Edge of Pathos (The Conjurors Series Book 4)

by Kristen Pham

  Valerie opened her mouth to scream, but she wasn’t sure if she made a sound, because for a few seconds, she couldn’t hear anything. She almost gave in to the darkness at the edges of her vision, but then her mind became clear, more focused than she’d ever been before.

  No. She would not allow Cyrus to be dead.

  Thai hauled her to her feet as Reaper turned to her. She was his next target. Her emotions were curiously absent, even when his face was inches from hers. In one swift move, she knew that she could unsheathe her sword of light and plunge it through Reaper. It might kill him, and there was a kind of poetic justice that the sword Cyrus had crafted with a piece of himself would be the weapon that killed his murderer.

  But she couldn’t summon any hate, staring into the eyes of the man who had tortured her brother, murdered her father, imprisoned her mother for eternity, and now slayed Cyrus. Instead, something more powerful rose in her. She didn’t want any more blood and ugliness in the world.

  She’d heal Reaper. If she saved him, she’d save Cyrus. Together, they’d bring her best friend back, use Reaper’s magic to turn back time or activate his cells or something. They’d find a way.

  Valerie’s vivicus power leaped to the surface, and with Thai’s hand gripping hers, its flow was hers to control. She’d find whatever darkness lived in Reaper and snuff it out, like she’d done with Henry’s depression.

  Whatever Reaper had been expecting, it wasn’t this. She poured her power into him, chasing out the darkness inside him. The Carne oozed back out of his pores, pushed out by her magic. But the darkness was still there, embedded in the fabric of his being.

  Reaper’s mouth was open, and his hands opened and shut helplessly at his sides. Valerie attacked the evil inside of him with every drop of her magic, knowing that she was going farther than she ever had before. She was fearless as she poured herself into him, driving out the evil that was intertwined with his soul.

  A part of her mind heard Henry screaming at her to stop, to let go of her power, but it continued to pulse out of her. It wasn’t that she couldn’t stop its flow—she didn’t want to. She’d take the evil that had killed Cyrus and banish it from existence, even if she sacrificed her mind in the process. If she poured enough of herself, enough of her magic, into Reaper, she’d bring back Cyrus. The alternative couldn’t be borne.

  Her power blew through Reaper, dissolving all of the darkness it found, until there was no more, but whether it was no more darkness or no more of her own magic to fight it, she wasn’t sure.

  She was limp, but remained standing, only swaying slightly. Reaper’s gaze was puzzled, as if he was staring at something inside her that he couldn’t understand. His pulse beat erratically in his throat, and then he moaned, gripping his chest, and collapsed to the ground.

  Thai knelt beside Reaper and gripped his wrist. “He’s dead.”

  Valerie started shaking all over. “No, that’s not right.”

  Henry’s mind touched hers as he held her hand. “It’s okay. You didn’t kill him. If you did, you’d be dead, too. Remember?”

  “I healed him. I saved him,” she said, knowing she was babbling, but unable to stop. “He’s alive, and good, and now we’re going to save Cyrus.”

  She got on her knees and tried to pour more of her vivicus magic into Reaper, but it met a wall.

  “It was a heart attack,” Thai said, his tone gentle.

  “I killed him,” Valerie said. “And Cyrus…Cyrus...”

  If the ground beneath her feet dropped out from under her, it would make more sense than Cyrus being gone. The pain went too deep for tears.

  “Oh, please, don’t let it be true,” Valerie whispered, as Thai pulled her to him.

  Henry rested his hand on her shoulder. “You can’t fold yet. Stay with me. We’re not done.”

  The raw pain of losing Cyrus threatened to swallow her, but she pushed it back. Not yet. She sucked in a steadying breath and turned to meet Henry’s eyes, allowing him into her mind so he could see that she’d hold it together, for now.

  She took a step forward and almost tripped over Reaper’s corpse. She’d almost forgotten about him, even as she’d tried to heal him. She was surprised that she felt nothing toward Reaper anymore. No rage for what he’d done, or guilt over causing his death. Only a little relief that her greatest enemy—the world’s greatest enemy—was dead.

  Chapter 41

  Valerie felt detached from herself, as if her body could go on working and fighting, even though her heart was broken. The part of her mind that wasn’t reliving Cyrus’s death considered the battle still raging around her. The Fractus were shaken, their weapons slipping as they cast glances at Reaper’s body lying behind her. With the reinforcements from the People of the Woods, the Fist had the advantage.

  Henry gave her a mint that would amplify her voice. “End this. They need to know Reaper’s gone.”

  Valerie sucked on the mint before speaking. “Your leader has fallen. I know many of you fought at Reaper’s side out of fear, and I ask you to cast down your weapons. I cannot promise that you will all be pardoned, but I do swear that you will all receive justice.”

  The Grand Master of the Illuminators’ Guild was the first to throw down his weapon. The bear loped toward her, and Valerie tensed.

  He stopped in front of her and spoke. “The vivicus could have killed me more than once, or ordered someone to do it, but she never did. I know she held back her magic so she didn’t do more damage than she had to. I will surrender to her and abide by the decision of the Justice Guild.”

  After hearing his words, more Fractus dropped their weapons, and those left gripping theirs were outnumbered. They followed suit grudgingly.

  Chisisi wound his way through the crowd to stand by her side. “Per your orders, my people are prepared to take the Fractus prisoners.”

  “Per your suggestion, you mean,” Valerie said with a slight smile. “I never thought we’d make it to the point where we’d be the ones in a position to organize the surrender.”

  Chisisi smiled, a real one that made his eyes crinkle. “My suggestion, then. I had faith in you when I first met you at Mena House. Today, you lived up to my highest hopes. I thank you for your service.”

  Chisisi hugged her, and her body sagged. His kindness nearly unraveled her, right there on the battlefield, but she couldn’t let herself feel yet. She pushed her friend away and took a deep, shaky breath.

  “Go home, young miss.”

  “Soon,” she promised.

  In Silva, the fighting continued to rage, fierce and brutal. When word spread that Reaper was dead and Valerie was offering to protect anyone who surrendered, the effect wasn’t as powerful as it had been on Earth.

  It was a civil war—Knights fighting Knights, guilds turning against each other. So Valerie raised her sword and entered the fray with Thai and Henry. She tried not to think about how Cyrus should have been there, too, meeting with the Healers and helping with light treatments.

  Explosions rocked The Horseshoe as Steven and Willa used dynamite to keep the Fractus constantly moving. It was effective in preventing them from rallying into cohesive groups, but it was devastating to the buildings. The guilds, which were already pock-marked with chips from the battle, crumbled further.

  Kanti brought her soldiers back from Earth to help with the battle in Silva, and even though they were weary, sheer numbers had the effect that Valerie’s words hadn’t. The Fractus who didn’t retreat were captured, and the fighting ended as the light from the day disappeared.

  ”What’s next?” she asked, after she and Skye finalized the details of the surrender inside the heavily damaged Capitol Building.

  The centaur bowed his head and swayed a little on his hooves. “We rest.”

  Valerie patted his flank. “You’re right. Let’s get some sleep.”

  Henry had left with Kanti hours ago, but Thai had waited for her. He was asleep on a bench in the hall, his head tipped back against the wall. H
is face was gray, and for the first time, Valerie thought about the toll the day had taken on him. If it wouldn’t completely humiliate him, she’d scoop him up and carry him home like a baby. She was strong enough.

  The idea almost made her grin, but she thought of who would laugh the hardest at that idea and her mirth vanished. Had she forgotten, even for a second, that her best friend was dead? An image of Cyrus’s blood, still slick on her hands, passed through her mind with perfect clarity, and all of her self-control crumbled.

  She heard the echoes of Sanguina’s cries before Reaper killed her, and images of the bodies that littered the desert and The Horseshoe kept coming and coming, a kind of mental torture that made what Zunya and Sanguina had done to her as a child pale in comparison. Flecks of Cyrus’s blood were still on her hands, which began to shake uncontrollably.

  One of her tears hit Thai’s cheek, and he woke up.

  “How am I supposed to survive this?” she asked him.

  Even tired and battered, he didn’t miss a beat. “With me. This is only the first night. It won’t always hurt this much.”

  Valerie couldn’t remember walking home and going to bed. When she woke up, it was dark outside, and she guessed that she’d slept through the entire day. Her grief was a weight on her chest, like a living thing that wouldn’t budge, but the sharp edge of her pain had dulled a little.

  She cracked an eye open and saw Clarabelle sleeping with her nose on Valerie’s windowsill. Even asleep, the little unicorn lent her a measure of peace.

  Welcome back. Azra joined her foal at Valerie’s window, her mane shining silver in the starlight. Clarabelle told me of your change. How do you feel?

  “My change?” Valerie rubbed her eyes, trying to focus.

  Your vivicus powers are but an ember inside of you after expending them so completely on Reaper. They are not completely gone, but no longer yours to wield.

  Valerie turned her gaze inward, frantic at first, searching for the power that was always at her core, a kind of fuel that was as fundamental to who she was as her DNA. It was still there, but now, it was like looking at it from behind bulletproof glass, untouchable.

  “I’ll never be able to save anyone again?” she asked, not sure whether she was relieved or terrified.

  Not with your vivicus power. But now, it cannot strip your mind.

  “I’m free,” Valerie said, and even with all of the horror she had yet to process, the idea was exhilarating.

  She wouldn’t mentally abandon Henry and Thai and everyone she loved. She wouldn’t ever forget Midnight, Dulcea, Sanguina, her dad, Cyrus. The relief that they’d always be with her was profound.

  You have created a new possibility for a future that has never been conceived of before. There is work ahead, but it doesn’t have to be your work if you don’t want it to be. The war is over. You could truly be free now.

  Valerie combed her fingers through Clarabelle’s mane, and the unicorn’s sounds of contentment pinged her mind. She didn’t know if she’d ever be free of her memories, but she’d learn to be happy some times in spite of them, she hoped.

  “Will I see more of you and Clarabelle now that the war is over? Will the Grand Masters elect you as their Grand Chair now that Reaper’s gone?”

  You will see me, though not as Grand Chair. Clarabelle and I have a new calling.

  Valerie was puzzled. “What do you mean?”

  Azra’s smile was so warm that her eyes seemed to glow. A new race of unicorns is rising. Clarabelle will not be alone. Together, we will usher in a new generation.

  Valerie didn’t breathe, afraid she’d break the magic of the moment. “How is that possible?”

  The legends say unicorns arose from Arctic snows laced with the purest magic. Vivicus magic could be the only thing that would have made such a thing happen again. When you saved Clarabelle’s life, you awakened the possibility of future generations of unicorns within her. Then, when you and your friends awakened the magic within everyone, you also awakened long-dormant magic within the Earth. That combination of power has allowed our race to arise again.

  It was a legacy that even Cyrus would have deemed worthy of him.

  Thank you, Valerie.

  Valerie couldn’t sleep after talking with Azra, so she decided to visit the hospital in Arbor Aurum to meet with her wounded soldiers. Azra might say her responsibility as leader of the Fist had ended, but she knew better. She owed her soldiers a debt that couldn’t be repaid, but for the ones who still lived, she could acknowledge it.

  The sounds within the People’s hospital made Valerie’s stomach clench. Would this war ever truly be over, or would the sounds of it, the wounds from it, live with her forever? She moved from bed to bed, clutching hands and murmuring words that she hoped were comforting.

  She saw Kanti’s dad, George, quietly singing to a soldier who was missing an arm and moaning in pain. The healing power of George’s song put the soldier to sleep. Valerie knew that, somewhere, Kanti’s sisters Isabella and Amaryllis, along with their mother, Pauline, were also helping the sick for a few days before they returned to Elsinore. Peach was working with Kanti to get the soldiers from Elsinore paid and returned home. Valerie avoided them all, not up to the task of small talk in the face of so much suffering.

  She almost tripped over Cara, who was bent over the bed of a moaning soldier. Light pulsed from her, and the moaning stopped. Cara turned and saw Valerie, and her face seized up, as if she were in intense pain.

  “I’m sorry—” Valerie began, but Cara stopped her with a fierce hug.

  “Don’t. Everything you could say I already know. If my brother had to die, then he went the way he would have wanted, as a hero, saving the person he loved the most. I could never blame you. The only person to blame is dead, right?”

  Valerie nodded, hardly able to speak without crying. “Your parents?”

  Cara had moved her parents into a home in the trees a few days before the battle, and a cowardly part of Valerie had been grateful that she hadn’t had to face them when she returned to her home.

  Cara wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “They want to go home, to Messina, and to take me with them.”

  Ceru approached them, and his expression as he watched Cara was tender. “I hope you will not leave us. Or me.”

  Cara’s ears turned pink, and she had trouble meeting Ceru’s gaze. “Why?”

  “Because we need you here.”

  Valerie quietly slipped away, leaving them to their moment. In spite of his protectiveness, Cyrus would have been glad that his sister found solace in her love for someone that he had trusted, too.

  She saw a glow coming from someone sitting on a cot nearby. The light was so warm, like Cyrus’s, that she almost thought he’d found a way back to her, after all. But a second look showed her a form that she was much more familiar with seeing at a hospital bedside.

  “Dr. Freeman?” she asked.

  His face was lit up when he saw her. “I have magic now. I can work with light.”

  “That is—was—my best friend’s power,” she said softly, so she didn’t choke on the words.

  “Whatever you and your friends did today, it woke up my power inside me. There are so many more people I can help now that you’ve made magic possible on both worlds,” Dr. Freeman said.

  The way the light in the room clung to him reminded her so much of Cyrus that she had to shut her eyes to get her bearings. “You’re here to help with light treatments for the Conjurors who were touched by the dark blades?”

  “Yes. That’s where I’m most needed today. But I am eager to talk with the Healers to see what we can do to help humans. Think of the thousands, millions of lives we can save.”

  Dr. Freeman’s awe was a brilliant thing, and it made Valerie smile when she didn’t think the muscles in her face would ever remember how to do such a thing again.

  “Thank you,” she said, and he gripped her in a hug.

  “I could not be more proud of you for what yo
u accomplished today if you were my own daughter.”

  Years later, when Valerie remembered that conversation, she knew that it was his words that kept her heart from going into a deep freeze of guilt and grief.

  Thai was waiting for her on the doorstep, sketching on his drawing pad, when she returned home. She hadn’t seen him do that since before the war had started, and it made her smile, especially when she saw that he was drawing the curve of a neck that looked a lot like her own. When he saw her, he quickly put it away.

  “Emin?” she asked, deciding not to embarrass him by demanding to see what he’d been working on.

  “Still at Elden’s. I think he might decide to stay there,” Thai said. “I’m going to miss that little guy. He was a bright spot in this house.”

  “I can see how Henry and I might not be the most lighthearted of roommates. I can’t imagine how bleak it would have been around here without Emin…and you.”

  Thai stood, and she came closer so she could peer up at his shadowed face.

  “You brought me joy, too,” he said, his voice low. “Every day, even when I was scared of the risks you were taking or mad at how you didn’t take care of yourself. I know you can’t think about us being together right now, with losing Cyrus and figuring out your vivicus powers. But can I hold you?”

  She leaned forward and pressed her cheek against his heart. His arms around her were warm and tight. At last, she didn’t have to fight what she wanted any longer. Her mind had survived the war, and now her vivicus power was tucked away from her, where it couldn’t hurt her anymore.

  “I can think about it. I don’t want to go another day without you, Thai.”

  He pulled away then so he could look into her face. Her conversation with Azra tumbled out, and Thai listened to every word.

  He kissed her forehead. “This doesn’t change much for me. I want what I’ve always wanted—to be with you. But I’m glad that now you can let yourself be with me, too.”