Shadow Game (GhostWalkers)

by Christine Feehan

  LILY felt absolutely numb as she watched the little girl with enormous eyes “play” games for hours. Her father’s voice was without inflection as he gave data and recited her growing abilities. She tried desperately to detach herself from emotion the way her father was so obviously able to do as he watched and filmed the little girl vomiting repeatedly from the migraines. Light hurt her eyes, sound hurt her ears, she cried and rocked and pleaded, and, through it all, Peter Whitney filmed and documented and spoke in his impersonal monotone.

  Lily stared at the video, sickened that the man she called her father, the man she loved as her father could do such things to a child. He stood there filming all the while the nurse worked to comfort and help her. He even ordered the nurse aside as he went in for close-ups as Lily pressed her hands to her ears. Several times when she had disconnected, withdrawing from the world, into herself, rocking back and forth, he had become annoyed and had instructed the nurse to isolate her from the others so she wouldn’t “infect them with her methods of retreat.”

  Lily turned off the video, tears tracking down her face. She hadn’t even known they were there. Her hand shook as she pushed open the door to the room where she had spent so many months being trained. Being watched and documented. Her breath caught in her throat. Like Ryland and his men. No matter what, they couldn’t stay at the Donovans laboratories. She had to find a safe, protected place until she could sort out the information and find a way to help them.

  Lily lay down on the third bed from the left. Her bed. She curled up in the fetal position and pressed both hands over her ears to drown out the sound of her own sobbing.

  FIVE

  RUSSELL Cowlings was still missing. Ryland counted his one-hundredth push-up and continued thinking his way step by step through the planned escape. He had managed to bring the men together telepathically, with the exception of one. Russell had not answered or been felt by any of the team for several days.

  Ryland felt helpless, cursing as he raised his body up and down, working his muscles to stay fit. He had to convince Lily that every one of his men was in danger. There was no concrete evidence, but he felt it. In his heart and soul he knew it. If they remained much longer in the cages of the Donovans laboratories, they would all disappear, one by one. Like Russell.

  In sheer frustration. Ryland leapt to his feet and paced restlessly across the length of his prison. His head was throbbing from holding the telepathic link for so long for all the team members while they discussed how to survive on the outside if their escape succeeded. It had been a longer conversation than usual, and they had continued to test and disrupt the alarms and security system often, using even more energy. He rubbed his temples, feeling slightly sick.

  Pain hit him hard. Drove him to his knees. Lily. It was a knife in his gut, doubling him over. A stone in his chest crushing him. Sorrow such as he had never known and never wanted to experience. At that moment nothing else mattered but to get to her. Find her and comfort her. Protect her. The need was alive and crawling through his body and mind.

  He began to build the bridge between them. A bridge strong and sure so he could cross the boundaries of time and space.

  Lily dreamt of a river of tears. Tears filling up the sea and splashing onto land. She dreamt of blood and pain and monstrous men lurking in shadows. She dreamt of a man kneeling beside her, gathering her into his arms and holding her tightly to him, rocking her back and forth in an attempt to comfort her. When he couldn’t stop her tears, he began to kiss her face, following the wet trail from her eyes to her mouth. Kissing her over and over. Long, drugging kisses that robbed her of her ability to think or breathe or even grieve.

  Ryland. She knew him. Dream lover. He had stolen into her nightmare to carry her away. “I feel so empty and lost.” Even in her dream, she sounded forlorn.

  “You’re not lost, Lily,” he replied gently.

  “I am nothing. I belong nowhere. With nobody. None of this is real, don’t you see? He robbed us of our life, of our free will.”

  “You belong in my world where there are no boundaries. You’re a GhostWalker. It doesn’t matter how it came to be, Lily, it simply is. We belong together. Be with me.” Ryland stood up, held out his hand to her.

  “What are we doing?” she murmured, reaching to take his offered hand, shocked that they were outside a cage, outside the thick walls of her home. Away from the secrets kept beneath the earth. “Where are we going?” His fingers closed around hers, strong and reassuring. Her heart gave a peculiar lurch in recognition of him.

  “Where would you like to go?”

  “Anywhere, anywhere away from here.” She wanted to be far from that laboratory and the truth buried beneath the stories of her house. The weight of her knowledge crushed her until she could barely breathe.

  He wanted her to trust him enough to tell him what had distressed her, but he simply tucked her hand into his and took her out into the night.

  “How can you be here, Ryland? How can you be here with me?”

  “I can walk in dreams. Raoul, we call him Gator, can control animals. Sam can move objects. There’s a lot of talent among us, but there’s only a few who are dreamwalkers.”

  “Thank you for coming to me.” Lily said it simply. She meant it. She had no idea why he made her feel whole when she had been so shattered, but walking beside him, tucked beneath the protection of his shoulder, gave her a semblance of peace.

  They wandered through the darkened streets together, not really paying attention to where they were going, simply being together. “Tell me about it, Lily.” Ryland walked very close to her, his larger body brushing against hers protectively.

  She shook her head. “I can’t think about it, not even here.”

  “You’re safe here with me. I’ll keep you safe. Tell me what he did to you.”

  “He didn’t love me. That’s what he did, Ryland. He didn’t love me.” She wouldn’t look at him. She stared off into the night, her face averted, her expression so sad it threatened to break his heart.

  Ryland gathered her into his arms protectively, holding her close, transporting them across time and space. Far away from laboratories and cages. Away from reality so that the wind blew on their faces and they could simply be together. A respite her brain grabbed at and held on to. Their bodies soared free and they could go where their minds took them, but her sorrow walked with them in their dreamworld. And so did his worries. “One of my men is missing, Lily. I can’t reach him.”

  She knew what he wanted. “I’ll find him. I’ll ask to speak with all the men tomorrow. I’ve supposedly been given access to everyone. Which man?” She ducked her head, guilt weighing heavily.

  “Russell Cowling. And I don’t blame you, Lily. I know that’s what you’re thinking. Your father…”

  “I don’t want to talk about him.” Her dreamworld was beginning to dissolve around the edges as the harshness of reality intruded.

  Ryland framed her face with his hands. “I saw his eyes when he looked at you. He loved you very much. Whatever sins he committed, Lily, he did love you.”

  She looked up at him, her long lashes wet with tears. “Did he? I thought he did, but there’s an entire room filled with tapes neatly labeled ‘Lily’ to prove otherwise.”

  Ryland bent his head, taking her mouth, needing to take away her sorrow. His mouth was exquisitely gentle on hers, tender and coaxing. A kiss meant to be innocent. Healing. It was his intention to comfort her. But fire raced through him. He felt it in his veins. In his belly. In the heavy fullness of his groin. It burned along his skin and took him by surprise.

  Lily melted into him, pliant and yielding. Her mouth opened to his, her arms creeping around his neck so that he could feel her generous breasts pressed tightly against the wall of muscles along his chest. Energy arced between them, snapping and sizzling as if alive. His skin to hers and back again. Small bolts of lightning whipped in his bloodstream. His arms tightened possessively.

  Lily lifted her
head to look at him, searching his face for answers. Nothing could prepare her for the instant and overwhelming physical attraction. She didn’t trust anything so strong. She shook her head silently in denial.

  Ryland could see it in her face. A groan escaped. “Lily, can’t you see there’s more than just something physical between us? I ache for you, I won’t deny it, but I feel sad when you’re sad. I want more than anything to make you happy, to know you’re safe. I think about you every minute of the day. You refuse to see what’s between us. I look at you and see clouds in your eyes when you’re looking back. Does it matter so much to you the why of it?”

  “This isn’t real, Ryland. You’re here with me, talking to me because you felt my need, but it still isn’t real. It’s a dream we’re both sharing.”

  “I felt your need, across time and space, I still felt your need of me. Doesn’t that tell you something, Lily?”

  “It’s still a dream, Ryland.”

  “It’s real enough that we could be caught in it. Dreamwalking isn’t easy, Lily.” He allowed his arms to drop to his sides, unable to bear her body touching his when she didn’t want him.

  Lily caught his hand, weaving her fingers through his because she couldn’t stand to be without physical contact with him. “What do you mean, we could be caught in it? Caught in the dream itself?”

  He shrugged his broad shoulders. “No one knows for sure how it works. Your father was the one who warned me to be careful. He said it was too difficult holding the bridge in this state and that anyone riding the same wave might enter and be able to harm me if I wasn’t expecting it. And if I were caught in the dream, living in this world, I might not return to the other. I’d be in a dream state, appearing much like I’m in a coma to the outside world.” Ryland glanced down at her and found himself smiling. Lily reacted as he expected she would, assimilating the information with great interest.

  “I had no idea it was possible. Can any of the others walk in dreams?”

  “One or two. We found it was very rare and it does take a tremendous concentration and focus. Even more than sustaining the telepathic link for an extended period of time.” He brought her hand to his chest, trapping her palm over his heart. His thumb stroked along the back of her hand, small caresses she felt all the way to her toes.

  “I’d like to see the recorded data on it and read my father’s notes to see what he thought. It doesn’t make sense that it seems so real. I can feel you.” She ran her free hand over his chest. “I can taste you.” He was still in her mouth, on her tongue, deep inside her where she would never get him out.

  “And yet we can be anywhere. Anywhere at all.” He tugged at her and Lily found they were in a park, surrounded by trees. Leaves glittered silver in the moonlight above her head. “I can’t see trees in that cage I’m in so sometimes I come here.”

  Lily laughed with delight and looked up at Ryland. At once the smile faded from her face and her heart began to pound. It was the way he looked at her. The intensity of his hunger for her alone. The stark desire he never tried to hide from her. His hot gaze burned over her possessively, marked her for his.

  Her entire body went hot. Deep inside, molten heat swirled and pooled low, leaving her aching and bereft. Her fingers splayed wide across his chest. For one moment she thought of removing his shirt, to feel the warmth of his skin. She wanted to be melded to him, skin against skin. Bodies tangled together. Sweat mingling.

  “Stop it,” Ryland said quietly. He tipped her chin up to claim her mouth. There was nothing innocent or comforting in his kiss. His hand moved over the silk of her shirt to capture her breast. “What you feel, I feel. You broadcast loudly and I can’t think straight.” His thumb stroked her nipple right through the material, even as he bent his head once more to hers. “Are you wearing anything under this blouse?”

  His kiss rocked her. Flames danced in her blood and colors burst behind her eyelids. He robbed her of breath, yet fed her air. With the weight of her breast resting in the warmth of his palm, every muscle in her body tightened and ached for fulfillment. For just one moment, Lily allowed her body to rule her brain. She kissed him back just as possessively, just as wantonly. Without thought or inhibition.

  She wanted him. She had dreams often of the right man, what it should be, what it would be. In every dream she had cast aside her inhibitions. Here he was, the perfect man. Her man. Standing right in front of her and anything she did wouldn’t count.

  Her hands moved instinctively over his body, claiming him as intimately as he was claiming her. She was bold and sure, unable to control the wildfire burning out of control. There was a roaring in her head, a dizzy kaleidoscope of pure feeling, fire and color. Silks and satins. Candlelight. Everything she’d ever dreamt of and more. She simply gave herself up to him, willing to be in a dream. Willing to feel nothing but obsession and belonging.

  Lily stiffened. Jerked back to stare up at Ryland’s face. At the passion stamped there, the dark possession. The naked love. She pushed hard at the wall of his chest, shaking her head. “No, this is going too far, change it. Change the dream.”

  His hands framed her face. “This is our dream together. It isn’t just me, Lily.”

  “I was afraid of that,” she murmured. Lily rested her forehead against his chest, trying to breathe air into her lungs and clear her mind. “I’ve never once in my life been like this around anyone.”

  Ryland’s palm curved around the nape of her neck. His lips brushed the top of her head. “Is that supposed to make me feel bad? I would rather you didn’t want every man you saw, Lily.” There was a hint of laughter in his voice.

  She lifted her head to glare at him. “You know exactly what I meant. I can’t keep my hands off you.” Even in her dream she blushed a vivid red at the admission.

  “Close your eyes.” He ordered it softly.

  Lily felt his kiss, featherlight on her eyelids. When he lifted his head, she opened her eyes in puzzlement. She was standing in her favorite museum. Her comfort spot. She roamed the museum often, sitting sometimes on the benches to look at the beauty of the paintings. The artwork never failed to bring her peace. For some reason, while she was in the building surrounded by such priceless treasures, she could fend off the emotions of those around her and simply soak up the atmosphere.

  “How did you know?”

  “That you love it here?” He took her hand, drew her to stand in front of a fantasy depicting dragons and warlords. “You thought of it several times. It mattered to you so it mattered to me.”

  Lily smiled up at him, her heart in her eyes. She couldn’t help it. It touched her that he would trade his outdoor dream for her museum. “I’m not exactly certain what I am wearing under these clothes, Ryland.” She laughed softly, invitingly, knowing she shouldn’t but unable to stop herself.

  Ryland kissed her again because he couldn’t help it. She was looking at him with her eyes too big for her face and her tempting mouth and she shook him all the way to his soul. He lifted his head to look at her clothes. The thin silk of her blouse. The long skirt that covered her legs all the way to her ankles. He raised an eyebrow. “Very nice.”

  “I thought so. But you have to guess what I have on underneath.”

  Every muscle in his body contracted, tightened. Every cell went on alert. His gaze immediately swept her figure, searching for clues to the mystery. Lily laughed softly and led him around the room, pointing out her favorite paintings.

  As they stood in front of a large crystalline sculpture of a winged dragon, Ryland reached out casually and slipped his fingers inside the neckline of her blouse. Loosely. The pad of his fingers feathered over her bare skin. “Are you wearing underwear, Lily? I have to know.” And he did have to know. It seemed the most important thing in the world.

  She skimmed her hand down his chest, knowing she was being provocative, but no longer caring. She was in a dream and she meant to take full advantage. In a dream she could do anything, have anything, and she wanted Ryla
nd Miller. “And you think I should be talking about such things here in this very public place.”

  Ryland laughed softly. “Not so public tonight. I had them shut it down for us. A private showing. And I can’t stop thinking about the underwear, Lily, whether you’re completely naked beneath that outfit, or whether you’re covered.” His fingers dipped lower, over the swell of her breast. “I have to know.”

  “What are you doing?” Lily asked breathlessly. His hand skimmed down the front of her blouse, as if brushing crumbs from her silken top, yet lingering on the dark nipples hidden beneath the thin material. He brought her body to instant life, her nipples taut, her breasts full and aching.

  His fingers brushed over her breasts a second time. Slow. Unhurried. This time sliding a button open. Her blouse gaped slightly, giving him a better view of her cleavage. She was beautiful, her breasts full and firm, swaying gently beneath the silk as she walked beside him. And she wasn’t wearing a bra, just as he had suspected. His body instantly reacted, hard and thick and full with heat.

  “I don’t know, honey, something about this place just turns me on.” He grinned at her, outrageously uninhibited, sinfully wicked. His eyes were hot with desire. His fingers tangled with hers and he tugged her off balance so that she fell against him. Her body molded to his, fit perfectly.

  Right there, in the room filled with hundred-year-old paintings, he lowered his mouth to hers. She tasted his desire, a hot, masculine passion that instantly ignited an answering flame in the pit of her stomach. She lost herself in his strength and hunger. His hands slid down her back, shaped her body, feeling his way through the material of her skirt.

  At once his heart began to thud in reaction to the knowledge. His groin tightened to the point of pain and a fire spread in his belly. There wasn’t a single pantie line. His mouth grew hotter and he pressed her tightly into him. Whips of lightning streaked through him with the contact against his throbbing arousal. “We need a bed, Lily,” he breathed into her mouth. “Right now. The bench is looking darned good.”