Chapter Five
Blake walked through the barn at Cooper Creek, aware he wasn’t alone. He’d seen Jackson’s truck parked by the house, and since he hadn’t seen him in the house, figured he must be out here. He checked the office and then headed for the arena.
Jackson was there, sitting on top of a horse that didn’t seem to want to be ridden. Blake stood in the doorway, watching as Jackson hunkered down on the big red gelding. The horse never fully bucked, but he hunched a few times and walked stiff-legged like he had every intention of sending his rider flying. Jackson wasn’t one to give up, though. He stuck it out, and eventually the horse relaxed into a somewhat easy walk.
That’s when Blake stepped out of the shadows and walked around the back side of the chutes they used for bucking bulls.
Jackson rode up to the gate and dismounted. The horse shook like a wet dog and backed away from his rider. Jackson opened the gate and led the horse out.
“What brings you out here?” Jackson headed toward the exit door.
“I guess I live here for now. Shouldn’t you be at home with your family?”
“Jade and Madeline went shopping. Mom has the little guy.”
Noah, the baby Jackson and Maddie had adopted, was a cute kid. Recently they’d learned he might have siblings in Texas, placed in a group home.
“You still looking into Noah’s brother and sister?” Blake wanted to talk about something other than his own family situation. Jana and Lindsey back in his life had been the thing he’d wanted most, or at least he’d wanted his daughter back. Now it was all about getting used to having them around again.
For years he’d been trying to get used to not having them.
For years Jackson had been the Cooper who didn’t seem to have any interest in settling down, and now he had a wife, a daughter and son and maybe more kids on the way.
Jackson cross-tied the gelding and proceeded to unsaddle him. He gave Blake a quick look. “We’re going down at the end of the month to meet them. They were in foster care, but the foster parents weren’t interested in adopting and it’s hard to place siblings.”
“How old are they?” Blake picked up the saddle and carried it in the tack room. When he walked back out, Jackson was brushing the horse.
“Six and seven. The mom lost them when they were toddlers.”
“That’s rough.”
“Yeah, it is. Jade is all for adding to our family. Maddie is thrilled.” Jackson’s daughter, Jade, was adopted right after he and Maddie married. She’d showed up on Jackson’s doorstep a couple of years ago, looking for her dad and thinking Jackson was the guy.
Blake guessed she’d been right.
“How are you feeling?” Blake asked, happy to focus on someone else’s family life. “About adopting more kids.”
Jackson grinned. “Pretty good. What about you? Why are you over here and not at your place?”
“I think you know the answer to that question.” Blake stretched his legs and watched Jackson lead the horse down the aisle to a stall. “Where’d that horse come from?”
“I’m training him for a doctor in Oklahoma City.”
“Nice horse.”
“Yeah, not bad.” Jackson closed the stall door and headed back to the bench where Blake still sat. “So, how does it feel to have them back?”
“It’s good. Maybe it’s not the way I planned, but I’m glad they’re here. I’m glad Lindsey is here. She’s going to have a rough road ahead of her.”
“You have to give Jana some credit for bringing her back.”
“Do I?”
“She risked a lot. For all she knew, you’d have the cops here waiting to arrest her.”
“That’s true.”
“What do you plan on doing?”
“I’m going to take it one day at a time, and make sure Lindsey gets the care she needs.”
Jackson shot him a look, shaking his head. “Yeah, that’s a given. I mean what are you going to do about the ex-wife?”
“Get along with her for the sake of our daughter.”
Jackson stood and glanced down at Blake, not smiling. “I hate to say this, since you’re supposed to be older and wiser, but I think you’ve lost it if you think you’re going to have an amicable but distant relationship with Jana.”
“That’s the only relationship I want with her.”
“Right.” Jackson pulled truck keys out of his pocket. “I’m heading home. I promised Maddie that I’d put something on the grill.”
“I think I’ll crash out here tonight.”
“You can come over to my place for burgers. I think the folks have a dinner in Grove, some charity thing.”
Blake pushed himself to his feet. The two of them started toward the door. “I need to spend time with Teddy. I think I’ll pick him up and take him to the Mad Cow.”
The Mad Cow was the local diner, the only diner, in Dawson. The owner, Vera, made the best coconut cream pie. Blake could use a piece of that pie right about now.
“Right. Teddy. How will you fit him into your life, now that Lindsey is back?” Jackson asked.
“I think she’ll understand. He’s five, and I can’t walk out on him.”
“True.” Jackson adjusted his hat and slipped on a pair of sunglasses. “Have you talked to our little brother lately?”
Blake didn’t have to ask. He knew Jackson meant Dylan.
“A few days ago. I told him I’d help them with the guardianship papers.”
“Do you really think he should do this?”
Blake didn’t have a clue what other people should do with their lives. He was barely figuring out his own.
“He’s determined, and he feels like he’s the only one who can take Katrina’s kids, should the worst happen.”
“Well, let’s pray the worst doesn’t.” Jackson sighed. “Are you going back to the office anytime soon?”
“I went for a few hours the other day. Most of what I’m working on I can do from here.” Work was the last thing he wanted to think about right now.
“I’d offer to help, but since I’m not the family lawyer I doubt I’d do more than mess things up.”
Blake laughed at that. “I’d like to send you into court for me.”
“I’ll leave the arguing up to you.” Jackson climbed in his truck. “I know you’re the guy used to making the hard decisions. Take your time on this one.”
“On what?”
“On Jana. The jury is still out, Blake. I don’t think I’d be too quick to find her guilty.”
“Thanks for putting it in terms I can understand.”
Jackson laughed an easy laugh. “I do try to help. Later, big brother.”
Blake watched the truck ease down the drive and then he headed for the house—the big, brick Georgian that he’d been raised in, he and eleven other Cooper kids, plus a few foster children. His parents knew how to fill a house with kids and with love.
They’d always said love didn’t run out. There was enough to go around. He thought they’d used the same lecture about forgiveness. Over the years he’d convinced himself he’d forgiven Jana. Now, with her back and living in his house, he wasn’t so sure.
Maybe forgiving Jana was something he’d have to work on. In the past few days there were other feelings cropping up he thought he’d let go of years ago. Those feelings made him a little more edgy.
When he got to the house he called Lisa, Teddy’s mom and asked if Teddy could join him for dinner. He arranged to pick up the little boy in an hour. That gave him time to look for some paperwork in the office.
As he pushed through papers on the desk, he remembered something. He opened the filing cabinet.
Inside he found the manila envelope and poured the contents on the desk. Memor
ies caught in snapshots of a marriage that had ended too soon. His baby girl smiled up at him, her face round and healthy, her eyes bright with laughter. She’d always been laughing. A few of the pictures were of Jana.
There were pictures of her before Lindsey. Jana with blond hair and laughing blue eyes. There was also their wedding photograph that used to hang in the living room. His heart shifted, forcing him to remember how much he’d loved her. He picked up a few pictures of Jana and Lindsey, lifting them close to study. The air hung heavy in the room, waiting for the air conditioner to kick on. He reached to turn on the lamp, needing to see more clearly.
There was something in those pictures of Jana that he hadn’t noticed before.
Sadness.
But why? What had happened to her in those few short years that had changed her from that smiling young woman he’d fallen in love with to the woman with the haunted blue eyes who had left him.
And why hadn’t he noticed then? Had he been too young, too happy, so her unhappiness took him by surprise when she tried to tell him? He’d brushed it off, ignored her quiet plea for help.
He didn’t want to let her off the hook that easily. She’d taken their daughter and left the country. His life had been on hold for ten years. He hadn’t tried to move on and find someone else. He’d spent ten years searching for Lindsey and being angry with Jana.
He slid the pictures back in the envelope. A letter had gotten mixed in with them. He picked it up, recognizing the return address as that of the divorce lawyer he’d used when Jana left. All of those years ago he’d signed for the letter and then tossed it in a box without opening it. He hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the finality of the divorce. Even now he didn’t want to read it. He shoved it in his pocket and instead of returning the manila envelope of photographs to the cabinet, he carried them with him from the room. Lindsey would like to see the pictures, he was sure.
His stomach rumbled, reminding him of a strong need for Vera’s coconut cream pie. He also remembered Teddy. The little boy would be waiting for him on the front steps of his house, the way he always did when Blake was coming to pick him up.
* * *
Jana stepped out of the car at the Mad Cow. It hadn’t changed at all. Same block building painted with black-and-white splotches like a Holstein cow. Same parking lot filled with a variety of cars and trucks. It was Friday and the special was cashew chicken.
“This is a restaurant?” Lindsey stepped next to her, a little pale and hazel eyes big as she looked around.
“This is it.” Jana’s legs shook a little at the thought of going inside. People might recognize her. They might say something.
Eventually she had to face it. She was going to be here a long, long time. Lindsey’s hand slipped into hers. Did Lindsey recognize that her mother might not be at her most confident?
“I’m hungry.” Lindsey said it with conviction. “So, are we going in?”
“We’re going in.”
They walked across the gravel parking lot, holding hands. For a moment they were mother and daughter the way they had been a year ago. Before their world had started to fall apart. Before Jana had been forced to face her past and drag her daughter with her.
Because the past had been their only hope. This town, Blake, the Coopers. This was their future.
The cowbell hanging over the door clanged, announcing their arrival. The restaurant was crowded. People watched them as they walked into the diner, a few whispered, most went back to their meals. Jana scanned the dining area looking for an empty table. She hadn’t counted on this, on the Mad Cow being so busy they couldn’t get a table.
A waitress headed their way. She was tall and had long blondish-brown hair that was held back in a ponytail. Jana didn’t know her. And from her smile, it was obvious she didn’t know who Jana was.
“Just a minute and we’ll get you ladies a table,” she offered with a smile. Her name tag said Breezy.
Jana smiled and started to respond, but someone in the far corner called out to Breezy, telling her that Jana could join them. Lindsey was already heading toward the table filled with Coopers. Blake’s sister Sophie, her husband, Keeton West, and their little girl, Lucy.
“I guess we’ll sit with Sophie.” Jana smiled up at Breezy.
“Sounds like a perfect plan. I was being optimistic thinking we could get you a table anytime soon.” Breezy grabbed menus and followed her to the table.
Lindsey was already sitting next to the baby, Lucy. That left Jana sitting next to Keeton and across from Sophie.
“Thank you for letting us sit with you.” Jana took the menu from Breezy and smiled at Sophie. “It’s so busy.”
“Always. Vera’s the best cook around and the only restaurant in town.”
“I hadn’t really thought about it when we left the house.”
Sophie moved her glass for Breezy to refill her water. “Is everything okay at Blake’s? Do you need anything?”
“We’re getting settled, and your mom left us plenty of food.”
Sophie smiled at that. “Mom thinks of everything. And I’m glad she has you to focus on for a while. I’m due at the end of July and she’s been hovering over me like a helicopter.”
Jana didn’t know what to say. Her parents had been older, adopting her when they were both nearly fifty. She’d lost them both before she graduated from college. In the past week Angie Cooper had been a blessing to Jana and Lindsey. She’d been there for them every step of the way.
She only wished she’d known years ago that she could talk to her mother-in-law. Angie would have understood the depression. She could have helped.
Water under the bridge, of course. Jana had to stop looking back or she’d get stuck in the mistakes of the past.
“I didn’t mean to sound as if I’m complaining.” Sophie’s hand covered Jana’s. “I’m so fortunate, and Mom is always there for us. She’s so glad you’re back.”
“So am I.” The words came out easily. “And I’m so glad Lindsey will have your family around her. She needs aunts, uncles and cousins.”
Keeton laughed, “She’ll have plenty. More than she can handle.”
The cowbells clanged again. Sophie’s eyes widened, so Jana shifted to see who had walked through the door. Of course it was Blake. He stepped inside, taking off his black cowboy hat as he did. And he wasn’t alone. The little boy next to him wore a matching miniature cowboy hat. Jana swallowed, waiting, knowing she didn’t have the right to ask for explanations.
When Blake spotted her, his smile dissolved. He glanced past her to their daughter.
Lindsey stood, nearly knocking over her chair. She didn’t seem at all upset by the presence of the child at Blake’s side. Instead she smiled big. “Daddy.”
It came so easily. Her smile. Her love for him. His love for her. Jana watched as he crossed the room to their daughter’s side. He wrapped her in a hug, the little boy, blond with big green eyes watched them together. Blake borrowed chairs from a table next to theirs. One for him and one for the child.
“I didn’t expect to see you out tonight. I could have given you a ride.” He smiled at Lindsey, but his statement was directed at Jana.
The buzz of conversation in the restaurant quieted as people around them tried to listen in. Jana reached for her coffee, needing something to occupy hands that trembled. In time people would get tired of talking about them, about her. There would be new gossip. That’s how it worked in a small town. She knew that.
Of course, she’d been giving them something to talk about for a long time.
“It was a last-minute decision.” She sipped her coffee, not really tasting it.
Breezy reappeared with another menu, a child’s menu and crayons. She put the paper and the crayons in front of the little boy, who didn’t seem at all bothered by the group of people
around him.
“What will we have tonight, Blake?” Breezy went around the table taking orders. When she got to Teddy, she ruffled his hair. “And my friend, Teddy?”
“I’m having chicken strips and fries, but I need some for my mom and sister, too.” The boy, Teddy, picked up crayons and started to color the dinosaur picture on the menu.
Breezy looked at Blake, her pen poised above the order pad. He nodded. “Make sure we have two orders of chicken strips to go when we leave.”
“Got it.” She squatted in front of Teddy. “And Vera said kids’ meals get sundaes tonight, if you eat most of your food.”
“Most?” He grinned at her, a big smile that lit up his little face. Jana’s heart took a dive, because she could see that a kid like Teddy would be easy to get attached to.
“Yes.” Breezy stood, patted his head again and was off to place their order and refill drinks.
“How are you feeling?” Sophie asked her brother after the waitress left.
“Almost as good as new.” He smiled as he said it, winking at Lindsey who grinned.
Jana listened, waiting for someone to mention the little boy and his place in her ex-husband’s life. Why in the world should she be jealous? She’d left. Blake still had a life here. He had family. He had this little boy named Teddy.
“I went out and saw my pony after you left.” Lindsey broke into the conversation, her smile huge. “He’s tiny.”
“Yes, he is.” Blake leaned toward her. “But he’s still strong. He pulls a cart.”
“Do you think...?”
“No!” Jana hadn’t meant to blurt it out. She bit down on her lip and shrugged when all eyes turned in her direction. “I’m sorry. You can’t ride, Lindsey. You’ll have to be careful.”
Lindsey looked away. “I won’t be able to do anything.”
“That isn’t true. We’ll find things you can do. For now, though, we want you healthy.” Blake used a dad tone of voice that sounded as if he’d been talking to his daughter her whole life.
A fresh pang of guilt washed over Jana. Lindsey could have had a dad who would have taught her things, laughed with her. Jana’s own father had been a distracted businessman who never had the time or patience for a child.
Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited FamilyThe Forest Ranger's ReturnMommy Wanted Page 6
