Seasons of the Heart: Omnibus

by Janette Oke

  In next to no time Matilda was breezing in again. The two girls hugged and squealed and laughed like they'd been apart for years. Even Grandpa and Uncle Charlie got enthusiastic squeezes. I accepted a small hug myself, then backed up and looked at Matilda's glowing face.

  "How's the crop, josh?" she burst out before I had a chance to open my mouth. No "How are you?" or anything like that, but "How's the crop?" and I knew just what she was thinking about. I was prepared to tease her a bit.

  I shrugged my shoulders and put a glum look on my face. "It might pay for the cuttin;" I informed her drearily. "That is, if we don't get any hail or such:"

  Matilda's mouth went down at the corners, and a sound of disappointment escaped her lips.

  "Look on the bright side;' I said, patting her shoulder. "With good weather and no more problems, we'll have a bit of seed grain for next spring"

  Matilda looked awfully disappointed, even shamefaced.

  "I told all my friends that you'd be getting a-a motor car;' she said softly, her voice catching on the last word.

  "Well, now, I didn't make me any promises on that, did I?" I said, keeping my expression somber. "Maybe you shouldn't'a been tellin' tales out of school:' But when she looked like she might cry, I decided I had gone far enough.

  "I'm just joshin;' I grinned at her. "The crop looks good. Real good" And as Matilda was about to exuberantly throw herself at me I hastened on, "Now remember, I'm still not promisin: Just been thinkin' on that automobile. No promises."

  But Matilda didn't seem one bit worried about the results of "thinkin' on it" Guess she knew me well enough to know I wanted that motor car too.

  She punched me on the arm with a little fist, but her eyes were shining. "Oh, josh," she scolded, "you're mean!"

  Grandpa chuckled and Uncle Charlie just grinned.

  When the school year started again, it was rather a traumatic time for Aunt Lou. Sarah Jane started off to first grade. I hadn't realized how tough it was on mothers to see their first baby go off into a whole new world. Lou wanted to be enthusiastic for Sarah's sake, but I knew that if it had been in Lou's power to turn back the clock a year or two, she could not have refrained from doing so.

  Mary went into the final stages of putting up summer fruits and vegetables. As I watched the stacks of canning jars fill and refill the kitchen counter top, I wondered how in the world the five of us could ever consume so much food. Part of the answer came when I saw Mary and Grandpa load a whole bunch into the buggy and send it off to town to Aunt Lou. Lou was too busy with her little family and being a pastor's wife to do much canning of her own, Mary reasoned. Lou was deeply appreciative. After all, a pastor's salary didn't leave much room for extras, though I'd never heard Lou complain.

  I began to find little pamphlets and newspaper advertisements scattered about the kitchen telling about this motor car or that automobile and the merits of each. I didn't have to guess who was leaving them about, but I did wonder how Matilda was collecting them.

  I read the descriptions-just like she knew I would. In fact, I sneaked them off to my own bedroom and lay in bed going over and over them. My, some of them were fancy! I hadn't known that such features existed. Why, you could start the motor without cranking it in the front! Then I would look at the listed price. I hadn't known that they cost so much, either, and doubts began to form in my mind. The same number of dollars could do so many things for the farm. I began to realize that Matilda's little campaign might well come to nothing. It could be sheer foolishness for me to buy a car.

  I went into harvest with my mind debating back and forth. One day I would think for sure that I "deserved a car." The whole family deserved a car after all the years of slow team travel. And think of how much valuable time wed save, I'd reason. Then the next day I would think of the farm needs, of the church needs, of my promise to support Camellia in her missionary service, of the stock I could purchase or the things for Mary's kitchen; and I would mentally strike the motor car from my list. Back and forth, this way and that way I argued with myself. Even all of the praying I did about it didn't put my mind at rest.

  It did turn out to be a good crop. Even better than I'd dared hope. I watched the bins fill to overflowing with wonderfully healthy grain. I had to purchase an extra bin from the Sanders and pull it into our yard with the tractor. I filled it, too. The good quality grain brought good prices as well. God had truly blessed us.

  Now, how did He want me to spend what He had given? How could I be a responsible steward?

  I was still busy with the farm duties during the day, but in the evenings I spent hours and hours poring over the account books. I figured this way, then that way. With every load of grain I took to town, the numbers in my little book swelled. There would be a surplus. But would there be enough for the motor car? And if so, was a motor car necessary? Practical? The right thing for the Jones family?

  I knew everyone was waiting for my decision. Grandpa and Uncle Charlie did not question me. Mary never made mention of the vehicle, but I could sense that she was sharing my struggle over the decision. Matilda stopped cajoling me about it, but her eyes continually questioned, and I knew she was getting very impatient waiting for me to make up my mind.

  I went to my room one night and took out all the advertisements again. I laid aside the one showing the shiny gray Bentley. It was far too fancy and costly for me, though I did allow myself one fleeting mental picture of me purring down our country road at the wheel. I laid aside a few more as well. As the pile of discarded pamphlets grew, a bit of the pride and envy of Joshua Jones was also cast aside. At last I was left with a plain, simple car made by the Ford company. There was plenty of money for the Ford-with a good deal left for other things we needed. I would get the Ford. My conscience could live with that.

  I breathed a sigh of relief, laid aside the pamphlet and blew out my light. In the darkness of my room I knelt by my bed to pray. With the decision finally made with the seeming approval of my Father, I welcomed a sense of peace. I slept that night like I hadn't slept in weeks.

  The next morning at the breakfast table I cleared my throat to get the family's attention. "I decided to get a car;' I announced, and before I could go further there was a squeal from Matilda, a smile from Mary, and a nod from Grandpa. Uncle Charlie just grinned a bit. The long, jarring buggy rides were hard on his arthritic bones.

  "Now wait. Now wait," I protested, holding up my hand and directing my words to Matilda. "We can afford a motor car-no problem. But I decided that it won't be a fancy one. No need for that, and it would just set us back. We'll get a simple, practical Ford-none of the gadgets and gizmos."

  Matilda sobered.

  "But it will have wheels-and get us to where we need to go;' I assured them.

  Matilda's face brightened again.

  "When?" asked Grandpa, and though he tried hard to hide it, I caught the excitement in his voice.

  "I'm goin' to town to order it today," I answered, and I had a hard time controlling my own excitement.

  Matilda squealed. "Oh, Josh. It's so-o exciting!" she bubbled.

  Uncle Charlie's smile widened.

  I looked at Mary. Her face was flushed, her eyes shining. Then she did a most unexpected thing. She reached over and gave my hand a squeeze.

  If Matilda had done it, I would have thought nothing of it. In fact, I would have thought nothing of it if Matilda had thrown herself wildly into my arms or flung her arms about my neck and squeezed with all her might-that was just Matilda. But Mary? That quiet little gesture of shared excitement somehow set my pulse to racing.

  I flushed slightly as I pulled my eyes back to the other members at the breakfast table and rose slowly to my feet. It was a moment before I found my thoughts, my tongue.

  "I-I'll order it-today, but-but I have no idea how long it might be before it comes:"

  Matilda brought things back to normal. "Oh, I hope it arrives soon!" she exclaimed, bouncing up from her chair. "I hope it hurries. We don't ha
ve much time. We need it before winter so we can learn to drive it before the snow-

  Matilda caught herself and stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes met mine and she looked like a small child coaxing for a treat. She had been using a lot of "we's;' which was rather presumptuous on her part, but I just smiled and gave her a quick wink. I understood.

  After we shared our morning devotions together around the breakfast table, I went back to my room and folded the Ford pamphlet and slipped it into my pocket. As soon as I had finished the last of the morning chores, I would saddle Chester and head for town.

  CHAPTER 5

  The Ford

  Like Matilda, I was hoping the car would arrive before snowfall. I wanted the chance to learn to drive it while the roads were still clear.

  I managed to keep myself busy with no problem. I must admit I made a few more trips to town than normal. I pretended that I needed things or wanted the mail, but in fact I stopped in to check-with regularity-if there had been any word on the car.

  On one such trip to town I found a long, newsy letter from Camellia. She had received word from the Mission Society that she would be leaving for Africa in the spring. She was so excited that her penmanship, usually in character-neat and attractive-was rushed and almost sloppy. This letter conveyed intense excitement.

  "I can't believe it, Josh!" she wrote. `After all these years I am finally going to Willie's Africa. To the people he learned to love so. I will be stationed near enough to the village where Willie served that the mission has promised a trip to the grave site. I will be able to see the spot where Willie's body is lying. I know that it might not seem like much to others, but I think you will understand. I want to personally be able to lay some flowers on Willie's grave. And it will be very special for me to be able to kneel there and ask God to help me in carrying on Willie's ministry.

  "I won't be staying in the area. At least not for now. They say it is much too primitive to leave a woman all alone, and there is no other young lady available to live and work with me at present. But I am praying that if it is God's will, He will provide me with a working companion so that we might be able to live there before too long and have a chance to reach Willie's people.

  "He used to write me all about them. I can almost see them. There was the chief-a small man by our standards-but, my, he had power! Willie said that the people didn't question his word for one minute. And there was one old woman-I do hope she is still there. She fed Willie from her own cooking pot, even though there was scarcely enough for her own family. Willie was sure she herself must have gone without food numerous times. And the little children. Willie said they followed along behind him, curious as to what this strange white man was going to do. And then there was Andrew. That was not his African name. That was the name Willie gave to him after he became a Christian. He was Willie's only convert. I can hardly wait to meet Andrew."

  Camellia's letter went on, but I couldn't continue reading for the moment. It was some time before my eyes were dry enough to see the words on the page. If I missed Willie this much, I couldn't imagine what the loss was like for Camellia.

  Camellia wrote about not wanting to leave her mother all alone. Then she chided herself. Of course her mother would not be alone-she had the same Lord with her who would be with Camellia on the mission field.

  "You've always been such a dear friend, josh, to both Willie and me. I appreciate your friendship now more than ever. And I can never thank you enough for helping with my support so I can go to Africa as Willie and I had planned. I pray for you daily. May God bless you, josh, and grant to you the desires of your heart, whatever or whoever that might be."

  Camellia had underscored "whoever," and I could picture her face with the teasing gleam in her eyes as I read the little message. I felt an emptiness inside of me. Would there ever be anyone else who would take the place of Camellia in my heart? I pushed the thought aside. Camellia was headed for Africa, and for some reason, still a mystery to me, God had chosen for me to stay on the farm.

  I read the last paragraph again. "May God bless you, josh, and grant to you the desires of your heart, whatever-"

  I stopped there. I had come into town to check on the Ford again. As my eyes traveled back over the pages of Camellia's letter, the idea of a motor car paled in comparison.

  "Lord;" I admitted in a simple prayer, "I've got things a bit out of perspective. We need a car. I've weighed the purchase this way and that way, and for all involved it seems like the right move-but help me, Lord, not to get too wrapped up in it. A car is, after all, just a way to get places. These peoplethese Africans of Camellia's-they are eternal souls. Brothers. Remind me to spend more time in prayer for them as Camellia goes to minister the gospel to them:"

  I carefully folded Camellia's letter and tucked it in an inside pocket. I didn't even bother to go on down the street to check on the arrival of the car. It would be here when it was here! Instead I turned Chester toward Lou's. The children would welcome a little visit, and it would be nice to sit and share a cup of coffee with Lou.

  When we awakened the next morning the ground was covered with snow. I won't pretend it didn't give me a bit of a start. I had so hoped. But I dismissed the thought. Surely a car could be driven in a few inches of snow.

  When Matilda came downstairs, she didn't seem to be able to dismiss the snow quite as easily.

  "Oh, no-o;' she wailed. "What will we do? What will we do, Josh? The snow is already here, but the motor car isn't! Oh-h-h" She crossed to the window, swept back Mary's carefully ironed white ruffled curtain and groaned again. "We'll have to learn to drive it in the snow. It would have been so much easier-"

  "Guess there's no problem;" I was quick to cut in. "We don't have the car yet anyway."

  "But it'll be here just any day now and the snow..

  But the snow had all disappeared by noon, and two days later the Ford arrived. I thought I had prepared myself for the role of motor-car owner, but when the news reached me I felt a thrill go all through my body. This was followed by a cold sweat. My hands got sticky and my mouth dry and my knees fairly shook with excitement-and just a little fear.

  We hitched up the team, and Grandpa and Uncle Charlie drove with me on into town. I couldn't just ride Chester to pick the car up because I needed to drive it back.

  We drove right up to Mr. Hickson's, and I pretended nonchalance as I stepped into his office and said I was there to pick up the car. I had the rest of the payment in my coat pocket, pinned in so I wouldn't accidentally lose it. I began to carefully unpin the coat in order to get at my money, but Mr. Hickson rushed right on by me, calling as he went, "It's this way, Josh, an' she's a beaut! Come on in an' git a look at er"

  I followed, with Grandpa and Uncle Charlie right on my heels.

  She was a beaut all right. Never had I seen so much shiny metal. There she stood, black paint gleaming and window glass sparkling. I slowly sucked in my breath. She was beautiful!

  I was quite familiar with the few motor cars on our town streets. Several of them were quite fancy, too, but to me this Ford-this car that was minewas the nicest of the lot.

  I moved forward and ran a hand over the shiny fender. Mr. Hickson opened a door.

  "An' look in here;' he urged. "See them leather seats. Looka that. Looka that."

  I moved to look. Sure enough, leather seats-finest black leather one ever saw. I let out the breath I had seemed to be holding. I heard Uncle Charlie say something to Grandpa and Grandpa answer, "Well, whoo-ee!" and I wheeled to look at them. Both of them were grinning. Standin' there a gazin' at that car like they've never seen nothin' like it before, I chuckled to myself.

  "Whoo-ee;' said Grandpa again, and he lifted a hand to stroke the black leather. Uncle Charlie's mustache was twitching. He reached out one gnarled hand to touch the shining glass of the window. For a moment I wondered if there could ever be anything more exciting in life than this-standing there getting a good look at your first car and brand new at that.

 
I came back down to earth in time to hear Mr. Hickson saying, "Just a few things to take care of, an' you can drive her right on out of here"

  Mr. Hickson was moving back toward his little office, and I turned to follow, though I was feeling a moment of panic. I could "drive her right on out;' said Mr. Hickson. But surely Mr. Hickson knew I had never driven a car before. Surely he wouldn't just put me in it and expect-

  "Ya got some 'struction papers with this here new Ford?" Grandpa was asking Mr. Hickson very matter-of-factly, and I knew I should have asked the question.

  "Of course. Of course;' Mr. Hickson answered, nodding his head vigorously. "Everything thet ya need to know is right in here in the office:"

  Whew! Maybe I wouldn't embarrass myself after all.

  "Joe Hess, down the street, has got him a Ford. Much like this one, only not as new," Mr. Hickson was saying. "He'd be glad to come on over here and take josh for his first run:"

  "Thet'd be good. Real good;' Grandpa agreed. Then added quickly, "Just till he gets the hang of it. He'll catch on real quick. Been driving thet big of tractor now fer quite a spell."

  Mr. Hickson nodded his head again. "I'll send Mickey right over fer Joe;' and making good on his word he called a young fellow from the back room and sent him on his way.

  For some reason the rest of them seemed to have forgotten that I was the buyer. Grandpa and Mr. Hickson were busy making plans without me. But they soon turned back to me when it came time for the final payment to be made. I pulled the money from my pocket and Mr. Hickson counted it out.

  "Right;" he said. "Just right."

  That was no news to me. I had checked the money out carefully-three times-before I left home.