He nodded. She was right. There was no sense in denying the chemistry. It was explosive. He wanted more. Never in his life had he felt that level of intensity with a woman.
If he was honest with himself, the summer he spent with Sofia had ruined him for any other woman he’d met since then. Not that he’d been available for anything serious in all those years anyway. But even if he had been, no one ever measured up to Sofia.
His memory was of a sweet carefree woman, barely an adult. Innocent. Fun. Happy. Laughing.
All that was gone now. But it was also still there, buried beneath the surface. And he wanted to bring that back out of her if it was the last thing he did. Even if it killed him to walk away this time. He would do so, knowing he’d brought her back to this world and made her smile.
“Stop thinking so hard,” she said. “I can see your mind working. Coming up with a thousand reasons why we shouldn’t have kissed. Don’t list them. It was beautiful. And I want to hold it close to my heart. Don’t ruin it with stupid clichés.”
“I was actually going to suggest we do it again.” Did he really say that? Could he head down this path and come out the other end intact? Could she?
He would make sure she did. But his own heart? He knew it would be broken. It was a price he was suddenly willing to pay.
Her mouth opened as if to protest whatever he said. And then she closed it and licked her lips. “Do it. Do it now before you change your mind.”
Roman twisted his body the other direction so he could lie next to her. He lined their bodies up, leaned over her, cupped her face, and met her lips again.
Yes.
The same reaction.
Bottle rockets.
Explosives.
He heard nothing but the sound of his heart beating. The rest of the world ceased to exist. This kiss was deeper. Less tentative. For both of them. More demanding.
And he wanted more.
He thumbed her neck, feeling the beat of her pulse. And then he eased his hand lower to flatten it on her chest above her breasts. The feel of her skin against his fingertips made his cock hard. Not that it had been anything but hard from the moment he first heard her voice last night.
Sofia reached her small hand around his waist and then lowered it to cup his ass.
Jesus.
So hot.
He tightened his butt cheek under her touch.
She gripped harder, digging her fingers into his muscle.
When he needed more, he nibbled a path away from her lips to trail down her neck and into the V of her T-shirt.
Her skin was so soft. Smooth pale skin. He remembered it being darker that summer. Maybe in his imagination. Or maybe she’d gotten more sun that year.
He needed more.
In a swift move, he was on his knees, straddling her waist, his hands on the hem of her shirt. “Tell me to stop.”
She shook her head. “God, Roman. Please. I need you. I need this.” She tipped her head back, exposing more of her neck.
That pushed him too far. He tugged her T-shirt over her head, forcing her arms up above her hair to tangle in the cotton, fighting to get released.
Roman left the shirt around her wrists and grabbed her hands with both of his, leaning over her. “Stop.”
She squirmed another moment and then met his gaze. Hers was wild with arousal. Smoldering. Heady.
He wanted her like he’d never wanted another woman. And she felt the same.
“Stop wiggling. Let me explore. I need to see you. I need you to stay still, or I’m going to come in my jeans.”
He somehow got through to her, and she nodded. Her gaze was unreadable however, as though she weren’t completely seeing him. Was she in her head?
Good. He wanted her to experience the same thing he was. Euphoria. At his hands. Something she would never forget.
But he needed to be sure they were on the same page first. He released her wrists and straightened his body above hers. He brushed a soft ringlet of her curls off her face. “Sofia, are you sure?”
“God, Roman. Yes. Never been more sure of anything. I’ve dreamed of having sex with you for fifteen years. Now is good.”
He chuckled. “Now is good?”
“Yep.”
“Tomorrow might be better.”
“Nope.” She squirmed again, bucking her hips between his legs. She fisted her hands in the T-shirt, struggling to free them.
“Leave your hands there. Stop moving.”
She swallowed and met his gaze. “Why? I’m burning up. I want you to fuck me. Now. I want to feel your hard muscles under my fingertips.”
“I’ll give you the first, but you’re going to have to keep your arms above your head this time. If you touch me, I’ll explode.”
She nodded, relaxing marginally into the mattress. “Please,” she begged.
Roman eased his palms up her bare stomach to cup her breasts. They were smaller than he remembered. Still a handful, but not as full and lush.
She was fucking gorgeous even today. If he thought this skinnier version of her was her best self, he would never give it another thought. But he knew she hadn’t eaten enough in months.
He thumbed her nipples through the lace of her white bra and stared down at the innocent color, knowing it was the perfect choice. Her skin was beautiful against the shimmering white satin. Pure.
It wasn’t that he thought she was a virgin. He knew better. But he intended to show her another side of sex this afternoon.
Judging by her reactions, he was confident he would put all previous lovers to shame. No way in hell had she ever been this aroused. And he also doubted she’d been dominated.
She shuddered each time he gave her a subtle command. His cock grew stiffer too.
It was time to take his cues from her, tell her what he wanted, and watch her unfold like a birthday gift.
He molded his hands to her breasts for another few seconds, loving the feel of them in his palms. But even more, he liked the way she arched her chest into his touch and moaned.
Yeah. She might not have experienced what he was about to teach her, but she was going to enjoy it.
He released her breasts to reach over her head and lift her hands higher until they touched the slats on the headboard.
Leave it to Tex to have a missionary-style bed with slats at the head and the foot. Why wasn’t Roman surprised?
Sofia wrapped her fingers around the rungs and calmed. Her breathing was erratic, but her body stopped wiggling.
Roman danced his fingers down her arms from her wrists to her biceps and then he skimmed her shoulders and lower to tease the top edge of her bra.
She moaned.
“Can you keep your hands there for me?” he asked casually.
“I’ll try.” Her voice was hardly audible.
He lifted his gaze from her chest to her eyes. “You can do better. I know you can.”
That sweet tongue of hers slipped out to moisten her lips again. “Why?”
He set his hands on either side of her head and lowered his face closer to hers. “Because I asked you to. Because you want to please me. Because I’m going to take everything you ever thought you knew about sex and destroy it in one hour.”
He watched her throat work as she swallowed and nodded slightly.
He lifted one hand to stroke a finger gently over every inch of her face. “You’re so gorgeous. Never doubt for a second that I did a double take the first time I spotted you in the library. And the way you came over to me like a timid mouse to see if I needed any assistance finding a book.” He hadn’t come to the library to read. He hadn’t even noticed the books.
“You said you didn’t read,” she whispered.
“Yeah. You somehow managed to teach me the value of reading that summer in spite of myself.”
“You needed educating,” she teased.
“Apparently.” He grinned. “Now let me educate you.”
“How?”
“Let me take you
someplace new.”
“You’re speaking figuratively.”
“I am.”
“Will you hurt me?”
“Never. Not one hair on your delectable body.”
“I think I want you to take me there.”
“Oh, I know you do. You’re so wet for me right now, you have your thighs smashed together to try and keep from leaking.”
Her cheeks turned red.
He smiled. “It won’t work. I’m going to make you come so hard you’ll lose your vision.”
“Okay.”
God, she was cute. She had no idea. And yet she so readily consented, just as he knew she would fifteen years ago if he had asked. But he had more willpower that summer. And rightfully so. It wouldn’t have been fair to take her down this path at her age with her lack of experience and knowing he couldn’t stay with her.
Today was only marginally different. She was older. He convinced himself she deserved to feel what it was like to come undone for someone. Would he make it difficult if not impossible to find another man she could spend her life with? Yes. Undeniably yes.
But he found he was suddenly a greedy bastard who wanted her more than he had the ability to turn her down.
“You’re going to leave me after you take me, and I’ll never recover,” she stated matter-of-factly.
“Yes.” There was no sense sugarcoating it.
“I don’t care. If you don’t do it, I’ll always wonder what if?”
“I know.” He leaned forward and gently kissed her lips. “I know, baby. I know. That’s why I’m going to take you. You’ll be mine. For as long as I’m here, you’ll be mine. And when I leave, it’ll hurt. But I’ll do my best to help you get through it.”
“No one will be able to replace you.”
“Someone will,” he lied.
She didn’t believe him. He read it in her eyes. But she also didn’t care. She was willing to take the risk. That was half the reason he wanted her so badly, and he was just selfish enough to do it.
It had been a long time since he’d been with a woman like this. With the intent to claim her body so thoroughly that she was figuratively branded by him in a way that created an unbreakable bond.
It was rare to find a woman who could handle his level of dominance. Crave it. Even before she had any idea what he was offering, promising, demanding.
Sofia was ready. Willing. Eager. Her heart pounded so hard he could feel it, almost see it. Her pupils were dilated. Her mouth dry. Her pussy wet. He didn’t need to touch her to know it was true.
“Take me, Roman,” she muttered.
He lurched forward, wrapped his palms around her wrists again, and sealed her lips with his.
She opened to him, letting him fully in. She stopped fighting to get the upper hand, but let him circle her tongue, drag it into his mouth, release it with a pop.
She moaned, the sound musical and arousing.
Her eyes rolled back when he released her lips. Her mouth was wet, and she did nothing to lick away his kiss.
Yeah, she was his.
“These hands don’t move,” he restated as he released them again.
She didn’t respond verbally, but the way her body arched told him his words did their job.
He watched her face for several seconds, telling himself he needed to control the beast. Slow down, Roman. Deep breaths. You’ll take her there, but don’t rush. This is not a race.
He wanted to see her breasts first, so he popped the front clasp on her bra, grateful to the saleslady for that selection.
Her breasts popped free, swollen, heavy. Her nipples were a rosy pink that made him stifle a groan. The tips were small, as he’d envisioned them. Some day he would suckle them long enough to make them tender and large, but not today. Today he would give them exactly what they needed to make her squirm, but he had too many parts of her body to explore to give them the full attention they deserved.
Sofia moaned as he tapped the tips, watching them expand slightly from that minor contact.
He lifted his gaze to find her gripping the rungs of the headboard so hard her knuckles were white.
Good.
“Do you have any idea how sexy you are?” he breathed. He hadn’t meant to say those words out loud, but they’d escaped on their own.
Sofia lifted her knees until her thighs hit his butt.
“Legs straight, Sofia. Flatten them.”
She moaned again as she did what he asked.
God. Did her nipples get harder?
Fuck me. She’s so submissive. Did she even know it?
Does she even realize it now?
It didn’t matter. What mattered was learning to read her cues and taking her to the cliff until she tumbled over it.
“How many men have been inside you, Sofia?” He knew the question would unnerve her. That was the point. He wanted to know what he was up against before he went any further. And more importantly, he wanted her to feel the slight discomfort of opening up to him.
“Two,” she admitted shyly, her lips curling into her mouth, her eyes closing.
Fuck. Two?
He suspected she’d had little experience, but two? She was thirty-five years old. His cock pressed against his jeans so hard it hurt.
“When?” he demanded.
She hesitated.
“When, Sofia?”
“A long time ago. I haven’t had the time or energy for men.”
“Five years? Twenty?”
“After you left. In college. Before my mom was sick and my dad died.”
He stared at her in disbelief, trying not to react. “You were a virgin when I was here.”
“Yes.”
Fuck. He’d suspected, but hearing it out loud…
Part of him wanted to stop immediately and not make her life more miserable by tempting her with something he could only provide for weeks. Anything longer wasn’t possible. He might be able to lengthen his stay to a few months, but eventually his boss would call with an assignment, and he’d have to leave her behind with no way to contact him. Ever.
That was his job. It was what he signed up for years ago. He’d traded a normal life for one that made the world a better place to live. And he refused to regret that decision. He was good at his job. Some assignments took longer than he would like, but he always got the bad guy.
Sofia lifted her hips into his groin. “Your turn to stop overthinking. If you think you’re somehow going to ruin me by fucking me, you’re wrong. You ruined me fifteen years ago without ever kissing me. I knew. Maybe I didn’t fully understand. Maybe I still don’t. But deep inside, I knew then, and I know now too. Withholding the ending doesn’t change anything. It just leaves me frustrated. Show me, Roman. Show me now.”
Was she right? Could she already sense what he was all about without him taking her?
He searched her eyes and found she was telling the truth. She was his. She’d always been his. He just hadn’t faced it.
Now was his second chance. Squandering it would haunt him for the rest of his life.
Suddenly needing his bare skin against hers, he whipped off his shirt and then swung his leg over her body to wiggle out of his jeans, taking his underwear with them.
Sofia twisted her head to the side to watch him as he extracted a condom from the pocket of his jeans and set it beside her.
She giggled softly. “You always carry one of those around?”
“Yep. Always.” He swung back around to straddle her legs again and work the button and zipper on her jeans.
She gasped, and he glanced up to find her staring at his cock.
And then he smirked. Ignoring her reaction, he tugged her jeans down her body and tossed them aside. Without any warning, he grabbed her knees, spread them apart, and held them open while he lowered his body between her legs until his face hovered over her pussy.
He inhaled her scent for the first time and moaned. He would never forget this moment. He’d intentionally left her panties on.
Unveiling a woman’s sex for the first time was smoking hot. For both him and her. Doing it slowly, taking it in stages, could drive a woman mad with arousal.
He was aiming for that.
The first thing he did was tuck his thumbs under the edges of her panties to draw the elastic away from her tender skin.
She arched her hips off the bed.
He stopped moving. “Ass on the bed, baby. Let me explore.”
“Roman…”
“Ass. On. The. Bed.”
She lowered her butt, moaning as she did so.
Oh yeah. She grew hornier every time he commanded her.
Her thighs shook beneath his palms. “Roman…”
God, he loved the sound of his name coming from her lips. Especially since it was his given name. No woman besides Sofia had ever known his name or called him by it. He had no idea why he’d shared it with her in the first place. She didn’t know his last name. But for some reason even fifteen years ago he’d wanted her to call him Roman. It was real. Something special.
And it still was.
When he lifted the sides of her panties away from her pussy again, they were wet. He released them with a slight snap and buried his nose in the slit of her outer lips, inhaling her scent and then nuzzling her in an upward motion until he could kiss her clit through the satin.
She inhaled sharply.
He sucked her clit into his mouth through the panties and flicked his tongue over the bud.
She writhed against him.
He hooked his finger over the top edge of lace and tugged the elastic down far enough to expose her clit. He was surprised to find her brown curls groomed to a slender triangle. Impressive for someone who hadn’t had sex in a number of years. Had she done it this morning? He doubted it.
He fingered the triangle of hair and then pressed on the hood of her clit to pull it back. The swollen pink bud was wet with her arousal.
She tried to squirm, but he held her steadier this time, pressing into her thighs with both forearms.
When he flicked his tongue ever the sexy little tip, she screamed.
Jesus, she was responsive. No woman had ever been this responsive with him. Had he known she would be? Even fifteen years ago?
If he was honest with himself, yes. He had suspected. That was one of the main reasons he hadn’t permitted himself to touch her—aside from her age. He’d known she would drive him wild with her reactions, making it that much harder to leave her.
Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Saving Sofia (Kindle Worlds Novella) (The Underground Book 7) Page 5
