A Thousand Little Pieces

by Cecilia Fyre

  But now the sun was shining on Lake Michigan, there were birds singing and people congregating in cafes and on park benches. It was a good day for being off work, and outside. And maybe it was a good day for the meeting she had agreed to for today.

  She found the café they’d picked as neutral ground. Lea was a few minutes early, but she went inside to check. Maybe he was early too. It would be a first, but who knew? They hadn’t seen each other in months, and he’d surprised her before.

  This time he didn’t, not right then, anyway. He wasn’t inside the café, so Lea stepped outside again. It was such a nice day, it would be a shame not to sit outside. Though depending on his head, they might have no choice. At its worst, the migraine had made it impossible for Ricco to enjoy the outdoors.

  When he bounded up the path to the café a few minutes later, it was clear that there was no reason to worry about his head. He wore a cap and shades, but the way he grinned at her awkwardly, and the way he moved, told her that his head was doing just fine. Despite everything, that was a huge relief.

  “Hey.” He looked intently at her; she could tell that even through the sunglasses. “Thanks for coming.”

  “Hi.” She returned his smile, also nervous. An awkward shuffle ensued when he leaned in to kiss her on the cheek and she didn’t react quite fast enough. The greetings finally over, she motioned at the outside tables, which were set far apart. “Are you okay to sit outside?”

  “Sure.” He studied the other patrons and pointed at a table tucked close to the building and a little way apart from the others. “Over there? Might be a little less likely to draw attention there.”

  “All right. Go grab the table and I’ll get the drinks. Latte?”

  “Two shots,” he added with a smile.

  “Coming right up.”

  It was the middle of the day and not many people were queuing inside. Lea got served quickly. When she came outside with their coffees he was sitting half in the shade from the building, with his sunglasses off but the baseball cap still in place.

  “Here.” She deposited a handful of sugars on the table. He didn’t always take sugar, but sometimes he got a sweet craving, she remembered that much.

  He shook his head and piled the sugar packets up on the side. “I’m good.”

  They sat and sipped lattes for a few moments, eyeing each other up. His gaze was steady, his eyes clear. He seemed well-rested.

  They both broke the silence at the same moment. He chuckled and gave her a nod. She took the opportunity to get her opening words out quickly. "I'm really glad to see you're well." It had sometimes bothered her that she didn't know how he was. She'd stayed in touch with Siobhan, but not as frequently as they'd both hoped. And anyway, Siobhan had moved to LA, for the time being, to star in a new drama series for one of the streaming services. She could still tap into the gossip if she wanted, but Lea felt dishonest to keep poking for information about Ricco third-hand. She'd left that world behind for a reason.

  He had no idea about those ambivalent thoughts running through her mind. “I’m doing loads better. It’s been months since it’s been really bad.”

  Lea didn’t ask what he was on now. The days where his health had been her responsibility were over. “That’s great! How…how’s Ciaran?” She’d wanted to ask how Ricco was getting on now that Hell Riders was finished and he needed a new job, but at the last moment, her nerves deserted her.

  “He’s great. He’s in the last year of high school now.” Ricco sounded extremely proud. “You were…gone by the time we heard, but his grades were so good, he was allowed to skip a year.” He gave her a sideways look. “He wants to be a doctor.”

  That gave her a small jolt of pleasure. “Does he now? Well, good for him. Tell him he can always call me if he has any questions.” That came out before she could stop herself.

  Ricco looked at her with surprise. “Do you mean it?”

  “Sure. He’s a good kid, and he’ll do well if he sets his mind to it and works hard. I’d love to help if I can.” All that was the truth.

  "Thank you." Ricco looked genuinely grateful. "So, how are you? How's Chicago treating you?" He glanced around, seemingly content with what he saw. Lea followed his gaze across the lake. The sun was reflecting in the waves gently lapping on the shoreline. It was peaceful and rather pretty.

  “Well, work is busy, just as I like it. The city is bustling, which I like too. There’s a lot more culture here than I thought. I’ve been to the theatre loads of times.”

  At that, Ricco grinned. Lea frowned. Was he about to make fun of her? “What?” It came out sharper than she’d meant it to.

  “Oh, nothing. I’m just glad I got in touch when I did. I’d hate for you to get a shock when you walk into your next play.”

  A sudden realization flooded her. “Do you mean, you got a part in a play here?” She was stunned.

  He nodded. “I know, it’s hard to credit, but yes, I do. We’ve just started rehearsals. It’s a new play by Dwight Kayne. He’s up and coming in Europe, or so I hear. The play had roaring success in London, so they wanted to bring it over here.” He looked a little embarrassed. “I think a year ago I would’ve never even considered it when they asked if I wanted the lead role in a play in Chicago. I only went to the reading because of you.”

  “Of me?” she echoed. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, you always met challenges head-on. I watched you take it all in your stride, and I so admired you for it. You were never afraid to try new things, moving to a new place, meeting high-strung celebrities, determined to make the best of everything. It’s inspiring, and not just for Ciaran.” He blushed as he said it, and Lea remembered how soft her heart could get when he blushed.

  “Thanks, I guess?” She smiled, to take the sting out of it. “So, a play, huh? It’s, well, not exactly—” Now she was the one blushing.

  “Not exactly my MO?” he suggested. “I’m not offended, don’t worry. Goodness knows I’m the first one to admit that I’m shit at learning lines.” He winked. “It’s a short play, I guess that’s what won me over.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be excellent.” She meant it too. Even if learning lines had never been Ricco’s forte, he worked hard and never gave up, even when something was an uphill battle. It struck her how odd it was that a lot of the qualities he said he’d admired in her had also been within him all this time.

  “So, how’re you liking Chicago?” He glanced around again. They had so far escaped notice from any passersby. That was one good thing about Chicago that Lea had missed in New York – open spaces where one could get away from the crowds. And the massive lake had so much shoreline, there were many places where anonymity was almost guaranteed. Ricco seemed to feel similarly. He leaned back in his chair, relaxed and at ease.

  "It's a great city," she said. "Lots to do, lots of character. And the hospital work is really interesting. At first, they were a little wary of me, I think. A researcher from England who'd worked on a prestigious project at a posh hospital in New York, you know?" She grinned to show him it didn't faze her. "The county hospital here is a lot less well-funded. But the work is fascinating and full-on. I'm glad I took the opportunity."

  If he felt any misgivings at the memory that her decision had pulled them apart from each other, he didn’t show it. “I’m so happy for you, I really am.” He glanced away over the lake again. “At first, I was angry with you, and I felt so betrayed. I got it, I did. But it was hard to lose you. You might not see it that way but having you along for some of the really difficult bits helped me so much. But then I realized that you leaving was just the kick up the ass I needed.”

  She hesitated before broaching the subject again. “You look a lot better. New medication?”

  He looked pleased. "Hardly any medication now, actually. Once Ottawa was over and done with and I was back home I finally had time to get my shit together. I started mindfulness meditation and acupressure." His hands went to his temples. "It's hard to s
how you, especially when my head isn't hurting, and I don't know where to start. But basically, when I feel the migraine coming, I massage various pressure points. And I see a therapist who does some preventative massage too. It's been a total game-changer. Nine times out of ten, I can avert an episode. And…" He grinned and wiggled his fingers at her. "No cigarette, see?"

  Lea had to confess that she hadn’t noticed. “That’s fantastic, well done!”

  “I’ve also given up alcohol. And caffeine, mostly.”

  “You should’ve said.” She indicated his drained mug. “I would’ve brought you decaf.”

  Ricco shrugged. "Nah. I have a couple lattes a week, they don't make a difference and I need a treat sometimes." He gave her a shy look from under his lashes, and suddenly all the old emotions were at the surface again. "You know when I have to do something that makes me nervous."

  “Nervous, why? Our meeting today, you mean?” He nodded. Lea sighed. “Oh, Ricco. It’s just me, why’d you need to be nervous?”

  “I…well…I wanted to ask if you’ll come and see me at the theatre.”

  It hadn’t occurred to Lea that there was any doubt about that. “Of course, I will! Now that I know you’re in a play nothing’s gonna stop me.” He looked so happy she was glad that she’d chosen to let her enthusiasm show.

  "I miss you, Lea." It seemed that now she'd said yes to the theatre, his inhibitions gave way to emotions. "You were right to leave, and in a way, I'm almost glad. But what I said in San Diego still stands. I wish my life was different, and that I could be the partner you deserve."

  There was no getting away from the fact that his frankness moved her. She reached out and took his hand, which he’d wrapped around the empty mug. “I wished it too, for a long time. But we are who we are, Ricco.”

  “We’re still friends, though, right?”

  She squeezed his fingers. “Of course, we’re friends. We’ll always be friends. And maybe we can see each other sometimes. It’s still a strange city for us both and having some snarky New Yorker to complain to will help a lot.”

  He nodded, looking at their intertwined fingers and then up at her. His eyes were bright with emotion. “I’d like that. Lea, I’d really like that very much.”

  The End

  Thank you!

  This is the end for Lea and Ricco, at least for the time being. Who knows, there might be more one day, but for now I’ll devote myself to other projects.

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  About the Author

  Cecilia Fyre is the pen name of a romance author trying out something new.

  She likes sunny, crisp autumn days. Cups of hot cocoa with little marshmallows floating on top. The roaring of the sea. Laughing until your face hurts. The silence when you curl up with a good book.

  Her stories are about people. Some of them are strange, some think they're boring. They all have secrets, they're all scared sometimes. Cecilia writes about life, about love. About how hard it is to do it right. Usually, there's a happy ending, or at least there might be one, someday.

  But life's not all sunshine and roses, and that's why Cecilia tells her stories.

  In the real world, Cecilia lives in England.

  You can find Cecilia on Twitter and Facebook.

  Also by Cecilia Fyre