New School, New Me!
Page 1
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Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Klein, J.M.
Title: New school, new me! / J.M. Klein.
Description: New York : West 44, 2019. |
Series: The totally secret diary of Dani D.
Identifiers: ISBN 9781538381953 (pbk.) | ISBN 9781538381960 (library bound) | ISBN 9781538382981 (ebook) Subjects: LCSH: Schools-Juvenile fiction. | Self-confidence in children- Juvenile fiction. | Diaries-Juvenile fiction. | Friendship--Juvenile fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.K545 Ne 2019 | DDC [E]--dc23
First Edition
Published in 2019 by
Enslow Publishing LLC
101 West 23rd Street, Suite #240
New York, NY 10011
Copyright © 2019 Enslow Publishing LLC
Editor: Theresa Emminizer Designer: Seth Hughes
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer.
Printed in the United States of America
CPSIA compliance information: Batch #CS18W44: For further information contact Enslow Publishing LLC, New York, New York at 1-800-542-2595.
Sunday night, November 4
My dad says I am the bravest girl he knows.
That used to be true.
Last summer, I went down the tallest waterpark slide. Three times. Emily Grace would only go down the smallest. Also, I tried mint ice cream. Emily Grace said it looked like green goo. And I passed Ben Jenkins a note during science. Emily Grace wouldn’t even talk to him.
But now I know I’m not the bravest girl. I think maybe I was only ever braver than Emily Grace.
Mom says secrets have a way of getting out—especially when you try to keep them to yourself. That's why I’m writing my secret down here. So it cant get out. Mo one can know.
Here is my secret. I am not brave. I'm starting a new school tomorrow, and I am scared. I can't even be braver than Emily Grace. My best friend is now five whole hours away.
This is a BIG problem. Dad can't find out about this. I know he would be disappointed in me. My dad is a police officer. He deals with bad guys and car accidents and everything. He's nothing but brave.
I wish Dad could hug me. I wish he could tell me everything will be all right. I wish he could make extra chocolaty brownies with me. But he can't even do that.
My dad is also five hours away.
"This is going to be a good thing,” Mom said after dinner tonight. We were sitting in my grandparents' living room. "Really, Dani. Oak Grove Middle School is a better school than your old school. You could join so many different clubs. and it's twice as big as your old school. You’ll have no problem making new friends."
Mom didn't get it. Twice as many students? That's THE ENTIRE PROBLEM. How am I supposed to make friends? School started two months ago. Everyone has already picked their friends. They already know where to sit at lunch.
I will be the only new girl.
I knew everyone at my old school. Emily Grace and I have been best friends forever. I met her in second grade! and no one cared if I got sad about my parents. Or if I did something silly or dumb. Jasmine and kayla even thought I was funny.
My friends back home liked me.
Mom drove me by the new school yesterday. All the kids there seemed so much cooler than me. It was the way they were dressed. It was the way they stood. It was the way they all hung out in groups.
I am not cool. And I know it.
Later, I asked Mom, "Can't we just go back home? Please?”
Mom sighed and said, "Dani, we've talked about this.”
I got up and went to the kitchen. I asked Grandma if I could make extra chocolaty brownies while video chatting with Dad. But Grandma said no. She had just cleaned the kitchen. (Grandma has always just cleaned the kitchen. Her kitchen is the cleanest kitchen I have ever seen.) And she told me I should only video chat my dad from my bedroom.
“Your mom needs space right now, Dani,” she said.
And then she frowned.
Grandma frowns a lot now that Mom and I live here.
Grandpa does, too.
I went back to my new bedroom. But I didn't call Dad. I started writing in this diary. Dad gave it to me when Mom and I moved. I'm going to write down everything that I can’t tell anyone. Everything in this diary is a total secret.
My parents are “taking a break.” They might even get a divorce split up. I’m not supposed to visit my dad until next summer. I won’t see Emily Grace for seven months.
I am on my own.
I have to make friends right away.
I have to pretend to be cool at my new school tomorrow. I have to pretend that I’m happy. That I have no worries. I was kind of dorky at my old school. NO ONE CAN KNOW THAT.
It’s a new school. So I will have to be a new me.
Monday, November 5
I told a big lie today.
I didn't mean to. I know lying is bad. It just sort of...happened.
My first day at school started REALLY bad.
First, I wore the wrong clothes.
My clothes fit in at my old school. My bright green skirt is just like Emily Grace's yellow one. and the purple polka dots on my shirt match my friend Kayla's backpack.
All the kids at Oak Grove Middle School wear dark colors. Navy. Black. and lots and lots of gray. Everyone wears jeans. Not one person was in a skirt like me.
Then the school counselor took a really long time giving me a tour. I was late to first period. All the kids looked up when I walked in.
"This is Dani,” the counselor said. "Dani, this is Mrs. West."
Mrs. West is my new math teacher. But she didn't say anything about math. She frowned. "We already have a Danny in the class.”
And then a boy in the back of the room said in a loud voice, "I’m not sharing a name WITH A GIRL.”
And the entire class laughed!
Mrs. West hushed everyone. "Don't be silly.
You can both keep your name.”
She turned to me. "Dani, what's your last name?"
My last name is Donaldson. I told her that.
"Perfect!” Mrs. West said. "We will call you
Dani D. And Danny Morris, you can be Danny M."
It was NOT perfect. At least she didn't make me go by Danielle. Mom only uses my full name when I'm in trouble. But it's not fair that I have to share my name with Danny M. He is so ANNOYING. He spent the rest of the class getting other kids to laugh at me.
"What does the D stand for, Dani D.?" he said. "Dani Dork?" And then he laughed.
That was not going to help me make friends.
Danny M. was in the rest of my classes. So I am Dani D. in those classes, too.
I pretended it didn't bother me. I didn't want everyone to think I'm a crybaby. It's the same reason I can't talk about my parents. A couple of the kids were nice to me. Rachel from my Social Studies class let me sit next to her at lunch. But it was not like at home. No one asked about my weekend. No one talked to me about who got voted off on Dance For It!
I tried to eat my sandwich. It was hard to swallow.
But then three girls walked in to the cafeteria.
Everyone smiled at them. Or called their names. Or waved at them. Or tried to get them to sit next to them.
It was like they were movie stars.
I kind of saw why these girls were popular. They walked like nothing bothered them. And they looked so happy. The girl in the middle had this huge smile—like today was the best day ever.
"Who are they?"
I asked Rachel.
“Oh, that’s Hailey,” Rachel said. She pointed to the girl in the middle. Hailey is the girl with the big smile. “And that’s Tasha. And that’s Priya. They are all in drama club. Hailey is super talented. She gets the lead in every school play. And Tasha and Priya are in all the plays, too. Everyone likes them.”
And here is where I lied.
“Oh, that’s cool,” I said. I said it like I didn’t care. But I did care. “I used to be in all the plays at my old school, too.”
"Really?" another girl at my table asked. "You were in drama club?"
"Oh, yeah," I said.
Here is the truth. I don’t even know if my old school had a drama club. Maybe it did? I never asked.
“Were you good at it?” the girl asked. “Were you the lead in plays?”
“Oh, yeah,” I said. “All the time.”
Here is the truth. I've never been in a play before.
But I let them all think it. I let them all think that I used to be a drama club star. That I used to be popular.
"Wow, Dani D" Rachel said. "That's really cool."
I didn't even mind that Rachel called me Dani D. She said it like Dani D. was a cool person.
So the fact that I am not a drama club star now has to be a total secret.
Tuesday, November 6
Dad always makes plans for his job. He says it's important to know what you are going to do.
So I made a plan for how I would act at school today.
First, I got Mom to let me wear her nice black sweater.
She thought that was funny at first. She laughed and said, "Dani, it won't even fit you!”
It totally did fit me. And then Mom got all sad. She started talking about how I was “growing up so fast.” She kept hugging me. I was almost late for school.
Moms are weird sometimes.
When I got to school I stood outside the doors for a moment. I tried to picture the way Hailey walked. I tried to see how Tasha smiled. I tried to imagine what it felt like to be them.
It worked.
The bell rang. I walked into class just like Hailey does. Chin up. Head high. I smiled just like Tasha smiles. As big as I could.
And four girls smiled back at me.
I kept smiling all morning. One of the girls walked next to me on the way to science class. I didn’t tell her about my parents. I talked about rehearsing with drama club friends at my old school.
"That sounds like so much fun!” the girl said. And then she begged me to be her partner in class.
Even Danny M. didn't make fun of me. He ignored me. But he didn't make fun of me.
Before lunch, I hung out at the bulletin board by the theater. I tried to pretend I belonged there. I kept smiling. I waited.
And then Hailey and Tasha walked up to ME.
"You're Dani D., right?" Hailey asked. Hailey is super pretty. She has long eyelashes and braces with pink rubber bands.
I felt so special. Hailey had heard of me. I nodded. "You're Hailey, right?”
Hailey also looked happy that I knew her name. I see why now. Having someone know your name is pretty cool.
“We heard you like theater,” Tasha said. Tasha is tall and looks like a ballerina.
“I do!” I said. “I love theater. It’s so much fun.”
By that point, I was starting to even believe myself.
I told Hailey and Tasha about all the plays I was in at my old school. Well, I told them about the plays I was pretending I had been in. They got really excited.
"Were going to be doing a new show here soon," Tasha said. "We need more people. You should try out."
They kept talking to me. They laughed when I made a joke.
They asked me questions.
And then Hailey asked, ''Do you want to sit with us at lunch?"
YES!!! Yes, I wanted to sit with them at lunch!
Hailey and Tasha's lunch table was full of kids. And they all wanted to talk to me, too. Hailey is really nice. And Tasha is so much fun. I know they are both going to be my new best friends.
My plan worked.
I only thought of Emily Grace and my other friends from home like five times today. I only missed them a little. I didn't even care that I was pretending to be a new me.
I felt happy.
I wasn't worried about Mom and Dad. I wasn't sad. It was actually easy to smile.
It felt true. It felt like maybe I was a new me.
And who knows? Maybe I actually am a new me now. Maybe I really am Dani D.—the happy, popular girl. Maybe I'm the girl who has no worries.
Maybe.
Thursday, November 8
Today, I almost felt brave again.
Almost.
It's easier to be brave when you are not alone. It's easier to be brave when you have friends. And I have friends now. Or at least I'm making friends. Hailey and Tasha and Priya and the other girls aren't friends yet. I have to remember that. Because I almost messed up.
At lunch Priya complained about her little brother. He is only five. He likes to try on Priya's shoes. That means he usually ruins them.
"My parents are so annoying" Priya said. "They let my brother get away with everything."
Then she asked me if I had a little brother.
I said no.
Then Hailey told a funny story about her older sister.
"Do you have an older sister, Dani D.?” she asked.
I said no.
Then Tasha said her parents were annoying, too. "They never let me do anything. Are your parents annoying, Dani D.?”
"Yeah, totally annoying,” I said. That's true. They are VERV annoying. "Especially when they fight—”
I made myself stop talking. It was too late. Everyone at the table was staring at me. Hailey looked confused. Tasha looked worried. Priya looked mad that no one wanted to hear more about her brother.
So I laughed. It was a fake laugh. But it was a laugh. I said, “Especially when they fight over who gets the last piece of cake. Parents are so weird.”
Everyone else laughed, too. And Tasha told a funny story about her parents at Thanksgiving. I tried to get it together. I still can’t believe I almost gave myself away. I would have lost everything. No one wants to be friends with a sad girl who is worried about her parents. They only want to be friends with funny, popular me.
I hope no one remembers it tomorrow.
What if they do?
I CANT mess up again.
Oh! Hailey just texted me! I'm in my room writing this and she texted me!
She wants to know if I can come to a sleepover at her house. This weekend! All the girls from the lunch table are going to be there. I'll get to meet some girls I don't even know yet.
OMG! I can't believe it. She invited me to a sleepover.
This is amazing. I just asked Mom, and she says I can go. Well, at first she asked a MILLION questions. She keeps trying to get me to join this craft club at school. And they have a meeting on Friday.
"You loved making crafts with Emily Grace," Mom said. "You should try out craft club. You might make new friends."
I told Mom I WAS making friends.
She sighed. "I meant friends with people you have things in common with. Do you even like acting, Dani?"
I said yes, of course I did. And then I asked if she could let me buy a new pair of pajamas. (My old pajamas are too short. They look like something a little kid would wear.)
And Mom did NOT like that at all. "There's nothing wrong with your old pajamas" she said. ''Why are you trying so hard to impress these new friends? Is that why your hair looks different, too?"
My hair does MOT look different. I just put it back in a high ponytail. Like Hailey does. That's all.
But FINALLY — she said I could go!
This sleepover is going to be perfect. I’m going to make even more friends. All I have to do is keep acting the same way I do at school. I just need to be the new Dani D. I won't mention my family at all. I don’t even need
to be brave.
I only need to be like Tasha and Hailey.
Friday, November 9
Hailey's sleepover is the best party ever.
Her house is so much fun. Hailey's mom teaches theater at the college. She's really funny—and not in an embarrassing way. Hailey's family is all into theater. Her sister was even in a commercial. She got to stand in a pumpkin patch and tell people to come pick pumpkins. Hailey wants to be in movies someday. I think she will be.
I’m writing this in Hailey’s bathroom. (Even her bathroom is nice. Grandma’s bathroom has wallpaper with kittens on it. Hailey’s does not.) I had to take a break from being Dani D. Tasha asked me about my old school, and I forgot to talk about drama club. I almost told her about the crafts Emily Grace and I made.
That would have been a really, really big problem.
So now I am in the bathroom reminding myself—THIS IS A TOTAL SECRET. I can't tell anyone the truth!
Okay, I feel better now.
We've been watching movies. Before that, we danced in Hailey's living room. I love to dance. Hailey put on music, and I just started moving. Tasha thought it was great. She got up and danced with me. And then everyone danced.
I laughed so much my stomach hurts now.
Of course, that might also be because of all the popcorn and candy I ate during the movie.
Hailey wants to play games next. That will probably be Truth or Dare. I will have to pick dare, of course. I can't pick truth! So many bad things could happen.
Oh! Hailey just knocked on the door. I guess I’m taking too long in here.
“Are you coming, Dani D.?” she's asking. “We want to play improv games now."
Improv? That’s a funny word. I’ve never even heard of improv before. I asked Hailey what she meant, and she laughed.
"You know. Theater games," she said. ''Didn't you play improv at your old school?"
Uh-oh.
“Oh, yeah, of course we did!" I said. “I thought you meant something else."
I can't see her face. So I don't know if she believes me.
I hope she believes me.