Beale Street Blues

by Angela Kay Austin

  Great freaking role model!

  How would she tell her parents? Jaxon?

  Just thinking about it, it seemed impossible, but Jaxon might think she planned it. That she tried to trap him. He would hate her.

  A week had passed, and Jaxon still hadn't seen Darling. The phone calls and texts weren't enough. She'd told Rodney she hadn't been feeling well and would need some time off. But, Jaxon didn't think that meant time off from him, too. No matter the problem, they were one now, or he thought they were. He rubbed at the ache in his chest. What was he supposed to do if she was walking out of his life?

  He knocked at the door and waited.

  Her father stood without his normal jovial smile. "Hi, son."

  "Hi, Mr. Crawford." He glanced through the doorway, searching. "Is Darling here?"

  The grey haired man folded his arms across his rounded belly. "No, son, I'm sorry. She went to visit her girlfriend, Annette, in Charlotte."

  What the hell! Why would she leave the city without telling him?

  Mr. Crawford stood waiting and watching while he kicked around different scenarios in his head.

  None of the scenarios made any sense. "Charlotte?"

  The man's arms slowly fell to his side. "I'm picking her up from the airport tomorrow."

  "Airport." Now, even he thought he was beginning to sound stupid.

  "Son, you don't have a lot to say do you?" Mr. Crawford stepped back. "Come on in."

  He didn't know what to say or do. She'd left town without a word. Images of the past month flew through his mind. Dinners. Dancing. Waking up beside her. Nothing was out of place. There could be no mistaking the meaning behind her kiss or touch. What had he missed that would make her leave Memphis, him, without saying anything. "Sir, I don't want to disturb you and Mrs. Crawford." Maybe she realized she didn't love him? Maybe this was her way of sparing him the face-to-face bullshit of cutting her ties.

  He turned to leave.

  "Mrs. Crawford isn't here," the older gentleman said as Jaxon turned. "She's at church. But, you can keep me company. It's been a little lonely around here without my Darling." Jaxon stepped inside, and Mr. Crawford closed the door. "But, I guess it won't be quiet much longer."

  "I guess not…not when she returns." When she returns to tell him to leave her the hell alone and to not show up at her parents' home. He knew this shit would happen. This is why he didn't want to take the fucking chance. He followed behind Mr. Crawford cursing himself for being stupid enough to think it all might work out in his favor.

  The old man wound his way through a living room too tight for the furniture pushed against every wall to a smaller room off to the left. The room wasn't much bigger, but had considerably less furniture. It had only a couple of reclining chairs, a stereo system straight out of the nineties, and a TV from the latest Sears catalogue.

  Mr. Crawford stopped in front of the TV and scanned the room. He located the remote and picked it up from its resting place on one of the chairs. "I'll be glad when she's back. I know you must be anxious." He offered Jaxon a guarded smile.

  "Anxious?" Angry. Yes. But, anxious. Why would he be anxious?

  Mr. Crawford stared with an odd expression between disbelief and question. He stopped switching channels. "Do you like karate?"

  "Mr. Crawford I didn't know she'd left town?" He waited for a response. When none came, he continued. "Do you know why she left?"

  Mr. Crawford glanced up at him as he lowered himself into one of the recliners. If he didn't know the older man was in his sixties, he would've given him about fifty-two or three. Not one wrinkle creased his dark skin.

  Normally, her father greets him with a smile. Today, that didn't happen. But, for a split second, it was there and then it was gone. "Son, it looks like you and my daughter have a lot to talk about when she returns."

  "Yes, sir, we do." He sat in the available seat beside Mr. Crawford and stared at the images dancing across the television screen. He'd seen the movie before. The son avenged the death of his father by chasing the ninjas who'd assassinated him. Somewhere in the middle of all of it, the son met and fell in love with the daughter of the man who'd killed his father. He didn't remember how it ended, but he'd be willing to bet not well for the son. How could it? He had to kill the father of the woman he loved, or he wouldn't avenge his father's murder.

  No way to win. Not even in a movie.

  "Son, how do you feel about my daughter?" Darling's father muted the television and waited.

  There was only one answer to the question, but at that moment, he felt like a sixteen year-old craving the approval of his girlfriend's father. And he was confident that Mr. Crawford knew exactly why Darling had left town. He needed to know what the other man knew. "Sir?"

  Mr. Crawford focused his attention on Jaxon. "How do you feel about my daughter?" He smiled. "And call me Roy."

  Heat spread across Jaxon's chest as he loosened his tie. "I—sir, Roy, I'm in love with her, but—"

  This time, Mr. Crawford did smile and clicked the volume up on the TV. "But, what?"

  "I don't know if she's ready to hear me say that I love her." He pressed again. "Sir, do you know why she left town?"

  Roy nodded his head as if considering his response. The colors of the television screen reflected against a small shiny bald spot on top of the man's head. "Maybe, but she needs to know that a man can love her no matter what. Steve wasn't a bad man, but he didn't really love my daughter. He loved the way she looked, her education…But, not really her."

  "Sir, I love her. I want to be with her. My father left my mother and me when I was young. I never thought I'd find anyone I wanted to be with for life." Admitting he and his father were pricks to the father of the woman he loved was crazy. "But, from the moment I met Darling, she challenged me. She didn't make it easy, but, sir, I love her."

  "How do you know you love her?" he asked.

  "I've never wanted to see someone smile as much as I want to see her smile. And I'll do whatever it takes to make sure she's happy." He stared into the old man's eyes. "I want a family with her. I know that's been problematic in the past, but even if it means adoption, we can do it."

  "Yes, I think you can." He smiled as he leaned back into the chair. "Enjoy the movie, son."

  Jaxon had looped the Memphis International Airport a few times before he finally decided to park and sit on a bench to wait for Darling. After his night with Roy, they'd voted against Mrs. Crawford, Shannon, and decided he should pick Darling up from the airport. Neither would tell him why one agreed with him and why one objected. Roy ended the debate by stressing that Darling need to begin '…facing her problems.'" He wasn't sure what that meant, but Shannon agreed and the debate was over.

  Darling walked right past him with her cell phone in hand.

  "Darling."

  She swung around.

  He didn't know if it was because he hadn't seen her in a week or because she was simply the most beautiful woman he'd ever known, but damn—she glowed. The dress she wore was made from stretchy cotton that hugged her breasts, which looked fuller, and rested against her round hips before ending mid-thigh. If he didn't think she'd scream for the police, he'd pull her into his arms and kiss her until onlookers made him stop. He'd hold her tight in his embrace until she grew tired of being in his arms, which he hoped would never happen.

  "What are you doing here?" She shoved her phone into her purse.

  "Your father asked me to pick you up." He scanned her. "I thought you were sick. Why did you leave without telling me?" He closed the distance between them. Her scent had changed. No longer fresh vanilla. Now, there was something else. Something a little sweeter with vanilla. Honey.

  She stepped away and jerked her eyes from his. "Where are you parked?"

  He grabbed her suitcase and led the way. The sound of the rollers of the luggage against the asphalt was the only thing that filled the air around them, except for the unspoken anger trapped inside him. He'd put as much on the l
ine as she had. He deserved to know what the hell was going on.

  At the car, he said, "We need to talk."

  She continued to avoid his stare or the slightest contact. "Yes, we do, but I'm tired. Can we do it tomorrow?"

  "No." He set the suitcase in the back and rounded the car to hold the door for her. "No, it's been a week. You owe me an explanation."

  Inside of Jaxon's hotel room, Darling rehearsed her lines. How could she tell a man she'd only known for a handful of months that she was pregnant? There was no easy way to start this conversation. She watched as he poured a glass of her favorite wine and walked toward her.

  She shook her head no. "No, thanks."

  He placed both glasses of wine on the table in front of the couch where she waited, and sat beside her. "What's going on?"

  A week to prepare yourself to tell a man life-changing information that you barely believed wasn't enough time. She could and would raise their child by herself, but she refused to be one of those women who popped up ten years later on Father's Day and yelled, "Surprise!"

  "I'm pregnant." Might as well throw it out there and see if he kicks her out, or asks for a paternity test. Hell, even she didn't think she could get pregnant, normally.

  "Pregnant?" He grabbed his glass of wine and drank, then replied, "You sure?"

  "Of course. That's why I've been missing in action? I've been trying to decide what I want to do. I didn't know how to tell you."

  He sat drinking from the glass he held until every ounce of the delicious red wine had vanished. "And what do you want to do?"

  "I want this baby." She threw up her hands as she stood to stop him from interrupting. She paced as she spoke, "Listen. I don't expect anything from you. Nothing." She stared at her glass of wine. She'd love a sip to calm her nerves. "I can do this by myself with the help of my family. But, I wanted you to know."

  "You thought I should know that you're pregnant with my baby, but you want to raise it without me?"

  The gravity of his words slammed into her stomach. She hadn't meant to take away anything from him. She just didn't want to make him feel obligated to her or the baby. "I don't want to raise the baby without you. But, I—"

  He sat his glass on the table. "You do a lot of thinking for me." The words were tinged with anger.

  She found it easier to focus on anything in the room, but him. The pressure of his stare made her want to cry and apologize until he forgave her. "I'm not thinking—"

  "Yes, for me. Stop thinking for me and include me," his voice lowered.

  She would do anything to erase the hurt from his voice. "I thought you—"

  "That's my point…you thought." He pushed the glass further away, then stood and took her hands into his. "I'm in love with you. I've been losing my mind over the last week. I didn't know what was wrong and those messages you left didn't tell me anything." His fingers threaded through the locs of her hair before sliding down her arms back to their original position. "I thought I'd lost you."

  "I didn't want you to be with me because I was pregnant—or, think I was trying to—to trap you."

  "Darling, you've done nothing, but run from me since we met. I've been chasing you around for months. I know you couldn't get pregnant with your ex. Why would I think you planned this?" He paused. "I'm equally responsible. We didn't use condoms. I wanted to feel you," he said in a voice a little huskier than before. His hands tightened around hers. "I wouldn't change any of that."

  "I'm such a mess." She pulled her hands from his and covered her face. Her embarrassment at her own stupidity made her want to disappear. She moved to put some space between them, but he pulled her back to him. Briefly, he held her against his chest. The firmness of him against her made her feel safe. Loved. She could hear the beat of his heart and wondered if their child's heartbeat would have that same soft rhythm. Then, he took a step back. She wanted to wrap her arms around his waist and hold on. She didn't want him to let her go.

  "You don't get to keep running." He nodded at her belly. "Not from me. Not now."

  "I didn't mean to run, but I didn't want to make you feel like you owed me anything."

  "I don't do anything I don't want to do."

  Everything he said, she'd hoped to hear, but hearing it didn't seem real. A man who wanted her…wanted the child that grew inside her. Her hand went to her stomach. "I've wanted a baby for so many years, but it never happened. Then, you come into my life and in a matter of months, I'm pregnant." Tears fell. "With your baby." Her hand rubbed in small circles on her belly. "I want our baby."

  He smiled. "I wanted us," he paused. "And eventually, I'd hoped we'd start a family together, but I was afraid of what kind of father I'd be."

  Her hand went to his cheek. She hadn't thought he'd have doubts about how good of a father he'd make. She just didn't think he'd want to be a father at all. Especially, not with her. A woman who had nothing. A woman who was the same age as him. "I thought—I thought you would leave me."

  "I know what you thought and why." He kissed her forehead. "But, I don't plan on going anywhere. Ever." A slow grin slid across his face as he lowered himself to the couch pulling her with him. He leaned into her pressing the weight of his body into hers.

  His kisses stole away her breath. The strength of him, his kiss, was just as she remembered. She'd missed him so. She broke his kiss. "We haven't finished talking."

  Gentle kisses covered her face until he moved down her throat to the top of her breasts. "You've been gone for a week. We need to do a lot of things." He continued to cover her with kisses, pulling at the soft cotton of her dress where it rested against her thighs. "Do you think I can get you pregnant again?" He laughed.

  The feel of his warm breath and the gentle tease of his teeth as he toyed with her aching nipples ignited a desire deep within her that was only for him. "Maybe." She laughed. "Let's try."

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Darling blinked at the bright light of the sun twinkling off the crystals sewn into the bodice of the dress resting in the trunk of her car. Surrounded by in-line skates and helmets, tennis racquets and balls, the dress fit perfectly with the other relics of her marriage. One last time, she ran her fingers along the length of the beautiful white fabric and marveled at its soft silky resilience. Unlike her marriage, the dress had managed to withstand being tossed around in storage and in her trunk. For a few dollars, the dry cleaners cleaned and pressed it and now, the dress would hopefully, bring someone else the joy she felt on her wedding day without the pain.

  She delicately slid her arms underneath the wedding dress and hoisted it from the trunk of her car. She closed the trunk and strolled through the automatic doors of her favorite consignment shop. It was time she once and for all put the past behind her.

  With the receipt for the wedding dress in her pocket for inspiration, Darling floated through the hallways of Slater Enterprises with her divorce papers signed and sealed. Time to have them delivered! Nothing had ever looked more beautiful than the mailroom and Darren, her new favorite person.

  She sucked in a long deep breath as his fingers wrapped around the thin package and slowly pulled it from her hand. The weight of months of anxiety resting on her shoulders disappeared with the package's release. A knot formed in the pit of her belly as she turned to leave the room, not because of what she'd done, but because of what was next. The day had only just begun; she mentally prepared for her meeting.

  Rodney and Barbara sat opened mouth as they listened to the options on the table.

  "Texas. I don't know anyone in Texas. My children, my wife. Their home is here. We'd have to find a new home. New schools." Rodney thrust a hand through what hair he had as he spoke. "What am I supposed to do?"

  "Your wife. Who cares about you and your damn wife?" Barbara's face crunched into a twist of anger and disbelief. "What about me? What happens to me?" She threw the words at everyone in the room with harsh anger.

  Darling jumped into the conversation to ease Barbara's mind
and to stop her from talking, "Barbara, I've worked with you and I think you could step into my role after I leave for Nashville." She watched as Jaxon leaned forward in his chair with his eyes locked on Barbara. Until then, he'd been focused on Rodney. Darling never had anything against Barbara. She actually thought Barbara was skilled at what she did when she wasn't on her back. The woman needed to keep it in her pants and stop throwing everything she had at Jaxon. Maybe she should've let Barbara think about it a little longer.

  "What?" Barbara's snarl disappeared. Frown lines creased her forehead. "Is this a joke of some kind?"

  "No," Jaxon said as he leaned back and relaxed a little. "Darling has provided me with enough to convince me that with her oversight, and without Rodney, you should be able to manage this office for Slater Enterprises."

  "But, why—" Barbara began. Wide-eyed, she pivoted her attention between the two of them, and threw a few is-this-really-happening glances at Rodney.

  "I think your experience with national programs and forecasting needs to grow, but I believe we can do it together." Darling chose her words, but everyone knew the blame rested with Rodney. "I think unnecessary distractions sidelined you and devalued your experience and knowledge."

  "I—I don't know what to say." Barbara swiveled her chair toward Darling. She glanced down at the ring on Darling's finger. "I thought I knew exactly what type of woman you were. But, I was wrong. I'm sorry." Her head dipped a little. "I misjudged you." She blinked away tears. "Mr. Slater, I don't know how to apologize to you. To both of you."

  "You don't owe me an apology," he said. "But, I need to know that you can dedicate yourself to this role." He glanced at Darling. "She believes you can do it. Prove her right."