by Dee Burks
“The doc said he was gonna be all right, didn’t he?” Darren stood in the doorway frowning at her as she nodded. Darren cleared his throat and shuffled his feet. Tears made him antsy. His eyes opened wide as Samantha rushed toward him and hid her head in his chest. The initial shock gave way to uneasiness as Darren awkwardly tried to comfort her. Not sure exactly what to do with his hands, he finally decided that a stiff pat on her quivering shoulder was the way to go.
“It’s gonna be all right.” Darren said the words as much to himself as to her. He glanced toward the bed as Samantha sniffled. He had never envied an injured man until this second, and something about having to deal with an emotional female made him think that being shot wasn’t all that bad. At least you could be unconscious through this part. His attention snapped back to her when he realized Samantha stared up at him, her brows furrowed.
“Did anyone ever tell you that you offer about as much comfort as a tall board?” She smiled and turned back to Taos.
“Haven’t had much practice at it, but I intend to work on it.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Why all the water?”
Samantha glanced at Taos. “I said some really terrible things to him the last few days.” She sniffled. “I couldn’t have lived with myself if, well, you know.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said as he watched one last straggler slide down her cheek. He felt an instinctive urge to brush it off with his thumb as if it would ease the pain. Instead he shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at this brother.
Darren had been more worried about the things that needed saying. Not that he really doubted that Taos knew how he felt, but somehow the time had never really come to tell him out loud.
“Aunt Mattie always said that at the end of life it’s the things you didn’t do, didn’t try, or didn’t say that you regret the most.” She stared into nothing lost in thought.
Darren squinted at her. It was like she could hear his thoughts out loud. Taos and Charlie both told him that she could read minds, but sometimes they exaggerated things. The sun streamed into the window as it marched toward the horizon. There were animals to feed and a section of fence to check before dark.
Samantha started toward the door. “I’ll fix you something to eat before you go.”
A little chill crept up his back. “Go where?”
“Feed stock and check that fence.” Her voice trailed off as she walked down the hall.
“It’s a sorry day when a man can’t even think in front of a woman.” He mumbled and followed her.
A sharp knock sounded at the back door just as Samantha set a plate of ham and eggs in front of Darren. Billy Baker’s red head came into view as he peeked through the screen.
“Miss Sammy?” He held a letter and she motioned him inside. The boy stopped and stared at Darren’s plate.
“Is that for me?” Samantha asked.
Billy’s head jerked back to her. “Oh, uh, yeah, ma’am. Ma said you could come get it like everybody else, but I thought it might be important.” His gaze drifted back to the steaming eggs. Darren paused, the fork half way to his mouth, as he eyes met Billy's.
The boy licked his lips.
“Can’t eat being stared at.” Darren groused.
“Would you like to join us?” Samantha smiled at Darren’s irritation.
“Um, my ma might not ’preciate it.” He shuffled his feet.
“She won’t know if you don’t tell her.”
Billy grinned and nodded, trying to scoot out of the way as Tommy barreled in the back door.
“Smells like breakfast.” A small dirt cloud rose as Tommy whacked the front of his jeans with his ragged straw hat.
“Hey!” Darren frowned, swiping at the dust that now filled the kitchen.
Tommy shrugged, “Fell down.”
Samantha gazed at the writing on the envelope. It was from Mattie. She felt a tingle of excitement. The postmark was dated just a week ago and well after John had left Boston. He had lied! She was alive. No matter what was in the letter, Mattie was alive! She slid the precious communication into her pocket and quickly fixed more eggs.
Both boys sat at the table.
“How come you’re eatin’ with us?” Tommy tilted his head at Billy.
“She said I could.”
“Because we feed every stray that wonders through the f-fence, that’s why.” Darren picked up his plate and cup and went to the porch to eat, away from the greedy stares of the youngsters. He let the door bang loudly.
Billy’s eyebrows popped up.
“He’s always grumpy when he’s hungry.” Tommy heaved a sigh.
Samantha had the boys eating large helpings of eggs, ham and biscuits in no time, then hurried upstairs and checked on Taos. He was still sleeping. She sat in a chair in the corner and tore the envelope open. Her heart pounded and excited, happy tears filled her eyes as she read.
Taos opened his eyes and tried to focus. Samantha came into view as she sat and read a letter. She smiled from ear to ear, crying at the same time. He must still be dreaming. The pain in his shoulder distracted him for a moment and he stared at the ceiling, willing it to the back of his mind. Samantha shifted in the chair and laughed a little at something she read. He snapped his eyes shut as she glanced toward him. He peeked with one eye to make sure she was concentrating on her letter again.
She was beautiful. She was mean too. The last few days had been nothing but frustration, only to end up with him getting shot. He was beginning to think that every ounce of human kindness had drained out of her before Lawson showed up again. He‘d known prize pigs that were treated better than she’d treated him. Maybe this whole event had changed her attitude. Now was a perfect time to see. He grunted and shifted a little to get her attention. She rushed to the bed, still clutching her letter.
“Taos?”
He groaned and cracked his eyelids open a fraction.
She sat on the edge of the bed and put her palm against his forehead. “Are you awake?”
“Yeah, I guess I am.” He tried to make his voice weak and thready.
She grinned and held up her letter. “Guess what! Mattie is alive and she wants me to come home!” She reread the letter silently for the tenth time as Taos stared at her. “She says that she is up and around, and has been worried sick about me.”
“Must be nice to have someone care about you.”
The tone of his voice surprised her and she looked up at his angry face. “What’s wrong?”
He shifted and leaned, struggling to prop pillows underneath him. “I’m shot, and all you can think about now is getting back to Boston.” He pounded at the pillows in frustration, using what little strength he had. He was weak as a kitten. “No, ‘I’m sorry for getting you shot’ or ‘I’m sorry I was such a shrew’ or even ‘Are you hungry?” He grunted.
Samantha slowly rose to her feet, “I’m not a shrew.”
“I beg to differ.” He refused to look at her, but stole a glance every time she turned her back.
“You can beg all you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that I was merely responding to the ill treatment you were dishing out. Not only that, but you were obviously pretending a minute ago with all that groaning just to try and get me to feel sorry for you.”
“I should have known it wouldn’t work.” His shoulder hurt worse now and he scrunched down in the bed.
“I have been worried sick about Mattie since I got here, and I just found out she isn’t dead. Why are you making me feel like I’m the one in the wrong?”
“’Cause you are.” It was the only response he could think of. He immediately felt like a whiny little boy. He was glad Mattie was alive, too. But he did not want Samantha running off to Boston when things were not right between them.
“No, I’m not. And as far as you getting shot, it’s just too bad he didn’t hit you in the mouth.”
He glared at her then stared out the window.
“Mattie wants me to come home. Do you want me to go?”
>
He continued to stare out the window. It was time for her to choose. Taos was her husband, but he couldn’t force her to stay. “I won’t stop you.”
She nodded stoically and headed toward the adjoining door to her room. It closed quietly behind her. Taos felt like he’d been stabbed in the heart.
Chapter 27
Samantha plopped down on her bed and propped her chin in her hands. Part of her heart expected him to call her name. She listened for the better part of a half hour, but nothing. There was no question now. He didn’t care enough to court her and getting shot on her account had made up his mind. Mattie was alive, and she wanted Samantha to come home. She stood and looked slowly around the room. This was home. She shook her head and cleared her throat. He would never see one tear. No sir, not one. She was through crying. Samantha threw herself into packing; it was easier to be busy.
Darren pushed open the door and stuck his head into Taos’s room. Dark was closing in, and he could see his brother sitting up in bed, staring out the window. The house had a strange quiet to it. He couldn’t explain it, but it just didn’t seem right.
“You coming in or not?”
Darren walked to the window and stared out into the shadows. “How you feelin’?”
Silence.
“Doc said you were gonna be fine.”
“You check that fence?” The tone of his voice told Darren there was more wrong with Taos than a bullet wound.
“Yeah, needs s-some work. Not too much though.”
Silence again.
“Could get to it at the end of the week if you’re up to it by then.”
“Yeah, I ain’t hurt too bad.” Taos took a deep breath.
“I wasn’t too s-sure for a minute there.” Darren tugged at the curtain, grappling with uncomfortable emotions.
Taos chuckled. “Takes more than one bullet to kill a Williams.”
“Don’t go around testing that theory out. I’d miss you around here, you know.”
“I know.”
Darren breathed a sigh of relief in the now near dark room. “How about some light in here?” He flipped on the lamp.
“What I’d really like is some food. I’m starving.”
“Where’s Sammy?” Darren quirked up an eyebrow as he just now realized she hadn’t been downstairs.
“She’s leaving.”
Darren went still. Apparently quite a few things had transpired since he left. “Why?”
“I told her to go.”
“You what?” Darren looked as incredulous as he sounded.
Taos groaned, annoyed at having to explain himself. “She got a letter from Mattie asking her to come home, and she asked me if she should go. And I said, ‘Go.’ It’s as simple as that.”
“That’s not all there is to it.” Darren knew Taos thought he could make a cow patty into chocolate cake if he laid on enough icing.
The muscle in Taos’s jaw twitched as he worked his teeth back and forth and ignored the comment.
“What did you do?”
“She started it.”
“I’ll j-just bet.” The accusation was clear.
“I woke up and all she could talk about was going home. She didn’t even care that I was shot.” Taos frowned.
Darren rubbed his fist across his forehead in frustration.
“I was protecting her you know. She could have shown a little concern.”
Darren shook his head like he was scolding a naughty two-year-old.
“Then, after I saved her life, she had the nerve to say that it was too bad the guy didn’t shoot me in the mouth.”
“I h-happen to agree with her.” Darren started toward the door.
“She never planned to stay, Darren. I just let her off the hook.
Darren stopped, “Are you really that stupid, big brother?”
Taos narrowed his eyes at Darren. One of these days he’d learn what women were really like. “Are you bringing me something to eat?”
“Why don’t you chew on those big f-feet you keep putting in your mouth?” The door slammed behind him.
Chapter 28
Samantha breathed in the cool morning air. God’s first breath, Aunt Mattie would say. Walking slowly along the path toward the rose garden, she gazed upward as just a suggestion of light appeared on the horizon, mixing deep lavender and pink in an awesome display of creation. It wasn’t cold, but she still shivered, hugging her arms around her waist. She rounded the bend in the creek and stopped.
The garden was quiet, the air perfectly still. No insects hummed, no birds twittered in the tree tops, and faint light illuminated the petals of hundreds of roses like tiny Chinese lanterns. Samantha stared, soaking in the scene. She wanted to remember the color of each blossom, the turn of every twig, the awesome presence of peace. She willed the sight to be permanently rooted in her brain. It held more beauty than any place she had ever been, and more pain than any place she could ever imagine.
As the light grew and painted the sky, a faint yellow-pink hue illuminated the tiny angel statue inch by inch. The fabric of Samantha’s skirt clung to the tiny rose thorns as she approached. Kneeling, she softly ran her hand over the white stone wings. They were cool to the touch, but warm to her heart. This was where it had started. Here in this garden, with this one secret. This was where she started to love Taos. Not the idea of him she’d carried in her heart for nine years, but the real man he was now. She replayed the many times she and Taos sparred and jabbed like knights of old with their words. They seemed like a thousand tiny paper cuts to her soul, each by itself small and insignificant, but together they left her spirit bloody and bruised.
She rose and dusted herself off. Aunt Mattie always said that if being wrong about a man was a crime, then half the female gender would be in the slammer. The problem was she didn’t feel like she had been wrong. It felt like they were still connected even if the love was mostly on her part.
“I may be going, but I ’m afraid my heart won’t be coming with me.” Just saying it out loud, made it seem so final. There was always a way, she knew, if the want was there, but she honestly couldn’t see it this time. A brick wall had sprouted between them, where a clear path had stood just days ago. Her efforts had proven futile and she was out of ideas and out of hope as Taos had retreated into his shell again. Her shoulders slumped as she turned to leave.
A slight breeze stirred the bushes and the tinkling soft sound of a baby laughing washed over her. She smiled. Maybe she was crazy, but she suddenly felt lighter and reassured. “If something’s going to change I’m going to need some help.” The sound faded into the rustling tress and she straightened her shoulders and walked toward the house.
Darren loaded Jake’s old trunk full of Samantha’s things into the wagon as she pulled on her gloves.
“You don’t have to go.” He paused and looked at her. “He didn’t mean it you know.”
“He said it, and this one time I’m going to give him what he wants.” She glanced toward the barn where Taos had hidden all morning. “He’s done a great deal for me, and the least I can do at this point is to honor his request.”
Darren shook his head as he loaded the last box into the wagon. “Does he know you’re just going to your cabin?”
“No, but it doesn’t matter. I need time to think, and whether I go to Boston today or a week from today doesn’t matter. I won’t be Taos’s problem anymore.”
“Where’s Tommy?”
“We already said our goodbyes. I told him he was welcome to come see me over at the cabin anytime he wants. That goes for you too, you know.”
Darren opened his arms to accept her hug. Maybe he was getting better at this, ’cause this wasn’t bad at all. In fact he was sorry when she let go. He helped her into the wagon and glanced toward the barn. He knew Taos was watching, but refused to make any appearance.
“Coward.” Darren grumbled as he disengaged the brake.
Samantha sat ramrod straight in the wagon and refused to turn
and look for him, even though every muscle in her body yearned to do so.
Taos stood in the shadows of the barn until they were out of sight. She didn’t look back, even seemed pleased about going. He went back to the house. It was quiet and very empty. Heavy boots scraping along the floor were the only sound as he wandered upstairs and walked down the hall. He leaned against the door jamb to her room. Her presence still pervaded the room, like she had just stepped out of the room, not out of his life. He sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, then laid back and stared at the ceiling. His long legs dangled off the side of the bed. Her sweet scent still clung to the linens. He didn’t really think she would leave, not without saying a word—or two or three. He expected a fight, or at least a struggle. She had given up without even a whimper. It seemed there was some invisible line in the sand that he crossed and she just let him.
He lay on the bed for what seemed hours, then eventually made his way to the study and the bottle. That's where he was when Charlie came home.
“You drinkin’ that or just watching it?” He dropped into a chair opposite the desk and whacked his hat on one thin knee, raising a small cloud of dust.
Taos swirled the amber liquid for the hundredth time and ignored the question.
“You know she’s over at her place, right?”
He nodded. Tommy couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it. Taos was relieved she wasn’t completely gone yet, but still it was just a matter of time.
“So? Are you going to go get her?” Charlie asked.
“Nobody can make Sammy do anything she doesn’t want to do.” He let that sink in. “If she wants to come back, she will.”
“You’re an idiot.” Charlie gave a disgusted sigh and stomped from the office.
He had no idea what to say to her anyway, and even if she came back she’d just leave again. He really didn’t like the idea of her staying at the cabin alone though. While Lawson wasn’t a threat anymore, a woman alone in a remote cabin wasn’t a good thing either. He just hadn’t figured out how to handle that part of it yet.
