Avery puts up his hand, stopping me in my tracks, “I think . . . I’m going to let Lou pack up some food for you guys, and I’m going to head upstairs for a bit.”
Oh thank, God, and I try to close the gap between us, “Yes, let’s talk upstairs - “
“No, Riley. I’m going upstairs alone. I need - I need some time here.” His reply floors me, and I freeze as his words crash into me, almost knocking me over,
Screw it, I don’t even care if my Dad sees me crying, or hears my desperate pleas. I don’t even care if anybody else in this house, sees me begging on my knees. I can’t, I won’t, spend another night without him. If he doesn’t want to mate me, fine. If he wants me to stay in the corner, and not touch him, or hold him, or kiss him, then fuck it, I will. But I can’t be without him, “Please Avery, just let me explain.”
It’s as if my desperation isn’t even registering with him. He’s closed his mind to anything I might be trying to offer right now, and his tone is almost flat in comparison to the emotions in mine, “Riley, I just need some time please. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I’m so shocked, that when he turns to head upstairs via the second stairs in the kitchen, I stand there for a second, trying to understand how the pull of our mating bond is even allowing him to leave the room. When I fear that my knees might just buckle underneath me, I feel my Dad’s arms wrap around my waist. He’s trying to hold me steady, but all I can think is that he’s the one who caused this in the first place. When he looks down at me, all I can do is glare back at him. My tears stop at the edges of my eyes, and instead, seething anger replaces all reason, “Are you happy now?”
Chapter. 21 – Avery
My eyes feel puffy from crying all night. I don’t care if my brothers had seen me, or not, or even made fun of me. I cried from the realizations, I cried from missing Riley, and I cried because I wasn’t holding her and having to spend another night without her. I know it’s crazy how much I miss her, because it’s only the third day, but I can’t help it. I crave her, I’m desperate for her touch, her love.
But I’m not ready to talk to her yet.
My pride has been wounded, and like any wounded animal, I’m whining in the corner, and trying to lick my wounds.
I don’t really know what to say, or how to convince her - or anybody else - that we belong together, when she herself isn’t sure about my abilities. I don’t really believe in them either, but somehow it stings worse realizing she doesn’t. It cuts far too deep, and until I know how to fix this, I just need to keep busy.
I have another meeting with the Johnson’s, and since I was able to get their paperwork done yesterday before dinner, I feel better about heading into town. Everything feels so different now though. Before her, math was about my only real solace. The numbers never change, the equations are always fool proof. It was the one steadfast thing in my life, and I found it strangely comforting. Now though, I feel sluggish heading into the meeting, not excited at all to talk about any of it. My attentions are elsewhere . . . but I still have a job to do.
On the bus ride over, I tell myself to keep it in check just long enough for the meeting. Grin and bear it, for just an hour. Get through it, and then I can go home, and climb back in bed. The longer I’m not in bed, the more of a mistake I realize I made by even getting out of it in the first place.
But I’m here now, so I might as well go ahead.
Stepping into the old building, I can hear my shoes clicking against the tile, and sure enough I see the Johnson’s around the corner. Mr. Johnson is helping his wife stand at the table, that they found towards the back. They greet me so warmly, that I can’t help but smile back at them, though I don’t think it quite reaches my eyes, “Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, I’ve got the documents prepared, and thank you for being so patient about it.”
I put the briefcase on the table, snap open the buckles, and begin to set up the prepared papers. Usually by now, they begin to chat me up, just about anything but the finances, and when they continue to remain silent, I know something is different. Curiosity peaked, I look up and see them staring at me. Seemingly unsure about something. But before I can ask what’s going on, Mrs. Johnson speaks up first, “Avery - there’s something different about you.”
Yeah, I almost got laid, is the immediate response that comes to mind, but I close my mouth, making sure I wouldn’t dare say that to an elderly couple. My silence doesn’t seem to change the subject though, and before I know it, Mrs. Johnson walks around the table - and sniffs me, actually sniffs me!
“You smell different - like lilacs and honey. Are you mated?”
I feel like my eyes must be bugging out of my head! I’m practically frozen in shock by her words, until Mr. Johnson rounds the table, as if he’s about to sniff me, too. I’m so utterly confused, and I fear my voice just went up a whole octave, “Excuse me?”
Mr. Johnson pulls his wife a step back, and looks me over, as if I might just pass out. And to be honest, I feel like I just might. When he begins to explain that he and his wife are pureblood werewolves, I feel my knees buckling, and I reach for the nearest chair to collapse in. Mrs. Johnson looks like she’s about to rush over to help me, but Mr. Johnson keeps a firm hand planted on her shoulders. Obviously realizing I’m about to lose it, before either Mrs. Johnson, or I, do, “Has the whole world gone insane?! How many werewolves are in this town - does everyone realize I’m a half breed?”
Mrs. Johnson blubbers a little, probably because I’ve never some much as raised my voice in front of her, and now she has no idea what to say to me. While Mr. Johnson takes the lead, and gives me a grin, “We didn’t realize you didn’t know about us. And it’s only a small pack in this area, just a handful beside us, and the Connolly’s. Mr. Connolly is the Beta, and our Alpha lives across town, mostly keeping an eye for the rogue ones that like to roam around here.”
Just mentioning Riley’s dad, brings back the pain in my chest, and I try to focus on anything else, so I can still find a way to make it through this meeting. But I still have some questions. When the Johnson’s take their seats across from me, I lean in, curious as to why they picked me to be their accountant, “Is that why you hired me, because my Mom was a werewolf?”
Mrs. Johnson answers immediately, “Yes, we did know your mom -”
I wince, and it doesn’t seem to go unnoticed by either of them, so Mr. Johnson finishes his wife thought, “But we hired you because you’re the most educated accountant in the area, and you run our books well. Nothing more, nothing less.”
I should just accept the compliment, and move on. Get through this meeting, and get back to my bed already. But all I can seem to retain about their words, is that bit about my mother, “You knew my mom?”
Mrs. Johnson doesn’t hold back, “Yes - but don’t give her any more thought Avery, she doesn’t deserve it for the way she left her litter behind.”
Somehow, her words don’t cut as deep as I would have expected, but I can’t seem to help myself. It’s like I’m a glutton for punishment, and I respond in a sullen voice, barely above a whisper, “I just figured it was because we were halfbreeds.”
Mrs. Johnson reaches across the table, and pats my wrist, “If that’s what she told your father, then that’s just an excuse, because no real mother who loves her children would just abandon them.”
It’s interesting how much her words comfort me, and yet, somehow not enough, “You haven’t seen her then?”
She retracts her hand, back to her lap, “Not in over twenty years, and I don’t care, to - and you shouldn’t either. She’s not worth the effort.”
Maybe she has a point.
Besides, there’s a new woman to take up all my thoughts. A woman who actually wants to be in my life. Now I just have to convince everyone that I deserve her.
After the appointment, I walk deliberately slow to the bus stop, as if I half expect Savannah to try to run me over again. That somehow I’ll end up behind Riley and it will all be oka
y in the end.
As if, I tell myself, refusing to dwell on such an unrealistic plan of action. I need to come up with something better, to earn a spot at her family’s table. Something better, than a random chance encounter of an accident. I just don’t know how. And with that realization, that I’m no closer to a viable idea that will earn me her good graces, I begrudgingly step onto the bus, and head back home.
After about a fifteen minute ride, I pay my fare, and walk the two blocks to my house, and spot the all too familiar scene in our driveway: my brothers working on an engine. This one is Mr. Roberts’, from down the street. They manage to get some mechanical work every month or so, and have at least enough of a side business going to earn some extra income.
Between the three of us, we divide and conquer. Liam still works for Haley’s Dad, on his farm on the other side of town. And Lou, helps, too. I have my accounting business of course, and once we pool all that money, plus the mechanical work together, we usually have enough for bills, upkeep of the homestead, and a little for everyone to put into savings. I feel comfortable assuming that the only reason Liam has pulled away from Haley for this long, is because he’d like some extra cash for the baby. I’m happy to donate some of my earnings from today, as a baby gift . . . “Hi Liam. Lou.”
I nod my head over to them, and out of sheer habit, they merely nod back, having stopped a long time ago of asking me to come over to help them. But remembering my conversation with Lou yesterday, I break habit (even though my bed is desperately calling to me). When I reach them, Liam looks up at me, genuinely surprised, “Need something, Avery?”
I shake my head, because really I’m not sure what I think I could help with. I know nothing about what they’re doing, but for some reason, I don’t want to be alone. Just not yet. And somehow, I think since we all know what’s bothering me, I don’t really feel the need to explain it. I’m done brooding upstairs for the moment. Time to be a little raw, since according to Lou, they actually want me around. Emotions, and all . . . “I guess, I just can’t believe that they don’t think I could protect her if need be.”
Lou nods his head, seemingly getting angrier right before my eyes, as I guess memories from last night’s dinner swirl around in his head. But Liam, remains surprisingly levelheaded, and twists another bolt loose to join the others by his shoes, “Well about last night, what’s done is done - but really, if you ask me, I think the solution is simple,” Liam stops twisting the wrench, and looks up at me, as if I should already know where he is going with this. And then he smirks, “Prove it to them.”
I scoff, then chuckle nervously, “What are you talking about? Fight all the werewolves at the festival?”
Lou seems to have caught on to what our brother is meaning, and chimes in, “No, prove it to her Dad, and then make sure you guys are mated before the festival.”
I look between the two of them, and am unsure of what exactly they mean, of how I’m supposed to prove anything . . . how can I make her Dad believe in me, and how exactly is that going to change anyone’s opinions? And then, like a lightbulb going off above my head, I realize what I have to do.
And I waste no time.
Chapter. 22 – Riley
As soon as we got back home last night, my Dad and I couldn’t contain our anger and frustration anymore. It didn’t matter that Savannah gave it her best effort, there was no way to mediate this. Short of physically attacking him, nothing else was going to help. But I would never do that, so instead, I phased into my wolf form, and ran as fast and far away as I could. I knew that Avery would probably still be mad, and I honestly circled around Sleepy Eye twice before I found my way back to his homestead, but we both must have known I would have eventually.
This would be the first time he’d see me in my true form. A half beast, a large wolf, almost as black as my hair. I wouldn’t usually toot my own horn, but I’ve been told I look quite captivating in my supernatural state, and there was a part of me that thought I’d be able to get him to talk to me, if I stood at the bottom of that bay window and begged him to.
Obviously I couldn’t step out from the trees, in case a rogue human drove by, but he must have sensed me nearby, because the light from his room - hidden by the curtains drawn - were pulled back just enough for us to lock eyes across the distance. I stood there, peeking out just enough from the tree line to step into the moonlight, but safe from any peering eyes from the road. I had hoped he’d come down, and we could talk, and I’d shift back, naked, and we’d finally cement this bond between us.
But instead, he let the curtain fall back into place, and though a sliver of hope still rang (me naively thinking he was about to come down), all hope was lost, when he turned off the light, and I realized he was more stubborn than I ever gave him credit for.
I stood there for a moment, still in shock, processing whether any mate, had ever denied another. I wasn’t angry, I was hurt, and the emotional pain I was feeling - the anger towards my father, the indifference of the rest of the pack (the lack of pride they displayed when my father shared with the pack that I was mating a half breed, instead of a pure blood), just all the frustrations of the past two days, boiled over and I howled into the air . . . and then ran away as fast as I could.
I didn’t get home for another two hours, and by then, Savannah was waiting outside for me, with a robe to wrap me in. Neither of us said anything, as she merely wrapped me in the cloth, and then led me inside. The house was dark, and I assume my Dad was sleeping. Either way, no more words were said, and I slid into my bed, passing out from exhaustion.
This morning, I tried calling Avery twice, the first time the phone rang forever, and the second time, Lou answered and babbled something about Avery being at a meeting for his accounting job, and I asked if he’d pass along the message that I called. He agreed, but that was hours ago, and now it’s after lunch and I’m fighting the urge to run back to his house and make a fool of myself.
I wish I knew what to do.
Savannah does everything she can to console me, and at one point even suggests calling him herself, but I don’t want to involve her like that - fighting my battles for me. But dammit, why is this even a battle? I want Avery, I can’t live without him anymore, and I’m miserable at the idea of him even just being mad at me, much less entertain the thought he might never talk to me again. I can fix this, I know I can, I just need to get him to come around.
When I call a third time, it’s Liam that picks up, explaining that Avery had a talk with them, and then he left. And that was three hours ago. Great, I think. For a lack of anything better to say, I thank Liam . . . and then hang up, because what else can I do? I just want to find him, and somehow convince him, that even though he might not be able to protect me as well as I can him, that doesn’t mean that I don’t think we can’t protect each other. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel safe, taken care, and loved when I’m with him. And all those things, far outweigh any scenario where I might be a damsel in distress, because seriously, I’m a female werewolf. Not too many things that go bump in the night are going to cross me. This isn’t even something we have to worry about. It’s so rare to have any monsters battle each other, much less of the same breeding, and no one messes with mates. So the only battle left for us, is him realizing I don’t think less of him if he can’t stand up to a werewolf. Because it doesn’t matter to me, and maybe eventually I can convince him that it shouldn’t matter to him either.
I feel like I’m starting to go crazy. I know for most people, a few hours away from the person they love is no big deal, and that it’s even healthy. But I’m a werewolf, having found my mate, and we haven’t mated yet. The need for him, inside of me, feels mounting. A huge pressure ready to boil over, begging to get out. Only he can relieve this tension inside every muscle of my very being. Whether he’ll talk to me or not, doesn’t even matter anymore. I’m going to go insane just crying in my room, I need to go find him.
Determined, I practically stomp through t
he house, beginning to feel my skin tingle, ready to shift as soon as I open the front door. I’m going to run on all fours, all way to his house, and if I have to rip off the door to his bedroom myself, I will. I can’t wait a minute longer, pacing around this house. I’m ready to do whatever it takes, because at the end of the day - he’s mine.
With the wind from the door opening, the smell of vanilla and sandalwood almost knocks me off my feet, and I stand there shocked, when I look directly into Avery’s eyes. I can barely stutter his name, before he reaches for me, and I instantly cling to him. Feeling the hot tears of relief seeping out of me, I pull myself deeper into his embrace, so grateful that he came. So, so grateful.
Chapter. 23 – Avery
As soon as she lunges at me, I close my eyes in relief. I don’t know how she knew I was coming, before I even rang the bell, but I am so grateful that she wasn’t too mad. At least not enough to hold back her affections. I dip my face into her hair and smell her now all too familiar, all too comforting, intoxicating scent. I’m still in pain, but her scent brings me comfort. Within moments though, her arms tighten around my neck, and I wince a little from the discomfort. I thought I was doing a good enough job of holding back, but she senses something’s wrong, and demands to know the details with her concerned eyes. Her worry makes me feel bad, and I realize she’s only on edge because I took most of the day to figure out what I needed to do, and get it done.
Runt of the Litter (Halfbreed Chronicles Book 1) Page 10
