Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies

by Trice Hickman

  Ted had seen, heard, and experienced a great deal in his fifty-two years on earth, and he didn’t think there was anything or anyone that could rattle him. But the last few weeks had proven how wrong he had been. Death had brought about a new life, and it was one that he wasn’t sure he wanted to start living.

  “I know this is a lot for you to take in all at once,” Ms. Hattie said, giving Ted a pat on his shoulder as she cleared the breakfast table of their dishes. She sighed, shaking her head. “Honestly, it’s a blessing and a curse that Carol Lynn finally told you the truth.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The truth always cleanses the soul,” she said. “But now that you know it, you’ve got to decide what you want to do with it. Seems to me that’s a heavy burden to bear. On the one hand, you can go on living your happy life with that beautiful wife and adorable little girl of yours, just the way it is now. Or you can kick over the apple cart and see how your lives will change. Being black ain’t for everybody,” she said, releasing a sad chuckle.

  Ted stared at her, rubbing the stubble under his chin that had started to form.

  Ms. Hattie continued. “Your parents lived their lives wrapped up in their lie for so long and that’s why Carol Lynn was able to take her secret to her grave. For whatever reason, she decided to tell you and leave you with the knowledge of something she wasn’t strong enough to face herself,” she said, taking a deep breath. She raised her head, looking up at the ceiling. “Sometimes living in the truth can feel just like dying.”

  Ted looked at Ms. Hattie as though she had been reading his mind. He didn’t want to resent his own parents, especially not his mother. But the more he learned about her past, what she’d done, and how his father had helped her hide it, the more he grew to disdain the fraudulent life they had both led and the burden it now placed upon his shoulders. He thought their actions and decisions had been selfish and reckless. “Why did my mother do it?” Ted asked in genuine frustration.

  Ms. Hattie sat back down in her chair and thought for a few minutes before she attempted an answer. “I guess she thought it was a matter of survival. Son, I knew your mother, and believe me, it ate her up inside, always having to lie and keep things bottled up. Imagine what it was like for her ... living every day in fear that what she did might catch up with her. Imagine what it must’ve been like for her, hiding who she really was.”

  Ted wanted to, but he felt no sympathy. “It was a life she willingly chose ... and my father, too,” he said, looking into Ms. Hattie’s wise old eyes.

  She nodded her head but didn’t say a word, because what he had said was true, and it was the very thing she’d often thought herself.

  After spending the entire morning with Ms. Hattie, Ted finally left. He agreed to stay in touch and promised to let her know as soon as he came to grips with telling his family about Carolyn’s secret.

  Before Ted closed Ms. Hattie’s door, he handed her the envelope that Abe Brookstein had entrusted in his personal care before he left Boston. “You deserve much more. Friendship is invaluable,” he said, giving Ms. Hattie a warm hug and a kiss on her cheek. He truly meant it and didn’t think the one-million-dollar check he’d just placed in her hand was nearly enough to repay over seven decades of loyalty.

  As Ted drove away from Ms. Hattie’s house, he thought about all the things she had told him. He’d found out more about his parents in the span of a few hours than he had known his entire life.

  Later that afternoon he returned to his hotel. He was mentally weary from the thoughts and guilt that plagued his mind. Sitting at the small desk in his room, he stared at his computer screen, as if the work at hand would take care of itself. Other than the uncertain weeks following Alexandria’s birth, this was the first time in Ted’s life that he couldn’t bring himself to focus on the important tasks before him. There were urgent ViaTech matters that required his attention, but he knew they would have to wait until he could clear his thoughts of the clutter floating around inside his head.

  His mind raced with memories that until now had never really meant anything to him. But with his newfound knowledge, he finally understood the meaning behind some of the things his mother and father had said and done when he was growing up. Now it made sense to him why she had always been so secretive about her past, why she had never socialized outside of a very small and select group of friends, and why his father was so protective of her.

  He remembered the warning his mother had given him before he married his first wife. “Theodore, you really don’t know a lot about this girl, or her family, for that matter. You never know someone until you look closely into their background. Trust me on this. I know what I’m talking about,” she’d said.

  Carolyn’s eerie foreboding had sent a chill down his spine even back then. And now he knew exactly what she meant. He shook his head, wondering how she and his father could have gone through life masquerading as people they were not.

  Ted moved his laptop to the side and opened the large envelope that Ms. Hattie had given him. It contained several old photos and handwritten letters, all dated long before he was born. It all seemed like an incredibly crazy dream, but when he looked at the black-and-white pictures and the faded papers, he knew it was real.

  His mind rushed back to the past again, remembering how Carolyn used to tell him and his siblings that they were not to discuss family business with anyone outside their immediate circle.

  Carolyn had instilled a sense of privacy in each of her children, but especially in Ted. With the exception of Victoria, and on occasion his friend Barry,Ted rarely, if ever, let people know his private thoughts or personal life. Marrying Victoria had opened up a new world for him, allowing him to trust another person without reservation. She was free with her emotions and giving with her love. He knew that at times his need for privacy frustrated her, because she wanted him to share more, but he was operating from a learned behavior, still trying to navigate his new course.

  His mother had taught him at an early age that information was power, and that as long as he kept information to himself, no one could use anything against him. Confidentiality had been her brand. Reputation and honor had been his father’s mantra. Ted wanted to laugh at his parents’ teachings, knowing they had all been a farce to cover up the truth.

  At that moment he needed clarity and peace, and he longed for the one person who could give him both. He reached for his cell and dialed Victoria.

  “Hello,” she said, practically yawning into the phone.

  “V, you sound exhausted. Did you rest at all last night?”

  “Um ... a little.”

  “I bet you didn’t leave your office until after midnight, did you?” Ted knew that Victoria could spend hours on end at Divine Occasions. He’d voiced his concerns about her safety more than once. Even though her office was in a safe area, he didn’t like the idea of her being out in the business park all alone at night.

  She hesitated in her response, and that told him that he was right. “V, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be out there late at night.”

  “Sometimes that’s when I can get the most work done, when it’s late and it’s quiet.”

  “What are your plans for the day?”

  “I’m going to the grocery store, the cleaners, and then a few shops ... the usual routine. But right now I’m just lounging around, trying to catch up on some sleep. I’m actually still in bed.”

  Ted knew it was highly unusual for his super-energetic wife to be in the house on a Saturday afternoon, let alone in bed. This had to mean that she’d reached her limit. He wished he could be there for her, because he knew his mother’s death had caused a deluge of stress for her as well. She’d been restless and worried, losing sleep because she was concerned about his mental state, as well as that of their daughter. And he knew she was still obsessing about the explanation he’d given her about his mother’s secret, not fully convinced that he was telling the truth.

  Ted d
idn’t want Victoria to doubt him. He knew she was a smart woman and could see when something wasn’t right, especially in matters affecting her family. And he knew she wasn’t going to let it rest until she eventually got to the bottom of things.

  “How’re you doing?” she asked, sounding a little more awake.

  “I’m fine. Just sitting here in the hotel, going over some reports.”

  “Have you and Lilly gotten everything taken care of?”

  Ted didn’t miss a beat. “Um, yeah, pretty much.”

  “She must really be glad you’re there. It helps when you don’t have to go through difficult times alone.”

  Again, he played his role on cue. “Yes, we’ve gotten a lot of Mother’s financial matters straightened out. Lilly’s much more comfortable with things now.”

  “Hey, speaking of your sister, are you going to see her later this evening?”

  His next answer was one that he could be completely honest about. “I hadn’t planned to.... Why?”

  “I never properly thanked her for getting Alexandria that beautiful baby doll when we were there, and I was hoping you could tell her. But on second thought, I should probably just call her myself. That would be the more hospitable thing to do.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about it,” Ted replied in a smooth, even voice. “You need to get some rest. I’ll relay the message to Lilly this evening.”

  “You sure?”

  “Absolutely,” he insisted, not wanting to run the risk that Victoria might call his sister and find out that he’d left Boston yesterday.

  “Thanks. That’s one less thing I have to do.”

  For once, Ted was grateful that his wife was too exhausted to take charge of things. He quickly ended their call before she could ask more questions that would force him to tell more lies.

  Ted hated deceiving Victoria, but for now it was what he felt he had to do. He walked over to his attaché and pulled out the thick manila envelope that held secrets to a hidden past. He opened it and placed the pictures and letters that Ms. Hattie had been kind enough to give him inside. He knew he had to find a safer resting place for the information. He shook his head, thinking about how supremely ironic the situation had become, because despite his anger at what his parents had done, one of the first things he planned to do when he returned home was store the envelope in a safe-deposit box.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Getting Rid of Her Evidence ...

  Victoria glanced at the clock on her nightstand as she rolled over in her big, empty bed. She couldn’t believe it was two o’clock in the afternoon. After she had arrived home in the wee hours of the morning, she had set the alarm clock so she could wake up a few hours later, in time to call her mother and talk to Alexandria. She wanted to check in and see how things were going before they started their day of Saturday errands. Her parents still rose at the crack of dawn, just like her child, so she knew if she wanted to speak to them, she’d have to force herself from her sleep.

  After waking briefly and hearing that all was well with her daughter,Victoria had fallen back into a deep sleep and hadn’t stirred again until Ted’s call pulled her from her slumber. Her stomach twisted and turned during their conversation, because it was the first time in their relationship that she had been blatantly untruthful with him. He was going through so much, and a deceitful wife was the last thing he needed to add to his loss. She felt low, hanging her head in shame, as though peering eyes were watching her.

  Victoria tried to put her conversation with Ted out of her mind. She stretched her legs and sat up in bed, willing herself to rise as she headed to the shower. She stood under the stream of warm, flowing water, hoping it would soothe her mind. She grabbed her netted bath sponge and squirted it full of shower gel, lathering her body as she washed the remainder of Parker’s scent from her skin.

  She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fluffy towel around her body, then walked over to the edge of the bed and thought about the night before. “What have I done?” she said to an empty room. She slipped into her robe and quickly stripped the sheets off her bed, holding them up to her nose, smelling Parker’s citrus-spice fragrance, which lingered from the night before. She walked downstairs and stuffed them into the washing machine, getting rid of her evidence like a guilty person trying to cover up a crime.

  She felt terrible about kissing Parker and letting him touch her body in a way that only her husband should. “I can’t believe I actually went to his hotel room,” Victoria whispered to herself. “Why did I do it?” But then she knew exactly why she had done it. She wanted him. She wanted to make love to him, and she knew she had narrowly escaped making the biggest mistake of her life.

  But the troubling thought that plagued her was that she wouldn’t be strong enough to resist Parker the next time.Victoria shook her head. “There can’t ... there won’t be a next time,” she said.

  An hour later her cell phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Parker. She let it ring until MISSED CALL flashed across the screen. “Oh, Lord,” she sighed. “I should’ve known better.”

  Victoria made herself a cup of chamomile tea to calm her nerves and relaxed in the den while she read the day’s paper. But the red light flashing on her BlackBerry called out to her to listen to Parker’s message. When she clicked the keys, she saw that he hadn’t left a voice message, but he’d sent a text.

  How r u 2day?

  Victoria sat still for a moment, then decided to answer back. I’m good & u?

  Will b better once I c u. I’m @ the hotel, waiting 4 u... .

  I told u we can’t do this again. It has 2 stop. Good-bye.

  After a few minutes passed,Victoria glanced at her phone again. She was glad the red message light wasn’t flashing. She finished her cup of tea, skimmed through the rest of the newspaper, and prayed that Parker would keep his distance.

  No Matter the Cost ...

  Later that evening, Parker sat alone in his living room. The melodic sounds of his Earl Klugh CD floated through his Bose speakers as he reclined on one end of his leather sectional sofa. He propped his leg up on his mahogany coffee table, taking a sip of his favorite brandy as he stared down at a copy of the Journal of the American Medical Association that sat on his lap. He was trying to concentrate on an article about new findings in the area of endothelial function, but all he could think about was Victoria.

  It had been less than twenty-four hours since he had seen her, and he was already missing her touch. He thought about last night, and it brought a bittersweet smile to his face. Although they hadn’t made love, they had connected emotionally, setting the stage for what was to come. He had opened up his heart for her inspection, and he’d let her know that he wanted more than just a fling.

  Their encounter had left him frustrated, yet amazingly exhilarated. And despite the fact that they had been able to spend only a few brief moments in the confines of an office and a hotel room, it was fine with him, because he planned to change his course of action.

  He had decided he was going to take her out for lunch the next day and maybe even catch a movie, then end the evening back at his place. He knew the last part of his plan would take some persuading, but he wanted Victoria to start getting acquainted with his home. But to his great disappointment, she had thrown a glitch in his plans when she refused to see him. Her text was short and definitive.

  As he put the magazine away and finished the last of the brandy in his glass, his mind turned to his curiosity about the state of Victoria’s marriage. He knew it had to be bad, given the fact that she was willing to come to his hotel room, regardless of what did or did not happen. The particular cause of her unhappiness was still unclear, and he wanted to find out the details.

  Although she had refused to see him today, he didn’t let it deter him. He knew this was fresh, and that Victoria had to come into it slowly. Ending a marriage, especially when a child and considerable financial assets were involved, could be a difficult proposition. B
ut after being with her again and seeing how right they were for each other, Parker knew he had to take action and do what he should have done from the beginning—fight to win her heart, no matter the cost. He’d already waited long enough to have her, and he had no intention of delaying his happiness any further.

  Parker smiled as he thought about the new life they’d have together. After the Jack and Jill playdate, he wasn’t surprised when PJ talked about his new friend, Alexandria. “She’s nice, Dad,” PJ had told him. Right away he knew she was Victoria’s child. He remembered her name from when he had seen her years ago in the neonatal unit. The two children had hit it off immediately, and PJ had already asked if Alexandria could come over and play.

  Parker didn’t take his son’s affinity for Alexandria lightly. Unlike him, PJ was quiet and introverted by nature. He was a loving, but sensitive child who didn’t make new friends easily. But he had warmed to Alexandria like they were the best of buddies. Parker knew that the two would have no problems adjusting to a blended family, and ironically, they were only one day apart in age and looked like they could be twins. From their fair-skinned complexions to their silky black hair, deep-set eyes, and impressive height for children their age, PJ and Alexandria looked very much like brother and sister. Parker smiled again.Their instant family was picture perfect.

  Somebody’s Gonna Wind Up Dead....

  It was almost nine o’clock at night, and Victoria was thinking about the conversation she’d had with Ted earlier that day. Their exchange had been brief, and she could tell that something wasn’t right by the sound of his voice. At first she thought it might be her own guilt causing her mind to fixate on things that weren’t there. But as she listened to him talk about his day, about taking care of family business with Lilly and then returning to his hotel room to tackle ViaTech issues, her gut told her that something was simmering below the surface.