The Happiness List

by Annie Lyons

  If I am lucky, there will be more moments like these – different but still wonderful as life moves forwards and we reach for the future. We have to keep reaching for the future. Please let us do that.

  ‘Coming through!’ cried Heather, entering the hall with a large tray in her arms. ‘I’ve got focaccia, cheese twists and sausage rolls and Georg’s bringing the cakes.’

  ‘Thank you, both.’ Pamela smiled. ‘If you could pop them on the table, I’ll lay them out in a bit.’

  ‘Wow, you guys are doing an amazing job,’ declared Heather, gazing around the room. ‘It’s looking lovely.’

  ‘I’ve blown up three balloons,’ said Charlie proudly.

  ‘That’s actually pretty lame,’ observed Jude.

  ‘Heather. Jude’s being mean to me,’ reported Charlie.

  Heather laughed. ‘I’ve got to get back to the bakery but I can do a couple before I go.’

  ‘I will help too,’ said Georg, who had arrived with the cakes.

  ‘Okay. Race you.’ Heather grinned. ‘Three balloons each.’

  Georg raised one eyebrow and fixed her with a look. ‘Let’s do this.’

  ‘This, I’ve got to watch,’ laughed Fran. ‘Come on, Jim, the bunting can wait.’

  Heather eyeballed Georg. ‘Ready to lose?’

  ‘In your dreams,’ he replied.

  ‘This is fun!’ cried Charlie, grabbing Pamela’s arm.

  ‘Okay,’ said Jude. ‘Three-two-one-go!’

  Heather struggled to inflate her first balloon, whilst Georg got off to a flying start. Unfortunately, he didn’t have a tight enough hold on his balloon and, to Charlie’s great delight, it pinged off, farting wildly around the room. Heather started to giggle but managed to blow up her balloon and tie it, whilst Georg struggled with his replacement first balloon. He regained his composure and they quickly blew up their second balloons and tied them. They both picked up their third balloons and fixed each other with a steely gaze like cowboys waiting to draw. Heather fumbled though and was too slow as Georg inflated his last balloon like a pro and dropped it to the floor before dancing on the spot, whilst everyone laughed.

  ‘Winner, winner, chicken dinner! You lose! You lose!’ he crowed.

  Heather laughed. ‘I have honestly never seen you so happy.’

  ‘You’re funny, Georg,’ declared Charlie.

  ‘Thank you.’ Georg smiled. ‘Was fun. Now we go back to work. See you later.’

  Pamela reached out to hug them both. ‘Thank you, my ducks. I’m very grateful for everything you’ve done.’

  ‘You deserve it, Pamela – you are very kind lady,’ said Georg seriously.

  ‘What he said,’ agreed Heather, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. ‘See you later, okay?’

  Pamela smiled as she watched them leave. Laura arrived shortly afterwards, with Tupperware boxes full of different savoury dishes, and was soon joined by Simon and his girlfriend, Skye, who had driven up from Bristol that day. Pamela’s heart swelled with love at the sight of them. She would have loved Matthew to have been there too but he was busy following his dreams in America. She understood that and it made her proud.

  A few hours later, Pamela checked her appearance in the mirror, smoothing down the simple cream lace dress she’d bought especially for today.

  ‘You look beautiful, Pammy,’ said Barry, smiling at her reflection.

  ‘You don’t look too bad yourself,’ she replied, reaching over to adjust his tie. ‘There. Perfect.’

  He kissed her on the cheek. ‘I’m glad I married you,’ he joked.

  ‘Well that’s a blessing!’ She looked into his eyes. His face was a little drawn since he’d lost weight and his skin sagged as if the weight of being ill had dragged him down. But then he smiled and she saw that twinkle again – the spark of the man she fell in love with, still here with her, in this moment.

  This is all I need. This is what I want. My husband. My Barry. We’re still together and I love him more than ever.

  She pulled him close and held on, feeling the warmth of him, the smell of him, the essence of him. It didn’t matter what age you were – you needed that closeness with another person, the feel of a heart beating next to yours, a breath of life.

  Hold on to it, Pammy. Hold on to it with all your might.

  ‘This is nice,’ murmured Barry.

  Pamela rested her head against his chest. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Yes, it is.’

  It was a wonderful party. Even better than Pamela had dreamed. Hope Street Hall was buzzing as Barry and Pamela arrived with Laura, Simon and their partners. A cheer went up as soon as they entered and the choir began to sing. Pamela kept hold of Barry’s hand as people patted them on the back, hugged and kissed them.

  ‘Can I offer you a glass of Prosecco?’ asked a voice beside them.

  Pamela turned and gasped as she spotted Matthew, standing next to his siblings, his dear face tanned and smiling.

  ‘Surprise!’

  ‘Oh Matty – you came!’ she cried, wrapping her arms around him.

  ‘Of course I came! I couldn’t miss this and I wanted to come and check that Dad was all right, obviously.’ He put an arm around his father. ‘I’m so glad to see you both.’

  ‘I’m glad to see you too, son,’ said Barry, gazing up at him.

  Pamela felt her heart skip with love for them both but noticed that Barry was looking pale. ‘Can you find a seat for your dad, please, Matthew?’

  ‘Of course. Come on, Dad.’

  ‘I’m all right, Pammy, don’t worry. I’ll just sit for a minute – maybe you could tell me about your adventures, son,’ he said.

  ‘I’d love that,’ said Matthew.

  Pamela squeezed his arm. ‘I’m going to say hello to a few people. I’ll come and find you in a bit.’ She turned and noticed that Angel and her friends had arrived. She gave them a wave as Cheryl bounced over, closely followed by the others.

  ‘We got a surprise!’ cried Cheryl, her huge eyes wide with the thrill of a secret about to be shared.

  ‘Have you? I love a surprise!’ said Pamela with a smile.

  Angel and her friends gathered around Pamela. ‘We made this for you,’ said Angel, looking uncharacte‌ristically shy as she held out a cake tin for inspection.

  Pamela lifted the lid and gasped when she saw the beautiful chocolate cake inside. Its outside was surrounded by milk and white chocolate cigarillos, its top decorated with budding pink and white roses. ‘You made this for me?’

  Angel sniffed and looked at her feet, while the other mums exchanged proud glances. ‘Well, yeah, we wanted to get you and Mr T something so we all made it together. I hope it’s okay.’

  Pamela’s eyes misted with tears. ‘It’s the most beautiful cake and the kindest surprise I’ve ever had – thank you. Thank you all so, so much.’

  Angel flashed a nervous smile. ‘For real?’

  Pamela nodded. ‘For real, ducks. Now put that tin down so that I can give you all a proper hug!’

  ‘Yay, group hug!’ squeaked Cheryl, wrapping her arms around their legs as they all pulled together in a huge, laughing embrace.

  The choir was finishing their set as Pamela made her way back to Barry. ‘How are you feeling?’ she asked, noticing with relief that he had some more colour in his cheeks.

  ‘Better, thanks Pammy. Matthew’s been telling me all about LA. It sounds wonderful!’

  Pamela smiled down at them both. ‘Well, I look forward to hearing all about it too. Do you still want to make your speech?’

  ‘I can do it for you if you like, Dad?’ offered Mathew.

  ‘Would you, son? I’ve written a few things down,’ said Barry, handing Matthew a piece of paper. ‘Just make sure you tell your mother how beautiful she looks,’ he added, winking at Pamela.

  Matthew put a hand on his shoulder. ‘Of course, Dad.’ He stood up. ‘Could I have everyone’s attention please?’ The room descended into hush. ‘For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Pam
ela and Barry’s middle son, Matthew. I’m going to say a few words on behalf of my dad.’ He smiled at his father before unfolding the piece of paper Barry had given him. ‘Pammy,’ he said addressing his mother, who was sitting next to Barry now, holding his hand. ‘You know I’m not much cop with words.’ A ripple of affectionate laughter broke out. Matthew grinned. ‘But I love you more than you will know. You are like the stake that keeps my cucumbers growing straight – constant and steady.’ Pamela laughed along with the assembled company. Matthew smiled as he continued. ‘You’re like the fertilizer that feeds the flowers – nurturing and protecting.’

  ‘Fertilizer?’ chuckled Pamela, nudging Barry.

  ‘Could have been worse – he could have said manure,’ quipped Fran. More laughter.

  ‘But above all, you are like a Gertrude Jekyll rose – strong and beautiful, bringing joy to everyone.’ Matthew’s voice faltered as he went on. ‘I wouldn’t be half the man I am today without you – you bring me so much happiness and I love you very, very much.’

  There were sniffles from various parts of the room. Pamela’s eyes were wet with tears as Barry turned and kissed her. ‘It’s true, Pammy,’ he said.

  She took his hands and kissed them before standing to address the room. ‘I would like to say a few words if I may,’ she began.

  ‘Go, Mrs T!’ encouraged Angel from the back.

  Pamela smiled. ‘Firstly, thank you to all of you for coming today – it means the world to us.’ Her gaze fell on Laura, Matthew and Simon. ‘And to you three – our beautiful children – we’re so proud of you and love you very much.’ There were ahhhs of fondness around the room. ‘Special thanks to my choir for singing so wonderfully and to my happiness course buddies for bringing me such joy. I also have to thank all my friends for helping me decorate the hall – Fran, Charlie, Jude, Heather, Georg, Jim and so many others. I’m lucky to have you in my life. And special thanks to Angel and her friends for the beautiful cake – I’m very touched and I love teaching you girls.’

  ‘You rock, Mrs T!’ cried Dee.

  Pamela smiled, before turning to Barry. ‘But most of all, I have to thank you, Barry – my dear husband of forty years. While I was thinking about what to say today, I found this Apache blessing on the internet. It sums up perfectly what I feel so I would like to read it to you all.’ Pamela rummaged in her handbag and pulled out a piece of paper. She put on her reading glasses and cleared her throat.

  ‘Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives – remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.’

  She turned to Barry, who was smiling and nodding. ‘It’s easy after nearly forty years of marriage to lose sight of one another. But I remember the first second I met you, Barry Trott, like it was yesterday. We were at a dance and all your friends had partnered off with other girls. You came up to me, grinning and said, “I can’t believe my luck – the most beautiful girl in the room and no one has asked her to dance yet.”’ Ahhhs of approval echoed round the room. Pamela smiled. ‘And then you offered me your hand and said, “Would you make me the happiest man in the world?” and we danced and the rest of the room fell away and it was just you and me.’ Barry wiped away a tear as Pamela took his hand. ‘And it’s still you and me, Barry Trott. I remind myself every day of that moment and how lucky I am. And even though we lost sight of each other for a while and I nearly lost you, the thing that brought us together is still here. The sun is still shining. We are blessed, we are lucky and I love you.’

  People wiped away tears as the room gave way to cheers and some particularly enthusiastic whoops and whistles from Angel and her friends. Pamela smiled and hugged Barry.

  ‘Beautiful speech,’ said Fran, approaching Pamela and kissing her on the cheek. ‘How does it feel to be universally celebrated and adored?’

  ‘It feels wonderful.’ Pamela beamed. ‘And how are things with that lovely man?’ she added, gesturing over to where Gary and Charlie were playing tag with balloons.

  ‘Lovely,’ said Fran. ‘We’re taking it one day at a time. But it’s lovely.’

  ‘I’m so glad, Fran,’ said Pamela, patting her arm.

  ‘I spy empty glasses!’ cried Heather, topping them up from the bottle she was carrying. ‘Cheers!’

  ‘Cheers,’ echoed Pamela and Fran.

  ‘Don’t you wish you could do this every week?’ asked Heather, gazing round the room.

  ‘What? Have a party?’ Fran frowned.

  ‘No-o, I mean bring all these different groups of people together – people who wouldn’t normally meet. It’s lovely. Look at how well they get along.’

  Pamela gazed around the room. It was true. Angel and her friends were laughing with some mums from the choir, Elsie Loveday was talking to Doly, whilst children aged between two and fourteen played and giggled together. Different generations, races, religions all mixed together. Call it community or call it life – it was noisy, lively, colourful, cheerful and utterly wonderful.

  ‘I’ve had an idea,’ said Pamela, her eyes glittering with excitement. Fran and Heather smiled at one another as Pamela put an arm around each of their shoulders. ‘But I’m going to need your help.’

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Six months later…

  Heather

  Happiness List

  1. Marry Luke!

  2. Sunday walk and choose wedding venue with Luke Fran & Charlie

  WEDDING CANCELLED

  3. Exercise more (persuade Luke to go running?)

  - Boot camp with Fran & Pamela

  4. Go dress shopping with Gemma and laugh like we used to!

  Fran & Pamela - laughed like teenagers!

  DRESS SOLD ON EBAY

  5. Surprise Luke at work

  6. Ask Pamela for help with first dance for wedding!

  7. Help Pamela & Barry fall in love again

  - mission accomplished!

  8. Treasure my friends

  9. Have the courage to take what I need from life

  10. Trust my instincts and value my own company

  Hope Street Hall was buzzing with excitement. Heather, Fran and Pamela stood at one end of the hall while the camera crew prepared to start filming. The journalist smiled at the three friends. ‘Okay, ladies, are we ready?’

  They grinned at one another. ‘Ready when you are, ducks,’ said Pamela.

  ‘Great. Okay, Dave? Have you got the banner in shot?’ She gestured to the large ‘Happiness Hub’ sign which was stretched across the far wall.

  ‘Yep – all good and ready to go, Anita.’

  ‘Can we have a bit of hush please?’ called the sound man.

  There was a loud whistle from one corner of the room. ‘All right, listen up people,’ cried Angel. ‘Mrs T is about to be on telly so zip it, yeah?’ Silence descended.

  ‘Thank you.’ Anita smiled as she gave Dave the signal to start filming. She spoke to the camera. ‘I’m here today at Hope Street Community Hall. You may remember hearing about Hope Street a year or two ago. This was the community that formed a choir in order to save this very hall and I’m back here today to meet three members of the community who have decided to start a rather special project.’ She turned to address the women.

  ‘Heather, could you tell us what the Happiness Hub is all about and how you got involved?’

  Heather smiled. ‘Well, it all started with a course, which the three of us attended – it was about finding your own version of happin
ess. I have to say I was pretty sceptical when I went along.’

  ‘How so?’ asked Anita.

  Heather shot a glance at her friends. ‘I thought I was happy. I was planning my wedding and looking to the future with my fiancé.’

  Anita nodded. ‘But things didn’t go quite to plan, did they?’

  You can say that again, thought Heather. ‘No,’ she admitted. ‘We broke it off, but actually, it was for the best. I know that now.’

  ‘And so why did the three of you set up this project?’

  ‘Well, it all stemmed from what we learnt on the course – we realized that everyone is searching for their own piece of happiness and that we could perhaps help with that.’

  ‘So what is the Happiness Hub?’

  ‘It’s like a community club. We run forums on different topics – everything from mindfulness to taking up a new exercise. I’m running a “dance like there’s no one watching” club. We like to channel our inner Beyoncé during that session. But we’re evolving it to be whatever the community wants and needs to be happy.’

  ‘It sounds like a fantastic idea.’

  Heather grinned. ‘It was Pamela’s idea and I’m proud to be part of it. It’s a project born out of friendship and that’s very important to me.’ Pamela reached over and squeezed her hand.

  Heather knew that she wouldn’t have got through the last six months without her friends. It wasn’t merely their support that she valued but also the courage they’d given her to rebuild her life without Luke. Fran was predictably straight-talking but always kind, Pamela was reliably overindulgent and Georg was a refreshingly unemotional constant. They were the ideal combination and Heather felt safe in the knowledge that she always had someone to call on.

  Over the months after her split from Luke, she settled into a new life on her own and found that, as Georg predicted, she enjoyed her own company. However, there was one friend that she missed every day. Her parting with Gemma remained a tangle of regret in her mind. She didn’t miss Luke at all but she did miss Freddy and she desperately missed Gemma – their chats, their stupid banter, their deep-rooted sisterly love.