“I knew there was something I should be doing,” she said, clutching her stomach. Rolling out of bed, she slipped on the matching red robe for her lingerie. Then armed with her Kindle in hand, she headed to the kitchen.
Ten minutes later, she made a cup of cocoa, and then generously spread strawberry cream cheese over two slices of bread. She perched on the stool around the island, and continued reading Psalm 32 while eating.
Larry stood near the kitchen door taking in Rozene, beautifully decked out in her red silk lingerie, her hair tossed behind her back. She had finally finished eating and was now totally engrossed in reading. He wondered if he should disturb her. The last thing he wanted was another bout of waterworks. He had heard when she walked past the bedroom door and decided to investigate what she was doing.
He had felt guilty for snapping at her during dinner. So he’d shared that with Pastor Fotola and he prayed with him. Pastor Fotola, as usual, encouraged him to forgive Rozene and to treat her with respect in light of their mirrored behavior.
Mirrored behavior? There we go again. Mama said the same thing.
Sure he’d committed adultery. But he always hated when Pastor Fotola compared his mishap to Rozene’s sin. Not only did he not want to be reminded of it but he felt that his misadventure happened only once, while Rozene’s was blatant adultery. Plus, she had pushed him into sin since she’d deliberately withheld her body from him. As anger threatened to explode, he diverted his thoughts to the children. He didn’t want to be caught up in a situation where it seemed he had intentionally lied to them by withholding the news. He would not let this situation go past December, not into the New Year. No two ways about it.
He watched Rozene intently. His mind insisted he “X” the spot, but his eyes wanted a snapshot at close range.
“Glad to see you’re eating,” he said, casually leaning against the door frame.
Rozene mouth gaped and her Kindle fell on the countertop with a thud. For the love of God, put some clothes on! Her body perked up as she watched him, dressed in a gray pajama bottom. She squirmed under his gaze as his legs took him closer.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” He came to a stop at the top of the island and placed both hands on it. His razor sharp gaze trained on her, taking in her nightwear.
His shirtless body set off a hum in hers. “No-No problem.”
“What?” he asked, watching her taking him in as if he was a thing to be consumed. It tickled him and a slight smile rose at the corners of his lips.
Embarrassed, Rozene slipped off the stool. “Nothing,” she responded, walking towards the refrigerator and taking out a bottle of water. She all but gasped when she was about to close the door of the refrigerator. Larry was standing next to her. She stared at his chest, unable to meet his eyes. “Did you want something?” she asked.
He didn’t speak for a while. He was busy mentally photographing her red getup. “A bottle of water, please.”
She gave him hers, took out another bottle, and then closed the door. Are you going to move or what? He wouldn’t, so she moved away but she could feel his eyes on her. She decided not to look at him. What if he still had that icy look in his eyes or worst, scorn? Feeling self-conscious, she pulled on her robe, wishing it was longer, it fell mid-thigh.
She left her bottled water on the island and made her way to the sink with the tea cup and plate she’d used. She washed them, hoping he would be gone by the time she turned around. She took her time to wash the tea cup and plate, and then set them down in the dish drainer.
Larry finished his water and placed the empty bottle on the island. He watched Rozene, taking in her hair and small waist before moving to her toned legs. He knew she was trying to avoid him and with good reason. He hadn’t exactly been Mr. Charming, but she had done him wrong. You did her wrong too, an inner voice cautioned. How do you think she’s going to feel when she finds out? He would never tell her. And he was not about to let anyone – not his mother, not Pastor Fotola – pressure him into telling her.
Rozene still had her back turned to him, when she reached for a sheet of paper towel and dried her hands, then dropped it in the garbage bin. Now, she had no choice but to turn around. Was he still there?
Yes. He was still there, leaning against the refrigerator, and watching her as if he had all the time in the world. He didn’t even avert his eyes when she turned around. Well, she didn’t care. Right now, even if he was going to help her out this weekend, she was not staying in his presence. He had wounded her enough. No more, her eyes signaled to him as she walked back to the island, determined to bid him goodnight.
After taking up her bottled water and Kindle, she faced him.
“The children called while you were resting,” he said before she could speak. “I told them not to wake you.”
Relief hit her. “I noticed they had called. Is everything okay with them?”
“Yes. They are good. Just reminding me to pick them up tomorrow.”
She smiled. “As if you would forget. I can’t wait to see them.”
“Now she looks at me. And wow, she smiles too,” he said drily.
After a brief hesitation, she spoke, having swallowed the lump in her throat. “It’s just difficult … all over.” She looked away from him. “I try not to look at you because,” her voice broke and for a moment she wanted to weep, “you look at me … as if I don’t matter to you anymore. I’m ashamed of what I did to destroy our marriage.” Feeling like she would choke, she stilled herself to regain control of her emotions.
“You know it’s difficult for me to play a role. How can I look at you the same way? You treated me like a fool because I loved you.”
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
The silence stretched on forever.
“So am I,” he said, in a clipped tone.
She bolted. But she hadn’t made it to the door when strong arms lifted her off the ground. The bottled water and her Kindle fell to the ground.
“Put me down,” she yelled, struggling against him.
“Only if you stop fighting.”
Winded, she stopped.
He placed her on the ground but his hand still circled her waist, keeping her in place.
“I-I need to go,” she said, conscious of their skin to skin contact.
Larry cupped her chin with his hand, forcing her to look at him. “For the children’s sake, I promise I’ll do the best I can this weekend.”
Tears ran down her cheeks and she wiped them away. “Okay, thanks. I-I’m off to bed.”
“Pray for me, please,” he told her before releasing her.
She nodded and quickly left the kitchen.
Larry closed his eyes for a moment and sent up a silent prayer.
Lord, you know I need more of you and less of me. Help me to do what I need to do this weekend.
He opened his eyes, picked up her Kindle and bottled water from the ground and placed them on the island, before heading back to bed.
CHAPTER 20
“Today’s the day!” Rozene threw her hands in the air. Her grin widened at the thought of seeing her children.
She looked over the eight-seater oval table laden with breakfast goodies in the nook, before moving back to the kitchen. She was making omelets, when Larry entered with a loud, “Morning.”
She glanced over her shoulder and returned his greeting before turning her attention to the omelet she was making.
“Something smells good.” He leaned in with his back resting on the cupboard top near the stove to inspect the omelet.
A whiff of his cologne wafted into her nostrils. “Tha-thanks.”
Larry’s dark brown gaze ran slowly over her face. He wondered what she was so nervous about. “Need help?”
She stared at him as if she didn’t hear him, before pointing to the kettle resting on the stove, then the two teacups behind him. “Pour -”
“Sure.” He took the kettle from the stove and poured water into the two te
acups.
“Please put them on the table,” she told him, composing herself.
She turned off the burner, and then put the omelets on two plates and followed him into the kitchen nook.
They ate, keeping their conversation light, if you can call it that. Nevertheless, several times, Larry felt Rozene’s assessing stare. He finished eating and then wiped his mouth with a napkin before meeting her gaze.
She blushed, hastily sipping her orange juice.
He continued to look at her, his eyes questioning her reasons for studying him.
She gulped more of her orange juice before murmuring, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“That’s hard to believe. You’ve been watching me ever since we sat down. What is it?”
A slow sigh of regret escaped. “You … could you be,” her mouth formed the rest of the sentence, but no sound came. She tried again, softly, “Could you be more loving towards me?”
“Say that again.” He swirled the orange juice so the ice cubes clinked the edge of the glass, then took a sip.
She looked even more nervous.
“Honestly, I didn’t hear what you said.”
She twitched nervously on the chair. “I-I was saying if it was pos-possible for you to be more loving towards me.”
He shifted his gaze for a moment to his empty plate before him. Of course, she was right. He needed to beef up his affection or the kids would know off the bat that something was wrong.
He sighed loudly. Their marriage was now all about keeping up appearances.
“I know I’m asking a lot,” she offered quietly.
“Well, you could help by not being so tense and tearful around me. And please quit looking at me with sorrowful eyes. You knew what you were doing with that man. And while I’m at it, stop looking at me as if you want me. You made your choice clear.”
Rozene’s face flushed with embarrassment. For the first time in her life, she attempted a vanishing act. When that failed, she looked at her plate, murmuring, “Sorry.”
A long silence ensued.
Something about her wanting him annoyed Larry to no end. He didn’t care either that his body was acting all perky in her presence. He was determined to keep his body under subjection, even if it killed him. His lips tightened as he looked at her. “Like I said last night, for the children’s sake, I’ll do the best I can this weekend.”
Rozene nodded without meeting his eyes.
“Thanks for breakfast. I’ll be leaving within the hour,” Larry said. “I won’t be back to the office until Tuesday but I have stuff to get done on the road. I’m also conducting a resume writing session at the Learning Center, after lunch. After that, I’ll head to the airport for the children. Do you need anything?”
“No,” Rozene responded quietly.
“Excuse me,” Larry said, rising from the table and taking up a handful of plates before making his way to the kitchen.
“I’ll get the rest and wash up.”
“Thank you,” he said before disappearing through the door.
Rozene shook her head in disbelief. Yes, I do want you, she wanted to shout. A deep sigh slipped free from her as Larry re-entered the nook.
He stopped briefly at the table before moving on. He needed the strength of the Lord to get through this weekend.
Rozene rose from her seat and absentmindedly cleared the rest of the dishes from the table. After washing the dirty dishes, she took out a packet of fish from the freezer, and placed it in a huge bowl filled with water. She stared at the bowl as it sat where she’d placed it on the cupboard top. Like the packet of fish, she felt like she needed to thaw out. Just chill out. Take it easy. Cooking had always put her in a great mood. Plus, it was always a pleasure to cook for her family.
Family?
Yes, we are still a family. She had to believe that. She was trusting God.
Still deep in thought, she squirted lotion from a bottle near the sink and rubbed her hands together, and then mentally planned her day – spend time in prayer, write another chapter, re-read notes for videotaping session with Don, move out of Madison’s room to the master suite, cook dinner, and rest.
She moved to the kitchen window and her breath caught, mesmerized by the lush landscape – the beautiful colors and hues in the backyard. The sun danced through the window, yet she didn’t seem to notice. She covered her heart with her hands feeling instantly humbled at the sight before her.
Larry entered the kitchen, and squinted against the dazzling morning sunlight. He stopped at the island when he noticed a fiery halo formed around Rozene’s light-brown hair. His muscular legs covered the distance between them and he planted his hands on either side of her, trapping her against the cupboard before lowering his head to kiss her cheek.
Frantic, Rozene whipped her head towards him and found herself in a brief lip lock with him.
Immediately they broke apart.
“Good-goodness!” she spluttered, clutching the sink for support. She could feel her heart pounding in her temple. His touch had scorched her like a brand.
Larry saw her labored breathing. He hoped she wouldn’t pass out on him. How will we ever convince the children we’re okay?
Still shaken, Rozene made her way to the island and sat on a stool. She eyed Larry, with obvious restraint. “What was that all about?”
He lifted his hands and raised his eyes heavenward. “I was just practicing for when the children get here.”
“Couldn’t you warn me?”
“Why would I? Wouldn’t it be natural for me to kiss or hug you? When they are here, do you expect me to tell you in advance that I’m about to touch you?”
“That’s different. At least I would be expecting it then.”
“I remember a time when you couldn’t wait to be in my arms.”
Here we go again. “I still can’t wait to be in your arms.” If it wasn’t for Larry’s dark piercing gaze, she wouldn’t have known she’d said it aloud. It was time to do the vanishing act, again.
Lord knows she and Larry had had their fair share of arguments. They both had strong personalities but they were good at communicating expectations. They were the perfect match, yet the perfect storm. It was a delicate balance but as the years flew by, they had moved towards a more perfect union.
She had no intention of picking a fight now. Not with the children coming home. But what she disliked, was arguing for arguing sake over the silliest, dumbest, slightest thing. There had to be some point to the argument. Now, exactly what was the point of their argument? Oh, yes – There was a time when I couldn’t wait to be in his arms. Ignoring her rapidly beating heart, she reiterated, “I still can’t wait to be in your arms.”
Larry stood, looking at her from the other side of the island. Was wondering where that fire went? Too bad, I’m not going there with you. “Is that how you’re going to be, jittery when I touch you?”
“No. I wasn’t expecting you to do so until the children are here.”
“Okay then, humor me. Give me a hug.”
She knitted her brows, wondering if he was joking. “Please. I know how to hug you.”
She tried to sound nonchalant, but he knew she was far from it. He shrugged but did not move. “You need practice because you’re all jumpy.”
Her mouth went dry. “Okay.”
Larry stood rooted to the spot. Seconds turned into minutes and he sighed heavily before pushing away from the island and moving towards the door.
“Larry!” Rozene called out in a strangled voice. For all her courageous talk, it was about time she developed a backbone.
He stopped at the sound of the desperation in her voice.
She willed him to turn and face her as she approached, but he didn’t.
When they were face to face, Rozene ventured a quick scan, taking in his strong jawline and tempting bow-shaped lips. But his eyes chilled her heart. They were as hard as steel. Nevertheless, a rush of courage engulfed her, and she moved closer to him, and t
enderly circled his neck with her arms, gazing at him.
His posture rigid, Larry’s icy gaze raked over her face, lingering for a couple of seconds on her lips, before returning to her eyes.
The muscles in her belly tightened in reaction, and her heart skipped several beats under his unflinching scrutiny.
He hugged her lightly around her waist, and she heard the steady beating of his heart - strong yet tender. Passionate yet restrained.
In the midst of her mental deliberations, her body began to relax against his hard frame, and a feeling of rightness filled her. When she tip-toed and buried her head in his neck, she felt tiny tremors rocking his body.
He quickly released her and put her away from him. “Okay,” he said in what he considered his most normal voice under the circumstances. “Later.”
Without waiting for her response, Larry walked out of the kitchen. The quivering of his stomach testifying that his body had once again betrayed him. His nostrils flared as he stood in the doorway leading to the garage. How can I still find her desirable after all she has done? When no rational excuse came, he closed the door behind him.
Rozene slumped down on a stool at the island, bracing back tears at her pity party for one. She was full of pity – for herself and for Larry. His inability to forgive her would forever keep them apart. As soon as the thought formed in her mind, she rose to full height. “No. Not so,” she declared loudly. “My God will perfect that which concerns me.” I won’t limit myself because of my blunders and failures. It’s a new day and it will be a great day.
CHAPTER 21
Casting a furtive glance at the digital clock on the nightstand in Madison’s room, Rozene noted she had two hours to go before Larry arrived with Mason and Madison. Thankfully, she had completed her “to-do” list.
Me time. And she had all intentions of doing that as she moved down the hallway and entered the master suite in high spirit. Smiling, she let out a shout of praise, and began twirling. Suddenly, she stopped. Someone was interrupting her celebration. She cautiously reached for her cell phone on the bed. Private number.
Mirrored Hearts: Sealed by Fire (Encounters of the Heart Book 2) Page 14
