Secret

by Penelope Sky

  “Catalina, don’t let some stranger dictate your life. You’re smarter than that—”

  “It happened to both Damien and Hades. You think that’s a coincidence?”

  “Yes.”

  “And the fact that everything she said about me is true?”

  I considered my answer for a long time. “What does it matter if it’s true? If she says I’m the only man you’re going to love, then you should try to make this work with me. You should fight for me.”

  She stepped away, moving to a different side of the kitchen island. “No. She said it would never work—and it won’t work.”

  I didn’t want to lose her. I couldn’t picture my life without her. I couldn’t imagine going back to the whores I used to pay to bed me. I didn’t want to go back to that numb existence. I couldn’t do it. “Please.” I’d never begged for anything in my life.

  “I despise you.” She said it without skipping a beat. “I don’t trust you. I don’t respect you. And I’ll always hate you for what you did to my innocent father.”

  “He’s still alive—”

  “Because of Damien. Not you.” She kept the knives in front of her, as if she would actually draw one on me. “I hate you.”

  “You don’t hate me. You love me.”

  She refused to acknowledge those feelings ever existed. “No.” She stared at me with a hard expression, ice-cold. “You mean nothing to me, Heath. I know where my allegiance lies…and it’s not with you.”

  I kept the same expression, but I was falling apart inside, knowing this woman was already gone even though she was still in my home. That all I had of her was a memory, not the real thing.

  “I don’t care about the way you make money. Damien and Hades aren’t upstanding citizens. But they don’t hurt innocent people like you. You’re my enemy as far as I’m concerned. What we had…it’s in the past. It’s like it never happened at all. Because I see you for what you really are. I just wish you were man enough to be honest with me, so I didn’t have to learn this lesson the hard way.”

  “Baby—”

  “Call me that again, and I’ll stab you.” She spoke calmly, like it was a matter of fact rather than an emotional outburst.

  My breathing started to speed up because I knew she was about to walk away from me forever—and there was nothing I could do to make her stay.

  “Don’t come to my apartment. Don’t fucking use your key to come and go as you please. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t show up at my performances and confront me backstage, because I will make a scene. You’re my enemy now, and I won’t make the mistakes I made before. I won’t stop Damien from killing you. I’ll even help him if I can. So, it’s in your best interest to disappear from my life.” She turned her back to me and headed for the stairs.

  I was paralyzed on the spot, my chest caving in with agony. I’d never felt pain like this, not from a stab wound, not from a bullet, not from any physical injury in my life. It was indescribable…like my entire purpose for being alive was walking away. “Catalina.”

  She stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to look at me. With one hand on the rail, she held her position, staring at me with icy coldness. The spontaneous and passionate woman I used to know was gone, dead the instant she knew what I did. She didn’t look at me the way she used to, like she was so deeply in love that it completely consumed her. Her fire was out, the fire that used to keep me warm.

  “I love you.” I only got to say it to her a few times, and I’d thought if I ever did, it would happen much differently, with her in my arms and then underneath me, making love all night as she whispered it back to me. But I’d never gotten to hear the words echo back at me…and now I never would. “And I always will.”

  Twelve

  Catalina

  I walked to my trash can with the leftovers from my sandwich and pressed my foot on the pedal at the base so the lid would pop open. Before I dropped the scraps, I saw the sunflowers I’d dumped days ago.

  I dropped the sandwich right on top of the last visible petals then walked away. The dish was placed in the sink so I could wash it later. Then I walked to the couch, my hair pulled up in a bun, and I drank my wine as I watched TV.

  I felt so numb.

  The body had fascinating ways of protecting itself, of turning off everything when life was too traumatic to experience in full. Maybe that was why I didn’t feel anything at all, as if nothing had happened. Or maybe Heath’s betrayal was so potent that it changed my feelings instantly, made me see that relationship from a different perspective. Because I didn’t think about him. I didn’t miss him. I didn’t question my decision.

  I didn’t feel anything at all.

  At the time, I thought that was the most passionate relationship of my life, the kind of relationship that would make you feel alive when nothing else did. I thought it would be a good memory someday, a source of heat when the rest of my life turned cold. But now it was just a big fucking mistake.

  Fuck him.

  I felt so stupid for my actions, felt so stupid for ever feeling anything toward him. I’d loved him at one point, but that was under different circumstances. If those circumstances changed, how could I still love him?

  I couldn’t.

  History had been rewritten, and now so had my feelings.

  A week had passed since our conclusion, and he’d done as I asked. He didn’t try to contact me, didn’t show up at my apartment, didn’t do any of that obnoxious stuff…thank god. If he showed his face, I might actually shoot him.

  I did have a gun—the one he gave me.

  A knock sounded on my door.

  I turned at the sound, slightly dreading the person on the other side. I set down my glass of wine and walked to the front door. I looked through the peephole and saw my brother on the other side.

  I unlocked all the bolts and opened the door. “Hey.” I hadn’t seen him since that conversation in his bedroom. I knew it would be awkward the first time we saw each other, so I tried to push past it.

  He held up a bottle of wine. “I saw Conway Barsetti today. He gifted this to me, but I thought you would enjoy it more.”

  I grabbed it by the neck and looked at the year. “Wow, it’s like thirty years old.”

  “The harvest of his birth year. His father bottled a bunch of it and keeps it in his cellar.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  “Yeah. I knew you’d appreciate it.”

  “I’m not sure I can open it now.” I clutched it to my chest. “I’ll have to save it for a special occasion or something.”

  He shrugged. “Being alive is a special occasion, isn’t it?”

  I walked to the kitchen and placed it in the pantry. “I’ll save it for my wedding or something…” I selected a different bottle, something less fancy, and grabbed two glasses. “You want some?”

  “Sure. But next time, I’ll get you something you’ll actually enjoy.” He approached the kitchen and took the glass from me.

  “It’s very thoughtful, Damien. Thank you.” I took a drink, letting the fruity taste of the berries drown my tongue. I licked my lips and looked at the bottle before I looked at him again. “So, what brings you here?”

  “Just wanted to see you.”

  “We both know you never want to see me,” I teased.

  He drank from his glass and continued to look at me. “How are you?”

  “I’m fine,” I said quickly.

  He stared at me like that answer wasn’t good enough.

  “I confronted him right after we spoke. It’s over.” The rest of the details didn’t matter. He was gone for good.

  “Has he bothered you?”

  I shook my head. “I told him not to.”

  Damien nodded slightly. “Sounds like a clean break.”

  “I guess.” I swirled the wine in my glass.

  My brother watched me for a while, being soft rather than cruel. Last time we spoke, he was so angry with me. But the distance over the l
ast week seemed to calm him down. “You’re doing better than I expected you to be.”

  I shrugged. “When you first told me, that was the hardest part. That was the most painful part. But once that passed, everything died inside me. I didn’t see him the same anymore, and when I confronted him, that was exactly how I felt. It’s like…I stopped feeling everything.”

  He stared at his glass of wine as he listened.

  “He said being with me wasn’t a ploy to stick it to you. He just didn’t tell me because he knew I would leave him once I knew.”

  He took a drink, his eyes still down.

  “So, that was it.”

  He raised his head to look at me. “I’m sorry I was so harsh with you. I know that you didn’t do any of this on purpose, that he misled you, and that it doesn’t mean you’re stupid.” My protective brother was back, looking at me like his little sister again. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

  I inhaled a deep breath. “It’s hard not to…”

  “Don’t.”

  “I feel so stupid for calling him. If I hadn’t, you would have killed him…and he should be dead right now.” Losing my mother when she was so young was already difficult enough. The idea of losing my father in an even more brutal way…disturbed me. Heath almost took away the first man I’d ever loved…and I let him touch me.

  “He’ll be dead soon enough.” He watched my reaction to his words.

  But I had no reaction. “Did he hurt Dad?”

  “No. When I got there, Dad didn’t understand the severity of the situation. You know how he is, thinks everything’s a joke. So, I doubt they did anything more than grab him by the arm.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t know you were sleeping with him.”

  “I mean, why didn’t you tell me what happened to Dad?”

  He looked down into his glass. “Didn’t want to scare you.”

  “Is that the real reason you had him move in with you?”

  He nodded.

  I closed my eyes as the anger washed over me. Heath had terrorized my family for a long time. “How did this all start?”

  “Hades and I were running the business like usual when a psychopath made our lives difficult. His name was Maddox. Balto was the Skull King at the time, but he was at war with someone else that required all his attention, so he didn’t defuse the problem with Maddox when he normally would have. Then he stepped down, Heath stepped in, and things were pandemonium for a while. But once the dust settled, Heath expected me to start paying him a cut of my business. I refused because they didn’t supply the services they promised when I needed them. It escalated from there…” He grabbed the bottle and refilled his glass. “He continued to threaten me, and I refused to pay. After the third time, he ambushed me at a bar. One of his men had taken Dad to a different location. Heath said he would execute Dad because of my crimes. When I gave in and offered to pay whatever he wanted, he didn’t care. He said he was going to kill him anyway…”

  I closed my eyes in pain, imagining my father tied up. “How did you get out of that?”

  “I’d called Balto right before and asked for help.”

  “But why would he help you?” Why would he betray his own twin?

  “I saved his life once, so I asked him to return the favor.” He took a deep drink and licked his lips. “If Balto hadn’t honored the request, Dad would be gone. Since Balto was the previous Skull King, he had the right contacts to track Dad’s location, but he was too far away, so he called Hades. And Hades took care of it. Balto came to the bar and made Heath stand down.”

  I couldn’t believe the story, couldn’t believe the history that Damien had with the man I’d been sleeping with. “I don’t know what to say…”

  “If I had told you the truth, none of this would have happened. I should have told you…”

  “There was no way for you to anticipate any of this.”

  He continued to drink his wine, his hands resting on the surface of the counter. He was in a long-sleeved shirt with jeans, like he’d gotten off work and went home before he came here. “A part of me doesn’t want the answer, but…how did this happen with Heath?”

  I’d never told Damien what Heath did to protect him, but now I didn’t feel any obligation toward him. “When Anna was gone, Heath kidnapped me. He waited until I left the theater before he grabbed me by my car.”

  Damien stilled, as if he hadn’t expected me to say anything like that.

  “He put me in a cage in his basement, we argued a lot, but then he let me go…”

  Damien was still speechless.

  “His plan was to have you choose between me and Anna. You could surrender, and he would release me…or he’d kill me. Or you could let me die and keep trying to save Anna.”

  He bowed his head and sighed, anger moving into his eyes.

  “But he listened to me pray for your safety and decided to go ahead and release me. He told Liam to fight you in the ring instead. That was how that happened.”

  Damien stepped back and paced a few steps in front of my kitchen, his hand dragging down his face to his lips.

  “We ran into each other weeks later, started talking. He asked me out, and I said no. That kept happening over and over. Then I changed my mind…” I omitted the truth about my captivity by the traffickers because that would be too much for Damien to handle. “It was supposed to be a fling and nothing more, something that was supposed to burn out after a couple of weeks, but it didn’t.”

  Damien came back to me, sighing deeply. “Jesus Christ…”

  “I saw a different side to Heath. I saw that he was kind, compassionate, good…so I forgave him for all the things he’d done. The ones I knew about anyway. But when you told me about Dad…I couldn’t look past it. It was too terrible.”

  He raised his head and looked at me. “Did you love him?”

  It was such an intimate question that I didn’t know how to answer.

  “Because you told him about my plan, and I don’t see any other reason why you would have done that.”

  I didn’t deny it. “I don’t feel that way anymore.” I dropped my gaze. “Everything is different now.”

  He gave a slight nod. “Good.”

  “Now I don’t feel like I ever knew him…” He’d lied to me, every single day. “He said he fell in love with me, and that was the reason he didn’t tell me the truth as our relationship continued…because he didn’t want to lose me.”

  Damien didn’t blink at that information. “I don’t believe that. Not for a second.”

  I didn’t know what I believed. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

  “I’m going to make him pay for everything he’s done to our family, for what he’s done to our father, me, you…” He stared at the ground. “I’m going to kill him. And this time, you better not intervene.”

  “Trust me.” I took a drink from my glass. “I won’t.”

  I sat at the table and enjoyed my drink while the girls talked about the performance we’d finished just a few hours ago. This was my second drink, another I hadn’t paid for, and I downed it quickly so I could get that nice buzz.

  “I haven’t seen you with Heath in a while,” Tracy said. “Is he coming tonight?”

  “No,” I said quickly. “I dumped him.” The words came out of my mouth easily, tumbling out like they meant nothing to me at all.

  Concern moved into her eyes. “Oh my god, what happened?”

  “I broke up with him,” I said simply. “It wasn’t working.”

  “Wow…I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” I looked into my drink, pouting my lips when I saw it was empty. Now I had to walk my ass to the bar if I wanted another. Or I could wait until someone bought me another. “It was just a fling. I’m over it.”

  “But he was so hot. Like, insanely hot.”

  I shrugged. “There’re lots of hot guys out there.”

  “Ugh, not like him,” she said. “He was a whol
e different level.”

  “Then why don’t you go out with him?” He was a manipulative liar, a murderer of innocent people, a complete piece of shit.

  “Because…” She looked past me, losing her train of thought. “It looks like you’re the only one he wants to talk to.”

  I stopped licking the last few drops of my drink then gave her a confused expression. When her gaze continued to focus on something past me, I looked over my shoulder.

  He sat alone at a nearby table, his vodka beside him. He was in a long-sleeved shirt and jeans, staring at me like he’d been there for a while, looking at my back in the hope I would notice him eventually.

  I turned back to her. “That motherfucker…” I got out of my chair and strutted to him, ready to break his nose with my iron fist.

  He rose from his chair so he could meet my look head on.

  “What the hell did I say?” I snapped, yelling over the music. “I told you not to—”

  “Go to your apartment, your performance, or call or text. You didn’t say anything about running into you at a bar.”

  I was not in the mood for his smartass remarks. “I’m not amused.”

  “Wasn’t trying to amuse you.” His eyes looked into mine like he hadn’t seen me in years. It’d only been weeks, but he stared at my features like he’d never really looked at them before. “You look beautiful.”

  I made a disgusted face. “Leave me alone, Heath.”

  “You came over here.”

  “Fine.” I turned around. “Then enjoy your night—”

  “Catalina.” He grabbed me by the elbow.

  I turned at the touch, slamming my closed fist hard into his nose.

  His head flew back slightly, but he didn’t make a sound, even when his nose started to bleed.

  “Don’t touch me.”

  He looked at me as the blood dripped to the top of his lip. He rubbed it away with his sleeve but didn’t show a hint of anger at my actions.

  “Touch me again, and I’ll break your balls.”

  “I just want to talk to you.” When his nose continued to bleed, he wiped away the blood again.