Mirrored Hearts: Sealed by Fire (Encounters of the Heart Book 2)

by Ann Marie Bryan

  Seeing them leave reminded her of what was important … her family. Lord, please! Please, Father, I don’t want to lose them. Please make a way of escape for me.

  CHAPTER 25

  The Lord will fight your battle, Rozene reminded herself. She had just finished praying with her mother and was about to meet with Larry in their home library. The library of all places. Clearly, it was all about the business for him. She would much rather meet in the bedroom.

  As she made her way downstairs, she began shoring up herself with scriptures.

  “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

  “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

  She took a deep breath and prepared herself as she came around the corner on the ground floor and entered a passageway. The library was in full sight.

  Larry sat patiently waiting for Rozene. He almost went to pieces as he watched her in the rearview mirror when he drove away with the children for the airport. She looked as wounded as a lost puppy, begging for affection.

  He missed her spunk and the way everything seemed balanced when she was around. He wasn’t looking forward to their conversation, but he intended to hear her out. Lord, help me to hear her heart, and help me to express myself with clarity, he prayed silently.

  Rozene entered the lounge area in the library with an air of quiet confidence. After greeting Larry, she took a seat on a plush turquoise three-seater chair across from him. She sat up on the chair and tipped her head back, taking in his serious expression. Not a problem. She was accustomed to his intense stare. It had popped up more than a few times in their marriage.

  She humbly lowered her eyes.

  Larry watched her keenly. Mentally, he grudgingly admitted that she looked repentant. He hoped she’d read him correctly - Say what you need to say and let me be. He had gone through many fires but this one was as hot as heck.

  “You have something to say?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Larry, nothing I can say will excuse what I have done to our marriage. My behavior-”

  “We’re done here then,” he told her, pulling forward on the chair.

  “No, no,” she begged. “I still need to talk with you.”

  He settled back in the chair, his gaze trained on her.

  She gripped her hands in her lap. “My behavior is inexcusable, and I am so sorry. The first time I came in contact with Chandler was last fall at my three-day writers’ conference and book tour in Washington, D.C. I didn’t meet him officially. He was in the audience and -”

  “So that’s when the lust started?”

  She squeezed her fingers together. “Please hear me out,”

  “No need,” he said pointedly. “I know the rest of the story. You’ve been sleeping with him since then.”

  “I slept with him twice.”

  His eyes turned stone cold. “Twice. Twenty times. One hundred times. I really don’t care, Rozene. You have a husband. That’s what I’m here for.” He glared at her, not even realizing he’d pulled forward on the chair. “You know what kills me. I was running around the house jumping through hoops to sleep with you, my wife. And my wife was busy getting some everywhere, from a random stranger.”

  Rozene’s eyes brimmed with tears. “It was not like that.”

  “Listen!” Larry stood up and marched towards the door. “I don’t have time for this.”

  Rozene ran before him and blocked his way. “Larry, please, just hear me out.”

  He tried to go around her but she blocked him.

  “Please,” she cried out, burying her head in his chest. “I’m sorry. Please, please, just listen.”

  He was still for what seemed like forever, but she was not about to give up. The whole world closing in on her, she wrapped her arms around his waist and clung to him, her tears drenching his shirt. “I love you. Please don’t do this.”

  Larry slowed his breathing as she nuzzled against him. “Let go of me,” he told her roughly.

  “Larry, please,” she begged, still hanging on for dear life.

  “Let go of me, Rozene,” he told her firmly, tugging on her hands.

  She released him, dropping her watery eyes to the floor as she stood before him. “Please,” she begged again.

  A long moment of silence passed as Larry struggled for composure. He slid his hands into his pockets, and regarded her. “Okay,” he huffed out. Walking back to his chair, he lowered himself in it, staring straight ahead.

  She sat beside him with her legs turned towards him. “Nothing happened in D.C.,” she told him. “But he was at my book tour event three weeks later in Chicago.”

  She looked at Larry who seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but in his current position. He was now looking at the door as if any moment he would bolt.

  Larry sighed heavily, leveling the full force of his gaze against her. “So that’s why you were faking sick in Chicago? You were never in the mood for intimacy.”

  She was quiet before she decided to put on her big girl hat. “Yes. But -”

  “I see.”

  “I wasn’t faking my sickness. I felt sick because of what I had done. Guilt was eating away my soul. I was in prayer for the entire weekend.”

  Larry chuckled in disbelief. “In prayer? Isn’t that what you should have been doing before you got yourself into that mess? What’s the point of telling others to pray when temptation comes upon them, when you yourself can’t even do it? Isn’t that the height of hypocrisy?”

  Rozene looked away as tears rushed in. For she remembered the lively Bible Study she’d conducted at church, and the in-depth discussion on 1 Corinthians 10:12 - “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.”

  “You know, Rozene, you talk a good game. You said you were in prayer all weekend, yet you had to go back for seconds. He was that good.” Larry stood up, unable to take any more. “Well, you can both have each other.”

  Rozene jumped off the seat. “Larry, I’m not seeing him anymore. I told you that long ago. It is over. Has been over. Honey, please, I want our marriage. I was just in a bad place after the kids left. I didn’t realize how much their lives were a part of mine. I had begun to feel lonely and …” She looked away, wiping her eyes with her fingers.

  He folded his hands across his chest. “And?”

  She took her time. “I wondered … I wondered if I was enough for you.”

  He shook his head in disbelief. “Enough?” He could hardly find the words to express how ridiculous that sounded.

  “Yes, Larry. The children were a huge part of our lives and with them gone, I didn’t know if I could handle all of you. And …”

  “I have been waiting to hear what is behind that ‘and’.”

  She became quiet for a moment, even though her eyes were brimming with tears. “And, I did put on some weight, in case you didn’t notice.”

  Larry looked at her - the girl whom he had loved from the day he saw her in high school – trying to make sense of what she was saying. He couldn’t let go of the images of her that he’d stored in his mind – her wild intelligence, her love for humanity, her joy for giving, and the way she pushed and overcame any and every challenge that came her way. She always lived to fight again because she always relied on the Rock of Ages.

  She was unmovable.

  Filled with integrity.

  Always above board.

  A woman of grace.

  A woman of God.

  He was always stunned by her beauty, whether she was asleep or awake. He remembered waking up many mornings and he would lie there watching her sleep. She was divine. She was still the best part of his … every day.

  Her tears weighed on his spirit, and his anger evaporated.

  He cupped her chin and used his thumb to wipe her tears away. “Don't cry.”

  Her eyes widened and she hyperventilated as she pleaded with him.
“I don’t want to live without you. Please don’t ma-make me.”

  “Shhhh.” He released her face but didn’t say anything for a while.

  “Lar -”

  “Rozene, I have always loved you, just the way you are.” His tone was kind, yet restrained. “I don’t care if you put on weight. In any case, what weight gain are you talking about? It’s barely noticeable. What I desire most, is for you to be healthy and happy. You were always the most beautiful girl in the room for me. You always had my love, my heart, and my eyes.”

  He looked at her without saying a word. For all the boldness he possessed, he was struggling with what he had to say to her. Yet, they had always been frank with each other. So he took his time.

  “Rozene, you need to face the reality of what you did. It would have been better if you had pleaded temporary insanity.”

  Heat scorched her face and she looked away from him, unable to suppress the bleakness in her voice as she asked, “What do you mean?”

  “What you are doing now is catching a reverse,” he told her. “You’ve deliberately tested the waters and realized the grass is not greener on the other side.” A hollow laugh escaped him. “Can I tell you, it never is,” he said in all seriousness. “You were caught up in your own lustful thinking. You saw that man. Obviously, he saw you too. You knew he wanted you. It must have surprised you, that you wanted him. Sadly, you were only testing the water, because you know you have it good at home. On the other hand, he wanted more. Little did he know you would never, ever give up your family for him.”

  Rozene attempted another vanishing act.

  “Did I get it right?” he asked.

  She did not respond.

  “I know you heard me. Did I get it right?” Larry insisted, already knowing the answer.

  A fresh wave of tears assailed her. “Lar-Larry, please.”

  “Please what, Rozene? He had a craving. You got the same craving. And clearly, you accepted his invitation to the treat, because we wouldn’t be here now.” The intensity in his voice cut through the air. He eyed her. “I get it. Why can’t you just admit the truth? Am I right?”

  The truth will destroy him. She hung her head in shame. Truthfully, Chandler took her by surprise, and before she knew it, she was off the grid. He’d been a thorn in her flesh for a short spell, but clearly long enough to wreck her life.

  She swallowed the lump in her throat as she caught Larry’s eyes. No fooling him. He knew her too well. She mumbled something inaudibly at first, tears trickling down her cheeks, before finally quietly answering, “Yes.”

  Shock held Larry immobile for a second, as her response echoed unendingly in his heart. His mouth opened but nothing came out. He couldn’t speak, which probably was a good thing.

  “Larry,” Rozene choked out.

  But, he didn’t respond. He turned away from her, stress knotting his throat and he blinked back tears.

  Instinctively, Rozene grabbed his arm. “I’m sooo sorry.”

  He recoiled, causing her to quickly remove her hand.

  A long silence followed, and her tears continued to fall but not a sound escaped her lips. Then, she began to sob loudly. Minutes passed and her sobs stopped and the only sound in the room was her deep gasps for air.

  Larry felt disconnected and disoriented at the same time. “Do you love him?” His voice cracked into a hoarse whisper.

  “No!” she gasped. For she realized, she’d fed her carnal desire by looking and looking, until the desire to touch took root, and before long, she’d reached out and not only touched the fruit but bit it. Since then, her daily cry had been, Lord, teach me to hate sin.

  Larry didn’t even realize tears had escaped until he was drying his eyes. He was startled by what he’d revealed to her. But little did she know that her response briefly stopped his heart. He didn’t have to ask, for he already knew the answer, but he was hoping she would insist that Chandler had forced her. But no. She wanted that man … even if it was for a hot few minutes.

  A deep gnawing hurt crawled from the sole of his feet to the crown of his head, before igniting his heart and residing there. He needed to flip the switch to pull his dull senses back to reality. He felt like he was in a fiery furnace with no clear escape route.

  He closed his eyes briefly, trying to clear his head. Then something hit him. He’d always accompanied her to her events but he’d been busy for her last couple of tours, so how did this man get close to her?

  “How did he get close to you? Is he related to someone on the book tour team? Thought Don kept security tight.”

  Rozene pursed her lips then answered truthfully. “He’s Don’s half-brother.”

  “My good, Lord!” Larry jumped away from her. “The Chandler.” He ran both hands over his face as he tried to contain himself.

  Rozene gulped. “Lar -”

  The hollow laugh that came from him silenced her. He stopped laughing abruptly, his eyebrows shooting to his hairline and staying there. “Never met the man but his reputation precedes him,” he told her slowly.

  Rozene’s gaze dropped to the floor.

  “I know Don would never tolerate this in his shop,” Larry continued. “I’ve heard enough.” Long strides took him near the door.

  “Lar -”

  He paused in the doorway but did not look at her. “It’s best that we don’t see each other or communicate for that matter.”

  “Don’t say that!” she cried out behind him. She froze as he turned towards her.

  He cleared the gravel from his throat. “Have a safe trip back,” he said, before moving on.

  Overwhelmed and filled with regret, Rozene’s knees buckled. Her screams of anguish pierced the air as she doubled over on the floor, clutching her stomach to quell the pain of her broken heart.

  CHAPTER 26

  Larry did not look back. He couldn’t save Rozene from the pit she had dug for herself. The same pit he was trying to crawl out of. Truthfully, he needed saving himself. He couldn’t breathe.

  Once he cleared the library door, he ran as quickly as his legs could take him down the corridor. Panting, he took the stairs two at a time.

  A few minutes later, his heart pumping out of control, he burst through the door of the study, slammed it shut, and crumpled against it. This time he couldn’t hold back the dam as his tears broke free. His shoulders shook violently and his sobs grew louder and turned into hoarse, heartbreaking gasps. He stumbled blindly toward his desk but couldn’t make it, so he collapsed on the sofa nearby, weeping inconsolably and convulsing.

  The hurt was like a ton of bricks and he felt ridiculously inadequate to carry them. He was tired of being strong. Tired of pretending that everything was all right. Tired of pretending he didn’t care. Just tired … of everything. He had fallen into a pit of nothingness.

  Fresh tears ran in an endless stream down his face and he allowed his tears to flow for he realized his marriage, as he knew it, had come to an end.

  A little over an hour later, Rozene knocked on the door of the study but no response came. She knew Larry was in there. Throughout the course of their marriage, it had been his place of refuge, the one place where he could find solace.

  She quietly entered the study and found him stretched out on the sofa. His eyes were closed but she could tell he was not in a deep sleep. She noticed the pieces of tissue on the floor beside the sofa. Was he crying? She knew her husband tried not to have too many regrets. The only time she’d seen him cry was at his father’s funeral. He cried at the funeral but wept inconsolably in her arms that night. He regretted that up to his father’s death, he’d not forgiven him for the way he treated his mother. She’d accompanied him to grief counseling with Pastor Fotola. He pressed through, and eventually managed to forgive himself.

  Even though Larry had tried hard to conceal it, she could clearly see the pain in his eyes when he’d speed walked out of the library earlier. She had to try again to convince him that their marriage was worth saving.

&
nbsp; “Larry,” she called out softly.

  He stirred but did not open his eyes.

  “I’m leaving,” she told him. “Wanted to say goodbye.”

  “Okay,” he said in a monotone, not opening his eyes.

  The silence stretched on, and he knew she was staring at him. Feeling at a disadvantage, he opened his eyes and swung his legs off the sofa and sat back. Then every coherent thought stopped as his bloodshot eyes beheld her frame. She was decked out in a red pleated romper, her hair falling delicately over her shoulders. She came to win the war.

  Rozene gazed at him, unable to comprehend that this was it.

  Tortured, Larry shut down his mental deliberations. “Was there something else?” His eyes were cold as he looked at her questioningly.

  “Larry -”

  “No more, Rozene. I’m done talking.” His brows slammed together as he pushed away from the sofa and walked towards the huge window.

  Rozene stared at his back, as he gazed out the window, his hands in his pocket.

  “Why are you dressed like that?” he asked sternly, not looking around.

  “Like what? I’m more than covered. It’s a halter top but I’m probably the only one wearing a romper near to my knees. Not sure why I’m explaining this to you. You’ve seen me in this a thousand times.”

  “I don’t know you to go on the street like that.”

  “Who’s going on the street? I’m going straight to Mom and Pop. In any case, I’ll have my jeans jacket with me.”

  Stop this nonsense, Larry scolded himself, still staring out the window. Are you going to tell her what to eat next? He glanced over his shoulder at her. “I’m all talked out. Have a safe trip back.”

  “I need to say something to you.”

  “You have more to say? Thought you said it all,” he scoffed, propping a shoulder against the wall near the window while continuing to stare outside.

  “Exactly! I said it all. Why don’t you say what’s really on your heart, Larry? Tell me, you hate that I gave myself to another man.”

  He didn’t move. “Yes. I hate that you gave yourself to another man. Is there something else you need me to say before you leave?”