Someone Like You

by Syd Parker

  Chapter 22

  Lex’s brown eyes scanned the crowded restaurant and settled on Cass just seconds before she waived Lex over to the table. Weaving her way through tables, Lex had to smother a smirk. She and Cass were so very different from the other couples celebrating Valentine’s Day. She shot Cass an apologetic smile and pulled her into her arms when she reached the table. “Hi.”

  “Hi, yourself.” Cass held her a second longer, relishing the feel of Lex’s strong arms around hers.

  “Sorry I’m late. Traffic was a bear on the freeway.” Lex settled in her chair and rested her elbows on the table, regarding Cass thoughtfully. “You look good.”

  “You look good, too.” Cass’s smile didn’t reach her eyes, though she tried. “How are you?”

  Lex looked out the window, averting her eyes from Cass’s searching gaze. She watched the snow falling gently outside, contemplating her answer. Was she good? She really didn’t know anymore. It had been a month since she had seen Aspen and most mornings she still woke up missing her. Lex met Cass’s eyes finally and smiled wistfully. “I’m okay, I guess. How are you?”

  “Mmm, fine.” Cass’s voice trembled, belying her words. She busied herself with her napkin, needing to compose herself. Seeing Lex was harder than she thought it would be. She still hadn’t gotten over the breakup, and this impromptu meeting had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she was starting to regret the idea.

  “You’re lying, Cass.” Lex reached across the table and covered her hand. “I’m sorry for everything.”

  “I know.” Cass looked down at her lap and took several deep breaths. “So are you and Aspen back together?”

  Lex pulled her hand away and shook her head. Her eyes were haunted and sad. “No.”

  As much as Cass wanted to exult in the news, she could see the fresh pain in Lex’s face, and her heart broke for her. No matter what happened, she wanted Lex to be happy, even if it meant she was happy with someone else. “What happened?”

  Lex shrugged. “She didn’t want me.”

  Cass could tell from her tone that it wasn’t as simple as that, but she didn’t push. “If you need to talk about it, I’m here.”

  “I know.” Lex shot her a grateful smile. “You shouldn’t be so nice, considering…”

  Cass shot her a sarcastic look. “You mean considering you ripped my heart out, stomped on it and gave it back to me.”

  Lex laughed nervously. “Yeah, something like that.”

  “I’ll live.” Cass waived her hand dismissively. She opened her mouth to speak again, but paused when the waiter appeared at the side of their table, setting glasses of ice water and warm bread between them. Having eaten here before, both women knew what they wanted and placed their orders quickly. Cass watched him retreat from the table then rested her chin on her hands. She wanted to be calm and collected and not let Lex know that she was still as affected by her as she was, but now, looking into her brown eyes, Cass was lost again. All her unaffected reserve was nowhere to be found. “What about us, Lex? Is there any chance for us?”

  Lex smiled sadly. No matter what had happened with Aspen, she couldn’t get back with Cass. It wasn’t fair to either of them. Cass deserved better than someone whose heart was miles away. “I’m…”

  Cass reached across the table and squeezed Lex’s hand. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it. I can see it in your eyes.” Cass pulled her hand away and shrugged, ignoring the tears that pooled in her eyes. Her laugh was self-deprecating. “Guess I just like to punish myself.”

  “We don’t have to do this, Cass.” Lex leaned forward and held Cass’s gaze. She felt tremendous guilt for all the empty promises she had made and for the years she had stolen from her. If Lex could take them back, she would.

  “No, I need to.” Cass swiped at her eyes. “I needed to be able to say my good-byes too. It’s kind of sad, you know. It’s been months, and I still wake up thinking it was all a bad dream. That you will be coming home from a trip, and we’ll make love just like old times. Then I wake up and feel the empty space beside me, and I know it’s a real-life nightmare.” She dabbed at her eyes again. “God, I’m a fucked-up mess. Pining after someone who doesn’t even love me.”

  Lex felt her heart drop into her stomach. “Come on, Cass. It isn’t like that. I love you.”

  “You’re just not in love with me.” Cass laughed sarcastically. “I should be happy that you’re miserable too, but I’m not. In some twisted way, I am sad for you. I never wanted anything except to make you happy. I think I always knew that you would break my heart one day. I tried to make up for that by holding on too tightly. In the end, it just made us both miserable.”

  “I know.” Lex’s voice was so quiet that it was almost lost in the low din of the crowded restaurant. “I want the same for you. I’m sorry I wasn’t the right one for you.”

  Cass smiled sadly. “Me too.” Needing to get herself under control again, she grabbed a slice of bread and buttered it, handing it to Lex. If there were anything that she could do to take her mind off her pain, it was taking care of Lex. She had always felt the need to nurture her. It was the closest thing to mothering instincts that Cass would ever have.

  “Thank you.” Lex took a bite and chewed quietly. “So what’s next?”

  “I didn’t know until now.” Cass smiled wistfully. “I wasn’t sure before, but now I know.”

  Lex cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

  “I got offered a job in Paris with Dior.” Cass was smiling now, and for the first time it actually reached her eyes.

  “Are you serious?” Lex’s smile matched Cass’s. “That is awesome!”

  “I know.” Cass shook her head in disbelief. “I’m going to be working with some of the most amazing designers in the fashion industry.”

  “That’s wonderful, really.” Lex sipped her water. “I’m so proud of you, Cass. Were you honestly thinking about not taking the job?”

  Cass nodded. “That’s why I needed to see you first. I thought if there were any chance that we would get back together, I would stay. But that’s a moot point now, so…”

  “Ahh, Cass. You shouldn’t make decisions based on me.” Lex felt a new wave of guilt wash over her.

  “I know.” Cass shrugged. “But I can’t help it. I’m still in love with you. Call it wishful thinking.” Composing herself quickly, she smiled. “Honestly, I’m relieved.”

  Lex’s jaw dropped in mock horror. “Hey!”

  “Sorry.” Cass smiled indulgently. “I really, really wanted it. You just made the decision a lot easier.”

  “Well, I’m glad I could help.” Lex laughed disparagingly. “I’m happy for you, Cass. You deserve it.”

  “Thank you.” Cass met Lex’s eyes and for the first time in months, she started to feel like tomorrow wasn’t going to be so bad. She was actually looking forward to it. “I’m still in shock. I mean, it’s Dior. That’s the big leagues. Everything I worked for has led up to this.”

  “It’s great, Cass.” Lex was beaming now. Despite not being truly in love with Cass, Lex did love her, and she honestly wanted her to be happy. “When do you start?”

  Cass waited for the server to set plates of steaming food on the table and make sure they were alright before she answered. “They want me to be there in April. That gives me time to get everything moved over. They are paying all my moving expenses and putting me up in an apartment in Paris. I figured I would get there in March, so I had time to get used to the city before I started.”

  “Wow, that’s fast.” Lex exclaimed around a bite of juicy filet with Bordelaise sauce.

  “It is, but they want me to help with the fall fashion show. It’s big, Lex. This isn’t New York anymore.” Cass ate several bites of her green curry shrimp. “I’m kind of nervous.”

  “You shouldn’t be.” Lex offered supportively. “You are amazing.”

  “I’m good. I don’t know about amazing.” Cass laughed softly. “But I’m g
oing to have fun trying.”

  “Look, they wouldn’t have offered you the job if you weren’t amazing. Like you said, it’s big.”

  “True.” Cass smiled gratefully. “Thank you, by the way.”

  “For?”

  “For dumping me.” Cass smiled, letting Lex know she was teasing. “I would have stayed here otherwise.”

  “And I would have made you go.” Lex countered. “I would never hold you back. Cass, you’re bigger than this town and greater than we ever were. Even if we had been together, I would have done everything in my power to get you to take this job.”

  “I know.” Cass set her fork down and sipped her wine. “Do you think there’s a chance that we could still be friends?”

  “Really?” Lex was surprised by the question. That seemed to be all she had lately. Everyone wanted to be friends. She hadn’t expected Cass to make such a request given their history, but maybe Lex was the one with the issue and not everyone else. It gave her pause.

  “Yes.” Cass eyed Lex suspiciously. “Why not?”

  “I don’t know.” Lex shrugged. “I guess I figured you would want to put all this behind you.”

  “Despite the fact that I wasn’t what you wanted, I still love you and enjoy spending time with you.” Cass shot Lex a winsome smile, making her beautiful face light up once more. “When I’m missing American food, I need someone to go on an Angelo’s run with me.”

  “Well, far be it from me to keep you from your favorite Italian dive.” Lex chuckled softly. For the time being, it seemed as though Cass was going to be okay. Now, she just needed to figure out how to be alright herself. If Cass could smile and look forward to tomorrow, maybe Lex could figure out a way to do that too. Mentally checking herself, Lex decided tomorrow she would figure out a way to be happy again. “So, does this apartment have room for company?”

  Cass smiled excitedly. “Yes!”

  “Good.” Lex returned her smile. “I think when Ma finds out you’re in Paris, she will make me take her over there.”

  Cass snorted loudly. “Oh lord, Maria loose in Paris. That could be dangerous.”

  “I think I’m more afraid for them then I am for Ma.” Lex waggled her eyebrows. “My apologies to the French.”

  Cass laughed out loud. “God help us.”

  Lex studied Cass’s face as they finished dinner. She knew that Cass would be okay, and she hoped that one day she would be too.

  Cass watched Lex for several more minutes, memorizing her face. “Can I say something and you not take it the wrong way?”

  “Sure.” Lex said hesitantly. “I guess.”

  “If she still loves you which, I suspect she does, fight for her.” Cass’s tone was serious, and she pinned Lex with her gaze. “Years from now, don’t look back on this and regret giving up.”

  Lex shook her head. “Sometimes, love isn’t enough and I have to accept that.”

  “Sometimes a woman just needs to be reminded how much you love her.” Cass squeezed Lex’s hand.

  “I told her.” Lex replied sadly.

  “Show her, Lex.” Cass wasn’t sure where she got the strength to offer advice. In a way, it was a comfort looking out for Lex one last time. “I saw what walking away did to you the first time. Don’t make the same mistake twice. If it doesn’t work, let her be the one to walk away.”

  Lex looked down at the table and rubbed her temple. She ran her hand through her hair and sighed loudly. “I think it’s too late for that.”

  “Lex.” Cass leaned forward and caught Lex’s chin in her hand, forcing Lex to look her squarely in the eyes. “Promise me.”

  Lex swallowed the lump in her throat. Her emotions wouldn’t allow her to speak, so she nodded in agreement. Lex would at least let Cass believe in happy ever after, even if she herself had lost faith.

  Chapter 23

  “Guinness, please.” Aspen shooed Guinness out of the way and put the last stack of dishes away and dusted her hands off on her jeans. “That’s everything.”

  Ginny picked up Guinness and hugged him to her chest, turned a circle in the kitchen and smiled. “I can’t believe everything fit.”

  “I can.” Aspen laughed and kissed her aunt on the cheek. “You left almost everything in the house.”

  Ginny smiled sheepishly. “I wanted to make sure you were comfortable. You really didn’t come with that much.”

  “The bunkhouse is comfy enough. I could have moved a lot of that over and still had too much.” Aspen put her hands on her hips and sighed loudly. “You think Mom is done yet?”

  “Probably not, you know your mom.” Ginny rolled her eyes and set Guinness down so he could scamper through the apartment and sniff every single corner thoroughly. “If she would have let us help, she could have been done hours ago. She sold off most of everything she had on the farm. I don’t think she took up more than a couple of feet in the moving truck. I guess we can check on her. I’m getting a bit hungry myself, and I plan on taking advantage of all restaurants here. “You joining us?”

  “I guess.” Aspen shrugged. “I hadn’t really given it much thought.”

  “Well, missy, you better start thinking about it.” Ginny narrowed her eyes and gave her niece the once over. “When was the last time you ate?”

  “This morning before my flight.”

  “Honey, you left yesterday, remember?” Ginny frowned. Her brows furrowed with concern. She grabbed Aspen’s hand and pulled it towards her face, inspecting her fingernails. They were smudged with the telltale staining of her charcoal pencils. She squeezed her hand and gave her another once over. “Please tell me you’re taking care of yourself. You look as thin as a rail.”

  Aspen felt her cheeks redden, and she pulled her button-down shirt around her more tightly, hiding her thin frame. Truth be told, she was so busy finishing pieces for her show and trying not to think about Lex that she didn’t remember to eat as much as she should to stay healthy. “I’m eating.”

  Ginny looked askance at Aspen. “I love it down here, but don’t think I won’t march my happy ass up there to make sure you are taking care of yourself.”

  “I know.” Aspen looked down at her feet. “It’ll be better once the show is over.”

  “That’s still a month away. You will waste away to nothing by then.” Ginny pursed her lips and forced Aspen to look at her. “Promise me you will start taking better care of yourself.”

  “I know.” Aspen mumbled. “I’ll do better. Promise.”

  “What are you promising?” Susan stepped into the kitchen and eyed them suspiciously.

  “Nothing. Just that I would visit often.” Aspen shot her a smile, silently hoping she bought her lie.

  “Humph.” Susan scoffed at the answer, but let it drop. “You ready to eat? I’m starved.”

  Both Ginny and Aspen hastily agreed.

  “Well, come on then.” Susan said impatiently.

  “Yes, Mom.” Aspen shot her aunt a look and rolled her eyes. Little did her mother know that they had actually been waiting on her.

  Twenty minutes later, they were seated at the open dining room in the Lighthouse Bar and Grill. Somehow, Ginny managed to avoid adjoining condos. There were only three buildings that separated them, but it gave Ginny the space she needed. She loved her sister, but she could certainly get on her nerves. Their meals and socializing provided them with plenty of time together.

  “So Mom, are you all settled?” Aspen peered up from her menu.

  “For the most part, I am. I’ll probably have to buy a few pieces of furniture, but your aunt and I can worry about that later.” Susan removed her reading glasses and set them on the table. She gave her daughter a long look before frowning. “When was the last time you ate?”

  Aspen rolled her eyes. “Mom, seriously, I’m thirty-three years old. You don’t need to mother me.”

  “You mean smother.” Ginny snorted loudly.

  “Hmm.” Aspen shot her aunt a cheeky smile. “Like you.”

  Ginny f
eigned shock then broke out in laughter. “Well, sister, how on earth is she going to survive without us?”

  Aspen shook her head and buried her face in her menu, ignoring the laughter of the two older women. “I’m ignoring you right now.” She waved her hand in a hurry along gesture and sighed loudly. “Perhaps you both can stop picking on me and decide what you want to eat. I’m starving, and I’m not getting any younger.”

  This brought on a new round of laughter, and it was several more minutes before they could get themselves settled down enough to even think about reading a menu. Susan slipped her glasses back on and eyed the menu. “Are you all ready for your show?”

  “Yes.” Aspen nodded and looked up from her menu briefly. “I’d like to get another couple of pieces finished, but if I don’t I think I can stretch it out. It’s Gallery 29 in the Chelsea art district. I had them email me the layout of the gallery, and it lends itself well to my exhibition. It’s just a small, industrial space, but the entire front is glass and faces the street; so all three walls are visible when you walk by. Plus, it’s on the Chelsea gallery walking tour in the middle of spring. I should get a ton of exposure.”

  Susan watched her daughter’s face light up, but the sadness in her eyes hit home. It was the same forlorn look she had seen in them since Lex had left five years ago. Aspen didn’t talk much about their time in the bunkhouse, and Susan hadn’t pressed. “How long is the exhibition?”

  “It’s a bit over a month.” Aspen offered quickly. “I know it’s not a long time, but it’s a start. I’m hoping to get a permanent show somewhere. I think I’ll look a little closer to home. There are some neat galleries in Burlington.”

  “Are you going to be okay by yourself?” Susan asked quickly. She knew she shouldn’t worry about her daughter so much, but moving so far away was making her maternal instincts more honed.

  “My goodness, Susan. Leave the poor girl alone.” Ginny patted Aspen’s hand. “She’s fine. Let her be and order your dinner.” She smiled at the waitress who appeared at the table.