Free Bird

by Amelia Oliver

  Sven throws an arm over my shoulder, kissing my temple before we part and I head toward Gwen and another girl I haven’t seen before. She’s tan and has long dark hair. She’s ethereal and mystical looking. There’s something about her, like a layer of light surrounds her and I find myself taken back by her presence.

  “Faye, this is-”

  “Hi, I’m Shine. It’s beautiful to meet you,” she says, taking both my hands in hers as she holds them and closes her eyes for a beat.

  “This is Jasper’s new girl,” Gwen says with a shrug as we both watch her.

  “You have a great aura, I’d love to read you sometime,” she smiles, opening her eyes slowly.

  “Read me?” I question looking between her and Gwen.

  “I do tarot readings, palms, tea leaves. I think you’d be really open to a reading,” she adds, her voice a smooth, almost melodic tone that has me relaxing.

  She’s still holding my hands and then looks between me and Gwen. “I’m so sorry if you guys are weirded out right now, I took a ton of shrooms before I got here. I get nervous meeting new people,” she says.

  I smile at her. “Well, there’s nothing to be nervous about, just stick with us,” I tell her.

  “Right on,” she sighs.

  I take in her appearance. She’s wearing a dress that’s transparent, hinting the tips of each breast and the hair between her legs. I wonder if she knows it’s completely see-thru and want to tell her, but Gwen asks, “Got any more shrooms?”

  We go into one of the apartments in the clubhouse, and Shine grabs a purse off the bed. She digs around the contents and retrieves a little baggy. Lifting the skirt of her long dress as she sits on the bed, she tucks it between her thighs before two fingers disappear into the bag.

  “Ever done these before?” she asks, and Gwen and I shake our heads. “Okay, cool. I’ll look after you,” she says, before holding out brown dried mushrooms on her palms.

  13

  SVEN

  It’s a few hours into the party, and I haven’t seen Missy since we got here. I don’t know if she’s mad about me not verbalizing that I was hers and that Tippy, or any woman for that matter, were not even contenders for my cock. She didn’t help me with said cock in the truck, but I keep telling myself it’s because Owen startled her. The longer we’ve been together, the more I realize how out of character our first time together was for her. Not the mind altering, fucking amazing part, but that we did it in front of people. Yes, they weren’t really paying attention to us, but still. She’s still fairly modest and very much still guided by her upbringing as a lady. I also knew every time she did something a little challenging for her, trying to become her own woman, she’d struggle to ignore the little voice in the back of her head I imagine sounds like Gaye. I just want her to be carefree and not be reminded every time she did something, if Gaye would approve.

  I’m about to go find Missy when she appears in the hallway of the apartments. I can see her from where I’m sitting, through the bodies standing around, some dancing. She’s with Gwen and some other chick I don’t know.

  “There’s my ass,” Jasper says and I realize he’s talking about the girl I don’t know. She must be the chick he picked up hitchhiking a few days ago. Of course, he hasn’t said one decent thing about her, other than she lets him fuck her whenever. Because that’s all Jasper wants from someone, to do whatever he wants them to.

  I can tell, even before I can hear her, that Missy is drunk or something. She appears relaxed and all three girls are laughing and holding onto one another. Missy’s wide grin has her eyes crinkling and, God, she’s so beautiful. Pushing my chair out from the table, I reach out for her as she gets closer and pull her on my lap. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and leans down to my ear.

  “Hi.”

  “Hey, babe.”

  “Havin’ fun?” she asks.

  “Mhmm, you?”

  She leans back to look at me. “We took-”

  “Shrooms,” Gwen says loudly as she talks to Joseph. The couple sitting beside us.

  “Yeah, that,” Missy smiles.

  My hand reaches up to touch the side of her face and her eyes close. “Feelin’ good?” I ask, her face pushing into my hand and her bottom shifts on my lap against my dick.

  “Mmmm,” she purrs, leaning back toward me, bringing her lips right to mine. “Your hands feel good on me,” she says.

  I’ve taken mushrooms, I know what she’s feeling. Heightened everything. Sights, sounds, touches, everything. Her hands run up my chest as she begins to kiss my neck, which causes me to straighten in my seat. I glance over and see Gwen and Joseph kissing, while Jasper and his girl head toward the apartments. I’m drunk, but I know Missy is not just wanting to kiss me. Hands push up under my shirt, stroking my bare flesh. The party is carrying on around us and no one seems to notice us, so I let her continue, my cock springing to life once again since its rejection in the truck.

  “Shit,” I moan as her lips suckle my neck like she knows I like.

  “Touch me,” she says in my ear, before moving to the other side of my neck.

  My eyes close as my head falls back, allowing more room for her lips. My hands move to her hips, pulling her down against my lap and she groans loudly. The vibration shakes my core, and my cock. Again, I press her with my hands, down and forward, making sure she knows what she’s doing. Her hands leave me and I open my eyes to see her groping her tits, cupping them and rubbing them.

  “Shit, what are you doing?” I ask, but can’t get myself to stop her.

  “Damn,” I hear someone say behind me.

  “I just,” Missy breathes out, her eyes closing. She’s looks so fucking sexy as her head tilts back and I grab the back of her head to force our lips together.

  “There you go Sven,” someone else says near me. “Look at his hot little piece of ass, big titties too,” another says.

  I know I must be more messed up on booze and weed than I think, because I can’t even muster a retort, or pick Missy up and move us to my apartment. Then, she breaks away and slides off me and onto her knees. My hands cup her cheeks and neck as she hastily tears away the bindings covering my cock. I’m so fucking hard and ready, nothing is on my mind but her mouth on me. The way her eyes spark when she sees me spring out, her hunger and want, want for me. I inhale deeply as she opens her mouth and takes me in. My hips buck and my thighs tighten as my head drops back, before raising back up and taking handfuls of her hair to hold back and guide her up and down.

  “Damn, look at her mouth, brother. Think she wants more?”

  “She’s hot for it.”

  “Think I could join them?”

  I hear these comments, and know people are watching us, but she feels too good…too fucking good. She moves on me fast and hard, taking me deep and sucking like a fucking vacuum.

  “Oh my God,” Gwen laughs beside me. “Faye!” she adds with another giggle.

  Hearing her name knocks me back into reality and what’s going on. I get my shit together and with every ounce of sense I have, I push Missy’s mouth off me, tuck my cock back into my pants and lift Missy up into my arms. She straddles my hips and resumes her kissing of my neck.

  “Oh, come on, man!”

  Fuck these guys, and fuck me for even letting it get as far as it did. I don’t stop walking until I get us to my apartment, kick the door closed and lay Missy on the bed, worshiping her pussy with my mouth.

  14

  MISSY

  I wake from the sun on my face. With a groan and a wince, I raise a hand to my face and cover my eyes. I don’t remember anything from last night. Wait, yes, I do. I remember taking shrooms and that’s it. I hope I didn’t make an ass of myself. Feeling around the mattress, it’s empty beside me and for a moment I begin to panic at where I am. Snapping my eyes open, I sigh when I realize I’m in Sven’s bed in his club apartment. Glancing at the clock, it’s noon and I mentally tally how I feel: mild headache, sore jaw, ache between my
legs. The headache is from partying and the others are from Sven.

  I hear a thud and a man’s raised voice. Was this what woke me? I begin to think it is when it happens again a second later because their fighting is loud and physical. For some reason, I worry Gwen’s involved, I don’t know why. But I get up, find Sven’s t-shirt on the floor and put it on, the hem reaching down to mid-thigh. However, I don’t care because the man’s voice is getting louder and more aggressive and it lodges my heart in my throat.

  Tentatively, I enter the hallway, the smell food cooking from the main area hits my stomach and I notice the door to the apartment to the left ajar. There’s crashing of glass and more angry words. It’s Jasper. I hadn’t realized his apartment was next door. I then hear Shine crying, speaking softly, and crying. Tiptoeing to the door, I steel myself for what I might see and peak in the opening. Jasper has her hair pulled into a fist. Shine’s naked but my eyes are focused on the bruised and red flesh on her biceps, her knees. Jasper’s yelling in her face about being a whore and a slut and she’s shaking her head as best she can as she pleads for him to let her go. I hold my breath. I’ve never seen anything like this before and I don’t know what to do. He throws her on the bed, face first, then undoes his pants and moves behind her and I turn away before he starts fucking her.

  I’m outraged, I don’t know why, I don’t know this girl, but I know it isn’t right what he’s doing. My bare feet slap along the hallway as I walk toward the main part of the club. There’s a lot of members and some females sitting at the tables and bar, eating lunch or drinking coffee. I see Sven straight away, sitting with two men I don’t know. He notices me and his expression swiftly changes from happiness to worry. I’m braless and half naked, but I don’t care.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, standing.

  “Jasper,” I begin, lowering my tone when I notice everyone turn to watch us. “He’s being abusive to Shine,” I state.

  Sven just looks at me. He just looks at me.

  “Did you hear what I said?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” he says, scratching his beard and looking over my shoulder toward the hallway, before looking back at me.

  “Are you gonna stop him?” I ask with raised brows.

  “No.”

  I blink, confused, honestly confused.

  “No?” I question.

  “That’s his shit. He’s like that with every girl. I gave up trying to get him to stop years ago. She’s an adult, Missy, she can leave just like the others eventually did.”

  His words have me puzzled, and a bit shocked to be honest. They bounce around my head and I decide that if he won’t do anything about it, then I will. I begin to turn away and head back toward the apartments when I hear it.

  “Hey Sven, your girl’s mouth ready for my cock this morning?”

  What? My brows slowly lower and furrow. Sven says nothing as I stop and face him. He looks sheepish and a hot flush creeps over my neck that bleeds up to my cheeks. I know if he isn’t defending me, then something happened.

  “What happened last night?” I question softly.

  His eyes dart away from mine, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

  “Girl, you put on a show so damn good all the guys were wanting their dicks sucked. My fucking jaw’s still sore,” a woman to my left says.

  I don’t even turn to look at her, I can’t look.

  “Sven?” I question, holding my breath, silently praying he tells me they’re lying.

  But he says nothing. Nothing. My hands ball into fists as I turn and head back to his apartment. I hear some of the guys ribbing Sven as- I assume- he follows me, but I can’t hear the words over the blood pumping in my ears. Jasper’s door is closed now and I feel a whirlwind of conflict inside me. My feet feel like lead as I approach the door I’d left ajar, and push it open, so hard it claps against the wall.

  “Missy,” Sven says, coming in after me and closing the door.

  “Oh, now you want privacy?” I state, gathering my clothes from the floor.

  “It wasn’t like that-”

  “What was it like then?” I ask, pausing to face him, “Because I don’t remember.”

  “I don’t get what you’re mad about! The first time we fucked, there were people there. I was messed up last night, Missy-”

  “Did you know what we were doing?” I ask, stopping and waiting for an answer although the question is apparently rhetorical. “Because I didn’t! I knew what I was doing that first time. Last night, shit I don’t even…did you know I was that fucked up?”

  He knows I have him on this, and it fucking kills me.

  “Is that all women are to you guys? Sex holes and punching bags?” I huff, putting my skirt on and zipping it. “No one bats an eye to a girl getting her butt beat…am I a sweet bottom now? Is that what I am?” I stop, my mind whirling and racing with my disgust.

  “You tell me! You won’t marry me, so what am I supposed to think?” he questions.

  I close my eyes, because yes, Sven did propose to me. Not down on one knee or with a ring or anything, he just asked. I told him I wasn’t ready, but it wasn’t a no.

  “Don’t you dare throw that in my face right now. And you didn’t propose to me, okay? You said it not even looking at me, in the truck while we were stopped at a red light. Then you changed the subject, I thought you weren’t being serious.”

  “Well I was! I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Missy. Yes, we were both fucked up last night, you more than me. Yes, you gave me a blow job in front of people, alright? You don’t want people to think you’re up for grabs, but you won’t commit to me, so I don’t know what you want. I’m sorry. I fucked up last night, but no one will remember what happened by the next party.” I open my mouth to speak, but he continues. “I want to get married, to be a dad and a husband. You already have a kid so it doesn’t matter to you what I want,” he tells me.

  “There’s more to life than being married.”

  “I know you want more, to be independent and live your life out in the world. Well, I’ve been out in that world and it ain’t that wonderful, so excuse me for wanting something as simple as a wife and kids!” he says, his voice growing louder the more he talks. “I want simple and settled, Missy, and I know you don’t-”

  “I never said that!” I shout.

  “You don’t have to! It’s written all over your face, it’s obvious Missy, and I’m fucking sick of it.” He stops and sighs, regaining his composure. “It’s perfectly fine that you get to be enraged when Tippy flirts with me, but guys hit on you and I can’t say ‘back off, she’s mine.’ You want me to proclaim I’m yours, but I propose, try to make things official, and you think I’m joking. I just don’t know if I can keep doing this shit.”

  My heart cracks, but I swallow thickly and lift my chin.

  “Bringing this up instead of talking about what happened last night is unbelievable. Fine, then you don’t need to come back home if you can’t do this shit anymore.”

  Ripping his borrowed shirt over my head, I ball it up and toss it on the ground and pull mine on, along with my skirt and grab my purse as I head for the door.

  “Don’t fucking leave,” he tells me. It’s not a demand, but I know his anger is simmering.

  “I am leaving-”

  “Well then, Miss Independent,” he says, his voice firm as he steps closer to me. “If you're kicking me out, then you gonna pay me and the guys for all the work and shit we put into that house?”

  I pause. Fuck, that’s a lot of money. I already owe him for the Gremlin and now this. But yes, fuck him and him thinking he can hold this over my head.

  “Absolutely,” I state giving him a sugary sweet fake smile.

  My answer isn’t what he was expecting and his expression morphs into one I know is because he’s madder than hell. I head down the hall with my emotions in a hurricane of all-fucked-up.

  **

  When Gwen and Joseph got home, they told me that after I left, Sven
trashed his apartment, got hammered, and called out anyone who had anything to say about me in regard to the night before so he could beat them up. I asked Gwen if she saw Shine and she told me she hadn’t, but heard them fighting that morning. I asked Joseph why no one did anything, why they let their friend be such an asshole.

  “It’s just the way he is. Listen, we’ve all tried. We’ve talked to him, beat his ass, told the girls to leave. But they never do, and he knows he can do whatever because of that. Jasper’s very…manipulative. He finds these chicks who have nothing, no one, he takes them in and takes care of them all while treating them like shit. But where they gonna go? They don’t have anyone. This one will learn, like the others that he doesn’t change and she’ll eventually work up the courage to leave him.”

  Gwen and I share a look that we both know means we’ll help Shine leave him sooner than later of necessary. But her business is hers and if she did want to be with him, I guess we’d just have to deal with it.

  Sven didn’t come back to the house that night, or that weekend. Our fight was ridiculous, but I was still wounded from what happened at the club. More at myself. Still, I trusted Sven. Sure, maybe he was drunk, but he at least knew what the fuck was going on, I had zero clue. I was angry with myself, and ashamed…embarrassed-no, mortified. And I just needed to figure out what the hell I was doing.

  I felt like two people. One was the girl I was raised to be: polite, kind, pretty, quiet, ladylike. But then there was this other part of me fighting to break out and take over. I wanted to be the way Sven made me feel, strong, free, relentless, driven, independent. A grown woman. But anytime I try that ‘freedom’ on, the lady in me, or maybe the Gaye in me, rips her down and tears her to nothing.

  Work comes Monday, and the busy work of the day keeps my mind off shit. But by the time I get to the diner that night, my thoughts have gotten me agitated and ready to go home. I wonder where Sven is, or what he’s doing, if he’s with someone else tonight.