Hard Choices (Blood Brothers #6)

by Manda Mellett

  The sensible part of me makes me keep quiet.

  He’s giving me time to get used to the size of him, his gentle thrusts keeping us both aroused and making thinking difficult.

  The pain has gone, I feel stretched, almost split in two. My body jerks with need, and I want him to move to assuage this yearning for release. “Just fuck me, Rais.”

  He grins. That’s when I realise I have no idea what I’ve just asked for. I feel so full, then empty as he pulls almost all the way out, then thrusts back in, then repeats. He’s hitting something I wasn’t sure existed inside me.

  Placing both hands either side of me on the bed, he takes his weight on his arms and lets himself go.

  I cry out as sensations wash over me. He growls and lowers his head, his teeth nipping at a tender spot on my neck. I can’t hold back any longer, and come with a scream, my body shuddering and shaking beyond my control.

  “Aiza,” he shouts. “I’m going to come.”

  I can feel him swelling, his balls banging against me with every thrust. His words, his intention, make me go tense again, and as he roars his completion I come again with him.

  He stills inside me, his body shuddering as he pumps his cum into me. I’m twitching uncontrollably with every thrust. His mouth meets mine and completely ravishes me, his tongue mimicking what his cock has just done to my body.

  My lips feel swollen when he finally pulls away. His cock slips out of my body. I’m completely drained, unable to move as I feel the bed dipping and hear water running in the bathroom. Then he’s back and cleaning me up.

  I open my eyes to see a satisfied grin on his face, and that the cloth he’s holding is tinged with red. I shake my head despairingly, realising he’s enjoying seeing the proof.

  “What? I’m a sheikh.”

  “Would it have mattered if I wasn’t?” He seems to be taking too much pleasure in the evidence of my now lost virginity.

  He fixes those dark eyes on me. “Not in the least. It’s you I want. It’s just a bonus knowing I’m the first man to have you.”

  “You could have been a bit bloody smaller,” I grumble.

  “Sore?”

  I wriggle my hips. “Just a bit.”

  “A bit?”

  “Okay, then, a lot. Satisfied?”

  He throws the flannel in the direction of the bathroom, then lays down behind me and pulls me into his arms. “I’m more than satisfied, habiti.”

  The touch of his mouth nibbling and kissing my neck is so gentle for such a rugged man.

  As my sexual euphoria fades, the strangeness of it all catches up with me. I hadn’t expected Rais to make me feel so good. Is this what I want? Or have these men, Rais swept me away? Suddenly the speed with which everything’s happened slams into me, and I stiffen in his arms.

  He notices immediately, sitting up and turning me over. I turn my head away, he moves it back. I close my eyes, squeezing them tight, but can’t prevent the tear from trickling out.

  “Speak to me,” he commands.

  I give a quick shake of my head, wanting to be left alone to come to terms with what’s happened here tonight.

  “Habiti?” When I don’t respond, he wipes the tear from the corner of my eye with a calloused finger. “I’ve just had the best sex of my life, and with the woman I’m going to marry. Now she’s crying. Why, habiti? Tell me why.”

  I don’t cry. This isn’t me. Despising my weakness, I sit up fast, making him hiss. I grab my shirt from where it was discarded by the side of the bed and tug it back on over my head. Then, disregarding my underwear, slip on my trousers. It’s only then that I speak.

  “Why? Why am I upset?” I waggle my finger at him. “Well, let’s just see. Maybe it’s because I’ve been railroaded into something I’m not sure I want. Playing with you, Hunter, and Rami in the dungeon is one thing. But this,” I point to him, then back to myself, “this between us, what you want, isn’t what I do.”

  He gets to his feet, his full nakedness on view in all its glory. “I’m not what you want?” His face grows tight, it’s hard to discern whether it’s with anger or disappointment.

  Whichever it is, it does nothing to dampen my anger, which seems to have appeared out of nowhere. “What do you think you are, Rais, Allah’s fucking gift? Why should I want you? Why should I want to tie myself to a desert sheikh and be trapped in Amahad? I’ve fought all my life for the chance to be free, and you want to constrain me.”

  “I gave you a fucking choice! You could have said your safeword, or fuck it, just told me no, asked me to stop. You didn’t.”

  Ignoring the fact that he’s spoken the truth, my anger continues to rise. “You took advantage of me when I was feeling weak. When I hadn’t recovered from being kidnapped. My mind’s not in the right place, you should have known that. I’m not a fucking doormat for you to walk over. I’m not a submissive who’s going to kneel at your feet or jump to your command. And you wonder why I’m upset?”

  He prowls closer. “I took advantage?”

  I wave my hand dismissively. “You all did. It’s a fucking game to you.”

  “A game?” he growls.

  “A game,” I confirm. “Oh, and I’ve no doubt Kadar gave his blessing. He’s managed to trap all the Kassis siblings now.” I pause. “Well, he’s failed. He’s not trapping this one. As soon as I can I’m out of this godforsaken country. I won’t be returning again either. Fuck Rami, fuck Hunter…”

  A snide grin spreads over his face. “I’m sure they’d love to fuck you.”

  “I never want to see them again. I’ll ask Ben to assign someone different…”

  My voice has risen to such a volume it must have carried to the men in the next room. My bedroom door bursts open, making me swing around. Hunter’s there, his face thunderous. Rami’s trying to peer past him, his expression concerned.

  Hunter looks from Rais to myself, and then back to the desert sheikh again. “How the hell did you fuck this up, Rais?”

  Chapter 30

  Rais

  How did I fuck this up? I haven’t a fucking clue. I thought she’d been right there with me, and she had been. She enjoyed it as much as I had. So why this sudden anger? What’s caused it? In my mind I replay what she’s said, one thing sticks out. Narrowing my eyes, I focus on her. “Hunter, Rami. Out.”

  Hunter stands his ground. “I don’t think so, Sheikh. Did you force her?” As the idea dawns on him he steps closer.

  I swing around, my eyes locking on those of the man from Grade A. “Well, did I, Aiza?”

  There’s a little gasp behind me, then she denies it. “No, Hunter, he didn’t.”

  “You hurt her then.”

  Seeing the way his hands are fisting, I’m pleased when again she replies.

  “No.”

  It’s not quite the truth, though any pain wasn’t intentional, I’d done my best to prepare her. I’d beat Hunter into a pulp if he wants to take me on, but I doubt it will make Aiza feel any happier to see the walls of the royal suite dripping with blood.

  “Look, please. Will you all go? I want some time to myself.” Her voice trembles, the sound making my heart clench. Time to brood is exactly what I’m not going to give her. Under the circumstances I can’t. It’s not what she needs.

  I push past Hunter and open the door. “Give us some space.”

  “You gonna sort this, man?” Hunter’s still glaring at me, clearly reluctant to leave.

  “I’m going to have a damn good try. Rami, I want you to leave too.”

  Rami doesn’t know what to do or say, he’s not a man who likes to take charge. Give him a direct order, though, and he seems more comfortable. Once they’ve left, I lock the door and pocket the key.

  Aiza’s eyes are wide and staring. “Rais, please. I want to be alone.”

  Ignoring her, I start opening the drawers at the side of the bed. Ah, second one down has got what I’m looking for, and that goes into my pocket too. Then I walk over to her.

  “Do y
ou trust me, Aiza?”

  “Yes. No.” She seems flustered.

  I stare deep into her eyes. “Tell me honestly. In all the time that I’ve known you, have I ever given you reason not to trust me?”

  At last her gaze meets mine, and then just as fast she looks away. She shrugs. I haven’t. That’s all the answer she can give me.

  “You’re hurting,” I tell her, knowing it’s the truth.

  She huffs a laugh. “I’m not that sore.”

  My lips curl slightly. “I didn’t mean that.” I tap my fingers gently against her forehead.

  “I meant you’re hurting in here. Trust me to help you.”

  Another quick glance at me. “What are you going to do?”

  “Come.” I hold out my hand, she places hers in it, and I lead her over to the door hidden behind the curtain.

  As she pulls back my fingers tighten so as not to lose the contact. I turn to see her shaking her head. “No, Rais.”

  “Yes.” I’m as firm as I can be, and then repeat again, “Trust me.” I change tack and taunt her. “You afraid?”

  “Of course not,” she scorns.

  You should be. Opening the door, I wrap my hand more firmly around her wrist and pull her with me. If she really protested or fought me I’d let her loose, but she doesn’t, and allows me to lead her down the stone stairs. I let her go briefly while I select the right key from my pocket then open the door to the converted harem.

  I hadn’t taken much time to explore yesterday, so after flicking on the light I take a moment to look around. She jerks her hand away from my hold, wrapping both arms around herself as though she’s cold.

  I spy what I hoped to find. A nice comfortable chair. Well, comfortable for me that is. Putting my hand on the small of her back, I encourage her across the room, taking in the other equipment as we pass, thinking of how I could make use of it on another day. I’ve got ideas. I’ve been friends with Nijad a very long time. I stop in front of the chair.

  “No.”

  Somehow she’s guessed my intent. Raising one eyebrow, I remind her, “You earned a punishment as I remember.”

  “From Hunter.”

  “Well, you’ll be taking it from me.” I sit down. “Over my lap, Aiza.”

  “Red.”

  “Uh uh. I admit that while I might not be into the lifestyle, Aiza, don’t think I’m ignorant. A safeword doesn’t get you out of a punishment.”

  Her eyes blaze. “It does if I never want to see you again. If I’m going to take the first flight out of here and disappear.”

  “And that’s earned you another one.” My voice is quite calm, belying the anger her words cause. “For not taking your safety seriously.”

  “I don’t feel particularly safe now.” Her voice shakes a little.

  I hold out my hand to her. “Come on, Aiza. The sooner we start, the sooner it will be over.”

  “Then you’ll get out of my sight?” She glances at me hopefully.

  “If that’s what you still desire,” I agree, knowing it’s the last thing that I want. I’ve got one chance to bring her back to me, and I can’t afford to cock this up.

  “Of course it will be what I bloody want,” she mumbles softly, at last putting her hand in mine.

  I jerk her, unbalancing her, and she tumbles into me. My strong arms have turned her so she’s over my knees, her arse in the air. She squeals as I pull down her silk trousers. Without delaying and giving her no time to protest, I spank her. She yelps.

  “Relax. It won’t hurt so much.”

  “You bloody relax. Then you won’t hit so hard,” is her spirited reply.

  I spank her again. Then again. Then give her the next five. Her body is still rigid, at least she’s stopped trying to get away.

  “Isn’t that enough?” she huffs out, trying to sound braver than she is.

  Not by a long way. In Nijad’s words, she’s trying to top me from the bottom, but I’ve got this. Keeping my voice firmly controlled, I ask, “Tell me, Aiza, why didn’t you say how badly your kidnapping was still affecting you?” Spank. “Why did you let us believe you’d gotten over it?”

  “Because I had, have.”

  A harder spank. “Stop lying to me.”

  “Stop hitting me.” Now there’s a sob.

  “Speak to me, Aiza. Tell me what’s upsetting you.” My voice is low and calm.

  “I can’t.” There’s an inflection that tells me she’s not speaking the truth.

  Spank. “You can.”

  Another sob, followed by another. I’m starting to get through to her. I change what I’m doing, massaging my hand over both reddening cheeks, then spanking again, followed by more soothing.

  “They treated me like an animal,” she sobs out. There it is.

  “How, habiti? How did they do that?” I’ve heard the plain facts of it before, although she hasn’t let anyone know how she felt about her treatment.

  It’s like the floodgates have opened. “The room where they left me had a window. There was no privacy. It was more like a kennel… I, I never thought I would get away. I gave up hoping for rescue. I have nightmares I’m still back there. I dream about it, even during the day.”

  There’s more. I spank more lightly, then massage again, not to hurt her, just to give her focus.

  “He was going to let his two disgusting men take me at once. He was going to film it for Kadar. He was going to break Kadar by showing him how they broke me. Rais, I said I would fight, death before dishonour, but, but I wouldn’t have had a chance. There was nothing I could do. Everything, all my control was stripped from me. I felt like the trapped animal they said I’d become.”

  I put her up into my arms as the tears come in earnest. “They would have hurt me, degraded me. They wanted to use me for their entertainment. Nothing would be out of bounds. I was powerless, Rais. Helpless. If you hadn’t come…” She sobs into my chest.

  “Shush, shush, darling. I did come. I’ll always come.”

  “And now he’s going to get me again, and I’m just as helpless.” She’s so scared.

  I rush to reassure her. “No, habiti. Not this time. You’ve got me, Hunter, and Rami. Let alone a whole army protecting you and keeping you safe. Shush, babe, I’ve got you. I’ll always hold you and keep you safe.”

  Her arms around my neck are almost strangling me, I don’t protest. I’m not into this dominance and submission—well maybe the fun part—I’ve not thought myself capable of carrying out a punishment before, however, I needed to get her out of her head. Needed to get her to open up to me. Needed to make her let go and let me in.

  I’m rocking us both, her sobs still coming fast.

  “Is there more, darling? Is there anything else I need to know?”

  Her hands tighten even more, telling me my suspicions were right. There’s more to it. Something else Twafiq had done? “Twafiq and his men are all dead, habiti. They won’t be coming for you again.”

  “I know that.”

  At last her sobbing turns into hiccups, she lifts her head from my shoulder, and at last loosens that grip around my neck. She reaches out her hands and cups my face, staring into my eyes so sadly. I catch my breath.

  “I thought this was right, Aiza.” I couldn’t bear it now if she pushes me away, knowing I’ve selfishly pushed myself on her in all types of ways today. Did we take her choices away? Am I just as bad as Twafiq.

  She rolls her head back and stares at the ceiling, then she looks down and gazes at me, almost as if she’s memorising every detail of my face.

  “I can’t do this, Rais.”

  A flicker of fear burns within me. I can’t lose her now. I’ve taken what I wanted too fast.

  “Do what, Aiza?” My voice catches.

  “I can’t marry you.” The words I dread and have no wish to hear.

  “Why the fuck not?” She struggles as if she wants to get down from my lap. If this is the last chance I’ll have to hold her, I’m going to hang on as long as I can. �
�Is it the arrangement? The suggestion of Hunter and Rami?”

  “The arrangement,” she parrots. “That’s part of it.”

  “Go on.” Whatever protests she’s got, I’ll find a way around it.

  Suddenly she straightens and sits astride my lap, her pussy hovering over my cock. The words she’s uttering prevent it swelling. “You’ve asked for this, alright? It might not be what you what to hear and might not make sense to you. Rais, you remember taking me to Switzerland? When I was eighteen?”

  I nod. I do. I haven’t forgotten a single moment when I’ve been in her company. Could probably recite the number of times I got a glimpse of her across the room. I recall that journey well, when she first left for finishing school, and it was me that had taken her. None of her family wanted the chore. “I remember,” I tell her.

  She shakes her head sadly. “That was when I knew I was attracted to you.”

  What the fuck? My hands, which had been stroking, soothing her, still. I think I even stop breathing.

  She nods as if I’ve spoken aloud. “Pretty stupid, huh? I fell in love with a desert sheikh.”

  She fell in love with me? “You didn’t say anything. Aiza, if that was the case, why did you stay away? Why didn’t you let me know? Give me some sign?”

  “To avoid making a fool of myself. Like I’m doing today. You were out of my reach. I knew you’d never look at me.” The words tumble out as if a floodgate has been opened. Her defences so far down she can’t hold back the truth.

  Words which shake me to my core. Words which crack the stone shield around my heart. It hits me then. If I hadn’t already stopped taking air into my lungs I would now, as it’s my turn to cup her face with my palms, and I hold my breath for the answer, hoping against hope my intuition is right. “Were you saving yourself for me, Aiza?”

  She shrugs. I grin.

  Her eyes fill with tears again. “Stupid, huh? I’m in love with you, Sheikh Rais. I think I always have been.” The words I’ve longed for, yet never expected or dared aspire to hear.