A New Hope (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 4)

by Robert P. Wills

  See? “Are you done?”

  A smile lets me know my partner is done. For now.

  I hand him the parchment and watch as he unrolls it. His eyes get wide. Then narrow. Then wide again. “You drew this?”

  “Right? I mean, if wand selling goes belly up, I think I could make a go of this art gig.”

  “This is the gal?”

  “Yeah. She’s something, right?”

  “That’s the word I was thinking of; something.”

  Seems Drimblerod isn’t done just yet. “What’re you saying, exactly?”

  “Well, I’m sure that in person, she’s a very nice, clear, gal.” The smile is back.

  “What?”

  He turns the parchment around so I can see it.

  Rolton chips. Steaming Rolton chips.

  “It didn’t look like that when I rolled it up just a little bit ago,” I assure my unbelieving partner.

  “I would hope not.”

  Now I’m hopping back and forth. “Just wait till you see her in person!” Then he’ll lose that smug smile.

  “What’s with the black block? You drop your charcoal or something?”

  “Censors.”

  “Censors? There’re censoring art at the school?”

  “No, not at the school.” He’s giving me the look. Another copper lost. I really can’t explain it. So I tell him. “I really can’t explain it. It kind of, sort of just happened all on its own.” I give him a shrug. “That’s all I got as far as an explanation.”

  “I’ll put it on the cupboard, Grim.” He gives me a smile.

  I don’t know why, but it makes me feel better. All glowing on the insides. Weird.

  “You playing hookie, youngster? I just may have to tell the law, you know. Truancy is a crime ‘round these parts,” says Rat as he scoots down the stairs.

  No more glowing insides. Not weird, really. Not with Rat around. “You doing anything to earn your keep?”

  Rat twitches his whiskers at me. Mostly, that means ‘no’.

  “Well, I need to get back to class to wrap up this mystery.” I turn and look at Door. It’s a long way back to Big Julies. A long way. Then I have a thought. “Hey, Rat. Get me back to the school and I’ll let you come to class with me.”

  “Really?”

  “Sure, other kids have familiars. You just need to make sure you don’t do any talking.”

  “Him not talk?” Drimblerod tosses into the conversation.

  Now Rat twitches his whiskers at him.

  Nice.

  “Let’s go Rat. I can’t take half the day going back and forth. I pull out The Black. “I’ll just make you a Shambler to get us there quick like. Then I’ll change you back.”

  “You sure that spell is going to work with you... in that condition?”

  “Why wouldn’t it?”

  “Well, I’m tied to you because of the spell, but since you’re not looking like you, it might not work right.”

  “Quit being a scardy-rat and get over here.” I waggle my wand at him. “It’s not like you could die, right?”

  “Well, there’s no telling.” He says warily as he comes around the counter. “I’m nice and settled in my life right now. I don’t know if I can handle the kind of life-changes death would bring. Such as...”

  I slash my wand at him before he tells me.

  Rodentus Grigo

  Transmutis Completes!

  Shambler Verdes!

  I intone.

  In a golden flash of light, Rat is transformed.

  Kind of.

  Drimblerod’s laughing so hard I can’t hear Rat.

  Maybe that’s a good thing. He sounds upset and the words I’m getting here and there aren’t to neighborly. I try to listen anyhow.

  “I told you that the enchantment was tied to you!” He wailes. “Just look at me.”

  “You’re more a Shetland Shambler,” Drimblerod finally manages to say. He’s wiping a tear from his eye. “That’s the best news I’ve seen all month.”

  “Well, I’m none to keen about it,” says RatShetlandShambler. “Not one bit!”

  “Well, look at it this way,” I say to him as I move over and look him in the eye. “At least I won’t have any trouble getting on you this way.”

  “And nobody’ll recognize you either, you wee little Shambler, you,” offers Drimblerod. Not too helpfully, I might add.

  RatShetlandShamber’s cursing up a storm again.

  Door rattles his latch and opens for us. His latch is going back and forth. Seems he sees the humor in a tiny Shambler as well. At least I’m not going to need a ladder or a rope to get up and down. “Let’s go Rat,” I say to him. “I need to get back to class.”

  “Fine, fine. At least no one I know’ll recognize me.”

  “And I’ll tell you about the case I’m working, while we get back to school.”

  “Will we be there in time for lunch?”

  “If we hurry.” Now all of a sudden, I’m in a hurry too. “So let’s get going.”

  With a nod he exits the shoppe. As Door closes, I can hear Drimblerod start laughing again. Door’s rattling isn’t helping. I swing up on RatShetlandShambler. It’s an easy mount. “OK, to the school and I’ll fill you in.”

  Rat gives me a nod as he moves to a pretty quick trot- he doesn’t want to miss lunch.

  Me either.

  Chapter 42.75 something

  Grim Noir – The Case of the Missing Wands

  (Day 4 ¾) - Lunch

  “So why’s this miner keep coming around the school?” Rat asks me as we get to the windmill.

  “Who cares? I’m on the lookout for a Gnome kid who follows Jute United. Like I told you.”

  “Right, right. There’s just something that isn’t sitting right with that old guy.”

  “Maybe it’s his glowing personality.” I get off my mount and draw The Black. We move around the pedestal where Pollux used to sit. Or maybe it’s Castor. Either way, the thing gives us some pretty good cover for my work. “Hold still”. I wave my wand at RatShetland Shambler and whisper the incantation.

  Rat’s cursing up another stormfront of, well... curses.

  “Quiet down, Rat! You want to get me expelled? You’re not even supposed to be talking.”

  “Just look at me!” he squeeks. “I’m the size of a Shambler pellet!”

  “Well, you’re bigger than that,” I try to assure him as I stow The Black. “Two at least.”

  “You’re not helping.” He says as I pick him up and put him on my shoulder. He fits fine on just it. “I better not see anyone I know,” he whispers in my ear as I made my way around the pedestal and towards the cafeteria.

  “Look on the bright side, Rat,” I say.

  “Bright side?”

  “Now it will just take a little speck of food to fill you up.”

  He bites my ear. Hard.

  I let out a yelp as we get to the cafeteria doors. There’s an upper classmen there.

  “What you squealing about, first year?” He says as he looks from me to Rat and back to me. “That thing even weened yet?”

  “Nope,” I say as I push past him. “He was on your Mamma’s teat just this morning. Right after me.”

  “What?!”

  I duck in the cafeteria and weave through a few groups of kid to make sure the guy can’t follow me.

  “Nice one, Grim,” Rat whispers in my ear.

  I give him a nod as I search out a table with friendly faces. I spy Amaryllis at a table with some kids from the art class. One of the Gnoll brothers seems to be sliding plates onto the table. I make my way over there fast so that I don’t miss a plate for me.

  “Yer runnin la...” Starts the Gnoll as he gives me a nod. Then he spots Rat. His foot starts stomping the ground but he’s keeping a straight face. “Errr...” He tries as his tongue hangs out one side of this mouth.

  “Just a plate of food will do it, I think,” says Rat. “Light on the comments. Real, real light.”

&nbs
p; I can see that the Gnoll is biting down on his tongue. He manages to slide a last plate to an empty spot and makes a quick exit.

  “Some folk,” I say as I sit down. I notice everyone’s eyeing Rat. “I just got him. He’s my new familiar.” I invent a story as I go: “He’s the offspring of a very important and powerful familiar of an all powerful wizard.” And a bit of truth never hurt anyone. Mostly. “And wand salesman. A true seller of fine magical artifacts.”

  Rat gives a nod. Then he hops onto the table. He sniffs the plate then looks at me. “What’s this?”

  “It’s the student menu,” says the Human kid next to Amaryllis. “They bring something and we eat it.”

  “And you pay for this?” Rat sits down.

  The Human smiles. “Oh, no. No, we don’t.”

  “Well, that’s a relief...” Starts Rat.

  “Our parents do, of course.” He finishes.

  Rat smells the plate again. “They’re getting ripped off.”

  “We’ll just make due, Rat,” I say. Then I lean in close. “Remember you’re not even supposed to be talking.”

  He gives me a nod.

  “A talking Rat. That’s wizard[34], Grim!” Amaryllis isn’t helping.

  “Let’s just eat, alright?” I look at the plate. There’s some meat of some kind. Some sort of brownish bread, and a slab of a soft cheese. Or something. If nothing else, this gives me ammunition that I can use against the Gnoll brothers. For months.

  “Want some cheese, little rat?” Says the Human. He’s holding up a hunk off his slab of soft cheese. Or something.

  “I’d love a piece of cheese.” Rat twitches his whiskers.

  Here it comes.

  “If you find any cheese, you just let me know. You can keep that lump of hardened milk, you lowbrow consumer.”

  “Ok,” says the lad as he pops the food in his mouth.

  “Sarcasm is lost on youth,” remarks Rat as he smells the meat again. With a sigh he takes a bite. Then another.

  “So, anyone here a Jutes United fan?” I toss out there on the table.

  Everyone stares at me.

  “Those losers?” Says the kid beside Amaryllis. “No way.”

  Amaryllis gives me the stink eye. “Did you go up to the top of the windmill without me?”

  Now the two guys at the table are giving me the crazy eye. Apparenly, she’s never asked them to the top of the windmill.

  Wonder how I can make coins when I get those looks. “I’m planning on taking you with me,” I lie to the Moll. “Relax or you’ll pop a button.” I give her a look over. “You’ve only one left.” I add. Because she does.

  There’s that pout again. “Sometimes I think you don’t like me.”

  Now the guys are giving me the agog eye. No coppers in that either. “Don’t worry. You’ll be the first to know when I decide to go up the windmill.” I give her hand a pat to make her think I mean it. “Well, I need to go talk to Missus Murphy about my sketch. I’ll catch up with you mooks later.” I pick up Rat and head for the door.

  “Where are we going?” he asks me. “I was just getting the taste for that meat.”

  “We’re going to the top of the windmill so I can talk to these Jute fans up close and personal.”

  “How up close? Remember your size, Grim”

  I draw The Black. “Don’t worry Rat; I’m packing.”

  “But what about Amaryllis? She’s going to be upset, you know.”

  We go into the windmill and make our way to the big spiral staircase. It seems like a lifetime ago that I climbed it for the first time with Drimblerod on my tour. A smile comes to me as I remember how up close and personal I got with Big Julie that day. And not completely as innocent as I had let on. “She’ll be fine. Something tells me she’s the kind of girl that always lands on her feet.”

  “Feet?”

  “Well, there’s no sense in being impolite about it,” I give him. Rats. When we get to the first landing, I stop to catch my breath. It seems a lot farther now that I’m teeny.

  “Hey, Grim.” Rat twitches his whiskers. “Remember the last time we were up here and I was on your shoulder? With Big Julie?”

  “Nope. Must have slipped my mind.”

  Focused.

  Rat frowns at me. But now I’m back on the stairs, still breathing deep but making progress.

  We finally get to the top and the place is empty. Of perpetrators, that is. There’s plenty of other junk up here. Just not anyone I can get up close and personal with.

  Nuts.

  “Nuts.” I say. Outloud this time. “This is no good.”

  Rat makes the jump from my shoulder and moves around the room. “I’ll see what stuff is behind this other stuff. Maybe that’ll help.”

  “If you find a stash of wands, let me know.” I sit down on the couch and look out the large window across the Great Shambler Plains while I catch my breath. There’s as much to see out there as there is in the room. “Anything?” I ask my trusty Rat.

  “Nothing yet.”

  Great. All that walking with nothing to show for it. “Great all that walking and nothing to show for it. You know, I might just subcontract this entire affair to Colossus. Mayhap he can make something of...

  “Grim!” I hear Rat screech from the far corner. “Watch...”

  Chapter 43

  Meanwhile...

  Chéri lay down and rolled over several times to reach Colossus. Since the bed they were in was made large for even a pair of humans (a single Orc could sleep in it comfortably) they were completely overwhelmed by it. “Colossus, are you awake?” She cooed.

  “Nope.” He pulled his pillow over his head.

  “Well, we need to see about at least getting one more load of wood from Aution before those brothers out there turn it all into charcoal.”

  “Sounds good.” Colossus said from under the pillow. “But I’m asleep so I can’t hear you.”

  “If you can’t hear me,” Chéri sat up. “Then you’re not going to know...”

  “Nope.”

  “...when I’ve let the covers fall down while I’m sitting up.”

  “Seen it.” He clamped his hands tight on his pillow.

  “What willpower, this mighty Corporal of the Great Halfling Empire has,” Chéri remarked. “When an uncovered maiden is so close. Dare I say, close enough even to touch!”

  “Touched it.” The pillow remained firmly in place.

  Chéri narrowed her eyes. “Then I guess the dance being done is all in vain.” Chéri shuffled around in the bed, making it bounce. “A dance in vain.”

  Colossus’ grip on the pillow loosened.

  “Really, it’s more writhing than dancing.”

  “Writhing?”

  “Oh yes. With some wriggling just in case.” Chéri signed loudly. “But, if it’s all in vain, then I suppose that the fair maiden should just get up and get dressed.”

  “Well, let’s not be hasty.” Colossus rolled over.

  Chéri was sitting up in the bed. Fully dressed. She was flapping her arms up and down to make the bed bounce. It was in no way dancing. Or writhing.

  “That’s making a false statement to a lawman.”

  Chéri grabbed his pillow and rolled off the bed. “Well, now that you’re awake, let’s get going, lawman. I’ve been up for over half an hour already.”

  “But...” Colossus frowned. “A reliable witness said there was dancing.”

  “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She dropped the pillow on top of hers- far out of the Corporal’s reach. She dusted off her hands. “There’s work to be done.”

  “And writhing. I’m sure that was reported as well.”

  “Witnesses can be so unreliable.”

  “But... bouncing, I definitely was under the impression that...”

  Chéri raised an eyebrow at him. “Bouncing? Bouncing? I can’t imagine that a proper maiden would ever conduct herself in that manner.”

  Colossus sat up. “Well
, I’m pretty sure I’ve not been in the company of a proper maiden anytime lately.”

  Chéri’s other eyebrow raised.

  “There’s this one reliable witness that describes the aforementioned as a Minx.”

  “What?”

  “Or maybe it was a Polecat.”

  Chéri put her hands on her hips. “Well, that all depends on present company, I suppose.”

  Colossus brought his legs up as he propped himself against the headboard. “What depends on present company?”

  “Whether later this evening, this very room,” Chéri held her hands out wide, “will be occupied by a prim, proper, and chaste maiden, or a wild and carefree Minx.”

  Colossus scooted to the edge of the bed and hopped out. “Now don’t get hasty! I’ll be down for breakfast in ten minutes!”

  “That’s what I thought. Ten minutes, soldier.” Chéri turned and left the room.

  “Colossus, you’ve got no spine at all when it comes to that female,” he said to himself as he grabbed his trousers and slipped them on. He grabbed his socks. “Well, given the choice between a maiden and a minx, you wouldn’t either,” he said as he hopped about while trying to put them on.

  True to his military training, Colossus came bounding down the stairs, dressed with combed hair and brushed teeth - inspection ready - in under ten minutes. “Corporal Colossus reporting as threatened,” he rendered a snappy salute to Chéri.

  “Threatened? Someone threatened you?” Chéri said innocently. She looked around the room. “Well, as a lawman, you should bring charges against them.”

  Colossus sat at the table. “Oh, I’ve plans for how I’m doing to deal with the perpetrator, don’t you worry.”

  Chéri smiled. “Well, I’m sure with you on the case, justice will be served.” She poured him a cup of coffee. “Vigorously.”

  Colossus stared at Chéri as she did.

  She put the carafe down self-consciously. “What?”

  “It’s just that I can’t believe that we’re together. Really together.” He gestured around the room. “Here, in public. And no one cares a bit. This town, I have to tell you...”

  Chéri laughed. “You looking to put down roots in this one-Shambler town?”