Free Bird

by Amelia Oliver

  The guys around me are startled as they pull out their pieces and chaos breaks out. Several members of the Warrior of the Gods were tailing behind us as back-up, unbeknownst to the other brothers. They stream through the knocked down wall and begin shooting. It’s an easy takeover because no one was prepared for this, not even my brothers. I don’t even need to take my gun out it’s over so fast.

  “What the fuck?” Logan shouts as I begin to walk for the door.

  “I’m sorry, man, about fucking up the place, but when you deal with clubs that don’t give a shit about what’s real, this is what happens. You tell people what happened here today. You tell them not to fuck with The Warrior of the Gods, you got me?”

  Logan stares at me and I wonder if it’s too much, too far, if I’ve taken it too far, but then he seems to understand what I’m saying. If he’s down for this sort of business, the business where guarantees with words aren’t shit, then he’ll be on the receiving end of this before long. We step over the wounded and dead members of the club Jasper’s buddies with, women screaming in the aftermath as dust from the destruction of the building and gun smoke hang thick in the air, and we walk out.

  The fresh air hits me like a slap in the face and then something really does hit me in the face. It’s Joseph’s fist, and then he’s grabbing the neck of my leather cut and is in my face.

  “What the fuck was that?” he huffs.

  “We strengthened our reputation!”

  “You almost got us killed!”

  “We’re not dead, we’re fine,” I shrug.

  He looks at me in a way he’s certain I’ve lost my mind.

  “Don’t you ever fucking put me in that position again where you don’t tell us nothin’ before going into something like that,” he growls.

  It’s then I get it. What I did. How he’s seeing what I did as a betrayal. My eyes scan around to my other brothers, all looking at me the same way. Guilt sinks my stomach and a rock forms in my chest.

  “I’m sorry. I won’t ever do that again,” I finally say, shame thick in my throat as I look at Joseph.

  Moments later, he releases my leather cut before pulling me against him and hugging me fiercely. I vow to myself from that day forward to never put anyone I love unwillingly in danger like that again.

  29

  MISSY

  “You don’t mind if I drink before, right?” Shine asks, looking at me with raised brows.

  “Not at all,” I tell her and smile.

  Being around people drinking or partying doesn’t bother me after all these years, but I appreciate her asking anyway. I still drink occasionally, but not regularly and not to excess for the most part.

  “Good because I’m so nervous,” she states before swigging from a bottle of Jack Daniels.

  “Why? Owen loves the ever-lovin’ shit outta you. You look amazing. What’s to be nervous about?” Gwen asks, putting the finishing touches on her hair as she looks in the mirror and finger combs her long tendrils.

  We both turn to face Shine as she remains quiet, her head down as she looks at the flower bouquet in her hands.

  “Shine?” I whisper, coming up behind her and placing my hand on her shoulder.

  “It just…I feel like it’s all too perfect,” she sniffles. “I have this great man, the best I’ve ever met, who loves me and wants me. The most gorgeous, sweet baby girl; someone who depends on me for once. I just never imagined this for my life. It’s just all too good. I can’t help but feel like fate is coming for me.”

  She puts her hand up to her face and Gwen and I move in front of her, each taking a hand as Gwen fans Shine’s cheek to dry her tears.

  “You can’t think like that. I know it’s hard when everything in your life up until Owen was shit, to believe you actually deserve it…but you do,” Gwen says.

  “I know, I know,” Shine inhales deeply, fanning her face now too. “I just.” She stops, looking between Gwen and I. “I love you guys so much. You’re all the family I never had. I just want you to know that,” she says and we all hug.

  “Now come on, you can’t look like a cryin’ mess for your wedding,” I tell her, rubbing my thumb under her eye.

  We finish getting ready in Owen’s club apartment and wait for Ida to come and tell us everything’s ready for Shine to come out. There’s no wedding party, so Gwen and I head out before Shine and take our seats between Joseph and Sven and Dornan crawls over to sit on my lap, as does Joey with Gwen.

  “Damn, Mama,” Sven growls in my ear, before placing a kiss on my cheek. He shifts in his seat and I know he’s liking my silk rose-colored, floor length slip dress. Even though there’s no wedding party, Shine wanted Gwen and I to wear matching dresses, so she picked these.

  “You like?” I ask, looking over at him.

  “I’m gonna like pulling it off you right after the vows,” he tells me.

  Instantly, my pulse begins to quicken and he knows by the look on my face that I’m interested in that. Everyone around us stands as Shine walks out and we join them, picking up Dornan so he can see. I watch my sister walk down the aisle between folding chairs with a batch of sunflowers in one hand, and holding Maven in the other. The almost three-year-old looks just like Shine and I feel the backs of my eyes begin to sting as I watch them.

  “Doesn’t she look beautiful?” I whisper in Dornan’s ear and he nods.

  I inhale slowly as Owen watches them approach and I’m so happy he’s found the love I feel like he’s been chasing since I met him. Shine was made for him, and he was for her too. Seeing them together makes sense, just like Gwen and Joseph. And I do believe that we meet who we’re supposed to meet and thank the universe for connecting us all. These people are my family, and I’m grateful every day for all of them.

  After dinner Ida takes the kids outside to play, and Sven takes me into his apartment.

  He makes love to me, even though it’s hurried, we still take the time to enjoy each other’s bodies, because it’s in these moments we forget everything but us.

  Eventually I hear the music begin to play for the reception, and I want to see the first dance. I get off the bed, retrieving my dress from the chair as Sven remains lying there naked.

  “You look beautiful tonight,” he tells me.

  Slipping my dress on, I tuck hair behind my ears and hold it there as I lean down to kiss him.

  “Wanna dance with me?” I ask, putting my high-heels back on.

  “Of course, I do,” he nods, sitting up as he begins searching for his clothes.

  We dance to “I Just Wanna Stop” by Gino Vannelli and I manage to drag Sven out there a few more times that night. The kids dance around and we just all have fun. I love seeing everyone having a good time and for a few hours the realities of life don’t seem important beyond this moment. Even as Kendall does her best to act like she doesn’t know me as she hangs out with her group of friends. When Jackson 5’s “I’ll Be There” comes on and Dornan runs over and takes my hands, asking me to dance, I know I’m not as terrible of a mom as Kendall would have me believe.

  The next few weeks are busy, with Kendall trying out for the Plantain High talent show and making all of us crazy with her nerves, constantly yelling at us for being too loud as she practiced in her room. The night of the talent show, I know Kendall’s singing and although she’s a member of choir, I thought she preferred to be in the shadows of a group. But she’s singing solo and as I sit with Dornan and Sven, my foot taps with nerves for her. I have no idea if she’s scared or excited, but I know she’ll do great. A few other acts are on before her and when her names finally announced, I clutch Sven’s hand and hold my breath. The opening cords to “Memory” from the Broadway show, CATS. Instantly, my eyes burn and as her shadowy figure of my teenage daughter is bathed in a spotlight. Kendall’s beautiful, naturally beautiful, and I’m glad she didn’t lather on tons of make-up like the other girls before her did, like I did when I was in pageants. I know I used the make-up as a mask, to hide, but wit
h Kendall, I can see she’s open and unafraid. Perfect.

  Her voice is strong and pitch perfect, and when she hits some of the high notes towards the end, my skin breaks out into goosebumps as my throat clogged and my head spun. I felt like I was Gaye, Gaye watching me and feeling so much pride and amazement for my girl who wasn’t a girl anymore. Tears begin to stream down my cheeks as the love I feel for her pours from me and it’s like because it’s dark and I’m mostly surrounded by strangers, I let the emotion take over unabashedly. I feel Sven watching me, observing me, but not interrupting, letting me have this moment. When the song ends, I’m the first to stand and clap, the others around me mimicking my applause. Kendall’s eyes meet mine and for a small sliver of a second, we connect and I see she’s happy and almost shocked with my reaction, before the lights go out on the stage. I know no words I can tell her will convey that look and I know she understands how proud of her I am.

  **

  I was working with Dornan to get him potty-trained. I know it seems easy if you’ve never gone through it with a toddler, but it’s time consuming and exhausting. I’ve never cleaned up so much pee off the floor in my life. I need a break from Dornan potty-training and call Shine to see if she wants to spend the next day together. She tells me yes and also seems stressed and in need of some time with an adult. I call Gwen to invite her, but she has work at the hair salon until four and said she might come by afterward.

  I start calling over to Shine and Owen’s around eight a.m. the next morning, but no one answers. I call a few times more before deciding to just head over with Dornan. Pulling up to the house, everything seems normal, until I see the front door ajar.

  30

  MISSY

  “I…We…The,” I stumble over my words, breathing heavily. Not only is Maven crying in the background but Dornan is too.

  “Missy?” the woman asks. I close my eyes, my chest heaving with panic.

  “Sven. G-g-g-get Sven,” I stammer out.

  My eyes scan the interior of the house as I grip the phone in the kitchen with both my hands. There’s shit everywhere, Shine clearly fought for her life, or whoever took her was looking for something.

  “Missy?” Sven says, panting like he ran to get to the phone.

  “Shine,” I breathe out. “Get here…Maven…She was…alone. I-”

  “I’m coming,” he cuts me off. “I’m coming, hold tight.”

  Me and the kids are sitting in my car, which is parked in the driveway. The two have stopped crying and are listening to the radio. I’m sitting on the passenger seat with the doors open and my feet on the ground. My mind races with the thought of what might have happened, what the note on Maven’s diaper means, and where Shine is. The sound of bikes approaching helps calm the insanely frantic pace of my brain and heart, and I stand from the car. There’s at least thirty bikes, with Joseph, Owen and Sven leading the charge as they park on the lawn and street, not giving a shit if they block the road for other cars. As Sven comes toward me, Owen bolts into the house, and my eyes brim with tears. Sven’s brows furrow as he looks me over for any signs of injury, only moments before I’m crashing into his body, his big arms wrapping me in a hug.

  “What happened?”

  “I called all morning. Couldn’t…couldn’t get a hold of her,” I hiccup. “Maven was alone…note pinned to her diaper. Someone took Shine!” I swallow and look up at him, willing him to make everything right.

  Joseph heads into the house to help Owen, who’s calling for Shine and Maven.

  “Daddy!” Maven screams, moments before she and Dornan climb out of the car and run in opposite directions.

  “You’re okay, right?” Sven asks me, his voice almost panicky, as I bend down and lift Dornan into my arms. Sven holds us both and I nod, then we both watch as Owen drops to his knees and opens his arms for Maven.

  Owen starts crying. I’ve never seen him so worried and needing the connection to his daughter like he does in this moment. Maven starts to cry again and calls for mama. Owen looks up at me.

  “Did you see her this morning?” I ask.

  “Yeah, she was up with Maven at seven,” he tells me.

  “I think I started calling the house about eight. Breakfast’s still on the table,” I comment.

  The men share a look and then Owen looks at his daughter, placing his huge hands on her tiny shoulders.

  “I need you to be a big girl and go with Auntie Missy, okay?”

  “Mama,” she cries.

  “I’m gonna find Mama,” he tells her, his voice breaking as he runs his hands over her hair and kisses her forehead.

  I feel my eyes overflow with tears as Dornan buries his head into the crook of my neck. Sven’s hands come to my shoulders, as he moves in front of me, jolting me back into the current situation.

  “I need you to get word out to all the old ladies to get to the clubhouse. Bring kids, clothes for a few days, whatever we need. The club is going into lockdown until we find her.”

  “Sven, you don’t think we’re in danger-”

  “I don’t know Missy, I just need everyone to be in one place in case this is some sort of club retaliation. You understand me, yeah?” His hands cup my face hard, his eyes boring into mine, and I know he needs me to be the one to put these plans into motion.

  “Yes,” I whisper, fear written all over my face I’m sure.

  “The women will look to you for strength, don’t show fear or worry. Keep everyone positive but make sure they know this is serious- no draggin’ ass. Pull kids from school if you have to, just get everyone there.”

  I nod and inhale deeply, closing my eyes and leaning in to press my forehead into his lips.

  “Love you,” he tells me.

  “Love you.”

  From then on, I’m in management mode. After putting the kids in the car, I head to the clubhouse and call Ida, who then calls another old lady and the phone tree begins. When Maven saw her grandma, she seemed comforted from merely her presence. Old ladies and kids show up and I need to go home and pack up and get Kendall, leaving Dornan and Maven napping in one of the apartments.

  It’s not until I get home, my energy wavering and my brain feeling mushy, that the heaviness of the situation comes back to me. I’m prepared for the worst. I’m prepared for never finding Shine and never knowing, and a sick wave of gut-wrenching pain comes over me that I’ll never see Shine again. So many times she’d read her tarot cards, alluded that she knew she wouldn’t be around to raise Maven. But I keep chastising myself and willing my thoughts to believe she will come back. I know my friend would do anything she has to in order to get back to Owen and Maven.

  “Kendall?” I call out as I enter the front door.

  Journey is blaring from upstairs and I know she can’t hear me over the music. I grab Dornan’s blankie from the living room floor before going into the kitchen and grabbing the rest of the milk from the fridge. From the basement, I grab an empty milk crate to put everything in. Placing everything by the door, I jog upstairs, get pajamas and clothes for both kids, and a few toys to keep them occupied. In our room, I grab Sven a few shirts, along with a pair of jeans and two shirts for myself. I grab extra socks and underwear for us, and my pillow off the bed.

  “What’s going on?” Kendall asks, startling me in the doorway.

  “I need you to pack for a few days,” I tell her, bundling everything in my arms.

  “What? No, I have finals and a date with Peter this weekend.”

  “Kendall,” I stop her. “I’m sorry. Sven wants everyone in the clubhouse,” I state.

  “This isn’t fair,” she tells me. “I’m not going,” she insists, crossing her arms under her chest.

  I sigh and step closer to her.

  “This isn’t up for discussion,” I reply. “I know you think me and Sven ruin your life, that we don’t let you do anything, but Shine’s missing and I think someone very bad came to Plantain and took her. Sven wants us to be safe and I need you to not fight me on t
his one. Maybe everything will be over tonight and your life will be back in order. But I can’t promise you that.”

  I see her defense waiver as my words about Shine register.

  “Someone took her?” she asks.

  “I think so, the place was a mess,” I shake my head and look down as I remember. “We just have to go,” I reiterate.

  “I’ll go pack,” she says after a long sigh.

  Even though I’m in planning mode, I still can’t completely forget why we’re doing this. Visions of what I walked into earlier flash behind my eyes: the broken lamp, the smashed wooden coffee table, the fear on Maven’s face. I finally take a deep breath when Gwen and Joey get to the clubhouse. Joseph’s told her Shine is missing so thankfully I don’t need to.

  The grounds are almost in chaos with the amount of families showing up as the apartments fill and groups begin claiming space in the main area. One of the prospects, Pipes, is taking names of people who arrive so we can at least get a count and figure out if there’s anyone still missing. It keeps me busy, not worrying yet still worrying.

  In addition to three or four prospects who have stayed behind, one of the elders, Fletcher, has stayed with us. The sight of these men only reminds me that we might be in danger and I have to think of what we need to do to defend ourselves if the threat comes here.

  “Sven said you should call Chief Milton and let him know what’s going on, just to give them a heads up,” Fletcher tells me as I look over the list of names.

  “No, not yet.”

  “Sorry, ma’am, but Sven-”

  “I hear you,” I say firmly as I look up at him. “We need more than the Plantain Police Department and it’s three cops to protect us if it comes to that.”

  It’s night time when everything eventually calms down. Kids begin falling asleep, moms lay with their kids’ heads on their bodies as pillows. I just checked on Dornan, Maven, Joey and Kendall, all asleep in the bed in Sven’s apartment. I gaze at Maven. The girl looks so much like her mom, it brings tears to my eyes in this moment. I pray for little Maven; I pray that if her mama doesn’t come back, that she’ll be okay. I’ll make it okay.