Decoding Darkness

by Marissa Farrar

  “As expected. No surprises. He’s in good hands now, though I still feel bad for abandoning him.”

  Lorcan’s tone grew hard. “He was working for Hollan, princess. Don’t forget that.”

  Alex spoke from behind. “Lorcan is right. Your heart is too big, Darc. He was brought in to hurt you. You did everything you could for him, considering.”

  I nodded and sat back in my seat. I understood their point of view, but they hadn’t been in that cell with me when Stewart had tried to attack me. At least Stewart was dead. Plenty of things had gone wrong in the past twenty-four hours, but that wasn’t one of them. I’d shot the son of a bitch off a roof, and then Lorcan had finished the job for me. I thought I’d have been feeling even worse about all of this if Stewart had managed to walk away.

  Lorcan glanced over at me as he drove, one hand on the wheel. “Isaac wants to meet us on the outskirts of town. We need to dump this car, just in case.”

  “In case it’s got a tracker on it?” I asked.

  “Yeah, or if it might be recognized. The license plates might get reported or something, if Hollan is watching out for us.” He shrugged as he watched the road. “Either way, we’re better off getting out of it.”

  He was right. I didn’t want to be in something that belonged to Hollan, anyway.

  From the back seat, Alex called Isaac on his cell. I could only hear half the conversation. “Yeah, we’re heading that way now ... No, everything went fine ... We’ll see you in five.” He hung up.

  I kept checking behind us, half expecting to see cop cars chasing us, demanding to know more about what had happened to Otto, but everything remained quiet. Lorcan navigated the streets, driving neither too fast nor too slow.

  Eventually, we reached the place where we were due to meet the others. The van was already there, parked on the street, but I didn’t see any sign of the guys. I hoped they’d be waiting inside.

  Lorcan pulled over, and we climbed out of the car and ran to the van. The door slid open as we reached the vehicle, and we were greeted by hands pulling us inside.

  I smiled, pleased to see Isaac and Kingsley again. I looked to Clay, and my heart lifted with relief as I saw his eyes were open, and he was looking directly at me. He caught my eye, and his cheeks tweaked in a smile.

  I didn’t waste any more time, and climbed over the seats to get to him. “Oh, thank God, you’re awake.”

  He winced. “Yeah, but my head is fucking killing me.”

  My expression matched his, feeling his pain. “You got hit pretty hard.”

  “That son of a bitch.”

  I took his hand, big and warm, in mine. “Thank you, Clay. You’re crazy and should never have done it, but I appreciate you putting yourself on the line for me like that.”

  He gave a half smile, but I could tell from his eyes that he was still in pain, and that hurt my heart. “Hey, you did the same thing for me, from what I hear.”

  I squeezed his fingers. “Yeah, we looked out for each other.”

  “Too damn right.”

  His eyes slipped shut again, and his head rested back against the seat.

  Alex and Lorcan had joined us in the back, and Alex slid the door shut, encasing us inside the van. Isaac and Kingsley were both back in the front, Isaac behind the wheel.

  Lorcan dangled the keys for the car we’d taken from his fingers. “No point in making it any easier for Hollan to move, if he somehow does find it.”

  Isaac glanced over his shoulder at him and grinned. “Good thinking.”

  Isaac pulled the car away from the curb, and we were on the road again, heading back toward base. It was going to be a good couple of hours of travel, but I didn’t mind. I felt safe again, being with all of my guys, and, if it wasn’t for Aunt Sarah, and knowing I needed to deliver the coordinates of the other bases to Devlin, I’d have quite happily spent the rest of my life just traveling around with them all.

  Still holding Clay’s hand. I allowed my eyes to slip shut, and finally get some rest.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  The change in motion of the van as it drew to a halt woke me from my doze.

  I rubbed the heel of my hand over my eyes, trapping a yawn tight in my jaw, and then leaned forward to try to get an idea of where we were. Forests rose all around us, and a dirt track led up the hill. Broken, rusted pieces of machinery lay abandoned around the edges.

  We were back where we’d taken the van from—how many days ago? I calculated in my head, and the events of the past few days appeared as a timeline in front of my eyes, heading toward my left and vanishing behind me. Two days ago? Was that how long it had been? It felt like a lifetime.

  Isaac had parked the van in much the same spot we’d taken it from when we’d gone to look for my aunt.

  My stomach churned with nerves at the thought of how Devlin would react to finding out Hollan had gotten hold of the coordinates. I hoped he’d take it the same way Isaac had, seeing the positive of what had happened, instead of focusing on the negative. But it was a lot to ask. The negative was huge, after all, and would have massive repercussions. If I’d managed to keep the coordinates from Hollan, this would be over now, and they wouldn’t need to warn the other bases. Instead, Hollan getting away would have an effect like a line of playing cards lined up against each other, the first one toppled over.

  I assumed Isaac had already told Devlin what had happened via the phone, so at least he would have had a couple of hours to let things sink in. Unless he’d spent the time getting madder, of course. It could have been worse. I could have not seen the coordinates, and Clay could be dead. At least I’d be able to give him the coordinates, too. That was something. Devlin would be able to link back up to each of the bases, and they could figure out what they needed to do to protect against a possible attack from Hollan.

  “Isaac,” I said, leaning forward in my seat before we climbed out. “How much does Devlin know?”

  He looked to me, his head tilted to one side as he assessed me. I always felt as though he was seeing more of me than I was comfortable with. “All of it, Darcy. I didn’t have any choice.”

  “No, I get that.” I frowned. “How did he seem?”

  “As you’d expect. He’s not happy about Hollan, but he’s pleased we’re all still alive.”

  “And the coordinates?” I prompted.

  “He’s happy to have them back, too.” Isaac paused, considering me again. “He’s not going to punish you, or shout, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  I shrugged. “Not worried, just anticipating what might come, that’s all.”

  He gave me one of his rare smiles. “It’ll be okay, Darcy. We’re all here for you.”

  I returned his smile. “Thanks, Isaac.”

  He might act like the tough case in all of this, but deep down he cared about all of us, I could tell.

  The thought of seeing my aunt again also strangely made me nervous. I wasn’t sure how I felt. I should be mad at her for what she’d done, but I was perfectly aware I was capable of making plenty of my own mistakes and would want to be forgiven for them. I should treat her in the same way I hoped people would treat me.

  Though I was a city girl at heart, something inside me relaxed as I climbed out of the van, my feet hitting the dirt, and fresh air filling my lungs. Trees rustled their leaves around us, and birds tweeted at each other. It was hard to believe there was a whole community of people living beneath us.

  The guys jumped out around me. Kingsley and Alex helped Clay, one on either side of him, their arms around his waist and his arms slung around their necks. Alex, I assumed, had cleared the blood away from the side of Clay’s head, and I was relieved to see he was looking even more coherent. Seeing him in the metal room, after Hollan had hit him, had terrified me. The possibility of him having brain damage had flitted through my mind, and the thought of losing outgoing, fun-loving Clay in such a way was more than I could bring myself to think about. It would have been hard enough losing h
im, but watching such a bright light be dimmed to only a fraction of the man he’d been before would have been tortuous for everyone involved.

  Isaac looked around at us. “Everyone ready?”

  “Sure.” Kingsley nodded. “Devlin will see we did everything we could.”

  My heart pattered. Did everything we could, considering the circumstances? I was fully aware of how much I’d changed things by being involved, but it wasn’t as though it was something I’d been able to help. Perhaps I should never have insisted on bringing my aunt here, but, if I hadn’t, Hollan would have taken her anyway and forced my hand. I assumed she’d never told Hollan where this base was, or he’d have already sent people here. Not that it mattered now, anyway. This base would be one of the coordinates I now had stored in my head. Hollan would figure out that where we’d met him on the road had been near that particular set. He’d know we were here.

  I didn’t know how much time we had. Taking on a place like this would take coordination and time; it wouldn’t be something he’d rush into. I figured we had days rather than hours, but we’d underestimated how quickly they’d be getting help to Hollan back at the building where he’d held me, too. I didn’t want us to make the same mistake again. Devlin would know more. What would they do? Leave and find somewhere new to start again, or would they stay and fight?

  I guessed I’d find out soon enough.

  Together, we walked the same trail, through the gate with the sign warning trespassers to stay out, and up the hill and around the bend. The last time we’d been here, it had been Lorcan who was struggling, but this time Lorcan walked ahead. Now it was Clay who slowed us down—not that any of us minded. We’d all have done anything for Clay.

  As we rounded the bend, the tall, rusted machinery loomed overhead. I knew the routine now, and with that familiarity came comfort, my nerves giving way to a determination to make Devlin see I’d had no choice in doing what I had. The first time I’d been here, I hadn’t spotted any sign of what lay beneath ground, but now I could make out the flattened area where the elevator rose from to take us down to the base. In fact, the entire area beneath which the base was located was flatter than the rest of the topography, and there were no trees or pieces of machinery located on that patch.

  This time, Isaac didn’t need to do anything to call the elevator. Devlin was expecting us. Deep underground, a mechanical whirring started, and the car began to rise. I assumed they’d stepped up security at the base, not only since my aunt had left, but since they’d learned Hollan now had the coordinates. Would he try to take on this base first, knowing we were here? It felt as though we were both gambling with time. The longer he took to prepare to attack us, the longer we had to prepare for him to arrive.

  The elevator and the portable shell that housed the contraption had now fully emerged from the ground. I swallowed hard, my pulse racing and my stomach twisting itself into knots. After everything I’d been through, facing Devlin shouldn’t be the most frightening thing, but it was.

  The reason for my anxiety suddenly dawned on me. I was worried he would get the coordinates and send me back home. I was back to that same old thing again—this deep rooted fear of not being good enough. I wanted more than anything to be accepted as one of the guys, but I wasn’t sure I’d done enough to prove my worth. If only I’d managed to stop Hollan getting away, then maybe Devlin would have seen I was capable. But I’d failed at one major point, and I didn’t think it would be enough. Had that been my drive all along? Had I told myself I was doing this in my father’s name, or that I was doing it to save the lives of the other boys still training at all the bases across America, but my real reason was simply to prove I was worthy enough to remain a part of the guys’ lives?

  The doors slid open, and the others stepped forward, Kingsley and Alex still helping Clay. It would be a tight squeeze with all of us inside, but we’d managed before.

  “You okay, Darc?” Alex asked me with a frown.

  I realized I’d still been standing in the same spot while everyone else had stepped inside. Forcing a smile I said, “Yeah, fine.”

  I shook myself out of my stupor and walked forward to join the men. Isaac was at the panel to choose which level we ended up, and Lorcan was on the other side of Kingsley, Alex, and Clay. Isaac hit the button, and the doors slid shut, encasing us inside. I was hit with a sudden moment of claustrophobia, the memory of being trapped in the trunk of Hollan’s car flooding over me. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves, and then we were heading down. Claustrophobia in a place like the base wouldn’t be a good thing to have.

  The doors opened to reveal a number of serious looking men waiting for us. Devlin was at their head, and I recognized a couple of the others from the short amount of time I’d spent here before. Behind them, the security screens were playing images. Previously, only one had shown the outside area where we’d caught the elevator down, but now six of the screens were dedicated to the area of forest around the base. I saw the gate with the sign which we’d passed through, and the van we’d abandoned at the bottom of the hill. They were being more cautious now. They’d gone for god-knew how many years without needing to worry about their location being revealed, but now they’d needed to step things up by a substantial number of notches.

  As he’d done before, Devlin stepped forward and shook Isaac’s hand. “It’s good to see you all alive.”

  Alex interrupted, not giving Devlin a chance to welcome each of them individually. “I’m sorry, but we need to get Clay down to medical. He’s probably only suffering from a bad concussion, but he needs checking over.”

  Clay managed to lift his hand in a single wave. “Sorry ... missing out ... debrief.” The words were an effort for him, and I wanted to rush to him, to try to help in some way, though I was completely out of my depth. He was with Alex, and Alex would know what to do. Clay managed a grin, even though he was clearly still in pain. I didn’t feel I’d had the chance to thank him properly for what he’d done, but I figured he’d appreciate my thanks far more when he was feeling himself again.

  Both Alex and Kingsley retreated into the elevator, leaving me with Isaac on one side, and Lorcan on the other. I appreciated having both guys with me. Isaac had reassured me that he’d have my back, and I hoped he’d stick by his word.

  Isaac nodded. “Thank you, Devlin. It was a close call.”

  “So I understand.” His gaze moved to me, and I tried not to shrink beneath it. I hated that he had this effect on me, as though he made me feel younger than I was—a child again in an adult’s body. “I’m sorry Hollan got away.”

  My teeth dug into my lower lip, and I forced myself to hold his gaze, though my natural instinct was to drop it to the floor. “Me, too. I’m sorry I failed everyone.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You have the coordinates?”

  “Yes. I saw them when I was downloading them to a second memory stick for Hollan.” Admitting I’d done such a thing made me feel wretched, as though I’d betrayed them by doing so.

  “Then it wasn’t a total failure,” he said, surprising me. “And it wasn’t your job, either. You may not have returned with the memory stick, but you have the information the stick contained, so, as long as you remembered it correctly, that’s as good as the original.”

  I allowed my heart to lift, and I nodded. “Yes, I’ve remembered it correctly. My synesthesia means I can see the coordinates just by thinking about them.”

  “You took some risks to get them.” He held me in his gaze.

  “I felt the risks were worth it.”

  “Making big decisions without first consulting with your team isn’t something we look favorably upon here.”

  “But I’m not exactly considered a part of the team, am I?” Where was he going with this? “It’s not as though I was trained here, like the others.”

  “You’ve got to quit with the self-sacrifice, Darcy. If you’re going to get anywhere in this job, you need to learn how to hold back your emotions and mak
e sensible decisions.”

  I frowned stubbornly. “My self-sacrifice saved Clay, didn’t it? And you have the locations of the other bases, even if the memory stick no longer exists.”

  “Yes, we do, but so does Hollan.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry.”

  He lifted a hand to stop me. “This isn’t all on you, Darcy. In fact, none of it should be on you.” He looked to Isaac. “What happened out there?”

  Isaac stood straighter, and his hands hooked each other behind his body, as though he was military. “He was ready for us. The building he was in was fortified. Darcy knew she had a way in because of the code, and she took it. She was brave, and maybe a little reckless, but if she hadn’t been, Clay would be dead right now.”

  “If she hadn’t handed herself over to Hollan in the first place, none of that would have happened.”

  “And we’d still be no closer to the memory stick, and her aunt would most likely be dead.”

  The mention of my aunt made me realize I hadn’t seen her yet.

  “Where is Sarah?” I asked, not wanting to interrupt, but needing to know.

  “She’s safe,” Devlin said. “She’s downstairs, in the living quarters. The boys—especially the younger ones—have enjoyed having a motherly figure around.”

  “Did she apologize for what she did?”

  He nodded. “Many times over.”

  “Can I see her?”

  “Yes, of course. But first we need one thing from you.”

  He didn’t need to say it. The coordinates.

  He lifted a pen and pad of paper and handed them to me. I didn’t hesitate, writing each of the numbers down in the order I’d seen them. I finished my final scrawl on the paper and placed the pen down.

  “What will happen now?” I asked.

  “We’ll need to send teams out to each of the locations the coordinates reveal, and hope we get there before Hollan sends his men in.”

  I wondered if one of those teams would be Isaac and the others, and what would happen to me when they left.