“Matthew, stop making a scene. You’re talking about my relationship with Monica like you give a fuck about it. You don’t. You don’t have an idea how it’s like to have a relationship, because you’re a selfish jerk and that’s why you’re even talking about this in the first place. You don’t want me to go because I’m your bro, and I’m the only one who accepts you the way you are. Maybe Rick does too,” he paused and Rick nodded and I glared at him for agreeing with him. “But it’s not about my relationship with Monica. So stop this crap.”
“Okay, but I do think she… Eh, who cares, Emma’s taking care of her,” I said and Ben nodded. “Of course I don’t want you to go, how could I? I moved here to be close to my bro.”
“Seriously?” Ben asked in disbelief and I nodded fiercely. “You moved here for Emma,” he said then took a glance at Rick, whose eyes widened. “It was a complete coincidence the fact that I was here and that I actually knew her. It’s all about you and I think it’s fucked up. You need to accept that we’ve grown up and you have your thing here.”
“No, wait, what do you mean he,” Rick said pointing at me, “moved here for my sister?”
“This is a completely different story,” Ben sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Matt, you have to understand it. Plus, I’m not dying! You could visit all the time. I heard there are a lot of hot chicks in New York. You should’ve known better, you’ve been there. So how are they?”
“I don’t know, I only thought about…” I started then remembered Emma didn’t want us to tell about it yet and maybe I would’ve told Ben about it if Rick wasn’t here.
Ben seemed to notice that though, he was the smartest man I’ve ever met and he just nodded and a smile appeared on his face. It was weird though, I would’ve bet he would make such a scene about it.
“So nothing I say is gonna change your mind, man?”
“Nope. I’m sure about this. Monica understood it better than you. You’re so immature, Matt…”
“Yeah, I do what I can,” I smirked and laughed.
*
It’s been almost a week since Ben left and there was nothing I hated more. I’ve been down for a while now, nothing seemed to make it right, not even Emma, who was really trying. I acted like a complete jerk to her, I avoided her and we barely spent any time together. And when we did, I always ended up saying something stupid and she always left before things would get worse.
I guess she was starting to get sick of this situation because now she was avoiding me, too.
At office things were going pretty awful, everyone was stressed because was the end of the month and it usually is like this because everyone has a lot of duties, especially me and I couldn’t just skip them like the rest of the month.
“Ems,” I said as I leaned onto her desk with a smile on my lips and noticed everyone was staring at me. The girls I mean. “God, could they be any more obvious?” I complained rolling my eyes.
“Yeah, they’re really smooth,” Emma commented and I noticed in her voice she was actually bothered by this.
“Come to my office for a while, okay?” I said and she nodded and walked towards my office.
“I just hate them, you know!” Emma snapped when I closed the door and I stared at her in surprise. “Don’t look at me like that, you have no idea how it’s like to hear everyone whispering around just how hot you are and that you’re actually a jerk and…”
“And someone’s jealous?” I asked with a smirk as I wrapped my hand around her.
“I’m not jealous. I’m… bothered.”
“You shouldn’t be. They’re just stupid,” I replied with a shrug and Emma glared at me. “Okay, they’re normal people and bla bla, better now?” I asked and she laughed and I leaned and kissed her and she pulled away a second after.
“No, it’s not cool, you know? I shouldn’t be listening to everyone saying all those things about you. It’s weird hearing someone say that about your boyfriend in front of you, you know?”
“That sounds so cool!” I said without thinking and she raised an eyebrow. “You said… I was your boyfriend,” I said with a smile and she blushed. “That’s so cute, Ems,” I said and kissed her. “I like the sound of it,” I continued and she smiled shyly.
“I like it too, but seriously, Matthew, you’re a total jerk,” she said as she shook her head. “Look at all of them, crazy about you. How do you even do that?” she asked with an uncomfortable laugh.
“Part of my personal charm, Ems,” I replied with my signature-smirk.
“Yeah, sure. Did you sleep with everyone here?” she asked and took a step back.
“Um…” I looked at her and tried to figure it out if she really wanted me to answer that.
I mean, girls are really weird when it comes to this. They’re all asking tricky questions and they expect you to answer the way they want you to, and I hate this. I knew Emma wasn’t like this, because for Christ’s sake, she’s known me for five years and she knows really well I haven’t been a saint. So if she didn’t want me to say it, why would she ask that?
She raised an eyebrow, placing her right hand on her hip, waiting patiently.
“Well… Yeah, except…” I took a few moments to think about it. “Yeah, everyone except you. Oh, no, wait, did that too,” I said with a smirk.
I had no idea what happened next nor I noticed when her hand slapped my right cheek and she pushed me away and walked past by and slammed my office door.
Fuck, I’m stupid.
Chapter 24
Wondering
~*~ Emma West ~*~
I had no idea where to go and I couldn’t stay at the office so I went to see Gabrielle. She was the only one who was most likely to be home in a work day, because she only had to work when Jensen had something important to do.
When I finally got a cab I thought I exaggerated. I knew Matt better to know he is really bad at words and he’s always that arrogant and that never bothered me before.
Yeah, but we’re dating now.
Still, that doesn’t allow me to act like that, right? After all I couldn’t afford to lose it all.
The fact is we’re walking on fire right now, because it’s either all or nothing, and it’s exhausting. I have to think more about it and try to act differently, even though I’m not sure that’s how everything is supposed to work.
Why can’t I find a book where they say the do’s and don’ts when you’re dating your best friend? Should be a book called “Date your best friend: tips” or something like that. I’d appreciate it.
I knocked on Gabrielle’s door trying not to think about Matt anymore. I’ll talk to him tonight or something. Then I remembered Ben left a few weeks ago and he was sad about it and now I wasn’t there for him and I felt bad.
“Hey!” Gabrielle greeted and I tried to smile. “What happened?” she asked as she invited me in.
“Matt and I had an argument…” I said with a shrug.
“Oh. Well, you do that pretty often, right? It’s not a big deal,” she said as she handed me a glass of water and I noticed she was all dressed up.
“Goin’ anywhere?”
“Nope. Shia was supposed to come pick me up about half an hour ago,” she said and sighed. “Of course he didn’t come,” she added with a bitter smile. “It doesn’t matter. I’m starting to get sick of this.”
“Dating a celebrity isn’t really a dream, right?”
“Yeah. I don’t know how they do it. They’re awful. I mean, Shia is. He barely calls, he wants to see me according to his time table… It’s perfect!”
“What about Jensen?”
“There’s nothing about Jensen,” Gabrielle glared at me and I smiled. “So… Matt?”
“No, we can’t talk about Matt because we’re talking about Jensen.”
“The talk about Jensen’s over. Matt?”
“Jensen.”
“Matt.”
“Jensen,” I insis
ted and she laughed.
“There’s nothing about Jensen!” she said again and rolled her eyes. “He’s just… we work together and we get along fine, because he’s awesome. Happy?”
“I already know you two get along fine, and that he’s awesome. I need something more.”
“If you tell me about Matt,” she said.
“You say it first and I’ll decide if the information is worth it,” I replied and Gabrielle laughed as she ran a hand through her red hair.
“I do like the attention and everything, but I’m still dating Shia, even though he’s kind of a jerk, but I’m… used to that, you know? And he’s dating Danneel, so there’s nothing much.”
“But you don’t love Shia anymore.”
“So what? It doesn’t actually matter.”
“Yes, it does.”
“I can’t get hurt this way,” Gaby replied with a shrug and I nodded. “Plus, it’s not like Shia and I don’t have fun when we go out… But lately we’ve barely seen each other. He invited me to the premiere of his movie,” she said with a smile. “And I know Jensen was invited too, so…”
“That’d be weird, right? He’s going with Danneel?”
“No idea. I don’t want to stop seeing Shia, because I like him and we get along okay. And I won’t break up with him for Jensen, because Jensen’s dating Danneel. The end.”
“But that’s not cute…”
“Life’s not cute, Emma. So tell me about Matt and stop insisting for me to go out with Jensen.”
“I could ship you!”
“Emma, get over it. Life’s not a fairytale. Tell me about Matt.”
“We… Are…” I started and sighed.
“You are?”
“Somehow… dating?” I said and Gabrielle’s eyes widened and she smiled.
“OH MY GOD!” she yelled as she hugged me. “Now I can ship you!” she said and I laughed. “Finally! I thought I’d never get to see this day. So? What happened?”
“We had this thing… And I guess I overreacted. I had no idea what should I do. I didn’t even say that to anyone else but you.”
“Oh, I’m the first one to know!” she said excited. “Monica would totally go insane if she heard!”
“I know, but Ben left and…”
“Oh. Yeah. That’s true,” she sighed. “Let’s go out and have fun, okay? And stop worrying about Matt, Ems, everything will be fine. You’re Emmatt, for Christ’s sake!” she said and laughed.
“Yeah, whatever,” I replied laughing.
“Seriously. You shouldn’t talk to him now, you know? So… Wait till tonight and we’ll have fun meanwhile,” she said as she ran a hand through her hair. “Agreed?”
“Yeah,” I said and smiled and she nodded happily.
*
We started walking around the beach and everything was so calming, the March sun was so bright and warm and everything was so different from New York. I thought about Ben and how he would handle the cold out there. I know yesterday was snowing and I couldn’t picture Ben in a snowing city.
“Hey, have you talked to Monica recently?” I asked Gabrielle and she shook her head.
“Look, she needs time. I stayed with her this weekend and she’s a mess… Although I really think it’d cheer her up if she knew you’re dating Matt. I mean, it’s amazing!”
“Yeah, especially that I have no clue how should I act around him now.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I know I said we should forget about him for a while…”
“Yeah…”
We walked in silence for a while until we were interrupted by my ringtone. My hands trembled until I reached it in my purse and I was so excited to know that Matt finally called until I saw that my caller ID said it was…
“Hey, Rick!” I said with a false excitement. “How are you? Oh, I was on the beach with Gabs. Wanna come? Would be okay?” I asked Gabrielle and she nodded with a smile. “Yeah, we’ll be here in half an hour. Nice. Bye.”
“Nice. I haven’t seen Rick in a few days. How’s everything with him?”
“Oh, he’s way too excited. Matt hates him,” I said with a smile. “You should see them, since Ben left Matt hasn’t said anything to Rick and Rick is on cloud nine now,” I said and Gabrielle laughed.
“Because of Monica? She said he was there to see how she is.”
“Really?” I asked and Gaby nodded. “He’s unbelievable.”
“He likes her, okay? And I think they’d be great. I know Ben was perfect for Monica, but Ben’s not here anymore and it shows that your brother is into her. He never dated anyone since he got here, right? Nothing serious, anyway. Maybe he is serious about her.”
“Yes, but I can’t picture this. Monica and Rick. Rick’s my brother, okay? I can’t actually picture him with anyone for good.”
“I am so curious to see his reaction when you’ll tell him you’re dating Matt. He’s way too protective with you, you know that, right?”
“Yeah, but he likes Matt. Plus he knows about what happened on Prom and he…”
“Wait, what? What happened on Prom? Besides the fact that he was your hot date and you were so close that night and…What didn’t you tell me, Emma West?” Gabrielle scolded me.
“Um… Nothing, just…”
“You’re a bad liar. So bad! So what happened? Tell me, tell me. Otherwise I’ll go ask Mr. Nicholls and I’m quite sure that’d be a little uncomfortable for the both of you,” she assured me.
“Gabrielle…”
“Oh my God!” she screamed and I rolled my eyes. “So you hooked up with Matt on Prom’s night?” she asked. “Why didn’t you say anything?” she yelled at me. “I always thought you guys should’ve dated back then… Why didn’t you? Matt was a jerk, right? Don’t tell me he…”
“I said we shouldn’t,” I cut her off and her eyes widened. “I knew nothing about him back then, okay?”
“So? You just… took the easy way? Instead of dating Saint Swintin’s hottest guy ever? Emma, are you stupid?” she asked and I sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you had your reasons. But… then again, why didn’t you two date when he moved here?”
“I was dating Morgan.”
“Oh, Morgue… Yeah, sure. And then Clingy Stacy came along… And the other ones, right?”
“Yeah.”
Gabrielle sat on the warm sand and I sat next to her. The view of the Pacific was just perfect. I couldn’t picture a place better than this.
“Yeah, but you’re dating now,” Gabrielle said with excitement in her eyes. “Oh, I’m so happy for you!” she said as she hugged me.
“You could date Jensen now. You have my permission,” I said and she laughed.
“Man, if he was here now…” she started and I laughed.
“I’m here, babe,” Rick said as she said next to her. “So you were talking about me, huh?” He asked with an eyebrow raised and Gaby and I started laughing. “Yeah, you can laugh all you want, we all know the truth. But, my beautiful Gabrielle, my heart is taken by…”
“Monica, I know don’t worry, I’ll get over it,” Gabrielle said with a fake sadness.
“I know you will,” he said as he patted her back. “You have Shia, right? He’ll be good enough to make you forget your crush on me. But then again, he’s not as hot or charismatic…”
“I know, don’t make it harder,” Gabrielle whispered and I started laughing.
“But we can still be friends, right, Gabs?” Rick asked and she nodded as she placed her head on his shoulder and he laughed.
The rest of the day passed fast, especially having Gabrielle and Richard teasing each other. I never realized they got on so well, and they were hilarious.
After spending the entire day with Gabrielle and Rick I decided to wait for Matt at home, even though I was a little surprised he hasn’t called at all. I mean, I have no idea what I should, but somehow I was relying on him to do the hard work. Considering that I had no id
ea how I should work with that. That meaning our relationship.
While trying to get a cab I thought I should visit Monica, because surely she was feeling worse than I was. After a few minutes a yellow cab showed up and I gave him my former address and five minutes after I was outside of the building I knew so well. I suppressed a smile and remembered Matt’s first night here in Los Angeles when he walked be home and then called me afterwards because he had no idea where Ben’s place was and we talked for almost 15 minutes while I kept making fun of him.
I knocked on Monica’s door and leaned onto the door frame waiting for Monica to answer. She should be home, because she didn’t say anything to any of us and no one was at Destiny’s tonight and knowing Monica she wouldn’t go anywhere alone, so she was supposed to be home. But she wasn’t answering. I knocked again for a few minutes, tried to call her and still no answer. Obviously I was worried about her, but she needed time to get over this by herself. This was the only way.
So I went home, took a quick shower and sat on the couch wondering why Matt wasn’t home yet. It was past 8 and he usually would finish his work by now. I turned on the TV, but my mind wondered around, forbidding me to concentrate on anything else but Matt. I wondered if this was the best thing for us, dating I mean. I know this was so complicated, because it’d ruin everything and I couldn’t lose him. I preferred having Matt as a friend than not having Matt at all.
But how could I live without the answers I longed for so long?
I wanted to know if he felt the same way, I want to know if this could be more than friendship, because for a few weeks I believed it could be, but right now, after having this argument I had no idea. I could risk losing everything just because I couldn’t control myself around him.
Somehow I wanted to work this out, because it was the thing I’ve wanted most in the last few years, even though I never allowed myself to acknowledge that, but somehow I knew this could turn out bad. And I never was the person who’d take chances or anything. I know, life’s about taking chances and risking everything, but at the end of the day is it really worth it?
Perfect Match Page 25
