by Dee Burks
He stood and grabbed his hat on the way out. The only thing to do was go back to work. At least there was something he was still good at.
Chapter 29
Samantha stared into the fire and sipped a cup of tea. It was the morning of the twenty-third day since she’d packed up and left Taos. The cabin had been a refuge the last few weeks, but still, she didn’t sleep at night. She told herself it was because she wasn’t used to being completely alone, but that wasn’t really the truth. The second she closed her eyes all she saw was him. His smile, his touch, the sound of his voice.
Darren, Charlie, and Tommy visited regularly and often had dinner at her house. She loved having them over, but no matter what they always asked when she was coming home. She’d run out of excuses, and now things were just plain complicated.
She knew Taos watched over the cabin. On occasion she’d seen him ride by at a distance, and she felt his gaze many times even when she couldn’t see him. But not once had he come close enough to speak to her. It convinced her that she’d been right to leave. He might still feel responsible for her in some way, but he didn’t want her around.
The first week she’d cried. The whole week. Every day. Eventually the tears had slowed but even now, weeks later, they would creep up on her every so often at the most unexpected times. Samantha was thoroughly and utterly heartbroken. She spent countless hours staring out the window at her mother’s headstone. Her mother had died of a broken heart and Samantha could never understand it. She could never understand the kind of love that could make a woman choose death over life. Unfortunately, now she did. There is pain much worse than actually dying, and only now could she understand how devastated her mother had been when her father was killed.
The weather had turned and the first flakes of snow were falling. She had to make a decision soon. It wasn’t practical to stay here alone during the harsh mountain winter, but so far she’d clung to some sort of hope that things would work out. Now, even that seemed farfetched.
A knock at the door dragged her from her thoughts. Charlie said he was bringing her a surprise this morning, but she had no idea what. She swung the door wide open. Standing on her porch was Mattie.
“Sweetheart!” Mattie rushed toward Samantha with open arms and the women clutched one another, laughing and crying.
The sweet scent of lilac and lavender filled Samantha’s senses like a favorite memory. She held Mattie at arm’s length and grinned through her tears. “You are the best thing I’ve seen in such a long time!”
The petite woman placed her hands on her hips and gave her head a saucy toss. “Watch the flattery, honey. You know it goes straight to my head!” They laughed again. “You look tired.”
Samantha nodded and ran a hand through her hair. She felt like a piece of old wadded newspaper.
“It’s more than that, isn’t it?” Mattie’s discerning eyes sliced through the brave front.
Samantha whispered. “My heart is tired.”
“Now that requires some explanation. Paul can make us some tea and we’ll talk.”
Samantha spotted Paul carrying Mattie’s luggage toward the cabin. Once Charlie had them settled Samantha gave him a big hug.
“Thank you so much, Charlie!”
“No problem, honey. Just let me know if I can do anything else for you.” He smiled and left, giving the women the time to get reacquainted.
Paul busied himself making tea, and Mattie sat on the bench in front of the windows with Samantha.
They sat in silence for a while, taking in the glorious view of the mountains until Paul brought their tea.
“What happened?”
Samantha’s cup rattled slightly as she sat it down. Mattie was nothing if not direct. “Where do you want me to begin?”
“At the beginning, of course.”
The story trickled at first, then gained strength until it became a torrent of emotional rapids. Mattie grinned as Samantha told of being tied up and “rescued” by Taos, then went into a full belly laugh at her description of the “instruction” under Cinnamon’s tutelage. Tommy’s swim lesson, the rose garden. Everything leapt forward. As Samantha talked, Mattie watched her closely. She could almost put her finger on the moment she realized Samantha was desperately in love with Taos. The girl’s voice softened and her eyes took on a faraway expression. Mattie remembered that feeling well. It was like warm honey flowing over your heart.
“Oh, and by the way,” Samantha narrowed her eyes at her aunt. “Why didn’t you tell me I was married?”
It was Mattie’s turn to squirm. “Well, there wasn’t time. You had to go so suddenly.”
“I mean before that.”
“I was going to, but the time never seemed right. It was just a paperwork snafu anyway.”
“That’s no excuse.”
Mattie leaned forward and waited until Samantha leaned toward her. “Sweetheart,” she whispered. “You’re a married woman.”
She grinned smugly at the frown Samantha wore. “There. I’ve told you. Does that make you happy?”
The woman’s smile was infectious and Samantha couldn’t help herself. “Yes, that makes me happy.” She paused and took another sip of tea. “Or, at least it did.”
“Would you have married him anyway?”
Samantha laughed, “Yes. I almost did.”
“When was this?”
“Shortly after John Lawson showed up. Taos asked me—no, make that told me—that we had to get married. So he dragged the preacher over to the whorehouse . . .”
“He what?!” Mattie choked on her tea. “You better start over.”
Samantha recounted every detail as Mattie dabbed tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes. Lawson’s mad dash to the outhouse had Mattie begging Samantha to stop.
“I declare, my stomach’s going to be sore for a week! I don’t think I ever laughed so much in my whole life.” She waved a white handkerchief to fan her face as Samantha grew quiet.
They sat in silence until finally Mattie asked, “Do you regret what happened?”
The question surprised Samantha, and a quick answer was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't let it go. Did she regret it?
“Well?”
Samantha sat her cup on the table. “I was just about to say yes, but that wouldn’t be true.”
Mattie waited as the girl organized her thoughts.
“You wouldn’t think it would be very pleasant to be tied up and gagged, kidnapped, rescued again, and forced to the point of marriage, but it changed me somehow.” She met her aunt’s knowing eyes. “If I could redo the whole thing, the only thing I would change would be the last day.”
“When he told you to go?”
“Yes. I only left because I thought he would come after me.”
“That’s a very dangerous game, Samantha. What if he doesn’t?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t know.” But she did know. This wasn’t home anymore, he was home.
Mattie poured more tea for them and they both enjoyed the evening. It was astonishing to Mattie that Samantha had left Boston a few months ago a head strong girl and had suddenly become a grown woman. She knew Samantha would go to him, she had to. The older woman smiled to herself. Of course, if that boy had any sense he would be on her doorstep on his knees.
Chapter 30
The bright sunlight of early morning cast a tall shadow as Taos marched toward the hotel in town. He’d come to pick up a very special item from the mercantile and wanted to stop and have something to eat before heading home. He missed Samantha in every way possible and had taken to avoiding his house. A lot. He worked, but even much of that time he spent riding near her cabin hoping to catch just a glimpse of her now and then. He didn’t really sleep much these days, and he definitely drank way too much.
He’d lost weight, and meal times were especially hard. His brothers and son ate with Samantha several times a week, but he knew he wasn’t invited. Well, she probably wouldn’t refuse to feed
him if he showed up. She fed every stray. But he knew he couldn’t be around her and not sweep her into his arms, whether she wanted him to or not.
Actually he’d considered doing just that. His kisses had melted her heart before, but this time was different. If he pushed her too far she just might run all the way to Boston, and he couldn’t even think what his life would be like then.
“Going somewhere, Mr. Williams?” Mavis strolled up beside him, having to double step to keep up with him.
“Yup.” He kept walking. He needed to think, not talk. His politeness was forced. “You going somewhere?”
She nodded. “Going for a quick bite before I catch the stage to Cimarron at 9:15.”
He stopped in front of the hotel restaurant. Damn, they were really busy this morning. People waited on benches just inside. He decided to wait outside to avoid them as much as possible. “Don’t you want to wait inside with the others?” He asked Mavis. Maybe she would take the hint.
She smiled. “I create enough talk without having to be within earshot of it.”
He snorted. “Bet that’s right.” It was out of his mouth before he realized it. He abruptly faced her. “I mean, uh . . . I mean I didn’t mean anything . . .”
She let him stumble through the half apology. “That’s quite alright. When the day comes that I don’t stir up talk, then I’ll be upset.”
“Yes Ma’am.” He shuffled his feet, trying not to smile.
A strong wind swirled snowflakes around them.
Mavis frowned, “Well, unfortunately it looks like I’ll have to brave the crowd or freeze to death.”
He nodded his agreement and stepped inside as well.
The hostess sat people wherever there was an empty seat and Taos surveyed the possibilities. It was either a woman with a hat that looked as if it contained half a dead flower garden or a salesman with his suitcase of wares within easy reach to pitch to his dinner mate. The hostess was completely distracted, trying to figure out what to do with Mavis. It was a touchy situation because they couldn’t seat the town madam with just anyone. Taos spotted a couple getting up from a table and motioned for Mavis to join him.
“To what do I owe that very timely rescue, Mr. Williams?”
“Desperation.”
She glanced over at the woman with the strange hat. “Too bad you didn’t choose her. You could have at least discovered what milk cow she got that hat off of.”
Taos grinned, then laughed out loud. Several people turned and stared.
Mavis glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Mr. Williams, I believe you were in need of a good laugh.”
“Yes, ma’am, I was.” He twirled his hat in his hand. “So you’re on your way to Cimarron today?”
Her eyes scanned the patrons and she lowered her voice. “Yes, I have to see an old friend.”
“I didn’t think y’all made house calls.”
“We don’t.” She paused, “But now that I think about it, there might be a market for such a thing.” She winked at him. “I’ll think about it.” She smoothed her navy silk dress across her knees. “Actually, it concerns one of my daughters.”
“Daughters? I thought there was just Cinnamon.”
“No, there is another one. What about you?”
Taos took the hint to let it go. “I had to pick up something over at the mercantile and then I’m heading home.”
“You’re not going to see Samantha?”
Of course she knew. Everyone in town knew Samantha had left him. The silence lengthened between them.
They ordered their meal and the waitress brought them coffee.
“You know, there was a time when I had a chance to choose.” Mavis focused out the window. “I was young and stubborn, and I thought that to love someone was weak, and needy, and I wanted no part of it.”
She definitely had his attention.
“I thought independence was everything.”
He nodded. He prized his own independence highly, and so did Sammy as far as that goes.
“I wanted to take care of myself and not feel obligated to anyone, so I did and I’m not.”
He had to admire her spunk, if not her chosen profession. “Then you got what you wanted.”
After a minute she sighed. “Yes and no.”
He hated it when women talked in circles. “It can’t be yes and no. It has to be one or the other.”
“Life isn’t that simple, Taos. That’s why there’s that old saying about be careful what you wish for. Oh, I’m certainly independent, but also quite lonely.”
“You have lots of, um, friends.”
“That’s business, and knowing what I know now, I would trade it all for the privilege to love and be loved by one man.”
She paused and waited until he looked at her again. “It’s a very precious thing, and you don’t realize it when you’re young.” She held his gaze. “Youth does that to you. Gives you that optimism that there will be a multitude of opportunities. You never think that you might only get one chance.”
She snapped her fingers. “Just like that the chance is gone and you spend the rest of your life trying to find it again.”
They lapsed into silence again, each immersed in their own thoughts. Taos rubbed his knuckle across his lower lip. Something he could only describe as a nervous chill gripped him. One chance, one opportunity. How many women would he get the chance to tie up and drag home? His expression started as a smile as he thought about how he dragged Sammy home that first night, then quickly faded to a frown. He had lived thirty years in this town and not so much as one woman of interest had crossed his path until she showed up. What if thirty turned to forty and forty to fifty?
They ate most of their meal in companionable silence.
Mavis said, “Can I ask you something?”
He nodded.
“Do you love her?”
He knew the answer immediately, but hesitated. “I, um, don’t take change very well.”
Mavis smiled, “Your life has already changed. You’re just too stubborn to admit it yet.”
“I guess I am a little on the stubborn side,” he shrugged.
Her expression turned stern. “I can tell you exactly what being stubborn makes you, Mr. Williams. And that’s alone.”
He stared into his coffee.
Alone.
It was such a tiny word to hold what promised to be an entire lifetime of regret.
“Samantha loves you, you know.”
He shook his head. Mavis had no idea how things had been between them.
“If she didn’t love you, she’d be in Boston.”
Taos couldn’t afford to scare her off. He knew his best bet was to stay away. Mavis probably meant well, but he’d already made up his mind how to approach this and he was going to stick to it.
“Do you remember how Samantha’s mother died?”
The question surprised him. “Yes. She never got over Sam’s death.”
“She died of a broken heart, Taos. And Samantha is headed down the same path.”
He frowned. That wasn’t true. Was it? He thought about Claire, remembered her sitting in that rocking chair day after day. Not eating, wasting away. Was that what had been happening at the cabin? Surely not. Charlie or Darren would have said something. He wasn’t about to let that happen to Samantha, and he suddenly had a desperate urge to see her—and not from a distance this time.
Mavis paid for her breakfast and then snapped her pearl-rimmed purse shut. “I must be going.” She looked at him. “You should be going too.”
He nodded and threw some money on the table. “Yes, I’ve got somewhere I need to be.”
Chapter 31
Purple faded into a toasty yellow as the sun rose above peaks that were now capped with snow. Samantha knew in her heart this had been a mistake. A big one. Sharing the whole series of events with Mattie had made her realize how desperately she missed Taos. She had been up since three o’clock, turning possibilities over in her mind,
trying to come up with a good solution. One that would dispel her ever-growing depression, yet salvage some remnant of pride. Unfortunately, there was only one way to fix this. Go home.
Her bags were sitting by the door, waiting, ready to go. It was time for pride to sit down and shut up for once. She would just go back and explain that she had reconsidered. Maybe he had, too. If that didn’t work then there was always groveling. She grimaced. Maybe groveling was too strong a word. Ladies didn’t grovel, they pleaded. At least it sounded better. Yes, definitely. Tommy needed her, and so did Taos if he would just admit it. If reason didn’t work, then she would cook her heart out and crawl into his bed every night, whether he wanted her there or not. It had worked the first time.
Mattie’s head poked out of one room, her hair still cloaked in her pink cotton nightcap. “I thought I heard you up. It’s awfully early.”
Samantha nodded.
Mattie cleared her throat. “It’s where you belong now, with your family.”
She nodded again and pressed her fingers to her lips as they started to tremble. “Mattie.”
“Yes?”
“Thank you so much for . . . well, everything.”
Tears slid down Mattie’s cheeks. “You’re very welcome, sweetie.” She gave Samantha a hug and disappeared to get ready for the day.
Samantha heaved a big sigh of relief as excitement enfolded her. Home. She was going home.
Breakfast was an exhilarating experience. The two women talked, laughed, and shared their hearts. Maple scones dripping with butter and strawberry crème crepes disappeared as fast as Paul placed them on the table.
Samantha popped another bite of scone into her mouth and savored the buttery treat. “Paul certainly outdid himself this morning.”
Mattie giggled a little.
Samantha noticed a decided shift between Mattie and Paul. The way his eyes followed her every move and how he touched her arm ever-so-softly when he spoke to her. That clipped British tone softened almost to a caress when he spoke to Mattie these days. She knew love when she saw it.
