Twin Roses

by Sarah Cross

  By the time the evening crew arrived and Pearl and Theo emerged from the kitchen, Thurston had gone through five sodas and half a pizza from down the street. The open box was splayed out on his table like a Reserved sign.

  “What are we doing now?” Theo asked.

  Pearl glanced at Ruby. “I don’t know. Are you hungry? Should we all get something to eat?”

  “Anything but sushi,” Theo said. “I had enough of that as a bear.”

  Pearl laughed. Ruby would have laughed, too, normally, but all she could think of was being stuck with Thurston while Pearl and Theo did various cute, couple-y things. She waited for Thurston to protest—he’d been ready to leave for hours—but he didn’t. He raised his eyebrows at her, like it was her call. What—were they friends now?

  “Ruby?” Pearl prompted. “You want to?” There was a hopefulness in her voice. Ruby didn’t want to disappoint her.

  “Sure. Why not?”

  They chose Will & Jake’s because it was nearby and there was nothing even close to raw on the menu—everything was barbecued, seared, deep-fried, or baked to bubbly perfection. It was the kind of restaurant where people talked loudly instead of murmured. Everything was tinged with burnt red light, and even the air smelled grilled.

  Ruby ended up sitting next to Pearl and across from Thurston. The food was fine, the company less so. Thurston kept giving her these looks that were just … annoying. Constant reactions to things the happy couple said and did. She might have thought he was trying to commiserate with her if he hadn’t gone out of his way to irritate her all afternoon. Theo and Pearl were too busy exchanging embarrassed glances and giddy smiles to notice.

  When Pearl and Theo got up to go look at the kitchen—which was open so diners could watch the chefs at work—Thurston said, “I guess they haven’t spent enough time in kitchens today.”

  He was leaning back in his chair, doing that must take up more space thing again. It was supposed to look relaxed, but Thurston looked like a kid who wanted to hurl rocks into the sea until his arm gave out. He was harboring some less-than-cool emotion and doing his best to hide it with a gratuitous show of disdain.

  “So what’s your deal with Theo?” Ruby asked. “I haven’t heard you say you’re happy he’s back. Are you?”

  There was a long pause while he finished his drink. “I’m not unhappy about it.”

  “Then …?”

  “It’ll be better when my parents calm down. Right now it just feels like an extension of the last ten years of my life. All Theo, all the time.”

  “They’re excited. Can you blame them?”

  “Excited, obsessed.” He shrugged. “They’re already planning your sister’s wedding. Yours, too. White-and-red theme—I’m not kidding. Maybe you should stop by and tell them it’s not gonna happen.”

  “Can’t you tell them? You didn’t have a problem telling me.”

  “I don’t talk to them about my life. Or anything, anymore. All they ever wanted to talk about were my feelings about Theo. My grief. And then, when I wouldn’t, they sent me to a therapist. They were sure I was repressing it.”

  “Were you?”

  “No. I was convinced he was dead. And I thought they were crazy. Going into the woods with his old sketchbooks and waving them at the trees, like Theo-the-bear had amnesia and they were going to jog his memory with a bunch of old drawings. They even bought a second house in the woods—and they hate the woods. They left the doors and windows open and were always grilling steaks, hoping the smell would bring Theo home. They’re lucky a real bear didn’t show up and kill them.”

  Thurston bowed his head, toyed with the bones on his plate. “Ten years. I thought they were crazy … and they needed to get over it and give up on him. Like I did.”

  Pearl and Theo returned, scooting into their chairs with county-fair smiles on their faces—like they’d spent all day eating cotton candy and dancing to bad local bands. They pored over the dessert menu and ordered a giant wedge of chocolate cake dripping with chocolate ganache, and strawberry shortcake stacked so high it toppled over when the plate was set down.

  Pearl and Theo fed each other forkfuls of cake, and the cuteness didn’t even seem disgusting. They just wanted to share everything so badly—and Ruby felt a twinge at that realization.

  Because sharing everything—that was what you did with the person who was your everything. And how could Pearl have two everythings?

  When the desserts had been demolished, Theo told Pearl, “The stuff you make is better.”

  “You’re only saying that because you helped.”

  Sparkle. Smile. True love’s grin.

  Ruby looked away.

  When they left the restaurant the street lamps were glowing. Theo stood behind Pearl, put his hands on her shoulders, and said, “Where to?” As if the night was their adventure and it never had to end.

  Pearl laid her hand on one of his. “Home, I guess, but …” And then her gaze shifted to Ruby. “We should probably get home. Ruby and I have work in the morning.”

  “Can I see you tomorrow?” Theo asked. “I could come by the café. Help again?”

  “Yes, you should. Absolutely. Come by and see both of us.” Pearl squeezed the hand that cupped her left shoulder and smiled at Ruby, like, See? That’s settled.

  Ruby knew what her sister was doing—she’d seen the uncertainty, the worry in Pearl’s face, the way she hesitated and then made up for it with more enthusiasm. She was making a resolution that Ruby was not going to let her make.

  Changing out of her work clothes, alone for the first time all day, Pearl touched her arm, her shoulders, her hands—every place that Theo had touched. He’d marked her as surely as the fairy who’d bestowed her curse had done. Twin roses at the small of her back. Hello on her elbow. This is nice tucked inside her palm. Can I see you again? on her shoulders. Every moment was still with her. Every word.

  And yet …

  Her happiness felt like a crime. It lifted her up—and then it turned heavy, sinking from her heart to her stomach, where it settled like guilt.

  They were supposed to share everything. Their mother had instilled it in them: What one girl has she must share with the other. And while it was impossible to share Theo, it wasn’t impossible to give him up. They could share him as a friend. Or—Ruby could have him. Pearl couldn’t imagine Theo not liking Ruby—not loving her, if the two spent more time together.

  Snow White and Rose Red shared; they weren’t selfish. In the fairy tale, things were settled neatly—Snow White married the prince and Rose Red married the prince’s brother. That was considered a happy ending once. But now it was sad and unfair. It presumed that Rose Red’s feelings were so unimportant that it didn’t matter who she married, as long as she and her sister had the same social status. The married sisters shared a castle, and their princes were probably off waging wars or hunting most of the time. So maybe it really hadn’t mattered.

  But it did now. She saw in Ruby’s face—in the absence of her usual smile—just how much it mattered.

  When Ruby entered their bedroom, Pearl waited for her to say something, and when she didn’t—when she just settled on her bed with a bottle of nail polish remover, as if that task required all her concentration—Pearl sat down next to her, determined to talk about things they didn’t want to talk about. They were too good at sharing silences when a difficult subject cropped up.

  “Tired of the red?” Pearl asked. It was a silly question—Ruby only wore red polish. Occasionally, she’d let Pearl paint a design on her nails. A rose, a bear’s head, a crown.

  “Tired of this red,” Ruby said, splaying her fingers so Pearl could see. “It’s chipping.”

  “Want me to do a design for you?”

  Ruby shrugged. “I don’t know if I feel like having curse-themed nails right now.”

  “Ruby—” Pearl’s voice broke.

  “Pearl, everything’s fine. Calm down.”

  “It’s not fine. I know you.
I know it’s not.”

  “Would we be having this conversation if I’d let you paint a rose on my nail?”

  “This has nothing to do with your nails. It’s about your heart. I care about your heart. About how you feel. And—”

  “Pearl,” Ruby said softly.

  “No, listen to me. Please.” Pearl couldn’t look at her sister. Not now. She linked her own fingers together and clung to the invisible marks as she forged ahead. “I love you. I love you so much. And I know you’re unhappy. I don’t want you to feel that—that my happiness has to come at the expense of yours. Because it doesn’t. Nothing—nothing, Ruby—is more important to me than you are. Theo and I are close. But we’re still just friends. We haven’t kissed, or—anything.” She stumbled over the partial lie. “He’s just—he’s been so lonely, trapped in his enchantment all those years, and so—he forms attachments quickly. And he always liked us. Us. Not just me, Ruby. And if you like him—if you love him—if you even think that you might …”

  “Don’t be stupid, Pearl.”

  “Stupid?” Pearl looked up.

  “Theo likes you—he genuinely likes you—in a different way than he likes anybody else. And you feel the same way about him. Don’t try to pretend you don’t care.”

  “It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that—”

  “It’s just that you’re willing to break your own heart—and his—because you think it’ll make me happy. Why would taking away something you love make me happy?” Ruby sighed. “Look. I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t been upset about the way this turned out. I don’t think you can blame me for being disappointed.”

  Pearl started to respond, and Ruby shook her head.

  “But I’m not disappointed that you’re happy. I feel left out. Like the curse came with a happy ending built for two and I don’t really have a place anymore. It was always you and me, or the three of us. And then … I mean, I had a crush on Theo, too. That was years ago, but when he first came back, I didn’t even have time to figure out how I felt before you guys … well, it’s obvious you’re made for each other. So I knew that before I knew what was going on in my heart. And it hurt.”

  “I’m sorry, Ruby.”

  “Shhh. Listen. I’m used to having you all to myself. We shared everything but I never had to share you. That’s new to me; I don’t know how to deal with that yet. No one ever came between us. No one ever made me feel like I was second—”

  “You’ll never be second.”

  “I know,” Ruby said with half a smile. “I was being stupid, too. So please: don’t try to give me your boyfriend. There’s been enough stupidity over this curse already.”

  “You’re really okay with it?”

  “More than okay.”

  “I’m glad,” Pearl said. “I can’t stand hurting you.” She hugged her sister—a long embrace that squeezed the worry out of her and made her feel like they were truly together again. “Can I do your nails now?”

  Ruby held out her hands. “Make me art.”

  Pearl painted a twin rose design: red roses on white polish, white roses on red. Before any enchanted bears had come into their lives, before the ungrateful thief, before the prince, the curse had been about them. Two sisters. Best friends. Girls who protected each other, looked out for each other, loved each other. They would always share that.

  No matter what happened, that part of the curse would never be broken.

  Ruby stood on the porch like an overprotective mom while Theo walked Pearl to the car—their own mother was too laid-back to harass Pearl’s dates. Mrs. Ramble had met Theo inside, said it was nice to see him and that he was almost as cute now as he’d been as a bear. Then she’d told Theo and Pearl to have a good time. Reminding them about curfews was left to Ruby.

  “Make sure you bring yourself home by midnight,” Ruby called to her sister, since Pearl was driving.

  Thurston had brought Theo over so Theo could meet Mrs. Ramble, and now he added, “Don’t steal any picnic baskets!” But he pronounced it pic-a-nic, à la Yogi Bear.

  “Okay!” Pearl called back, laughing. She stuck her arm out the window and waved good-bye.

  Ruby watched her sister drive off on her first-ever solo date, feeling wistful. Then she turned to Thurston. “Did you scour the Internet for outdated bear jokes?”

  “Bear jokes never go out of style.”

  “I’m sure I’ll get to hear the rest of them. Well, have fun. Whatever you’re doing tonight.”

  Thurston rubbed the freshly shaven crown on the back of his head. He didn’t look like he was getting ready to leave—more like he was searching for an excuse to stay.

  “What?” she said. He didn’t bother her as much as he had at first, but she wasn’t exactly his biggest fan.

  “You’re not jealous that Pearl’s the star of the curse?”

  “No. Pearl’s always been the star of my life. I like her in that role.”

  “God. You two are unbelievable.”

  “Are you jealous that I actually get along with my sister?” Thurston laughed. A yeah, right laugh. But then he got quiet. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  Ruby sat down on the porch steps. She’d been planning to watch TV, maybe finish the last half of a pint of ice cream Pearl had started, but she didn’t want to ditch him if he needed to talk. “Go on. Tell me. I don’t have to be your girlfriend. I can be your therapist.”

  Reluctantly, Thurston lowered himself to the porch, his long legs stretched out over the stone steps. “I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to be his brother. I missed him, but I was angry, too. It wasn’t his fault that he disappeared, but once he did, everything was about Theo. And I just wanted it to stop. I spent a lot of years not even wishing he’d come home, just wishing my parents would shut up about him. But I’m his big brother. I should’ve cared more. Cried more. I should’ve been … however you’d be if you lost your sister.”

  “I don’t even want to think about that,” Ruby said. “I wouldn’t be anything without her. But—you were a kid. And kids can be selfish. The way you felt while he was gone, and the guilt you’re feeling now—if it is guilt—”

  “It is. I think.”

  “That doesn’t mean you and Theo can’t have a good relationship. You just have to get used to each other again. And considering Theo has to get used to not scratching himself against a tree when he has an itch, in addition to being your brother, you have it a lot easier than he does.”

  “Ah, bear jokes,” Thurston said with a happy sigh.

  “Thought you’d like that one.”

  “He also has to get used to using toilet paper again. And not running through the woods naked.”

  “Careful. That’s my sister’s boyfriend you’re talking about.”

  Thurston grinned, like he was still relishing the image of Theo in the woods—and then the joy dropped away and he was quiet again. Ruby waited while he gathered his thoughts. There was so much twisted up in there. It had probably been a long time since he’d admitted these things, even to himself.

  Finally, Thurston said, “I didn’t want my life to be defined by what happened to Theo. But it is. It always was.”

  “How could it not be? He’s your brother, and one day he was just … gone.”

  “And then I had this märchen mark on my back. Double roses. I never even saw the fairy who marked me. But that was the proof my parents were looking for. They knew what had happened to him then. I felt more like a piece of evidence than a person after a while. They knew I was there, and I wasn’t going anywhere, so they could afford to forget me while they focused on finding their lost son. I guess things were supposed to go back to normal once they found him. But ten years is a long time. We don’t have any normal left.”

  “Something’s missing—a lot has been missing,” Ruby said. “But Theo didn’t take anything from you. You both had ten good years stolen. If you need someone to blame, blame the fairy who cursed Theo, or the bearded guy who set all
this in motion. Or just … decide what you actually want out of this. The past isn’t going to change. What do you want now?”

  Thurston laughed. Shaded his eyes.

  “Did I say something funny?” Ruby asked.

  “No … just … this curse. All this time, I’ve been looking at it like Theo and Pearl were the chosen ones and we were in the background. You were the runner-up and I was the consolation prize. Because that’s how everyone else sees it. But—”

  “You’re starting to realize that I’m amazing, but you’re still the consolation prize?”

  “I’m starting to think I’m lucky. Way luckier than I have a right to be.”

  “It’s too bad I don’t date boys who have brothers. Especially if their brothers used to be bears.”

  “I don’t need to date you. I just need your help. I think … you could really help me. Maybe that’s why the curse brought us together. So you could help me get my brother back.”

  “So I could help you pick a different hairstyle.”

  He laughed again. Squinted at her, sidelong. “I’m serious.”

  “I know,” she said. “But I can’t only make jokes about Theo.”

  “He’s smarter than the average bear. In his defense.”

  She rolled her eyes—although she actually didn’t mind that one. “You’re going to have to do better than that if you want me to tolerate these jokes.”

  “I will. I’ll do better. And you’ll help me?”

  “I’ll help you.” She got up, smacked at a ticklish feeling on her ankle. “I taught your brother to ride a unicycle. I think I can teach you to be a good brother again.”

  “You beat me to the unicycle joke! If that really happened, you better have pictures to prove it.”

  Ruby grinned—of course it had never happened. There was no way her mom would have bought a unicycle just so she could teach Theo circus tricks.

  “I don’t have pictures of that. But I have pictures of Theo from back then. You want to see them?”