Hate Me, Take Me: A Hate-to-Love Duet

by Clare James

I had to walk past her to get to the washer to take a look, and that was my first mistake. She smelled a lot better than the fabric softener and the detergent, and fuck me, walking past her warmed me more than the heat when I first walked to the door.

  I was able to fix the machine with a few shakes—okay, kicks. I’m handy like that. And then we got around to talking about her day. She was so upset, she didn’t even give me crap about dissing her earlier.

  “My situation at the shelter is hopeless,” she said chewing on her lip making it hard for me to focus. “I’m not sure the grant money is going to come in on time. And then what do we do?”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her what I’d been reading about Sullivan and about how I planned to help. But I didn’t have enough information. Yet in that moment, my previous thoughts were only confirmed. I liked this girl. I wanted her. And I needed to explore it to see where it could go. Would she agree? It would all really come down to that.

  “I know this probably isn’t going to help right now,” I told her, trying so hard to provide some comfort. “But I believe in you. And I believe you can find a way out of it. Jenna, you are so freaking smart, so bright, I really don’t think there’s anything you can’t do.”

  She smiled a little at my words and it thrilled me that I put that look on her face.

  “I'm just so tired, you know?” she said with a sigh.

  “I do,” I told her, and man, I did know.

  It sucked to see the tough woman that I’d grown so fond of over the past week had fallen into such a sad, lonely place. Did I contribute to it? The way I’d been brushing her off, ignoring her whenever Tabby was around. Her vulnerability had me feeling things I didn’t want to define.

  She pulled her body up to the counter to sit. Her outfit, those little shorts paired with the winter boots, had me thinking things I didn’t want to admit.

  “I’m tired, too,” I said. “I’m tired of pretending there’s not something going on between us, and I’m tired of not acting on it.”

  We stared at each other again, as we had in the past. The electricity between us ready to short circuit the entire area. It was all coming down to this, the point of no return. Would we? Wouldn’t we? It was time to decide.

  My heart ramped up, more now than when I was with Jones on a case. I inhaled a ragged breath, trying to get a handle on some sort of control.

  I rubbed my chin, feeling the shadow of two days. I was desperate to rub the stubble across her thighs, just to see her squirm.

  She was fixated on my lips, her eyes more wild than I’d ever seen them. Fuck, I had to taste her. And I had to let her taste me.

  Jenna may have had a reputation for being hard as nails, but when I moved closer to her, she softened. Her eyes grew large, her pupils dilated, and she began breathing in short shallow breaths.

  She never took her eyes off me.

  I took another step forward and positioned myself in between her legs as she sat on the counter in front of me, lost in the creamy softness of her skin. An unexpected boldness—or brashness—took over me.

  Gripping her hips, rougher than I’d intended, I pulled her closer to me. It was a move that had her breath caught in her throat, making her lips part. It was perfect.

  I took the next part slow, because I was a bastard like that. I enjoyed delayed gratification, and I’d been wondering what she’d taste like for so many dark days now. The thought of capturing those lips between my teeth and sinking into her pump skin, kept me up at night. And got me off in the morning.

  I wasn’t sure if I’d have another chance so I was going to indulge in every second. That mouth of hers, her snark and her sweetness, had been working its way under my skin for too long, and now it was my turn to make her pay.

  So I hovered for a beat.

  Then two.

  Before pulling that pump lip into my mouth where I sucked and nipped and savored. She was better than I expected, flavors of sweet and spice swimming together. That was Jenna.

  I moved my hands and spread them on the small of her back, protective and possessive. Her sweet scent clouded my brain, but I swear there was something else just under those notes of cinnamon.

  Was it arousal?

  Christ, I was hard at the thought, and it had me grinding up against her like a horny teenager. But Jenna gave as good and she got, pushing back against me. I thought I was going to lose my fucking mind.

  My mouth didn’t move away from hers, and when she opened for me, I didn’t wait, I dove right in, stroking my tongue over hers—over and over until a soft sigh fell from her lips. I swallowed it whole.

  Then I changed the angle of the kiss going deeper, asking her for more.

  13

  Jenna

  We were both breathing so hard, so heavy, forget about aerobic pace, I think we were approaching my anaerobic threshold. And we wouldn’t last long at this rate.

  Every sound between us echoed in my head, the wet kisses, the shuffling of his feet below, not to mention the timbre of his voice when I did something he liked. Without giving it a second thought, I let my fingers tangle in his hair.

  I wanted him closer, closer. Shoot, I would have crawled right under his skin with him if I could’ve. How disturbing, but it was true, I couldn’t get enough of this man. I knew I should be aloof after all the mixed messages he’d given me, the sleepless nights, the irritation and overall disruption he’d caused in my life. I definitely shouldn’t let him have his way with me in a public laundromat for crying out loud.

  I tugged his hair then for a little payback, and nipped at his bottom lip. It was cathartic. He needed to know how much he’d tormented me, and I had to get him out of my system if I was ever expected to be able to think straight again.

  Speaking of thinking…absolutely filthy thoughts pinged around in my brain, and it was like he read my mind because he pulled me to the very end of the table so he could grind his thick length up against me. Yes, yes, yes.

  I pushed back and he groaned.

  It was glorious, and holy crap was he impressive. But the movement did little to alleviate the throbbing sensation between my legs. If anything, he made it worse. We needed more friction, and less clothes.

  “I know, Jenna,” Michael said in my ear as I gripped the ends of his T-shirt, pulling the fabric tight in my fists. I inhaled all those delicious male pheromones, unable to get my fill.

  “Can I take care of you here?” he asked me. “No one will ever know.”

  My brain scrambled. I had no idea what he meant by that. Okay, maybe some idea. If there was any question, his intentions were made clear as his hands moved from my hips down the outside of my legs, across my knees, before traveling back up my inner thighs, until they were completely hidden under my shorts.

  My entire body trembled.

  “I want to taste you so badly, Jenna. God, I bet you are so sweet. But we can’t take the chance, not here. Still, I can make you feel good. Let me?”

  I nodded because it was the only thing I could do. There was no way I could form a coherent sentence, I wasn’t even sure I could form a proper word.

  He spread my legs apart, first an inch, and then another, shielding me with his body. And once his fingers finally reached their target, after yanking my panties to the side, I know he found me wet and ready for him.

  Using a single finger, he traced a line down my center, parting me. And he groaned again, as if this was giving him pleasure. He had no idea what was happening on the other side of his fingers. I forgot how to breathe, and the room blurred at the edges. The only thing that stayed in focus was him.

  He found my tiny bundle of nerves and set his attention there. My eyes fluttered closed, and a lightshow went off behind my lids.

  I swayed as his movements made me shaky. But he had me, his arm wrapped around my waist and his hand gripping my hip, holding me to him.

  The ache between my legs magnified, and I began to hear my heartbeat in my ears. Every sensation was amplified.


  Michael leaned in, and kissed each cheek, the underside of my jaw, and over to my neck before quickly driving two fingers deep inside. My breath hitched and I grabbed his shoulders for stability. His eyes met mine at that moment, they had turned so black. He slowly pulled his fingers out of me then, and used my moisture to stimulate my clit before sliding them back in again. But this time, he crooked the ends of his fingertips and began to stroke my G spot.

  “Is this good for you?”

  When I didn't answer, he chuckled and pulled me tighter.

  “Christ, I could do this all night but I’ve got to get you off fast, baby, before we don’t have this place to ourselves anymore.”

  He didn’t wait, he went to work. He was a man on a mission. He plunged his blunt fingers inside again and began pumping into me, slow at first until they reached a fevered pace.

  I wanted to focus on this feeling. I’d never felt anything so incredible, I didn’t want it to end. But my thoughts were all jumbled, emotions and lust and logic swirling together.

  “You know this isn’t right,” I whispered, trying to make sense of what was going on in my head. He stroked again and a moan fell from my lips—yeah, my body had its own agenda.

  “You know I don’t care,” Michael responded, not relenting for a second.

  I could hardly hold myself up, the pressure was building, building. And as he drove those fingers into me one more time, any remaining thoughts disappeared, and I simply let go, allowing the force of the orgasm to rip through me, leaving no part of me untouched.

  He held me in his arms as I came apart all around him, and I’d never felt more cared for in my life.

  “Holy Shit,” I said on a sigh once I floated back down to earth.

  “You can say that again.” He smiled, brushing the hair out of my eyes. “That was so fucking hot, you have no idea.”

  “Oh, I think I have some idea.”

  I looked around the room, and thankfully, we were still alone. I’d been in such a lust-crazed stupor, I didn’t see or feel anything other than Michael. I glanced at his hands, his fingers. They were so strong, so amazingly talented. I’d never look at a man’s hands in the same way again.

  I was ridiculous…and it was all Michael’s fault.

  “Now what?” I asked, playfully, trying to keep my tone light.

  “Well,” he smirked, “I think your whites are done.”

  So in the world’s most awkward afterglow of all time, Michael and I folded my unmentionables at our local laundromat.

  You seriously could not make this shit up.

  14

  Michael

  Well, there was no coming back from that. Jenna was unraveling my resolve, and all my rules, bit by bit. I wasn’t being rational or particularly smart about any of this. I also couldn’t stop myself.

  Since I’d started training to be a police officer, I’d come to learn how to rely on my instincts—maybe that’s why the pull toward her was so strong. It was a sensation that couldn’t be explained on an intellectual level, it was a feeling, this pressing urge that was drawing me in.

  For once, I was going to follow those instincts.

  Right now, they told me not to overwhelm her, so I didn’t push my way into her apartment and I didn’t ask her to stay at mine. Even though what had happened back at the laundromat was everything I wanted—fuck that, was everything I dreamed of—I couldn’t say I wasn’t a little freaked out about the whole thing. Plus, where would we go from here? What was my next move?

  One thing I did know, without a doubt, was that today would not be the last time I touched Jenna. I could only hope that I was assessing the situation accurately. I also desperately hoped I wasn’t overestimating my prowess with the women. I mean, it sure looked like she was having a good time, but Jenna wasn’t like other girls and I had to get this right.

  “Get some rest, and I’ll talk to you in the morning,” I told her when we arrived back at the apartment, before placing the lightest of kisses on the corner of her mouth. So much had happened, it was all I dare do. I didn’t want her getting skittish and running away. Instead, I wanted us to come back together after a good night’s rest and figure out a plan.

  Right, like either of us would sleep tonight.

  * * *

  The next day, I did stop by before my shift as—what looked to be—a handyman was leaving her place. It’d been Grand Central over there lately, and it was making me a little twitchy.

  “What was he doing here?” I asked Jenna, signaling to the guy in coveralls, walking down the hallway.

  She didn’t answer me, but instead held the door open to invite me in, while she scurried around with the dogs and breakfast. She handed me a banana and cup of yogurt.

  I cringed.

  “Don’t tell me, you eat Lucky Charms for breakfast.” She rested her hands on her hips.

  “Yeah, or Frosted Flakes,” I said, peeling back the skin on the banana. That I could eat, but the yogurt would be a hard pass. “Or donuts.”

  “You better stop that habit right now, that’s way too cliché.”

  She was right, how embarrassing.

  “But really, why was that guy here?” I asked again, not willing to let her off the hook so easy.

  “I don’t know, some heating and air conditioning thing,” she said, hardly paying attention. She was too busy messing around with the Buddy Walker I’d given her earlier—and by the way she was acting, one would’ve thought I’d presented her with a diamond.

  Note to self: Jenna likes presents.

  “Hmmm, I didn’t have anyone stop by to service the heating or air at my place,” I said, an uneasy feeling pricking the back of my neck.

  She shrugged and it had me on edge, not that I was going to let her know how much. Still, I couldn’t let her indifference to strange men traipsing through her apartment go unnoticed.

  “Jen,” I said gently. “This is kind of serious. Did Dean the landlord, or anyone from his staff, inform you that your place needed maintenance?”

  “No, but that’s nothing new.” She clipped the new leash on Molly and Ruby. “Why are you getting so wigged out over this?”

  She took my hand and turned it over, before placing a light kiss on my palm. It was an easy move. A natural one. It had me thinking about what I’d done with those hands not even twenty-four hours ago and …oh yeah, she was placating me.

  “I’d just like to see that you take a little more care with the comings and goings in your apartment.”

  “The comings and goings?” She quirked an eyebrow.

  “Yes, that’s a technical term.” I returned a kiss on her palm. “It’s important for safety reasons; there are a lot of bad guys out there.” I added.

  “I’ve lived alone for a long time, you know. And I wouldn’t just let anyone inside. He was wearing a uniform, in case you didn’t notice, and I even got a work order.” She retrieved it from the table and waved it in front of my face.

  Good girl. But the uniform was a dumb argument. They were easy to pick up online. Anyone could order a uniform for anything, but I wasn’t going to argue the point right now. I did, however, make note of where she put the work order, because I would be taking a look at that later.

  That reminded me…

  My big project for my internship was coming up, and this was the perfect opportunity to get her to help me—all while I was helping her.

  “So while we’re on the subject of safety and the fact that you live alone,” I began.

  “Yes?” she said cautiously, her brows knitted together.

  “I’m starting a self-defense class for women at the gym across from the station and I could really use some practice before we start. What do you say, are you up for being a guinea pig?”

  “Of course,” she said a little easier. “But I’m not sure how much help I can be, I’ve never taken a self-defense class.”

  “Even better,” I told her. “A virgin guinea pig.”

  “Gross,” she s
aid, making the most adorable face. God, I was turning into a sap.

  Truth was, the class wasn’t just for my project. It’d been something I wanted to do for a long time. We’d have a classroom portion for the course as well, covering preventative measures for women—like where to park at night, safety on campus, party protection, and how to use pepper spray and Tasers.

  I might not have been able to prevent Tabby’s nightmare, but if I could help someone else avoid something like that, I had to try.

  “I’ll text you directions to the gym,” I said, reluctant to leave her.

  “Deal,” she said, flashing a smile that I’d come to believe was only for me.

  I wanted to kiss her then, but we hadn’t set up any rules yet. I didn’t know what this was and I still wasn’t sure what I wanted it to be. But I could feel something shifting between us. There was the heat, of course, the aching need to be close to her, but something more.

  Could she feel it too?

  I was hoping to find out tonight.

  Jenna

  After Michael left, I could finally stop pretending to be busy and quit fussing with everything. I couldn’t sit still when he was here, with all of this nervous energy buzzing through me. How was I supposed to act around him now? The guy pleasured me during the spin cycle at the laundromat.

  I released a long breath to steady my hands.

  A few times I wanted to make a wisecrack when he was here, but I didn’t know if we still did that. And he bought me a gift. When he gave it to me, I almost lost it. A lump the size of Ruby lodged in my throat. It was a double leash to help me walk the dogs. Was he for real?

  Then he showed up at my door this morning, all worried about who was coming and going from my apartment. A warm flutter filled my chest. The crazy part of it all, was that it felt normal. It felt right. I indulged in the fantasy of what it’d be like if this thing between us was real. Waking up to Michael’s tousled hair, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips as he shuffled into the kitchen to feed the dogs. Maybe he’d make me coffee, while I made eggs—and we’d bicker about donuts and sugared cereal.