she and Larry had made in that very room … sharing their dreams, their joys, and their sorrows. Some days, they would talk until sunrise. She remembered how sometimes he would fall asleep during their conversation and she would listen to him breathe on the other line before attempting to wake him up.

  She wondered if she should call him to see how he was doing. At least, they were communicating, even if only in monosyllables. They were careful not to let Mason and Madison know that they were separated. At least, she’d pressured Larry into that agreement. She hadn’t decided how and when they would drop that bit of news on the children since their classes were still in session. It had to be soon though because summer was approaching.

  Mason and Madison had come home last Christmas, when all was seemingly well between her and Larry. When they did come home for a few days in the spring semester, Larry was traveling on work related activities. Thankfully, the children were accustomed to calling their cell phones so they had no inkling of their separation.

  Rozene picked up her cell phone, noting she had an unknown caller. She wondered if it was Chandler. She hadn’t heard from him since that mess of a call he made to her a few weeks ago.

  She dialed Larry’s number.

  “Yes.”

  Her heart welled up with sheer joy that he’d answered, but it didn’t translate in her response. “It’s me.” She wondered where that weak, needy voice came from.

  “I know. Is there something that you need?” he asked, pacing his tone.

  She could hear his emphasis on the word need. “I was just seeing how you’re doing.”

  “I’m good,” he responded coolly.

  She waited for him to ask her likewise. When he didn’t, she blurted out, “Larry, you could have asked how I am doing.”

  He gripped the phone. “You know I’m not a hypocrite.” I am not interested in another empty, eye-rolling conversation with you.

  “Okay,” she said, her frustration obvious, “have a good -”

  “Can’t sleep?”

  “Yes.”

  He couldn’t sleep either. They had been married for so long that neither of them knew how to sleep without the other. Even with months of separation, it had not gotten any easier. He’d taken to putting a king-size pillow in her spot and hugging it.

  “Have you tried praying?” Larry asked. “That usually works for me.”

  “Yes, I have.”

  “Well, maybe you need to call your special friend.”

  Rozene gasped as a sharp pain hit her heart and then intensified. “Wha-what? I told you I’m not seeing-”

  “That’s what you said, Rozene. Who knows?”

  “Larry, stop it. Why are you saying that? I love you … always have.”

  “You sure have a strange way of showing it.”

  She could hardly get the words out. “I do love … you. I -”

  “Only, you love yourself more,” he interjected.

  “Larry, please -”

  “Like I said, you have a strange way of showing it. I hope sleep comes soon. I have a project to work on early morning so I have to go.”

  “Bye,” she said quickly, hanging up.

  Tears slid down her face, and her sobs came out louder and faster. She flipped on her stomach and buried her head in her pillow, hoping her parents did not hear her.

  Fifteen minutes later, she curled up, still sobbing. Thinking about her future, she shuddered even more, the enormity of her past failure once again catching up with her.

  That evening in Chicago, after Chandler had left her room with the box of books, she’d taken a bath and crept into bed but sleep was nowhere in sight. When 9:00 PM came, she got dressed and decided to relax in the lounge at the hotel.

  It was a quiet evening and several guests were hanging out, but the area was not crowded when she ordered a glass of non-alcoholic wine. The lounge had comfortable couches and chairs but she selected a table in the corner where she could watch television while she sipped her wine.

  Almost an hour later, she caught herself yawning and covered her mouth. Time to hit the sack, she thought glancing around. Her eyes widened as they landed on Chandler, who was sitting on a bar stool. How did I miss him? Her body temperature rose with his gaze as his dreamy eyes traveled her body, and then locked on hers.

  Oh God! She could actually feel the blood rushing through her veins and her heart was thudding out of control.

  He flashed a hello-beautiful smile, moving in her direction.

  Watching his every step, she wished she was not so drawn to his fit anatomy. By the time he arrived before her, she was swooning like a teenage girl over the cutest boy in school.

  “I-I was just leaving,” she told him, gathering her purse.

  A stirring sensation stemmed from his eyes, and he flashed her a disarming smile, offering his arm. “Me too.”

  She was about to refuse but did not want to make a scene. She tucked her hand in his arm, murmuring, “You don’t have to.”

  “I want to,” he told her as they moved off.

  They walked out of the lounge, then across the foyer to the bank of elevators. She withdrew her hand as he pressed the up arrow.

  While they waited, she happened to glance at his hand and noticed he wasn’t wearing his wedding band. “What happened to your wedding band?”

  He appeared surprised at her question. “I didn’t know you were observing me so keenly, Mrs. Kanate.” He smiled at her. “I hope you like what you saw.”

  Her brows crashed together. “Why did you have to go there?” Don’t know why I even asked. It’s none of my business.

  The elevator came and he allowed her to step in before joining her. “I am not married,” he said, pressing the number to her floor on the side panel of the elevator. “I like to wear a wedding band to hopefully scare off the ladies.”

  She looked at him, trying to see if he was being pompous, but his expression was one of frustration. “Well, sorry on behalf of my specie.”

  He chuckled, displaying immaculate white teeth as the elevator came to a stop. “Don’t be.”

  His hand scorched the small of her back where it rested as they walked in silence t
o her room door. She swiped her key. “Thanks for the company,” she said, entering her room. “Have a good night.” She turned to close the door and bumped into him. “Ouch!” she gasped, gazing at his solid chest.

  He closed the door, and scooped her into his arms. “Did I hurt you?”

  Her stomach flipped. Warning bells turned to clanging cymbals as desire welled up in her belly. Her mind was yelling, “Nooooooo!” but her body was certain this was where it needed to be. She murmured something unintelligible, and his fingers tipped her chin and forced her gaze towards him.

  “Tell me you want me as much as I want you,” he said, running his hands down her back.

  All her thoughts ceased. All of them, as a surge of heat washed up her body. Her breath was exploding out of her lungs. She closed her eyes tight to avoid speaking, yet struggling with her primitive response to him.

  “Hmmm,” he purred, enjoying the deliciousness of the warmth emanating from their bodies. “Don’t be afraid, sweetheart.”

  His voice sent butterflies through her stomach, and when their eyes met, she sucked in her breath as she witnessed the flames of desire in his eyes, eyes that held one intention … consuming her.

  The phenomenon sent waves of desire to her core, and her body shuddered against his. “Chandler, I-I-”

  “You won’t regret it,” he told her softly, his hands tightened against the soft skin at her waist.

  Unexpectedly, he gently swayed her in a slow intimate dance that wreaked havoc on her sensibilities. He brushed his lips along the curve of her jaw, slowly making his way to her lips.

  Oh God! She was terrified he would find her lips, and then would be horribly disappointed if he didn’t. She would definitely question her sanity later.

  A satisfied “yes” issued from the back of her throat when his lips finally found hers. He parted her lips and began delivering slow, long kisses designed to drug her. It was as if he was sampling his favorite meal, and couldn’t get enough. Her moans of delight only served to fuel his hunger. He lifted his lips from hers, feeling elated. No … more like ecstatic. Had he died and gone to heaven? Maybe he had, her languid expression indicated pure bliss.

  But in a matter of seconds, her expression changed … to one of wide-eyed astonishment.

  Stop it! Stop it! Echoed so loudly in Rozene’s ears that she thought someone was yelling at her.

  Chandler dotted her lips with butterfly kisses, but noticed her lips were tense against his. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said softly between kisses, “it’s okay.”

  But, Rozene couldn’t relax. All she kept doing was shutting down warning messages that were springing up behind each other in her brain. Images of Larry, her children, her ministry, and her relationship with God.

  “N-nooo.” She tore her lips away from his and dropped her forehead on his chest. “I can’t.”

  He slipped a hand up the small of her back while the other hugged her waist. “Hey. Hey. It’s going to be all right,” he said, kissing the top of her head.

  He lifted her chin with his hand and she looked at him. In that instant, in the dim light, her heart leaped at the sweetness of the desire in his eyes. She watched his eyes dilate as he dipped his head towards her lips again. “Let’s have a little fun,” he begged softly. “You can tell me when to stop.”

  The vibrations in his husky voice stirred her senses. And against everything she knew to be prudent, she nodded.

  He wasted no time. His mouth found hers again, teasing her with desire.

  She moaned softly clenching his shirt and pressing her body against his as he cupped the back of her head and kissed her deeply, thirstily. When he scooped her up in his arms, she curled up against him like her life depended on him.

  His eyes lit up and a slow smile spread across his face as he headed for her bedroom.

  ******

  Early the next morning, Chandler smiled lovingly at her as he got dressed. “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

  She returned his smile, tying the belt on her robe around her waist. “But you don’t know me, Chandler.”

  “Oh, yes, I do. You bet I do.” His knowing smile put his teeth on display.

  “Behave. I’m not talking about that … way.”

  He chuckled and then stopped abruptly as if he wanted to say something but changed his mind.

  She couldn’t read his thoughts. “You okay?”

  “Nothing will wipe this smile from my face,” he told her softly. “Absolutely nothing!”

  She gave him a brilliant smile of her own. “Glad I can make you smile.”

  In silence, they walked towards the door with his hand draped around her shoulder.

  He turned her to face him as they arrived at the door. “I’m in love with you,” he told her quietly, running his fingers through her rumpled, curly hair then smoothing it down. Satisfied with his handiwork, he placed his back against the door.

  She could feel the passion he had for her. Frankly, it kindled her desire for him. But love? That was not what this was. She was a mental mess but she had all intentions of keeping the vows she’d made to Larry Randolph Kanate. “Chandler, I-I can’t-”

  “Come away with me,” he said.

  As he awaited her reply, his eyes lowered to her mouth and he ran his fingertips lightly over her full lips. She closed her eyes, unable to bear the shivers that were churning through her body. He kissed her deeply then released her, deciding he should leave before it was too late.

  “If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to call me.”

  Still gasping for breath, she nodded unable to speak.

  With that, he blew her a final kiss, opened the door and closed it behind him.

  The rolling of thunder forced Rozene out of her reverie. Tears spilled as dark thoughts gathered like a storm in the horizon. “Why, oh why, did I have to go there? Lord, help me,” she groaned in the pillow.

  “And, He will,” she thought she heard someone say.

  She became still, clutching the pillow and wondering if she was hearing things.

  “It’s not over, not yet. You’ll have to reach for what you want.”

  She took the pillow from her face and looked into her mother’s smiling face.

  All choked up, she couldn’t return her mother’s smile.

  “I was knocking,” her mother told her, perching on the side of the bed. “With all this thundering, I came to check on my baby.”

  Someone cares. Rozene’s eyes watered.

  “Now, don’t start that again.” Her mother touched her hand. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “I don’t know, Mom. Larry is not really speaking to me. The children will be home sooner rather than later. I’m the bad person in all of this. And for what?”

  “Do you love him? This Chandler.”

  “What? No, Mom! I -”

  “Think about it. Do you love him?”

  Rozene squeezed her fingers into the palms of her hands. “Mom, I have thought about it. I don’t love Chandler. What we did had nothing to do with love. I was attracted to him. Not just attracted, violently attracted to him, I will say that. But I don’t love him. I don’t care if I ever see him again. I love Larry. Always have and always will.”

  Elizabeth Bennady looked at her daughter whom she had been praying for daily. She hated to see her sitting around moping, every single chance she got, and literally wasting her life away when she was so gifted. Tonight, she intended to give her tough love. She could handle it. She was a Bennady woman, a woman with a great sense of self. It was time for Rozene to rise from the ashes she had created.

  “Rozie, you are not stupid. You teach women to honor their husbands. There is a reason why you committed adultery. You are the most rational woman I know. Does that mean every time you’re attracted to a man, you intend to sleep with him?”

  Rozene’s head jerked up as if her mother had struck her. “Mom, no!” She pulled herself up to lean against the headboard. It was painful to face the real
ity of the mess she’d created in her life. She looked at her hands as she spoke. “I was afraid of the change that was about to come my way with the children leaving home. It would be me and Larry at home and somehow, I just never felt I was going to be enough for him.”

  Her mother watched her. “I have known Larry since you’ve both been in high school and his only desire was to marry you. He was only seventeen when he told me and your father that. We begged him to wait until you finished your first degree. And he did. You’ve both done well for yourselves and with the kids gone, it would have been a great time to reconnect. At least, that’s what Larry told me and your father. He couldn’t wait to have you to himself again.”

  Rozene’s eyes widened. “Really. I didn’t get that feeling and it’s not because he didn’t tell me that he loved me.” A quiet sob escaped her. “Oh, God, please help me. I want my husband back.”

  Her mother eyed her. “I am suggesting that you pray and ask God to reveal to you, the real reason you brought that man into your marriage. Come now, give your mother a hug.”

  Rozene hugged her mother tightly, and her mother cradled her. “Rozie, it’s going to be all right. God is on the case. In this tough season, He’ll make everything smooth.”

  Rozene sighed contentedly. She trusted God even though He seemed to have disappeared in her storms. Certainly felt like it.

  “All you need to get through this season is in you.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” she murmured tearfully. “I’m so sorry for what I did. I am so-so ashamed. How will I explain to the children? They’re going to hate me.”

  “Shhh.” Her mother comforted her, stroking her hair. “It’s going to be all right. You’re just in between blessings.”