Hate Me, Take Me: A Hate-to-Love Duet

by Clare James

  “That’s before I knew who you were.” I fumble for a second.

  “I knew it,” she says.

  “Look, nothing was going to happen. I was just playing along. You were so drunk. It’s not like I would’ve brought you home whether I knew who you were or not. I don’t take advantage of women.”

  “Whatever. I’ve grown up in case you haven’t noticed. I’m not her scrawny sister anymore and most guys would love to be with me.”

  “I don’t doubt that at all, Serena. I’m just not one of them.”

  “One of them what?” Aria joins us and the bottom of my stomach drops out. Why does this shit keep happening at the worst possible moments?

  “Nothing.” Serena blows it off.

  I almost want to kiss her for that.

  Gritting my teeth, I try to calm down and tell myself that Aria didn’t hear the whole conversation. It’s going to be okay.

  “So Tris,” Aria says with a smile that tells me I’m right. “Why’d you bring me down here?”

  “So what, you guys are friends again?” Serena rolls her eyes.

  “I guess you could say we’re a little more than that.” Aria leans into me.

  My heart swells, and damn, I know I’m falling all over again. But this time, it’s for Aria and her kid.

  Aria

  “So, what did you want to show me?” I ask as we walk past the diner.

  Cade comes barreling out and stands on the sidewalk bench. “Let’s go T,” he says before noticing me. “Are you coming, Mom?” he asks.

  Hey, that’s Mommy to you.

  Tris flashes his eyes my way. They’re still intense, watchful as they always are, but also full of light. He backs up to the bench toward Cade, who in turn, jumps on his back. The movement is smooth, as if rehearsed. This is not the first time they’ve done this routine.

  “She is, buddy,” Tris says when I can’t find my words.

  With my son on his back, Tris reaches for my hand. “As I was saying, I wanted to show you that there’s more to me, and us, than what we have at the beach house.”

  “Do you guys do this often?” I ask.

  “Every day.” Cade narks him out.

  His answer has me pulling my hand from Tris’s grip.

  “Every day?” I question, waiting for Tris to answer this time.

  Was this part of his plan? And did my mother fall for it too?

  It had to take some work to keep this from me, and while I know I’m on the verge of overreacting, I can’t help but feel betrayed.

  Tris reads my mind. “That’s not the reason why,” he says. “I was hanging with this dude, before I ever got in your pants.” He whispers the last part. “It was by accident, actually. Amelia needed my help one day.”

  “Amelia?”

  Oh, that woman was clearly up to something.

  “Now, let’s race to the park,” Tristan says, taking off before I can ask another question.

  As they run, I’ve never heard Caden laugh so much, and the image of those two melts away the anger. How can I be upset when I finally might be getting everything I ever wanted?

  The mood is contagious and I pick up my speed to stay neck and neck with them all the way.

  I’m high the rest of the day. It’s a dangerous situation because I’m beginning to see this thing between Tris and me working. Mom has made herself scarce, so he stays with us for dinner and Cade’s bedtime.

  “I want T to read me a story,” Cade says once he changes into his pjs.

  “Sure,” Tris says so easily. “But only if it’s a superhero story, like one of the guys on your pajamas.”

  “Okay,” Cade says, pumping his fist in the air like a game show contestant who’s just won a new car. This is the best prize to him.

  To me as well. Tonight has felt more like the family life I’ve always wanted. More than it ever did with Alex.

  Tris helps me with anatomy and then does a bit of his own work as I finish up. And though I want to haul him in my room and get him naked once we finish, I’m fine making out on the couch. More than fine.

  Too soon, he’s saying his goodbyes.

  * * *

  “I’ll quiz you tomorrow night too if you want,” he says.

  “I don’t know about that, I think we did more kissing than studying. You’re not the best influence on me, Professor Green.”

  “But it’s Wednesday tomorrow.” He smirks.

  “Fine.” I pretend to be put out. “But only if you’re on your best behavior.”

  Tris traces an X over his heart. “Oh, and bring that ancient paper planner you’re so fond of.”

  “Don’t knock the planner. It doesn’t fail me when my phone isn’t charged. Sometimes paper is just better.”

  “Whatever, just bring it.”

  “Why?” I ask. It’s a strange request.

  “Because I need you to make more time for me. I’m dying to spend time with you on Mondays and Fridays and Sundays. Actually, I’d rather not even think about what day it is, I just want more time.”

  “How much more?” I ask, nerves in my belly jumping. This is a major next step.

  “As many as you’ll give me,” he says.

  In the next breath, his lips are crushing mine in the most sinful of goodnight kisses. His tongue glides over my top teeth and the roof of my mouth before tangling with my own in a seductive dance. Taking and giving until I’m out of breath.

  “See you tomorrow.”

  The next morning, I’m reliving the night, especially the goodnight kiss, when a call rings on my cell. And though we’ve never exchanged numbers, I get the sneaking suspicion that it’s Tris.

  “Miss me already?” I answer.

  “Not you so much as my son.” The answer comes back rough… and all wrong.

  It’s Alex.

  “What do you want, Alex?”

  “Hey, no need to be short with me. I’m actually calling out of courtesy. I didn’t want to surprise you tomorrow.”

  Dread washes over me. “Tomorrow?”

  “I’m in town and we thought it’d be a good idea to have a visit with Cade before training camp starts.”

  “We?”

  “Yeah, my team. Roe and Steve and the guys.”

  “Ah, so your agent and publicist are trying to work some PR magic. Coming for appearances, then?”

  “No. I miss my kid, Aria.”

  “That’s new. I didn’t hear any of those concerns when I signed the papers. Which, by the way, I never received the final document.”

  “Yeah, about that.” He lowers his voice. “There’s something I have to tell you. Let’s meet for breakfast, the three of us, and then we can talk.”

  “Are you high?” Rage claws its way up my throat. I have to keep it close because panic is not far behind. “You can’t just come in here and disrupt our lives. Cade is with Serena tomorrow while I have classes and work. I can’t take the day off.”

  “Look Ari, I will clear it with your mom and your teacher, whatever. But I am going to see my son tomorrow and I think it’d be wise for you to show up as well.”

  “You look, Alex,” I demand. “I have full custody.”

  “It’s not quite that simple,” he says, cracking his neck like he does whenever he’s irritated or bored.

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  His words don’t make sense. I know the divorce agreement is concrete. I couldn’t afford an attorney, but since it was an amicable break up, we used the same guy. Though I did go to the law school at the university and had one of the advisors look it over for me to be sure Alex wasn’t trying to pull a fast one. I’m not an idiot. It was pretty straightforward because we both agreed to the terms. Alex gave me sole custody of Cade and, in exchange, I didn’t demand any financial support.

  “We don’t have an agreement yet, Aria,” he says. “Because I never filed the papers.”

  Suddenly, I can’t breathe.

  Tristan

  I’m so distracted the next day t
hat I’m not really paying attention to Dad. I go through the motions, but my mind is on Aria and the cryptic message she left for me.

  Dad’s fine, though. He eats and does his exercises. Then he asks for his program like he always does. Or so I thought. But if I’d been paying attention, truthfully, I would’ve seen the slight changes in his skin coloring and his speech.

  I didn’t know he was coming. It’s all the message said, but of course, I know she meant Alex. We haven’t talked much about it, but I know she has custody of Cade. She did share that much with me. Though she’s never gone into detail about what ended the marriage. I didn’t want to know. Our original deal was about sex only.

  Tell him to fuck off, I write back. Hell if I’m giving up Wednesday for that jerk-off.

  He’s asking to see Cade.

  The fucking clincher. How could I compete with that?

  I couldn’t, something that was alarmingly clear when Alex arrived with the media in tow. On my way to Dad’s shop, the news crews were everywhere.

  “Alex Anders returns home to see his son,” blared through my car speakers. Fucking local radio.

  At the shop, the gossip continued.

  Why couldn’t anyone get over this fucking guy?

  And then the topic turns to Aria. In the small breakroom, I overhear two younger women talking.

  “It’s so sweet he’s here to see his son. I can’t believe Aria would keep them apart.”

  “It’s probably the only thing she has to keep the power. I heard she’s going to get millions once the divorce is final.”

  Final? They’re not divorced yet?

  “I heard she would’ve gotten half if she didn’t cheat on him.”

  I clench my teeth and go back to the office.

  Then I pick up my phone.

  Aria

  I get Cade dressed and we meet at the bagel shop. I insist on a place other than the diner. That’s the last thing we need, to air our family business in front of all my co-workers.

  If I was smart, I’d just have him out to the house, but I don’t want that either. I don’t want to be alone with him. I don’t want to infect our home, as crazy as it sounds.

  Cade and I get there first, which is no surprise. We always had to wait on the precious Alex Anders.

  He strolls in and the place lights up.

  “Hey, Alex,” the greasy-faced kid behind the counter says. “Can’t wait to see you play with the Pack.”

  “Thanks, dude,” he says, tipping his head. “Maybe someday, I’ll be playing a little closer to home.”

  “Awesome,” the kid mumbles, pulling out his phone. I’m sure this interaction will fill his Tumblr feed, or Snapchat site, or wherever the hell.

  Just keep us out of it.

  Cade cuddles further under my protective arm. He remembers.

  I had to be the strong one. Alex was always a mess. Temperamental and cruel. He couldn’t handle the stress the coach put on him, or another player second-guessing his plays during the game. After so many years of being treated like he could do no wrong, he began to believe it. And as high as this beast of a man got on the power and success, he sank low with the same intensity. Sometimes in the off-season, he’d sit in front of the TV for days, never changing from his sweatpants – eating cereal and drinking soda nonstop.

  “Hey Big C,” Alex picks Cade up in one scoop. He doesn’t waver as Cade reaches for me. Instead, he uses his other hand to take a selfie of the two of them.

  Cade’s always been just a prop to him.

  “Hi, Dad,” Cade says.

  Alex sits him down and really looks at him. “Man, you’re getting big.”

  “That’s what kids do, Alex,” I say. “They grow up.”

  He ignores me and says to Cade, “Tell me what you’ve been up to.”

  Cade’s eyes get big and he smiles. “I have my own room at Nana’s and I play tennis.”

  “Tennis?” Alex scoffs.

  Thankfully, Cade doesn’t notice.

  “We go to the beach and play with the twins and –”

  “That’s great, Caden,” Alex cuts him short. “Really great. Now why don’t you eat that bagel so you can get big and strong for tennis. I need to talk to your mom.”

  It’s like we never left.

  “You look good, babe,” he says in what he thinks is his low sexy voice. Really it just sounds like he’s constipated.

  “Tell me why you’re here,” I demand, even though I don’t want to hear any of it.

  “To see my son.”

  Cade looks up at me and I give him our be on your best behavior look – the one he knows means it’s the two of us against the world so let’s do it right.

  I slide my phone over to him so he can play games as a distraction. He doesn’t need to hear his father’s confession.

  “And.” I wave my hand to encourage. I want it all on the table.

  “To tell you that I want to renegotiate terms of the divorce.”

  That fucker. He never filed the papers. I knew when I was talking to him on the phone and that’s the only reason why I agreed to submit Cade to this. I have to figure out what the hell is going on. Why? Everything was in his best interest in those papers. Everything.

  “Why, Alex? I signed the papers. You signed the papers. It’s a done deal.”

  “I never filed them.”

  Asshole.

  “What do you want?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Well, if you’re coming here to disrupt our lives, then you better damn well be sure what your plan is.”

  “It’s just the guys.” He rubs his head. I can only imagine the pressure all this actual thinking causes him. “They think I need to straighten all this out. It’s not a good image going from toting Cade all over the place and then nothing.”

  “I never wanted you exploiting him like that in the first place and you know it. That’s no way for a little boy to live.”

  “Look, you don’t have all these people breathing down your neck, digging into your personal shit.”

  Of course Cade heard the curse.

  “You swore, Dad.”

  “Dads are allowed,” he says.

  What an idiot.

  “Are you going to file the papers? Let’s start there.”

  “Not yet.”

  “No. That’s unacceptable,” I say, trying to keep my voice down. “We are not going to wait in limbo for you. I will get my own attorney and start the process back up – from scratch if we have to.”

  “Don’t fight me on this, Aria,” he says. The entitled football player is definitely back. “If you push me, it won’t go in your favor. I can promise you that.”

  I’m chilled at his words, knowing I can’t possibly part from Cade. Not even for one day. My eyes begin to fill, but I fight back. He will not see me weak.

  “Cade, let’s go,” I tell him, standing up. And then I level a look at Alex. “Come back when you decide what you want. Don’t come back until you do. Please think of him for once.”

  “I am, Aria. Really. And you. Maybe you guys could come back with me. Maybe we could try it out – on a trial basis.”

  That’s when the media storms in.

  And by the time I get to Tris, it’s too late.

  Tristan

  “So the divorce isn’t final yet?”

  Silence.

  “Danny?”

  “Jesus Christ, I had no idea who you were talking about. Let me guess, with all the commotion going on in town, you must be talking about Aria.”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Aw, shit, Tris. What are you doing?”

  “It’s nothing. Well, not nothing. Just sex, but I didn’t know a husband was in the picture.”

  “A 275-pound husband, no less.”

  “So they are still married?”

  “I have no idea, Tris. I know the papers were filed, but the story kinda dropped off after that. I’m not sure if it went through or not. Is she still wearing her wedding
ring?”

  “No.”

  “Well, I’m sure she wouldn’t wear it when she’s with you. But have you seen her in public?”

  “She doesn’t wear it, Danny.”

  “How ’bout this, then. Ask her?”

  “I can’t do that,” I say.

  “You’re sleeping with her and you can’t ask if she’s married?”

  “It’s not part of the deal.”

  “What do you mean, deal? You have a contract for sex?”

  “Something like that.”

  “You are fucked up, Tristan.” He’s silent for a long time. “So if it’s just sex, does it matter? They’re obviously separated. Or they were. It’s her problem, not yours.”

  I feel like I’m going to lose it. Get sick or smash Danny’s face in. I’m not sure which. But his words play over and over in my brain. They’re separated. Or they were.

  Did they get back together?

  I can’t even go there.

  I’ve fucked up at my own game. This isn’t just about our agreement anymore. It’s morphing into more and I have to put a stop to these feelings pronto.

  Heddy’s already with Dad, and I can’t stay cooped up in the office any longer, so I head to the beach.

  Aria’s waiting for me.

  I can’t look at her right now, so I blow past her up the stairs without a word.

  She’s fucking married.

  And that means something. It means she’s off limits. Who am I kidding, she’s always been off limits to me. This has been a fun game, but it’s time to end it before someone gets really hurt.

  Bee-lining for the fridge, I take out a beer. It’s a short-lived cool, yet bitter, relief. Aria slowly, gently, eases her arms around my waist and hell if it doesn’t feel good. Her head rests at the center of my back, like she’s trying to draw strength from me. She takes it slow and cautious.

  “I didn’t know,” she whispers, her voice so low I strain to hear it.

  “Well, now we do know,” I say, turning around.

  “It doesn’t change anything,” she says, her body rigid, ready for a fight.