Your Gravity: Part Three

by L. G. Castillo

  When the class was almost half over, there was murmuring coming from the back of the auditorium. Gianna, in her four-inch stilettos, sauntered down the aisle. I clenched my jaw as I watched her make her way to the row in front me. Before she sat in the empty seat next to her friend, Red, she turned and gave me a wicked smile.

  “Nicole,” Travis’s voice warned, his hand gripping my arm.

  I hadn’t even noticed that I was halfway out of my seat, my hands curled into fists.

  I let out a huff and turned my attention back to my laptop. I clacked at the keyboard so hard the desktop creaked, threatening to break with each letter I typed.

  “You’re killing your laptop with all that pounding,” Travis whispered.

  “That’s not all I’d like to kill.” My eyes bored a hole at the back of Gianna’s head.

  When the class was finally over, Jax gave me one last look. His eyes flicked to the department head, and he rushed out the back classroom door. The moment the department head, left Gianna spoke, looking at me as if to make sure I was listening.

  “Well, that was an interesting lecture,” Gianna said to Red. “I wonder why Cooper rushed out.”

  Red laughed. “Guess he didn’t like being watched by the boss.”

  “Cooper has to be watched. It’s for the welfare of the university’s students. Don’t you think, Nicole?” Her catlike eyes looked to me.

  “Jax . . . Professor Cooper is an excellent professor. He’s not the dangerous one,” I seethed.

  “Hmm, looks like I hit a sore spot. Or maybe Professor Cooper made it sore for you.”

  That was it. I reached over, my hand grabbing the first thing it touched, which just happened to be her hair.

  Yeah, I fight like a girl.

  “What are you doing?” she squealed.

  “Kicking your ass!”

  I yanked her hair again. Screeching, she slapped me opened handed. I dodged her lame attempts to bitch slap me but somehow she managed to claw my bare shoulder.

  I jerked back, growling. A crazy woman took over my body, and I lunged over the row of seats, tackling her to the ground.

  A crowd of students immediately surrounded us.

  “Cat fight!”

  “Crap! My cellphone is dead. Quick let me borrow yours.”

  “Someone call university security!”

  “Nicole, are you insane?” Travis lifted me off Gianna.

  “Let go of me!” I yelled as my hands slapped air.

  “She’s doing this on purpose. Do you want her to sue you too?”

  “I don’t care!”

  “Do it for Cooper,” he whispered furiously in my ear. “Everyone’s going to think that you and Cooper have something going on.”

  I froze. Travis was right.

  “Chillax, baby doll. It was only one night, and I was totally wasted,” he said loudly as he directed me out of the classroom. “Gianna was a bad lay anyway.”

  A few students laughed at Travis’s comments. He was covering up the scene, making everyone think that he’d slept with Gianna. She could deny it all she wanted, but no one was going to believe her over the university’s star quarterback, who also happened to have a reputation for sleeping with everything that moved.

  “I owe you one.” I squeezed his hand gratefully.

  Chapter Ten

  Beating the crap out of Gianna had not been a good idea, but it sure had felt good. It made things worse with Jax, though. The word about my fight with Gianna must’ve gotten back to him, because he hadn’t shown up at Jitters with his high school class. Lou was surprised when Jax didn’t come around the coffee shop for the third week in a row. I wasn’t. Jax was avoiding me. The only time I’d see him was in class. He swept in and out of the classroom, always under the department head’s watchful eye.

  Caroline laughed when I had called and told her what I’d done. She’d had flown back to Boston right after Jax kicked me out and was pissed that he didn’t tell her about it until after she’d left. Nothing she said to Jax could convince him that our relationship deserved a second chance. She called me daily, encouraging me not to give up on her stubborn brother.

  The only good thing that happened from the fight was that Gianna didn’t return to class. Travis managed to find out that she withdrew from class with special permission from the department head. It was almost impossible for a student to drop so close to the end of the semester, but somehow she managed it.

  Sinking into my seat, I watched Jax, his face somber, as he handed the final exam to Epstein and asked him to hand it out to the rest of the class.

  Look at me, Jax. Please, look at me. I stared at him as he stood frozen behind the lectern, keeping his eyes down.

  I couldn’t stand that we were in the same room and yet he was so far away. I’d even told Travis to sit on the opposite side of the auditorium, hoping that Jax would get the hint that there was nothing between Travis and me.

  “Best of luck to everyone,” Jax said as he scanned the classroom, intentionally avoiding the spot where I sat. “You may begin.”

  I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. This was it. After today, I wouldn’t see him again. I had no reason to. This was the only undergraduate course he taught. His other courses were limited to doctoral students.

  “Is everything okay, Ms. Ashford?”

  My heart melted with the sound of his soft voice. Lifting my eyes to meet his, I gazed into pools of blue. Grief unspoken reflected in those mesmerizing eyes.

  I wanted to tell him none of this was okay, and that I was not okay losing the love of my life. Instead, I took a deep breath and said, “Yes, Professor Cooper. I’m fine, just a bit nervous.”

  He smiled gently. “You’ll do fine.”

  A couple of students looked up from their exams. Curiously, they gazed from him and then to me.

  “As I’m sure all of you will,” he added quickly.

  I nodded and flipped the exam over. Jax’s voice floated through my mind. The professor encouraged me to do well, to reach my potential, and the young Jax had been enthralled by how smart I was and wanted to learn from me.

  Memories of our study sessions flitted through my mind. I had learned a lot, we both had. We had learned more than just chemistry. We had learned to love, to trust, to laugh. We had learned when to let go and when to hold on. And at the end of our time together, we had learned that time itself could not hold back love. Our love had been so strong that not even time could keep us apart. The only thing keeping us apart now was him.

  When I finished the exam and went up to the front to hand in my blue book, I felt that strong connection to him. It was there when I’d first bumped into him, both now and in the past. It had always been there and always would be. We were meant to be together. Why couldn’t he let me love him? I wasn’t afraid of all the reasons he gave as to why we shouldn’t try.

  He looked at me, his hand brushing mine as he took the paper. In his sad eyes, I could tell it was the same for him, that connection. He couldn’t hide the love he had for me; it was written all over his face.

  “How was it?” he asked.

  “Not as bad as I thought. I’m pretty sure I got most of the answers right.”

  “I’m sure you did. You’re an excellent student.”

  “Jax . . .”

  He sucked in a breath at the sound of his name. His lips parted slightly as he leaned forward.

  “Yo, Coop! I rocked the final.” Travis bounded up next to me. He elbowed my side, breaking the spell between us. “Ready, Nicole?”

  No, I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to say goodbye.

  I held on to Jax’s sapphire eyes, begging him to stay with me. Slowly, he disappeared behind the wall as he schooled his face into a mask of indifference.

  “You’re a great teacher, Ja—uh, Professor Cooper. I’ll miss—” I choked back the word I wanted to say. “I’ll miss this class.”

  His face softened, and his deep voice was a whisper that penetrated my hear
t, stabbing it to a death I feared I couldn’t recover from.

  “Goodbye, Ms. Ashford.”

  Chapter Eleven

  I sat near the fireplace, lost in thought as I watched the crackling red and orange flames dance. It was the first real cold I’d felt since I’d moved to Texas. Charlie was ecstatic that it was cold enough to use the fireplace. The cooler weather seemed to put everyone in a holiday mood. Charlie and Rainbow added to the Christmas lights that already lined the roof. Greg had dragged me to the local arts and crafts store and bought every single Christmas decoration they had in stock. The house was so full of Christmas cheer, we could’ve opened our own superstore.

  I guess they thought if I kept busy decorating the house and listening to “It’s Christmas Time in Texas” on an annoyingly continuous loop, I’d cheer up. Even Penny noticed the change in my mood. She seemed to stay away from me and kept herself in Greg’s room lately.

  “Is this a private reverie, or can I join you?”

  Charlie stood beside me, holding Penny in her arms.

  “Go ahead.” I patted the beanbag next to me.

  “I wanted to give you some space about the Jax situation, but you’ve been so down lately. I take it things didn’t go well, and he didn’t believe you.”

  I let out a breath. Sometimes I wished he didn’t believe me and just thought I was some crazy chick. Maybe then his rejection wouldn’t have hurt so much.

  “No, he believed me. He just didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”

  “I highly doubt that.” She smoothed Penny’s head.

  “I’d say him tossing me out the door was a pretty good indicator that he doesn’t want me in his life.”

  “I don’t buy it and neither should you.”

  Greg had said the same thing.

  “I wish I had your strength,” I said.

  “Who says you don’t? Why are you accepting his excuses of why you two shouldn’t be together?”

  “How did you know about . . . Greg,” I grumbled.

  “Greg’s worried about you. And he’s right, you know. They’re all just excuses. That shouldn’t stop you,” she said. “Do you love Jax?”

  I swallowed back a sob. “Very much so.”

  “Does he love you?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Yes, you do know,” she prodded.

  “He says he does, but if he does, how could he let me go so easily?”

  She set Penny down on the floor and took my hand in hers. I gazed into her intense brown eyes, so kind and wise.

  “Actions are much louder than words and hold more truth,” she said. “Think about it before you answer. Does he love you?”

  I turned back to the fire and gazed at the flickering light. Images of Jax flashed through my mind, his look, his touch, both Jax the boy and Jax the man. His eyes followed me everywhere. Every word he told me always made me feel like I was somebody. He pushed me to be better because he knew what I was capable of. I was only stopping myself. Even now, he pushed me out of his life because he thought I’d be better off without him, because he thought that my life was just beginning. He didn’t know that my life couldn’t start without him. He was my beginning.

  “Yes, he loves me,” I choked out the words.

  “Well, then. That’s all that you need. Now go knock some sense into him. Sometimes old folk like us need a good donk on the head.”

  I laughed. “I want to, but I’m not sure how.”

  “You’ll find a way. But not by playing games and—how did Greg put it?—‘bitch slapping skanks.’”

  My face reddened. “He told you that too, huh?”

  Even if it was Greg’s idea in the first place, I should’ve never listened to him after he’d had two bottles of wine.

  “You’re better than that, Nicole. Jax deserves truth and honesty as well as your love.”

  Penny clucked at her feet. “All right. All right,” she said. “I’ll let you out. But don’t complain about the cold.”

  Charlie was right. No more games. I had no clue how I was going to get him back, but I wasn’t going to quit now.

  “I’ll take her out. I’m on my way to Jitters.” I jumped up and opened the door, letting Penny out. “Charlie, how can you be so sure that I’ll find a way?”

  “You found a way to travel back in time to find him.”

  “That was an accident. It just happened.”

  She smiled and headed to the kitchen. “Are you sure about that?”

  * * *

  It was the last Saturday before the local high school let out for the holidays, and Jitters was busy with kids ordering hot cocoa and our peppermint mocha special. I kept watching the door, hoping that Jax would bring his high school class in for an end of the semester treat.

  I kept myself busy by wiping the tables and keeping the condiments stocked. I was about to change the CD to put on some Christmas music when the bell jingled, and I looked up excitedly.

  “Oh, it’s you,” I said to Greg and Travis.

  “Well, Merry Christmas to you too.” Greg frowned.

  “I’m sorry. Don’t mind me.” I pulled out a seat and encouraged them to sit. “So what happened? Share the deets.”

  Greg had been spending most of his time with Travis the past couple of weeks since they’d become an official couple. It had the campus in an uproar for a while. There were reporters everywhere speculating what this would mean for Travis’s career. Now that the semester was over, most of it had died down.

  “Should I tell her?” Greg asked Travis.

  “Go for it,” Travis said.

  “Travis came out to his parents.”

  “No way.” I playfully slapped Travis’s muscled bicep.

  “Way. And they’re totally cool with it.” Travis beamed.

  “Well, after your dad had a stiff drink.” Greg added.

  “More like five stiff drinks.” Travis said. “But Mom was just Mom. She cried when I introduced her to Greg.”

  “I’d cry too if I saw Greg looking like that.” I eyed the black sweater that clung to his buffed chest. In the center of it were two Christmas ornaments and the word “balls” written in cursive under it.

  “Hey, don’t hate the sweater. It was a gift.” Greg gave me a nudge, and I laughed.

  It felt good to get my mind off Jax for a while. I listened to Greg and Travis as they talked about their planned ski trip to Park City over the holidays. They kept pushing me to go with them. Greg even offered to cover the expense. I was about to tell him “no” for the twelfth time when I heard familiar voices enter the coffee shop.

  “Stop pushing, Trayvon!”

  “Yo, give me some of that peppermint mocha stuff, Lou.”

  “Oh, Yolanda, look they have peppermint sticks. You can get one for Mia.”

  They’re here!

  I excused myself from the table and went to the front to help Lou wait on Jax’s students. While I worked, I scanned the crowded coffee shop until I spotted him. There he was, sitting in the corner table with Caroline. My heart pounded frantically at the sight of the both of them, and I fought the urge to run over to their table. I missed them both so much.

  Jax was so sexy in a royal blue scarf. It made his sapphire eyes look even bluer. His face had that light smattering of stubble I loved and his cheeks were pinked from the wind. My eyes crawled over his body, drinking in every inch of him from the crisp white shirt underneath the navy sports jacket that molded tightly against his muscled arms and broad shoulders to the tailored dark wash jeans that hugged his narrow hips and thickly muscled thighs. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him.

  As I prepared everyone’s order, I stared at him, willing him to look at me, to acknowledge that I still existed to him.

  Caroline’s eyes darted to me every few minutes. Her facial expressions changed from worry whenever she looked at me to pissed off when she looked at Jax. Her lips were moving so fast they were a blur. If her hands waved any faster, she was going to get lift
off. Jax kept his head down as she flapped away, shaking his head. At one point, she slapped her hand on the table. He flicked his eyes up to her, and his lips formed the word, “No.”

  “Lou would you mind finishing up this order?” I asked. “I want to change the CD.”

  “Sure. As long it’s not that country stuff,” Lou said.

  I riffled through some of Lou’s music and found what I was looking for. I opened the player and switched the CDs. I paused for a moment, not sure if my plan was going to work. Thinking about what Charlie had said earlier, I knew I had to try. This was me being as honest as I could get.

  I pressed the “play” button and turned to watch Jax’s reaction.

  The moment the first riffs of “Old Time Rock and Roll” spilled out of the speaker, Jax’s shoulder’s stiffened.

  Walking around the counter, I headed toward his table. The song filtered through the speaker, and memories of Jax skating under a disco ball flashed through my mind. I looked to the center of the coffee shop, and suddenly I was back in 1984. I could feel his arms around me, his breath, his smile, his kiss. I wanted that again, and I was determined to get it.

  Before I could reach him, Jax held his hand up, stopping me in my tracks. He was about to break. I could feel it. All I needed to do was to take one more step, but the pained expression on his face stopped me cold.

  Caroline reached out and touched his hand.

  “Jax, please,” she said.

  As the music played, his eyes stayed locked with mine, telling me the truth that his stubborn mouth wouldn’t: he loved me; he wanted me.

  When the song was over, he tore his eyes away from me and looked to Caroline.

  “No,” he said as he shoved himself away from the table and marched to the door.

  And even though the word cut through my chest, I wasn’t about to let him leave. I held onto the truth in his blue eyes.

  “Jax!” I called after him.

  He paused, his hand on the door and his back to me. And then without looking back, he walked out.