Waking Up with the Boss

by Sheri WhiteFeather

  “Well, that explains it, then. Because she sure seems interested in you.”

  “I don’t know why she would care about me and my situation with Jake. Her former husband is Kenny Monroe, the pitcher, and she only dated Jake on the rebound, when she was smarting over the divorce. She and Jake weren’t even together for very long.”

  “Maybe so, but I saw them talking earlier.”

  Carol frowned, fighting a stab of jealousy. “She’s a guest. He has to engage with her.”

  Lena sighed. “Just protect what’s yours, okay?”

  “He isn’t mine, not in the way you mean.”

  “The heck he isn’t. He proposed to you, didn’t he? That gives you a right to keep an eye on a woman who might be trying to restake her claim.”

  Carol didn’t want to believe that Susanne was after Jake, so as the evening progressed, she tried to shut it out of her mind. It wasn’t as if Susanne had become a nuisance. In fact, she left the event early. Carol saw Susanne walk out the door with a posse of other Beverly Hills socialites. Still, Lena’s concern niggled at her.

  Finally, when Carol needed a break from the festivities, she went upstairs to her private room.

  Later, Jake appeared, like a mirage, standing beside the bed. She had no idea how much time had passed, until he told her that the party was over. She’d only closed her eyes, intending to rest, but had fallen asleep instead.

  As she gazed up at him, he reminded her of a prince, come to claim his princess, his bride. She even fantasized about him leaning over to kiss her.

  She didn’t say anything to him about Susanne. It seemed petty now that he was here, taking her home, this beautiful man who wanted to marry her.

  * * *

  While at work late Monday afternoon, Carol kept gazing at her ring, wondering how it would look on her left hand.

  Should she accept Jake’s proposal and create a life with him?

  She couldn’t deny that every moment she spent with him, every instant that he was near her, felt so good, so right.

  Jake was kind and protective and attentive. Wonderfully romantic. Everything she believed a husband should be. And he was trying so hard to win her over and make her his wife. Was it possible that he was falling in love with her, too? A bit too dreamy, she studied her ring again, imagining what marrying him would be like.

  A second later, Carol glanced up and saw that Kristen was poking her head in the doorway. The receptionist seemed anxious.

  “What’s going on?” Carol asked her.

  “Can I come in and talk to you?”

  “Sure.” She invited the fidgety girl into her office, wondering if she was having boyfriend problems again.

  Kristen entered the room and closed the door. She pulled a chair closer to Carol’s desk and sat on the edge of it.

  Then she said, “I know you haven’t agreed to marry Jake or anything. But everyone at the office knows that he asked you. He’s made that pretty clear around here.”

  Yes, Jake had spilled the beans, professing his intentions. “Are you here to try to talk me into marrying him? Because I’ve already been—”

  Kristen cut her off. “I’m sorry, but that’s not why I’m here. It’s just the opposite. I saw him today with another woman.”

  Carol’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest. “What?”

  “I went to get some food at the taco place where a lot of us go, and when I was waiting for my take-out order, I saw Jake and one of his old girlfriends having lunch, with margaritas and everything. They looked pretty cozy to me. She was even reaching across the table to touch his hand.”

  Carol felt sick, a wave of nausea roiling through her body. “Was it Susanne Monroe? The baseball player’s ex?”

  “Yep. That’s who it was, the one who used to parade around here like a Kardashian.” Kristen frowned. “What made you assume it was her?”

  “She was at the charity event on Saturday, and Lena told me I should be wary of her. But I brushed it off. I ignored the way Susanne had been staring at me.”

  “I’m so sorry, Carol. I hated to even tell you that I saw Jake with her. But I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  She was already hurt, torn up inside. “You were right to tell me. Did he know that you saw him?”

  “No. They were in a booth and his back was to me.” Kristen scooted her chair a little closer. “Do you think it’s possible that I misinterpreted what was going on?”

  Carol looked into the younger woman’s eyes. Now she was backpedaling, after everything she’d said? “Do you think that’s possible?”

  “I don’t know. I just hate to be the one to ruin things for you. And since Lena warned you first, I guess what I saw was real. It’s just hard to believe that Jake would go off with another woman, not with how much he wants to marry you.”

  “It’s hard for me to fathom, too.” Especially in light of how kind and protective he’d been. “I’ll get Jake’s side of it, and if he has a reasonable explanation, I’ll take what he says into consideration.” And pray, with all of her heart, that it wasn’t what it seemed.

  “What if he is messing around with Susanne?”

  “Then I’m going to pack my belongings and leave. There’s no way I could keep staying at his house with him.”

  “Would you quit being his assistant, too?”

  “Yes, I would stop working here.” Seeing Jake every day would destroy her. She would need to separate her life from his, at least the best she could. But either way, they were still having a baby together.

  “I don’t think I could fill in for you, not like I did when you were sick. I’d be too mad at Jake to help him out like that.”

  “Don’t worry, I’d find another replacement. I wouldn’t expect you to pick up the pieces.” Carol would have to do that all on her own.

  * * *

  Jake sat across from Carol in his sunken living room, with his heart sinking, too. How could everyone think so badly of him?

  “I wasn’t having a romantic lunch with Susanne,” he said, responding to the accusation that had been thrust upon him. “And her interest in you at the party wasn’t sinister. She wasn’t giving you the evil eye or trying to get back together with me. She was just curious about you.”

  Carol didn’t reply. Apparently she was waiting for him to expound further.

  So he continued by saying, “When she saw you and Lena, she wanted to come over and talk to you, but then she got nervous, so she just stayed away.”

  Carol folded her arms across her stomach. “Why would Susanne even care about me?”

  “Because when I spoke to her at the party, I told her about you and the baby, and she thought it was romantic that you tamed a guy like me. It made her want to get to know you a little better.” Jake reached for the ice water in front of him and took a swig. “Susanne is mixed up about her own life. She’s still not over her ex. That’s why she texted me today and asked me to lunch. She wanted to talk to me about how she can win Kenny back.”

  Carol raised her eyebrows. “She wanted advice from you? About relationships?”

  “I know. Crazy, huh? She assumed that you and I were a couple. I didn’t give her all the sordid details at the party. I just told her that I was planning on marrying you. So when she invited me to lunch today, I figured that I’d set her straight about us and tell her that I wasn’t qualified to help her with Kenny.”

  “Kristen said that Susanne was reaching across the table for your hand.”

  “That’s true. She did that. But it was only after I admitted that you’ve been refusing to marry me.”

  Carol unfolded her arms. “I’m sorry, Jake, that everyone jumped to conclusions.”

  “So you believe me?”

  “Yes, I do. And I’m sorry that Susanne is still hurting ove
r Kenny. But we aren’t the role models for her happiness.”

  “I wish we were.” He got up and sat beside her. “I still don’t understand why you won’t marry me.”

  “I was thinking about it, before Kristen came to my office and threw me for a loop.”

  “Really?” His mood brightened. “You were?”

  “Yes, but I was thinking about love, too.”

  Damn. Did that she mean was still going to hold out for another guy? “What if you never find the love of your life? Or what if you think you found him and he turns out to be a jerk. Will you marry me then? Or am I never going to measure up to your dream?”

  “Oh, Jake.” She sighed. “If only you knew.”

  Now he was really confused. “If I only knew what?”

  Her voice jittered. “That I already met the man I love. That he’s already part of my life.”

  Suddenly he felt as though the world was caving in on him. “There’s someone else? How is that even possible? The only person you’ve been spending time with is me.”

  She just stared at him. Really stared at him.

  Holy hell. Realization dawned in his stupid male brain. “So it’s me?” He even tapped his chest, identifying himself. “I’m the one?”

  She nodded briskly, shakily.

  “You actually love me? Like love me, love me?”

  “Yes,” she replied, leaning closer to him.

  This should have been good news. He should have rejoiced in her admission. But Jake panicked instead. He didn’t know anything about that kind of love. He’d done everything in his power to avoid those types of feelings.

  He stood and moved toward the window. And as soon he turned back around, facing Carol once again, he panicked even more. Her eyes were filled with pain.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting...”

  “I have to go,” she said. “I have to pack.”

  “You’re leaving? What? No.” His freak-out was getting worse. “Stay and we’ll figure this out.”

  “There’s nothing to figure. I can’t live here anymore. I can’t handle this.”

  He wasn’t handling it, either. But he couldn’t bear to lose her. “Please, I still want to marry you. I still want to create a life for our child.”

  She looked at him as if he’d just lost his mind. “How can you marry me when you won’t even sit next to me? What kind of example is that going to set for our daughter?”

  As much as he wanted to prove that he could still be a good husband and father, he couldn’t bring himself to return to her side. He was struggling to breathe, forcing air in and out of his lungs. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was losing his mind. “I just need a minute.”

  “Take all the time you need, but I have to get out of here.”

  She got up from the sofa, and when she left the room, Jake was still standing with his back to the window, his feet frozen to the floor.

  Fourteen

  Carol moved swiftly, getting her suitcase ready, needing to escape. She hadn’t intended to tell Jake that she loved him, and now that she had, it was the worst day of her adult life.

  In the middle of her packing, Jake entered the room, invading her space, torturing her heart.

  “You didn’t have to follow me in here,” she said.

  “Yes, I did. It just took me a minute to get my feet moving.”

  Right. The minute he’d needed to get his emotions together. Thing was, he didn’t look any less stressed. Even now, he was pulling a hand through that messy hair of his. The troubled rebel, she thought. The man who’d burrowed his way into her soul.

  “I wish I hadn’t fallen for you,” she said.

  “No one has ever been in love with me before. I don’t know what to do with it, Carol.”

  “You’re supposed to accept it and return the feeling. It’s funny, because when I was contemplating marrying you, I wondered if you were falling in love with me, too. But I was just being silly and dreamy.” And wrong, she thought, so very wrong.

  He lowered his hand from his hair. “I’d rather just keep things simple.”

  “And marry someone you don’t love?” That was far from simple to her. “That isn’t how marriage is supposed to work.”

  “Not traditionally, but it can be whatever people decide to make it.” He shifted his stance. “And maybe in time I’ll get used to...”

  She studied him from beneath her lashes. “Get used to what, a one-sided relationship where I love you but you don’t love me?”

  “I’m just trying to hold on to what we have.”

  “What we have is a wreck.” Carol took an audible breath, the sound engulfing the room. “I’m going to call Shirley and ask if I can stay there for a few days.” She didn’t want to be alone, and she knew that Garrett’s mother would comfort her more than any of her other friends could. “I’m not taking everything with me today. I’ll come back for the rest of my belongings, but you won’t see me at the office again. I can’t work for you, Jake. I’ll call a temp agency and arrange for my replacement, then you can hire someone permanently when you’re ready to tackle that.”

  He glanced at the hastily folded clothes she’d placed on the bed. “I don’t want you to do this.”

  “I know. You still want me to marry you. Do you know how crazy that sounds?”

  “I can’t help it. In my mind, you’re still meant to be my wife.” He glanced at her stomach. “You and me and our daughter. We’re supposed to be together.”

  She disagreed. “Not like this we aren’t.”

  “There’s nothing I can say or do to keep you here?”

  “No.” She couldn’t force him to love her, to feel things he didn’t feel. Still, he looked so lost, so confused, that she wanted to wrap her arms around him. But what good would that do? She was just as lost and confused as he was. “It’s better for us to live separate lives and share custody of the baby, like we’d planned to do originally.”

  When she reached down to remove her ring and return it to him, he held up his hands, like a gunslinger who was about to be shot.

  “Don’t you dare give that back.” He lifted his hands a little higher. “I refuse to take it.”

  “Jake, please.”

  “No. No way.” He shook his head, as stubborn as a man could be. “Besides, what does it matter if you keep wearing it? It still says that you’re single.”

  “It’s different now.” Single or not, wearing it was hurtful. The ring represented everything she loved about him. His warmth. His generosity. The kind and caring father he’d become. The Kindred Spirits legacy they shared.

  After she removed it from her finger, she placed it in its original box. Then she put the box inside her medicine bag and packed it. With Jake’s refusal to take the diamond back, it was the best she could do. Just leaving the ring behind would seem unkind, and she couldn’t bear to create more pain between them.

  She said, “When I thought something might be going on between you and Susanne, I was prepared to walk away. But I never thought I’d be leaving under these circumstances.”

  “I never imagined it ending at all.” Jake cleared his throat. “On the night of the fund-raiser when I came into the room to check on you, and you opened your eyes and looked at me, it seemed like we were already married.”

  “I felt like a bride when I woke up and saw you. A princess, waiting for her groom. I even fantasized about you kissing me.”

  He stepped a little closer. “I wish I would have.”

  She backed away from him. “It wouldn’t have mattered, not now.”

  He didn’t move forward again or try to close the gap between them. He conceded, allowing her the distance she needed, but it didn’t help ease her pain. She hurt just the same.

  “I’ll let yo
u finish packing,” he said. “Just let me know when you’re ready to go, and I’ll put your luggage in your car for you.”

  “Thank you.” She didn’t know what else to say. “It’s just the one bag.”

  “You still shouldn’t lift it.”

  He exited the room, and she fought the urge to cry. Carol dreaded the future, afraid that no matter how many years went by or how separate their lives became, she would never stop loving him.

  * * *

  Jake spent the next two days holed up in his house. His big, hollow mansion. He hadn’t felt this alone since his family died. He missed Carol something awful.

  He understood why she left. But he couldn’t bear not having her here with him. He wanted nothing more than to make her his wife. And not just because of the baby.

  It was the joy of being with Carol.

  The same type of joy that had been snuffed out when his family’s car had crashed and burned.

  Was that the reason he’d been unable to return Carol’s love? Yes, he thought, it was. Creating a family, a true family, like the one he’d lost was frightening to him. So he’d offered her a half-assed marriage instead.

  What was he going to do about it? Sit here and wallow in his mistake, in the heartache of being an idiot? Letting Carol go made no sense, none whatsoever.

  Still, he was scared. Since she’d been gone, he’d been dreaming about the crash, his childhood nightmares returning with a fiery vengeance. The dream catcher beside his bed hadn’t saved him from reliving the pain. Nothing would, except facing his fears.

  Determined to conquer them, Jake went out to the garage and climbed into the SUV he’d bought to accommodate the baby. Only, his daughter wasn’t arriving today. Today he was going back to his own youth, to the house where he’d grown up.

  For him, that was as close as it got to his family having a grave site. If their spirits were anywhere, it would be at the home where all of them had lived.

  Lived and loved, he thought.

  Jake drove to the San Fernando Valley, heading toward his old neighborhood. His parents didn’t own the home where they’d raised him and his siblings. It was a well-maintained rental, a house that had belonged to a corporation, much like the company Jake owned now.