Tyre - A Space Opera Colonization Adventure (Aeon 14: Building New Canaan Book 2)

by M. D. Cooper

  No, that wasn’t right. Something else had happened.

  But she couldn’t remember what. Though she was back in the hospital; she knew that. In Ushu. She’d been making an infomentary for Placement Services.

  Isa continued trying to figure it all out while her thoughts gradually cleared. When a shadow blocked the light from the door, Isa turned to see that it was someone in a medic’s uniform. As their eyes met, the man smiled and walked into the room.

  “So you’ve come around at last,” he said. “We were running a sweep. I lost. I thought you would wake up at least an hour ago.”

  “What?”

  The medic smiled again. “The doctor gave you something to keep you under for a while and give you time to recuperate. It turned out that you were a little oversensitive to the medication, so you’ve been asleep longer than we expected. But don’t worry. You’ll feel fine in a little while. Your system has processed most of the drug.”

  Isa lifted a hand to her head. She remembered she’d hit it on something. Or something had hit it. But the pain was gone now. She touched her scalp through her hair, but she couldn’t feel any scab or bruising.

  “You had quite a wound there,” the medic said. “And some micro-hemorrhages in your brain tissue, but we fixed all that for you.” He was checking the screen above her bed. He looked down at her. “I guess I’m not making a whole lot of sense right now, am I?”

  And my leg, Isa was thinking. Something happened to my leg.

 

  Isa’s heart leapt, and happiness flooded through her.

  Erin said.

  Isa said. She frowned, still trying to make sense of it all.

  “You seem to be recovering well,” the medic said, apparently picking up that she was speaking to someone on the Link. “I’ll be back in a while.”

  Isa barely noticed him leave.

  said Erin.

  What was Erin doing on Tyre? Isa battled the fog that was clouding her mind.

  she asked.

 

 

  Then Erin was gone.

  As soon as she was alone with her thoughts again, Isa’s memories of recent events came back in a rush. She groaned and lifted a hand to her face as she remembered Martin’s lifeless body. Pigtail had murdered him, but then Erin had shot her dead. Isa didn’t think she would ever forget the woman’s sightless eyes below the hole in her head. Yet the memory brought Isa no satisfaction, not if Martin was dead.

  She also recalled the shot she’d taken to her thigh. She touched the spot, but her skin was healed, and the wound no longer gave her any pain. The terrible feeling of extreme thirst had gone too. She remembered crawling over the rough, sharp-edged ground inside the crystal cave, but when she looked at her hands, the skin was healed. It was fresh, pink, and soft. She imagined that her knees were probably the same.

  On the outside, Isa was healed, but the inside was another matter. Her recollections sparked guilt in her, as thoughts like that always did. The feeling rose up, threatening to consume her. Once again, she’d survived when others had died. Why? What had she done to deserve it? She’d been the one at fault. She’d allowed herself to be taken in by the Tyrians. It was she who had introduced them to Martin.

  Isa stared up at the ceiling. She knew she should feel relieved, joyful even, that she was still alive, but her feelings were leaden. She couldn’t understand why this gift was thrust into her hands again and again. Why was she always the exception?

  “Hey,” a voice exclaimed.

  Another figure stood in the doorway. Isa couldn’t make out who it was. It wasn’t the medic. This was a woman, but the light from the corridor was throwing her face into shadow.

  “Is it okay if I come in?” the woman asked.

  “Sure,” Isa replied.

  Though she didn’t know who she was speaking to, she welcomed the distraction from her thoughts. When the person walked closer, however, Isa realized she did know her. It was one of the crew who had rescued her from the crystal cave when she’d been there the first time. Isa remembered the woman’s name was Stefana.

  “Is it okay if I sit down?” the medic asked.

  “Go ahead,” Isa replied, though there were no chairs in the room. Instead, Stefana perched on the side of Isa’s bed. She was in uniform, so Isa guessed she must have finished a shift.

  “So you returned for another stay?” Stefana joked. “You must love this place.”

  Isa smiled wanly. “I had to be rescued from the same cave again, if you can believe it.”

  “No kidding,” Stefana replied. “I heard all about the shenanigans that went down over there. I didn’t realize you were involved. Lucky escape for you, and the rest of us. Are you okay now?”

  “Yeah,” said Isa. “I seem to be.”

  Stefana didn’t answer immediately, as if weighing her words. Then she asked, “Are you sure?”

  Isa was taken aback by the directness of the medic’s question. “Yeah, of course. I’m all healed up. Can’t you tell? They did a good job.”

  “Good. They usually do.” Stefana let the silence stretch out.

  “What makes you ask?” Isa said eventually. “Do you know something I don’t?” She was trying to be humorous, but her tone sounded flat and lifeless, even to herself.

  Stefana studied her for a moment and said, “It’s probably none of my business, but you don’t seem okay to me. Not for someone who’s survived a life-threatening event. I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I thought the same when we picked you up.”

  “You did?” Isa said. Part of her wanted Stefana to shut up there and then, and part of her wanted to hear more.

  “I did,” the medic said. “Isa, I love my job. I’ve done it for a long time, which means I’ve seen lots of people in medical distress of one kind or another. Lots of people who’ve been saved from a dangerous situation at the last minute. And in that time, I’ve gotten familiar with the typical reactions. Not everyone’s the same, you understand, but there’s a range. And you don’t fit in it.”

  “You think I should be happier.” It was a statement, not a question.

  “Maybe,” Stefana replied. “Like I said, there’s a range. Some patients are overjoyed, some massively relieved, some are still in shock. But you… Isa, I want to check, do you mind me telling you this? I’ll stop if you want.”

  “No,” Isa said. She’d allowed the ball to start rolling; she might as well see where it went. “It’s okay. Go ahead.”

  “All right. It’s possible I’m reading you wrong, so bear that in mind. And hell knows, I’m just a medic, not a psychologist. Also, not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve—you could just be hiding it well. Some people are reserved like that. But what I noticed is that you don’t seem to care that you survived. It almost seems like a burden to you.”

  Isa heaved a sigh. “That’s…yeah. You’ve got it right.”

  Stefana tilted her head. “Why would anyone feel that way?”

  Later on, when Isa reflected on the conversation where Stefana had winkled the truth out of her—the first and last time Isa spoke of those things—it struck her as odd how easy it was to tell an almost-stranger everything that had been bottled up for so long. The words that flooded from her mouth would have been slow, hesitant, and difficult if she’d been speaking to anyone she knew well. Yet with the medic, s
he was finally able to break down the dam that she’d built up inside herself over years.

  She told Stefana of all her fellow Noctus who remained enslaved at Sirius, and of everyone who had died at Victoria. She explained how it had been by the merest fluke that she herself remained alive, and how that fact filled her with guilt. She even told Stefana of the thoughts that overwhelmed her sometimes: that she owed something to the people who had died, and that she must live a perfect life in order to somehow make it up to them.

  She also told her of the frequent nightmares she experienced, which returned her to the hard, dangerous life she’d once lived. Lastly, she confessed what had happened to her on her first visit to the crystal cave, where her nightmares had played out in her waking moments, mixed in with flashbacks to real events.

  Finally, what seemed a long time later, Isa had told Stefana everything. She felt unburdened and somewhat relieved, also a little embarrassed. But overall, she was just as troubled as before. It had been good to get it all off her chest, but she didn’t really feel any better.

  Stefana had listened in silence. She waited several moments, giving Isa time to say more.

  When she didn’t, Stefana said, “I’m sorry. That has to be a horrible way to live.”

  “No,” Isa protested. “It really isn’t. I have so much happening in my life, and people who love me—”

  She remembered Martin, and her chest grew tight.

  “But still, why go through all that when you don’t have to? You must know there are treatments for your psychological problems. I’m not a doctor, but I’m sure there’s a lot they could do to help you.”

  Isa pressed her lips together and shook her head.

  “Why not ask?” Stefana asked.

  “I know about the treatments you mean,” Isa said. “You’re talking about memory modification. I don’t want that. I don’t want to forget those times.”

  “Huh? Why would you want to cling to a past that keeps returning to haunt you?”

  “It isn’t the past I want to hold on to,” said Isa. “It’s the people. Don’t you see? There’s nothing left of them. All they are is memories, and if mine are wiped, all those people will be gone forever. It’ll be like killing them again.”

  Stefana shut her eyes. When she opened them again, they were wet. “I don’t think it has to be like that. Let me speak to someone for you, okay?”

  Isa wasn’t at all convinced that Stefana was right, but she said, “Okay. If you want.”

  The medic left, and Isa lay back on her pillows, suddenly exhausted. She slipped into sleep.

  * * * * *

  When she awoke for the second time, all her fogginess was gone, and the harsh reality of everything that had happened returned to her with a brutal speed. As she pushed down her covers and opened her eyes, she saw someone on their way out of her room. The person turned at the sound of Isa’s movements.

  “Ah,” the doctor said, “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

  “No, I don’t think so,” Isa said and covered her mouth as she yawned.

  “My name’s Dr. Hicks. Stefana, one of the hospital’s medics, came to see me earlier. About you. I believe she told you she was going to?” He smiled a small, slightly flustered smile.

  “She did,” Isa said, “and I appreciate her concern for me, but I won’t be using your services. I can manage. I’m fine really.”

  “Hmm… Perhaps if I could explain?”

  Isa checked the time. It was mid-afternoon, so she had several hours to wait for Erin. “Go ahead,” she said heavily. She pulled herself upright and rested her arms over her covers.

  “From what Stefana told me, I think you may have underestimated how far along we are with memory manipulation techniques,” Dr. Hicks said. “You seem to believe that all we can do is wipe selected memories. That isn’t true.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. The technique is far more advanced than that. It’s as selective as we need it to be. We can achieve a lot more than you probably imagine. I don’t want to be too premature…. I would need to complete a full assessment before I can suggest the exact ways we might help you, but in my opinion, you would be unwise to dismiss the treatment out of hand.”

  When she hesitated, Dr. Hicks said, “Isa, what do you have to lose?”

  He was right, she knew she couldn’t keep living like this. If Stefana and these doctors could see it impacting her, so must everyone else. “Okay,” she said.

  Dr. Hicks contacted his colleague, Dr. Gabriel, and when the second doctor arrived, Isa had to go over everything she’d told Stefana, and more besides. The doctors asked her numerous questions about her memories and their associated emotions. They also asked her about all the mental symptoms she’d experienced over the years, their frequency and timing of their occurrence. By the time the assessment session was finally finished, Isa was tired of speaking about it all.

  “Seems straightforward enough to me,” Dr. Hicks said to his colleague. “What do you think?”

  “Textbook,” Dr. Gabriel replied. She said to Isa, “I’m very confident we can treat you. We can perform something called a limbic decoupling. You won’t lose your traumatic memories, but you won’t experience the negative emotions you currently associate with them. As a result, over time, the flashbacks and nightmares you suffer should gradually decrease, because your subconscious will have nothing to feed off.”

  “I won’t forget anything?”

  “Not a thing,” Dr. Hicks said. “You’ll be able to recall people, places, and events just the same as you can now, only the memories won’t have the same traumatic effects that you’ve been experiencing.”

  “That does sound different from what I imagined,” Isa said. “But I don’t know. It almost feels wrong somehow. Like cheating.”

  “Cheating?” Dr. Gabriel raised her eyebrows at Hicks.

  “I mean, those things happened. They were bad. It’s normal that I should feel bad when I remember them.”

  “Okay,” Dr. Hicks said. “I think I understand you, though my guess is that your objection is a symptom of your condition. But look at it like this. You came here yesterday with….” He looked up as he read her notes on the Link. “A shot to your thigh, abrasions on your hands and knees, severe dehydration, and head trauma. Right?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you’re better now? Everything fixed? Feel okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “Good. Now would you say the treatment you received today was cheating? Would it have been fairer somehow if the doctors let you suffer a bit more, or maybe just didn’t treat you at all and let you heal over the course of weeks or months?”

  Isa had no counterargument. “I see what you’re saying.”

  “Great,” Dr. Gabriel said. “I’m glad we got that sorted out. So do you want to go ahead? It isn’t a run-of-the-mill treatment, but we’re pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. You’re not the first person—Noctus or otherwise—to have issues with what we all left behind.” She gave Hicks a knowing look, but then smiled at Isa. “It only takes an hour or so, depending on how many memories we treat. In your case, I would say a couple of hours, tops.”

  “Okay then,” said Isa, feeling like a massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

  “You want to do it?” Hicks asked. He clasped his hands together, looking like a kid who’d been given the Link access.

  Fighting the urge to laugh, Isa said, “Yes, I do.”

  “You don’t want to think about it for a while?” Dr. Gabriel asked. “You can come back any time, or have the treatment performed on Carthage. You’re from there, right?”

  “Yeah, I am,” Isa replied. “No, now that I’ve decided, I want to get it over with. What about now?”

  “If you’re positive this is what you want, now would be fine,” said Dr. Hicks.

  * * * * *

  Erin looked tired when she walked into Isa’s hospital room that evening. Isa was happy to see her and very
ready to leave.

  “Sorry I’m so late,” Erin said. “Lots of clearing up to do.”

  “Oh yeah? What all were you up to?” Isa asked.

  “I was helping to dismantle the bombs and catalogue the antimatter, making sure it was all accounted for—which it has been, barring what we estimated went off here and on Irridia. Can’t leave that stuff lying around. But we got it all and it’s on its way to the Intrepid now. Safely out of the way of sticky-fingered terrorists.”

  Isa said. “So you’ve been all over Tyre?”

  “Yeah, just about,” Erin replied. “That’s why it took me so long. I’ve been to Samuel Jefferson’s vineyards. Every single one. I’ve never seen vineyards with so few grapevines before. Like, zero.”

  “It’s just as well,” said Isa. “I bet any wine he made would have tasted terrible. So that’s where the SSS had planted the bombs?”

  “Yeah,” Erin said. “I figured it out eventually. Tyre’s an interesting place. It’s a pity we have to leave, but I expect Tanis is going to want to conduct a face-to-face debriefing as soon as possible. This whole thing turned out to be bigger than we imagined. I hope New Canaan isn’t harboring any more SSS scum.”

  “A debriefing? Will I have to go too?” Isa asked.

  “Almost certainly. You were hanging out with a terrorist cell, after all.”

  “I was, wasn’t I?” Isa said almost dejectedly. “And there I was thinking I was making a boring old infomentary. So I’ll get to meet the governor of New Canaan.”

  “You haven’t met her yet?”

  “No. What’s she like?” Isa asked.

  “Tanis is really nice,” Erin replied, “in a scary kind of way.”

  “Nice, but scary. Hmm. You aren’t exactly selling her, you know.”

  “Don’t stress about it,” said Erin. “Just answer her questions as well as you can, and you’ll be fine.”

  “I’m not stressing about it,” Isa said. “In fact, I’ve never felt better.”