Believing in Tomorrow: A Christian Romance (The Callaghans & McFaddens Book 4)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  He listened as Bennett and Mitch talked about what was going on with their family. It seemed that Max Zevardi had stepped up in a big way once again, flying two of their brothers in from the US and doing what he could to get the family help in the hospital.

  “She’ll be able to come home in a couple of weeks, provided she has none of the long list of possible complications they gave us after her first surgery. But it seems like she’s going to be needing some therapy to get back to where she was before all this happened.”

  “So they think she’ll make a full recovery?” Keenan asked.

  “They’re saying it’s possible, but it won’t be without some—a lot—of effort on her part.”

  As the other guys continued to talk, Levi finished off his coffee, and when there was a lull in the conversation, he let them know he needed to leave.

  “I have an early morning tomorrow, so I’d better get going.” Levi set his mug down on the counter. “Thanks so much for the invitation to join you guys.”

  Bennett gave him a weary smile. “Tonight was a bit different than normal. We usually have a planned study with either me, Ethan or Keenan leading.”

  “But sometimes God moves us in a different direction,” Keenan said with a smile. He reached out to rest a large hand on Bennett’s shoulder. “And that was the case tonight.”

  “It was a good evening,” Ethan said. He looked at Levi and smiled. “Thank you for being part of it.”

  “I didn’t really participate,” Levi said with a shrug.

  “You listened. You heard. Participating doesn’t always mean talking. Perhaps God wanted you to be here to hear the stories we had to share.”

  Levi nodded. There was no doubt what he’d heard had impacted him, given him plenty to think about.

  “If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call any of us,” Keenan said. “We might not have all the answers, but we will do our best to get them for you.”

  “Thank you,” Levi said then turned to Bennett. “If there’s anything I can do… Well, let me know.”

  Bennett stared at him for a moment then said, “Actually, there is. Sammi is off work for a couple of weeks because of the concussion.”

  “Yes, she mentioned that. I’m glad she’s able to take the time off. Especially with everything else going on.”

  Her brother nodded. “Yes, she’s got a lot on her mind right now with the baby and with my mom. I was wondering if maybe you’d have the time to distract her from it all. Or at least do something more positive.”

  “Distract her?” Levi asked.

  “Yeah. I mean, you guys know it’s a girl, right? Maybe you could take her shopping for some stuff for the baby. According to Grace, she hasn’t gotten anything yet. I’m not sure what she’s waiting for, but it might be a good distraction if you took her shopping.”

  Levi frowned. For some reason, he’d assumed that once she knew the sex of the baby, she’d begin to buy things for her. A knot of worry formed in his stomach. “Sure, I can do that. If she’s willing to go with me.”

  “I hope she is. If she turns you down, let me know, and I’ll see if I can encourage her to reconsider.”

  “Sounds good.” Levi said his goodbyes and jogged down the stairs to the front door. He was a bit surprised that Bennett was actually asking…encouraging…him to spend time with his sister.

  As Levi started up his truck, he found himself hoping that Samantha would be willing to go shopping with him. It concerned him that she hadn’t been buying things for the baby, and he needed to do something to ease his worry. He didn’t want to consider the reasons why she wasn’t buying anything.

  Once he got back to his house, he spent time looking over his schedule for the week, emailing Jeff and Spencer with information on the workload and assignments. After he’d finished all that, he sent a text to Samantha.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Sammi stared at herself in the mirror, somewhat amazed that her baby bump had continued to grow despite her not having much of an appetite. She felt like she was barely eating enough for one person, and yet her belly seemed to have popped overnight.

  It felt wrong to be heading out with Levi instead of going to the hospital. She’d spent the majority of the past few days there, sitting with her mom for short periods of time. Her mom was stable and awake, but disoriented and dealing with memory loss that led to emotional outbursts. That had been stressful on all of them, particularly her dad, so Sammi wasn’t sure why she’d agreed to take this time for herself, even if it was just for a short while.

  She’d chosen to wear the jeans Levi had bought for her along with a long-sleeved, flared, red top she’d found at a thrift store. After pulling on a pair of slouch boots, she grabbed her purse from the bed. Levi had said he’d be there around five to pick her up, so she didn’t want to make him wait.

  Downstairs, Sammi found Danica in the kitchen, her homework spread out on the counter in front of her. She looked up at Sammi and gave her a small smile.

  “You look nice,” she said, resting her cheek on her fist. “Where are you going?”

  Sammi shrugged. “I’m not sure. Levi just texted me last night and asked if I wanted to go out for a bit.”

  “I hope you have a good time.”

  Sammi hoped so too, but with her current mindset, she wasn’t sure if that was possible. “Are you going up to the hospital tonight?”

  “Yeah. When Mitch is finished at work, he’s going to take us up with Gabe.”

  “Was school okay for you guys today? I know it was probably hard to focus.”

  “It was, but Dad said it wasn’t healthy for us to stay at the hospital all day.”

  It wasn’t healthy for Sammi either which was why, even though she felt a bit guilty about it, she had agreed to go out with Levi. “I probably won’t go up again today. I was there throughout the day though.”

  “I’ll give her a goodnight kiss from you,” Danica said with a smile.

  “Thanks, sweetie.”

  “Levi’s here,” Dalton said as he walked into the kitchen. “I was in the living room and saw his truck. I’m assuming he’s here for you.”

  “He is,” Sammi said, bending over to give Danica a kiss on the head before going to Dalton and giving him one as well. “See you later.”

  She opened the front door to greet Levi. A quick smile crossed his face when he saw her. It had been over a week since they’d last been together, and something settled within her at the sight of him.

  “I guess you’re ready to go,” he said as he waited for her to reach his side.

  They walked down the steps together, and when they got to his truck, he held the door open for her. She pulled herself in and quickly did up the seatbelt as he rounded the front of the truck to climb behind the wheel.

  “So. What are we up to?” Sammi asked. “Or is it a surprise?”

  A corner of Levi’s mouth lifted at her question as he glanced over at her, his hand twisting the ignition key. “Not really a surprise. We’re going to have dinner and then go shopping. Or shopping then dinner. Your choice. Also you get to choose where to eat. So maybe the surprise is on me.”

  Sammi smiled for what felt like the first time in forever. “Shopping? What are we going shopping for? I’ve got enough maternity clothes.”

  Levi hesitated before answering her. “We’re going shopping for the baby.”

  “The baby?”

  “Yes. I heard you hadn’t really gotten anything for her yet, so I thought maybe we could go shopping together for a few things.” He paused. “I want to help get her the things she needs.”

  Levi’s offers to help usually filled Sammi with a feeling of warmth. But that night, it was just a reminder of the tumultuous state of mind she’d been dealing with since her mom’s collapse. That event had changed so many things for the family, and for Sammi, it had resurrected some of the thoughts she’d had at the beginning of the pregnancy.

  While Levi might say that he would be there
to help with their daughter, the reality was that Sammi would be the one who cared for the baby the most. And now she would also have to help care for her mom. As she’d listened to the doctors discuss her mom’s prognosis, Sammi realized it wasn’t going to be an easy or quick recovery. Would she be able to give her mom and the baby each the attention that they needed in addition to working? That they deserved?

  Sammi stared out the window, fighting the self-pity that threatened to overtake her. She knew, no matter how she packaged it, that the bottom line was that she was being ridiculous. Women the world over managed to raise children alone. Many in way worse situations than the one she was in—even with her mom being so ill.

  Her own mother had been raising the four of them by herself when she’d met Steve. She’d watched with five-year-old curiosity as Steve had courted her mom. Even though she was young, she recognized the love he’d had for her mom and then for the rest of them. As she’d continued to observe that love and affection grow between them as she’d grown up, she’d decided she wanted that for herself. And then it had grown from there, fueled by her desire to show to the world that she was loved and cherished. As if her worth as a person was only validated by whether or not a man loved her.

  She had wanted it all. The romantic courtship. A memorable proposal. A lavish white wedding. A honeymoon with the man she loved. And then—after they’d been married for a little while—a baby. But, she’d torpedoed that dream, starting with the night when she’d given in to Jayden, believing that he truly did love her and would be with her forever.

  For some reason, in recent days, her selfish thoughts had surfaced once again, and she’d realized that actually, they’d never gone away. Levi’s comment about her not buying anything for the baby had been made casually, but it had been like a shot to her heart. The sudden understanding that in spite of what she thought she’d decided, it seemed like she was distancing herself from the baby. How was that possible?

  “I’m not really sure about how things will be set up for the baby,” Sammi said, trying to fight the nauseous feeling in her stomach. Somehow she needed to find a way to put these thoughts and doubts to rest once and for all, and to accept her circumstances and to stop dwelling on what she’d hoped her life would be like. “I had been thinking about moving out, but now with Mom…” She paused for a moment, trying to keep control of her emotions. “So anyway, I just haven’t bought anything yet. I still have lots of time.”

  “Well, I’d like to shop with you for a few things, if that’s okay. I know we’ll need a crib and…uh…clothes.”

  “Yeah. Among other things. The baby doesn’t need a lot at first, though, to be honest.”

  “If you want to go to dinner first, we can talk about what we need to buy.”

  “Sure, that sounds good. And I’m fine with whatever restaurant. I can usually find something on any menu to eat now that my morning sickness has settled down.”

  In the end, Levi took her to a small restaurant that wasn’t too busy. They were seated at a booth next to the windows at the front of the building with a clear view of the sidewalk and the road. It wasn’t the swankiest restaurant around, but if the aroma was anything to go by, the food was going to be delicious.

  After the waitress had taken their orders, Levi shifted in his seat, his leg bumping against hers under the table. He looked at her, his blue gaze steady and piercing.

  “So how have you been doing?”

  Sammi had to bite back several snarky responses. My mom is never going to be the same again, how do you think I’ve been doing? or I’m pregnant and not married, how do you think I’ve been doing? She didn’t say them because she knew that wasn’t right, that it was her emotional state combined with tiredness and fear that was spurring those responses. Most of all, she didn’t say them because Levi didn’t deserve them. He had been nothing but kind to her, and she wanted to be the same to him.

  Since he seemed sincere in his question, Sammi decided to be honest. “I’ve had my ups and downs. It’s hard to see my mom like this. She’s just not…herself, you know?”

  Levi nodded. “I understand how that is.”

  Sammi looked at him, wondering if he was just being sympathetic or if he truly did have experience with something like she was going through. “Did something happen to someone close to you?”

  Levi stared out the window briefly before looking back at her. For a moment, Sammi thought he wasn’t going to answer her.

  “My mom. She was in a bad car accident.” He paused, a pained look on his face. “It left her paralyzed from the neck down. That has changed her a lot.”

  “And your dad?”

  He shook his head. “He wasn’t around anymore. It was just me, my mom and Davy. We had to sell her house and put Mom in a home. There was no way I could care for her like she needed and still be able to work. It took some major adjustments on Mom’s part, but eventually, she began to settle into her new home.” He sighed, his shoulders rising and falling with the effort. “Then all this stuff happened with Davy. She’s not happy with me.”

  “Does she know about the baby?” Sammi asked, her hand moving to rub her belly.

  “No. I’m not sure what her reaction would be. I’ll tell her.” Levi paused. “Eventually.”

  Before their conversation could continue, the waitress returned with their food. Sammi stared down at the basket containing the chicken strips and fries that she’d ordered. She glanced at Levi before bowing her head to give thanks for the food.

  “So what do we need to get for the baby?” Levi asked, apparently ready to abandon the conversation about their mothers.

  For a moment, Sammi sat in silence, nibbling on a French fry. Was it right to focus on something other than her mom? She was already so laden down with guilt, she couldn’t bear anymore. She didn’t want to feel the guilt of not thinking of her mom when she should have been.

  “Your mom wouldn’t want you to stop living,” Levi said, his voice soft.

  Surprised that he had picked up on her thoughts, Sammi glanced over at him, seeing understanding in his gaze. Sammi knew he was right, but it still was hard to think about putting aside her worry for her mom. She ripped off a piece of a chicken strip and dipped it into the sweet and sour sauce that sat in a small cup on the side of the basket. “I guess the thing we need first is a car seat. Maybe one with two bases so that you could use it in your truck too.”

  “Two bases?” Levi asked, his burger halfway to his mouth.

  For a moment, Sammi felt herself smile. “Yeah. I’ll show you what I mean when we get to the store.”

  Levi set his burger down and pulled out his phone. He tapped on the screen and then looked up. “Okay. Car seat. What else?”

  “A crib. A playpen. A change table.” Sammi rattled off the first things that came to mind. “But we can look more when we go to the store. To be honest, I really don’t know what all is available for babies these days. Makayla has bought some stuff, but I think they’re having a baby shower for her.”

  “A baby shower?” She wasn’t too surprised that Levi didn’t know about baby showers. It seemed his circle of friends was small and didn’t include any pregnant women.

  Sammi tried to ignore the pain in her chest as she recalled hearing her mom and Makayla talk about the baby shower that Grace and Tami were planning with the women’s group from church. There would be no baby shower attended by women from the church for Sammi. “Yeah. It’s something that’s put on for a woman who's having a baby. Usually, it’s just for female friends and family. They give gifts that the baby will need.”

  “Are they having one for you?”

  “No.” Sammi took another bite of her chicken, trying to bring back the appetite that had made a brief appearance but was now rapidly disappearing.

  She wondered if Levi would press her on why they wouldn’t have a baby shower for her, too, but from the look on his face, he understood. In truth, she wasn’t that disappointed she wasn’t having a shower. Her s
ocial life had dwindled to pretty much nothing after finding out she was pregnant. Most of her friendship circle had been from the church which made it awkward since Jayden was still part of that group. People had seemed happy enough to have less contact with her. Of course, they had assumed her distance had come because of the break-up with Jayden, not realizing she was pregnant.

  “Well, it’s a good thing we’re planning to buy what we need then,” Levi said, his mouth curving up at the corners. “This is all new to me.”

  “Me too,” Sammi said. “I mean, I’ve been around babies before. Olivia, for example. So I know about babies, I just didn’t think I’d be having one of my own so soon. Or in this kind of a situation.”

  “We’ll figure it out,” Levi said, meeting her gaze with a smile. “Together.”

  Looking at the warmth in his gaze, Sammi felt the knot of tension that had tightened in her earlier begin to loosen. For the first time since going to Levi to tell him about the pregnancy, she felt like she really wasn’t alone. He’d said the words before—that he would be there to help with the baby—but this was the first time she’d allowed herself to believe them. Even though she had her family around her, with everything else going on, especially recently, she had felt as if she was alone in her situation. Levi’s words—and the sincerity behind them—helped to calm something within her.

  “Yes.” Sammi returned his smile. “Together.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Levi turned, taking in the expanse of baby items in the Babies R Us store that Samantha had suggested they go to once they were done eating. Did a baby really need all of this stuff? And would they need two of everything? One for wherever Samantha ended up living and one for his place?

  He was still trying to figure out what to do about his house. Originally, he’d been planning to knock down the wall between two of the bedrooms to make a large master bedroom for him and Caren, and then convert the smaller third bedroom into an office for his business. Caren had wanted him to move, and he had promised her that once they started a family, they would.