The answer came - Prayer.
She dropped to her knees at the bedside and prayed for God’s continued direction and guidance over her situation.
Shortly thereafter, Rozene strolled to the bathroom, and flipped on the light switch over the Jacuzzi that was nestled in the right top corner of the bathroom. The halo lighting over the Jacuzzi created a relaxing atmosphere that usually made her bath time ritual feel like an extra special treat.
She managed to pry her eyes away from the massive floor-length mirrors which covered most of the walls, and turned on the faucets to prepare for a long, luxurious bath. She picked up her favorite bath gel from the basket nearby, poured some in and then felt the water to make sure it would be lukewarm.
Slipping out of her clothes, she placed them in the laundry basket, and then set the CD player on the intercom to “How Great is Our God” by Chris Tomlin, before climbing into the Jacuzzi. Humming the song, she relaxed and soaked her body. Perfectly appointed for a time such as this. She drifted off into prayer as the words of the song permeated her heart.
CHAPTER 18
Larry entered their home with a bit of trepidation in his heart. All day, he’d been uneasy about Rozene moving back for the weekend. Yet ever so often, his body would buzz with a strange anticipation – which he chose to ignore. The last thing he wanted was to be in an awkward situation with her. How was it going to work with them under the same roof, again?
Deciding that he would change out of his work clothes before going in search of her, he headed up the stairs. A corner of his mouth tilted as he strode across the circular landing at the top of the stairs, he knew exactly where she was.
In spite of the four available guest rooms on the second floor, he had no doubt she would be lounging in Madison’s room, a few doors down from their master suite. Since Mason and Madison left for MIT, Rozene had been using Madison’s room as her private sanctuary. He knew it was because she missed Madison. The two had always been close.
He quietened his thoughts as he opened the door of his study adjacent to their bedroom. After turning on the light, he lifted the strap of his work bag over his head and dropped it on the huge mahogany desk. For a moment, he stared at the large envelope on his desk that was addressed to Rozene. He made a mental note to give it to her before she left on Monday. Taking his iPad from his work bag, he turned off the light, and headed for their bedroom.
After placing the iPad on the nightstand, he sat on the bed to remove his shoes, when something poked his rear. He reached for it and saw that it was Rozene’s cell phone. It was off. It was then he noticed her purse was on the daybed.
He knitted his brows thinking it was unnecessary for her to leave her belongings in their bedroom since the children were not yet home. A ragged sigh escaped him as he peeled off his shoes and marched into his closet with them. Dropping them in a box on the floor, he stripped off his socks and shirt, before moving towards the bathroom.
In the next minute, his clothes fell from his hands and he stood in the middle of the bathroom gaping. Nothing prepared him for the picture perfect setting he saw under the soft light over the Jacuzzi. Astounded, his body moved toward the Jacuzzi on its own accord.
Rozene was fast asleep.
The bubbles had fizzed away and he relished the beautiful sight of the only woman he’d known, well other than …
His body shifted as his mind shifted, studying every inch of her with renewed curiosity. Even in her relaxed state, she displayed grace and strength. He’d always loved that about her.
Loved?
Yes, loved.
Nevertheless, his body made sure to remind him that he missed her. He told himself to stop staring but was unable to obey his own command. Breathing deeply, he cautioned himself again, reaching deeper to grasp what was left of his self-control. Stepping slightly away from the Jacuzzi, he gently called out, “Roz.”
She stirred and smiled before meeting his gaze unflinchingly.
His heart flipped - twice.
Anticipation tightened his stomach, and he stilled his body that was on the verge of jumping in the Jacuzzi, clothes and all.
Rozene all but licked her lips as her eyes roamed him up and down - his toned, slightly bowed legs, his incredibly sculpted pectorals, his handsome face, and the natural glow of his sun-kissed complexion. Strength and power radiated from him, but it was his compelling aura that held her in place.
Her eyes widened when she saw him move towards her. Then, realization dawned. Not a dream. Not a dream! She gasped as a bolt of embarrassment slammed into her chest. In a heartbeat, she pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her hands around them. She closed her eyes then opened them widely as shivers attacked her body. Her teeth began chattering as the cool water lapped at her body. “To-to-towel,” she stammered.
Larry sprang into action, pulling a huge white towel from the rack nearby, and after helping her up, he wrapped it around her. She was shivering so badly that he lifted her in his arms. He grabbed another towel, before quickly making his way to the bedroom.
Rozene clenched her teeth to stop the involuntary shivering. She couldn't remember ever having been this cold. Her face flushed, she tried to hold still as Larry began drying her body on the bed, without saying a word. He finished the task and began massaging her feet with his hands.
“Sor-sorry,” she said, twitching now from the sweltering heat that was rising from her feet to the rest of her body.
“No problem,” Larry said, not looking at her. He was hanging on to the thin thread of self-control he had left. He wished his body would stop acting so desperate for hers. “Let me get your robe,” he told her, moving like he was walking on hot coal.
He’d moved away, way too quickly but it was necessary. He grabbed a hold of the clothes rack near the door in Rozene’s closet and instructed his body to yield to the commands of his mind.
After opening several drawers, he located her robes and pulled out a lime green one, then made his way back to her.
Rozene looked at him with apprehension as he was nearing the bed, not understanding why she felt the need to be modest now.
He held up the robe. “Let’s get you in this. Should keep you warm.”
She did not move but eyed him with a death grip on the towel.
His eyebrows furrowed. “I know you’re not trying to hide your body from me.”
“I-I …” She paused unsure of what she was attempting to say.
He placed the robe on the bed then stood looking down at her.
She shivered, blurting out, “Wha-what are you doing?” while eyeing him wildly.
Larry gently reached for her and eased her into a sitting position. Shivering and mental confusion. Mild hypothermia. More heat. He sat on the bed, pulled her into his arms and began rubbing her back.
Her heartbeat picking up speed, Rozene knew she couldn’t take anymore. “Robe. Robe please.
He eased her off his chest and tugged the towel from her hands, while trying not to get another glimpse of her body.
Right, just what I need, she lamented in her bare-as-you-dare moment. She hoped her breasts were not looking too perky. Goosebumps sprouted on her forearms and she hastily slipped one hand and then the next into the plush robe, grateful for its size. Her heart tripped when she got a close up of his ripped chest. She could only hope she had not made any sounds of appreciation. Instinctively, she leaned her head against his chest then threw her arms around his waist.
Mentally, Larry stiffened, but somehow his body, as usual, didn’t get the message. His heartbeat skittered as her hands caressed the muscles on his back before moving up his neck. Her gentle strokes at his neck were threatening to engulf him in an inferno, so he moved quickly.
“Going to get you something warm to drink,” he said, while gently easing her from his chest. With that, he literally fled from the room and didn’t stop until he was down the stairs and in the kitchen. He held on to the countertop, breathing in large gulps of air.
Scolding himself for his weakness, he poured water in the kettle and put it to boil.
A few minutes later, he felt in control of his emotions when he mounted the stairs with her mug of cocoa in hand. He had no intention of being intimate with her again. Ever.
Rozene could hardly wait for Larry to get back. Thoughts of him widened her smile. She had to make extra effort to calm her palpitating heart when he entered the room. His ruggedness and vitality had always attracted her.
As a pool of heat swirled in her belly, she swung her eyes to his face but she couldn’t see his expression, he was putting the mug on the nightstand. Unconsciously, she licked her lips. Stop gawking. She knitted her brows wondering how to drum up the courage to drag her eyes away from him.
“Can you manage to sit up?” He met her eyes for the first time.
The screeching of her mental brakes almost stopped her heart when she saw his icy gaze – hard and cynical. She shrank back against the bed seeking distance between them but finding none.
He reached for her, thinking she needed help.
“N-No. I can sit up by myself.” She pulled herself into a sitting position and leaned against the headboard. In all this, her body began rebelling at the thought of not getting its duly deserved affection.
She recomposed herself, slightly. “I’ll get it,” she said, as he moved to hand her the mug. She knew he was looking at her but she didn’t meet his gaze, for fear she might start weeping.
“Let me know if you need anything,” he said in a formal voice.
“I’ll be fine,” she reassured him stiffly. “I’m going to move to Madison’s room and take a nap.”
“Okay.” That was fine with him too. She had almost thrown him off balance. Thankfully, he had caught himself and was now back on track. He gathered the towels from the bedside and headed towards the bathroom. He intended to take a shower and hopefully, she would be gone by the time he was finished.
CHAPTER 19
How am I going to fake it? Rozene studied the vaulted ceiling in Madison’s bedroom as she assessed her situation. She had no energy to fake it. And Larry’s detached behavior only added to her trepidation. She needed a Plan B.
Hauling herself into a sitting position, she pressed her back against the headboard and pulled her knees to her chest. She needed to recharge her batteries, after waking up from an hour of uncomfortable sleep.
Prayer. She was about to stifle feverish despair with prayer, when she heard a light knock-knock on the door.
Grim silence prevailed as she stared at the door, a scowl creeping up her face.
But there it was again. Knock-knock.
She arranged herself on the bed. “Come in.”
“I made dinner,” Larry said, not opening the door. “Are you hungry? You should be.” He’d decided that the least he could do was treat her with respect. After thinking about their recent interaction, strangely, he’d hated to see the look of embarrassment on her face when he didn’t respond to her romantic advances.
Rozene paused briefly wondering if she could handle being in his presence. She was a little surprised and embarrassed by his downright coldness towards her earlier when he’d returned with her cocoa. She knew he could be sharp but he was never rude. It was not just his rejection of her starry-eyed advances, but his body language had indicated that he didn’t want to share the same air space with her.
“Are you there?”
She pursed her lips. Must be his I’m-sorry strategy. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
“Okay.”
He was no chef, but since Rozene left home, he’d learned to take care of himself. The house staff continued their weekly job of cleaning and ironing but Larry took on the task of preparing his own meals. Albeit, sometimes he would eat out or order in. Nevertheless, he was thankful that back in the day, he’d always helped out Rozene in the kitchen, so he had caught a few meal preparation tips.
Ten minutes later, Rozene exited the living room into a large circular lounge area, and then veered left to pass through the formal dining area. She was surprised to see the table set for two. Usually, they would eat in the nook between the kitchen and the formal dining room or on the huge patio outside the kitchen.
Larry entered with a covered dish. “You can sit. It’s all here.”
“Thanks.” Rozene mustered a smile before taking a seat at the table, leaving the chair at the head of the table for Larry. He prayed, and then they began to put food on their plates – Grilled Chicken, Brown Rice Pilaf, and Garden Salad.
Oh, the silence. This used to be fun. She waited a minute then took the plunged. “Thanks again for dinner, and everything.”
“No problem.”
She continued to eat wondering what else to say. Something was definitely sucking the oxygen out of the room. “How’s work?” she asked.
Larry wiped his mouth with his napkin. “It’s going,” he said, attacking the chicken with his knife and fork. He didn’t know why he thought he could do this – whatever this was.
Rozene threw another glance in his direction but he was not looking at her. She swallowed a forkful of rice before trying again. “Have you been going to church?” The silence extended so she looked at him again. He was still eating. “I was-”
“I heard you.” His eyes glazed over with boredom. “You can stop pretending we are … Let’s just try and be civil towards each other this weekend.”
Rozene heard herself gulp. Civil? Soon her eyes couldn’t hold the tears and they began to roll down her cheeks. Before long, she pushed back her chair and ran out of the dining room.
Tears running down her face, she clutched the wooden beam on the patio outside the kitchen. Her sobs grew louder, more hysterical and she sank to the floor, burying her head in her lap. Her shoulders shook as the pain in her heart grew. The children will find out and despise me. Panic welled up within her and she raced out the patio door, collapsing on the ground in the gazebo in the backyard.
Larry reached the patio just in time to see her hit the floor of the gazebo. He wanted to hurry after her but his taut body reminded him that he shouldn’t get involved in anything he would regret. He was glad for the motion sensor lights around their home; hopefully, she had not hurt herself.
He approached the gazebo. “Rozene,” he called out when he stood behind her.
Sensing his presence, she made an effort to restrain herself. When she felt his hand on her back, she flinched, then sprang to her feet.
“Go away! Just go away!” she yelled at him. “Leave me alone, please.” Recognizing she couldn’t keep up the tough act, she dropped on the seat, turned away from him and began sobbing again.
Larry leaned against a beam in the gazebo, watching as her sobs grew louder. “Rozene, calm down. Why are you crying?”
Gradually, her sobbing subsided, and when she spoke, there were spaces of silence between her words. “I … I … I’m … a-afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
She rested her back against the seat, not meeting his eyes, for there was no empathy in his voice. “Afraid … afraid of losing … you,” she gulped, “and-and the children.”
One part of him wanted to shout she already did, but he decided not to, afraid he might send her over the edge. He couldn’t drum up a response so he watched her hoping she would say something else.
She graced him with unhappy, puffy eyes, and tear-stained cheeks. “Larry, please.” She wrung her hands together, “I don’t want the children to know right now.” She had to convince him not to tell the children - not now, but really not ever.
“They will know something isn’t right with us.”
“Please try. If they sense anything, please let me be the one to break it to them.”
“Okay.” He sighed, not looking at her. She expected a lot. Yet, despite the pain she’d cause him, he was willing to handle this weekend for the children’s sake.
“I’ll be in Madison’s room,” she said, before walking out of the gaz
ebo.
Larry watched as she quickly made her way to the back patio and then disappeared in the house. He still had not come up with any reason why she’d cheated on him. There was no rationale for it. If she’d stolen, lied, broken the law, slap somebody, sold the house, done anything … anything but that, he would have taken her back. But no, she played him like a fool after nineteen years of marriage. He was beyond miffed. She had better be glad he loved his children or this weekend would definitely not be happening.
Rozene dropped on Madison’s bed, feeling winded. But she took the time to take her woes before God.
“Oh, Lord. You know I made a mess, a total mess of my life. I want to be better, Lord, I pray your will be done in my life as it is established in heaven. God let this weekend be easy for everyone. I pray for understanding between me and my husband. Oh, Lord, cause him to look at me with compassion and love.
Oh, God! Oh, God!” She sobbed, “It breaks my heart when he looks at me as if,” she gulped, “as if I don’t matter. I feel crushed, crushed and insignificant. His gaze reduces me to naught and I can’t breathe when it happens. Lord, I know I caused this situation, but I pray for your grace to walk through this fire. I don’t want my family to break apart so I humbly ask you to mend all the broken pieces and put us back together again. Thank you, Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ, I pray, amen.”
******
The beeping of her cell phone woke Rozene. She reached for it on the nightstand, and turned off the alarm, wondering why it was set for 2:00 AM. She had meant to set it for midnight, to get up and type a paragraph or two of her new book, Undeniably Yours: The Journey to Love. She’d decided to put off, Letters to Wives for another season or when she was back in sync with Larry. She had to hope.
She checked her cell phone call log and noticed the children had called. She also had a few missed calls from a private number, but no messages. A troubled sigh escaped from deep within as she placed her phone on the nightstand and reached for her Kindle. She began reading Psalm 32, but a few verses in, her stomach began to growl.
Mirrored Hearts: Sealed by Fire (Encounters of the Heart Book 2) Page 13
