He was smiling when she turned back to him. “Of course not. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I wandered out there a bit myself this morning. Early.” He padded over to the sliding glass door and opened it, motioning for her to pass.
Sofia took a deep breath as she stepped into the cool morning air. It felt wonderful, the air this close to the ocean seemingly cleaner. Fresher. She inhaled long and slow as if taking in oxygen she’d been desperate for. And truthfully she had.
She stood on the wooden deck, closed her eyes, and tipped her head to the sun. A sense of peace washed over her for the first time in years. She had no money, no apartment, no job, and a pile of bills she couldn’t pay, but for a second, the universe stood still long enough for her to breathe.
Roman set a hand on the small of her back, drawing her back to reality.
God, his hand felt good. Right. As though they’d been together for years. An old married couple stepping outside in the morning to enjoy the sun.
Except it had been years since she’d felt Roman’s touch. And she didn’t remember it affecting her so strongly.
She was older now. A woman. How long had it been since anyone’s touch filled her with so much emotion? She swallowed back the lump in her throat and forced herself not to cry.
Until last night she hadn’t allowed herself to realize she’d been on the edge of an emotional breakdown. Undoubtedly her frayed nerves had been what caused her to get into an argument with George. Not that it was difficult to argue with George. The man was a world-class dick. He knew how badly she needed her job, and he took every opportunity to harass her and throw it in her face.
And now it was over. She never had to see him again.
She was, however, out of a job. It was the only job she could find in the area without a degree or experience. With it she barely kept her chin above water.
Or maybe that was a lie. After all, she hadn’t paid her rent in months. She was far enough behind on her utilities that they were in danger of being shut off. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d purchased anything for herself that wasn’t absolutely mandatory. And human contact was nonexistent.
She took a sudden step forward, needing to break away from the feel of Roman’s hand warming her back through the T-shirt. Moving quickly, she jogged down the three steps off the deck to slide her bare feet into the sand.
Heaven.
It shocked her to realize she hadn’t come to the beach in years. She hadn’t taken the time to press her toes into the sand, stare at the waves, feel the breeze, soak in the sun, or inhale the scent of ocean. Those were luxuries she couldn’t afford.
But this morning, for a few minutes, she wanted this. This pause in life Roman had inadvertently given her. This gorgeous man she felt looming one pace behind her. Could he sense her need to be alone with the universe for a moment?
With a long inhale of the salty scent of ocean, she wandered forward. She continued to breathe deeply as if she hadn’t had enough oxygen in months and could somehow fill her lungs with a restorative supply that would have to last her another long stretch of time.
Because the truth was she couldn’t stand here in the sand for more than a few minutes, ignoring the reality that was her life.
“Come on. Let’s walk.” Roman’s gentle voice wafted into her consciousness. Not unwelcome. He wrapped his fingers around her elbow and gave a slight tug.
She glanced up, squinting into the sunlight. One side of his mouth tipped up in a smile. His eyes twinkled. “You need some vitamin D. The apartment can wait a few minutes. Let’s stick our toes in the water.”
She nodded, her emotions so close to the surface she couldn’t speak. And then she let him lead her to the edge of the water.
Several other people meandered up and down the beach. A group of children squealed as they ran in and out of the waves.
Roman slid his hand down her forearm. He threaded his fingers with hers. A current ran up her arm and through her body. The sun’s rays warmed her. The morning air was cool, but Sofia wasn’t cold any longer. She was underweight and often shivered, but not with Roman touching her.
She should yank her hand free, get away from this man who would break her heart again, and run fast back to the real world before she completely lost her mind.
Roman interrupted her resolve again to tug her forward. He stepped into the few inches of water lapping at his feet and turned his body to face her. He clasped her other hand and pulled gently. “It’s chilly, but it feels good.”
She stared at his feet. Sexy damn feet she’d never seen naked before. His jeans hung in the water, but he didn’t seem to care as the dark line of moisture crawled up the denim.
Suddenly he released her hands and crouched before her. He rolled up the hems of her jeans almost to her knees. And then he stood. “There.” Once again, he took her hands and led her forward.
So few words between them. And yet, so many emotions.
Two small steps was all it took for her toes to hit the edge of the water and sink into the sand as the wave retreated.
Roman stepped closer until inches separated them.
She lifted her gaze from their feet to his abs. Rock hard.
He let go of her hands and smoothed his palms up her arms until he could pull her against him, closing the remaining gap between fantasy and reality.
She sighed against his chest, inhaling his scent that now overshadowed the ocean water.
She was in a different dimension. A parallel universe.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered into her hair, threading his fingers into the locks at the base of her head.
He couldn’t know that. In fact, he was so wrong. It was not going to be remotely okay. Not even close. Unfortunately, it was going to be worse. If she turned and walked away from him, raced to the street, jumped into a stranger’s car, and let someone, anyone, drive her back to her real life, she’d never be okay again.
In just hours, Roman had marked her again. Deeply. With so few words and nothing but his presence. The pain was already unbearable.
Her chest pounded against his as though syncing their rhythms. Her breasts felt heavy, tight, swollen. His pecs were hard beneath her flesh. Her nipples pebbled. An ache, a need really, grew in her stomach.
The warning signs were all there. The danger to her heart was intense. And still she let him hold her.
Finally, he pulled back, cupped her face, and tipped her head to meet her gaze. “We should get going.”
She nodded and let him lead her back to the house. In silence she put her shoes on while he did the same. Heedless of his damp jeans, he led her out the front door.
After locking the house up like a fortress, they were once again inside his rental car.
Roman started the engine, the sound breaking the spell that had held her captive all morning.
She buckled her seatbelt and sat straighter.
Before driving away, he turned to her. He reached out a hand and ran it through a section of curls that hung loosely by her face. “Your hair looks healthier this morning. I always did like it down.”
She blinked. “You did?”
“Yeah.”
“You never said a word to me about my hair.”
“There are a lot of things I never said to you fifteen years ago. That’s just one.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
“Because you thought I was too young for you? Because you were on a mission? Because you never intended to stay with me?” Those last two words should have stayed inside her head. But it was too late.
“Mostly. You were too young, and you still are. That hasn’t changed.”
Sofia twisted in her seat and leaned toward him. “That’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. It was ludicrous fifteen years ago, and completely preposterous now. I’m fucking thirty-five years old. And besides, who said I was interested? It was a long time ago. I’ve moved on,” she lied.
“Have you?” He tipped
her chin up and forced her to meet his gaze. “Have you, Sofia? Because I haven’t. And I don’t think you have either. When I heard your voice last night from my booth in that diner, I nearly came in my pants.”
She flinched.
He held her chin steady. “That’s the effect you had on me then, and nothing has changed. I’m not proud of how I treated you, and I still can’t offer you anything more now than I could then, but I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t attracted to you. Nor that I’m not today.”
“What are you saying?”
He sighed. “I don’t know.” He let go of her chin to stroke a finger down her cheek and then her neck.
She leaned into his touch, though she wished she had the strength to slap his hand away. He was going to hurt her. Again. She knew it with every fiber of her being. The damage was already done. Even if she got out of the car and let him drive away from her right that second, she would be devastated.
But it wasn’t going to be that simple. No. He was going to burrow into her heart again and then leave her with a hole so large it would never be repaired.
“I’m going to help you because it’s who I am. I’m one of the good guys. I may come off as an asshole, but I’m not. Not deep inside. If things were different. If we were closer in age and I didn’t work for Interpol, I would never let you go.
“But those two facts will never change. So, you’re going to have to let me help you get back on your feet and figure things out to make your life better.”
“And then I’m going to have to let you walk away. Again.”
“This time I’ll say goodbye. I swear.”
Does he think that will make it better? She twisted in the seat to stare out the window, breaking contact with his warm finger. “Don’t bother.”
Roman pulled out of the driveway and drove toward her apartment without commenting on her jibe. When they arrived, he jumped out and raced around to let her out too.
She took his offered hand, but as soon as she was out of the car, she jerked her fingers free. No way could she allow herself to touch him. It was too much. It burned through her soul. Every time his skin met hers, he left a mark on her. She wouldn’t be able to wash it off with soap and water. It would be permanent. The fewer marks, the better. Right?
Sofia led him to her landlord’s apartment and let him knock on the door. This time it opened. When the man saw Sofia, he crossed his arms and spread his legs wider to snarl. His stance did nothing to make him intimidating. The guy was a jerk. And smarmy.
He wore a white wife-beater shirt and dirty jeans. His feet were bare. His hair was too long and looked like it hadn’t been combed in a month. His apartment smelled like stale beer and cigars. It leaked out into the hallway.
Sofia shuddered.
JP Sterling looked from Sofia to Roman. “She ain’t paid her rent in four months. If she dragged your ass over here thinking to intimidate me with your size, it won’t work. I need four months’ rent, and payment for changing the locks, and then she can have a set of keys. If she don’t have the cash, I’ll empty her apartment and give her stuff to Goodwill in five days. Simple as that.”
“How much does she owe you? Perhaps we could strike a deal. You seem like a reasonable man. How about I give you two months’ rent, and you let us move her stuff out right now.”
JP frowned. “Why the hell would I agree to that? Bitch owes me four months’.”
“Because if you don’t take my offer, you get nothing, and you have to go to the trouble of clearing out her stuff. If you take two months’ and give us a few hours to clear it out, it’ll save you the trouble and provide at least part of the money.”
JP narrowed his gaze, contemplating.
Roman continued. “Sofia didn’t intentionally leave you high and dry. She’s taking care of her sick mother. Did you know that? She’s doing the best she can. Has she ever given you any trouble in all the time she’s lived here?”
“No. ’Cept she owes me money.”
“I hear you. And I know you’re pissed, but she would’ve paid you if she could. How about it?” Roman reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of money that made Sofia gasp. Where did he get all that cash?
He didn’t even count it. He simply held out the stack of hundreds toward JP. “This should be enough for you to see it in your heart to let us clear her belonging out.”
JP snatched the pile of money, stuffed it in his pocket, and reached for a set of keys on a pegboard next to the door. “Bring these back when you’re done. And I don’t want any trouble.”
“You have my word.”
Sofia couldn’t believe what just happened. She trailed along behind Roman to the stairs, unable to speak. It wasn’t until they were upstairs and he had her apartment open that she finally said something. “You gave him money.”
“Yep.”
“How did you know how much to give him?”
“I looked up the rent on this building earlier this morning. I had a plan.” He winked as he ushered her inside.
“I can’t believe you gave him money.” She was stunned, but suddenly stopped in her tracks as he shut the door. She spun around. “Roman, I can’t pay you back.”
“Didn’t ask you to.” He didn’t meet her gaze. Instead he wandered inside, glancing around. “How much of this do you really need to keep? Because I wasn’t completely honest with your landlord. I don’t intend to actually clear the place out. I just wanted you to be able to retrieve what meant something to you and get out of here.”
“And go where? Roman, I don’t have a place to live. I don’t have anything. I could grab what I need with two hands.” She turned in a circle. “Look at this place, Roman. I don’t have belongings.” Her voice rose as she freaked out.
He must have known that though, because he grabbed her shoulders and tipped her chin up to meet his gaze again. “Calm down. Deep breaths. You’ll stay with me. I’m here for at least a month. That buys you time to figure things out. Whatever means something to you goes. Whatever is useless stays. Pictures? Documents? Clothes?”
She couldn’t wrap her head around his offer. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I can. Because you need me. Because no one has taken care of you in longer than I can contemplate. You need a friend. I showed up at just the right time.” He shrugged. “Call it fate. But I’m here. I have a house big enough for both of us for the foreseeable future. And you need a place to stay.”
How could she say no?
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Now, let’s get to work. I’d rather not stay here long enough to give that landlord of yours enough time to reconsider my offer and come banging on the door wanting more money. This place is a shithole, and he’s charging way too much rent to his tenants.”
She couldn’t argue that point. “I’ll grab my suitcase.”
“Good girl.”
Chapter 6
Roman carried the last of Sofia’s meager possessions into Tex’s house and shut the door behind him. He brought her clothes to the spare bedroom and set her important papers on the kitchen table.
He knew she was exhausted, and although he would love to dig into the information about her mother’s nursing home and solve that problem for her as soon as possible, there was no rush. Her mother wasn’t going anywhere, and any issues with paying that bill monthly couldn’t be solved overnight.
Sofia looked beaten. Her shoulders slumped, and with each passing moment, it seemed she grew closer to crying.
He didn’t mind a woman crying, but he hated to see her hurting.
He followed her to the guest room where she was sorting through the tattered pieces of her clothing, took the shirt out of her hands, dropped it onto the bed, and spun her around. “Leave it for now. Come.”
She blew out a breath and nodded. She let him lead her farther down the hall to the bedroom he was using. She also let him guide her to the bed and set her on the edge.
He removed her shoes,
pulled back the covers, and pressed her shoulder until she lay on her side tucked into his bed.
“Why?” she asked, curling into a ball.
“Because your room is a mess with all that stuff, and you’re exhausted. You need a nap. And this room is currently more peaceful. Sleep.” He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, though he had no idea why he did so. And he probably shouldn’t have.
Sofia was quick. She grabbed his arm with her free hand and turned her face toward his mouth until their lips met.
For a moment he was too stunned to react, but it gave her enough time to lick the seam of his lips, driving him crazy with lust. Before he could stop himself, he grasped both her shoulders, flattened her to the bed, and tipped his head to deepen the kiss.
Fireworks.
Damn she was sweet. Her usual tentative self fled the room as she slid her tongue into his mouth and dueled with his.
Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he knew this was a horrible idea. He knew he should stop. Pull back. Run. Escape. Anything. But he was powerless to release the contact with her soft lips. Tasting. Teasing. Learning.
Consumed with the need to finally kiss her after all these years of wondering what could have been, he was imprisoned by her kiss. He never wanted to stop. Ending it would mean facing reality. And that was the last thing he wanted to do. Who needed the real world anyway? It was highly overrated.
Sofia’s hands grasped his waist and hauled him closer. She flattened her palms on his abs, spread her fingers, and smoothed them up to his chest. The feel of her touching him was beyond words.
He wanted more.
He wanted everything from her.
He needed to put a stop to this.
Groaning, he broke the kiss and pushed himself to sitting next to her on the bed. He panted.
She was gasping for air too. Her hands had fallen to his waist again.
“Sofia…”
“Don’t say it,” she admonished. “I swear to God, Roman, if you insinuate I’m too young, or you’re too undercover, or the world was fucking not made for the two of us, I’ll never forgive you. Give me this one damn moment. Please.”
Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Saving Sofia (Kindle Worlds Novella) (The Underground Book 7) Page 4
