A Posy of Promises_a heartwarming story about life and love

by Sharon Dempsey

  ‘Hey come on, you know I’d be up for it if I weren’t friends with your mum, but really put yourself in my position. How can I work with her knowing? She would be furious if she had any idea I’d had sex with her precious son,’ said Ava trying to let him down gently and convince herself all over again that this was a bad idea. He was so attractive in the soft candlelight. His jawline had a light rough-to-the-touch shadow and his hair a shade of dirty fair, verging on butterscotch, was cut short.

  He lay back on the blanket, cocky and sure of himself again.

  ‘Don’t sweat it. I’ll say I brought home Mickey. She’ll be that pissed at the thought of me going out with Mickey again, that she’ll forgive me for using her bed.’

  Relief washed over Ava. Ben’s ex, the one with the ridiculous name. Yes, that would work. Hazel would be angry at Ben but she would be so relieved that Robert hadn’t been unfaithful that she wouldn’t be too cross. It was a perfect cover story. Somehow in her elation that it would all work out, Ava found herself leaning over to Ben and placing her lips on his.

  11

  It had been a couple of weeks since Ava had caught up with Niamh and she needed her company. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy seeing Ben, of course she did, but when they got together it inevitably ended up being all about tearing each other’s clothes off and being playful. Ava needed a bit of conversation. Number ninety-seven was a mess of building work and Maggie was a bit low, spending most of her days and nights sleeping or staring mournfully out of the window at the lawn. Ava needed to think of something other than electrics, plumbing, incontinence pads and ways to cheer Maggie up.

  Niamh was always the perfect antidote for worrying about yourself, she had enough drama for both of them.

  ‘So, tell me all about Ben,’ Niamh said helping herself to a fish cake and dipping it into the sweet chilli sauce. She was wearing her canary yellow silk kimono which she had bought when she was on location in Tokyo, the one and only time she had film work beyond Ireland.

  ‘There’s really nothing new to report. He’s lovely but it’s not going anywhere, and I know at some stage I’ll have to gently say goodbye but for now it’s fun, as long as Hazel doesn’t find out that is. I’d die of shame if she knew,’ Ava said, her cheeks colouring at the very thought of Hazel knowing what she’d got up to with her son the night before.

  ‘Hey, don’t sweat it. She’d probably be a lot cooler about it than you imagine,’ Niamh said dishing out more noodles onto her plate.

  ‘I’m not so sure. Ben is her blue-eyed boy. I can’t imagine she would approve of me corrupting him,’ said Ava finishing off her drink.

  Niamh snorted with laughter. ‘Sorry but I just can’t imagine you corrupting anyone, Miss Goody Two Shoes, who’s never done a bad, or dirty thing in her life.’

  ‘Oh, don’t be so sure,’ Ava said. ‘Maybe I have a secret kinky sex life you know nothing about. I could be into bondage and all sorts, for all you know.’

  ‘Ava Connors, I can’t believe you would even joke about having a life I know nothing about,’ Niamh said, filling up Ava’s glass with more wine.

  ‘So, how’s the house coming on?’

  ‘Slowly. Urgh, don’t talk to me about builders. What looks like a straightforward one-man job becomes a project needing twenty experts. Still, I know it isn’t really their fault. It’s just sometimes I wonder what the hell I’m doing. I took a mortgage out against it to cover the cost of the work, but it’s like a money pit.’

  ‘Oh, come on it will be fabulous when it’s finished. You are one lucky girl,’ Niamh said. Ava knew Niamh couldn’t wait for the house to be ready for her and Cal to launch their style makeover on it. They were surreptitiously working hard to dissuade Ava away from chintzy Laura Ashley prints and inferior William Morris wallpaper copies.

  Ava sipped her wine. ‘That’s if it ever gets finished, I’m running out of money fast. Who would have thought damp proofing could cost so much, and don’t get me started on the electrics.’

  ‘Still, what an inheritance. I wish someone would leave me a big house in Malone, whether it was in disrepair or not.’

  ‘Let’s not talk about the house. The speed at which it is drinking up money is depressing me. Cheer me up with some scandal,’ Ava said as The Killers playlist switched to The Script.

  Niamh grinned. ‘Now you mention it, I may have a piece of juicy gossip.’

  ‘Do tell. I’m all ears as long as it doesn’t involve Finlay.’

  ‘Don’t worry it’s nothing to do with Finlay Kane. Do you remember Colm Ferguson from school?’ She leaned in towards Ava, Niamh’s cropped pinky-blonde hair catching the light.

  ‘Who? Colm with the red hair who defied nature by still managing to be completely gorgeous? Wasn’t he a couple of years above us? Just about everyone fancied him.’

  Niamh nodded. ‘Yep the same one. I… sort of ran into him. A few times.’

  ‘When you say ran into him, do you mean ran him over before you jumped his sexy bones?’

  ‘Oh, you know me so well.’

  ‘Hang on a minute, didn’t he marry Carey Cunningham?’ Ava asked. Carey Cunningham had a reputation, probably unfounded, for her blowjobs when the rest of the girls in lower sixth where only starting to work out that there was no blow in blow job. Carey had the most gorgeous pillowy lips which had been deemed the blow-up doll pout, probably explaining how her reputation came to be.

  ‘Mmm. I heard something about it, but it can’t be a good marriage if he’s out playing with other women, namely moi.’

  ‘Oh Niamh, please don’t tell me you are shagging a married man again,’ Ava admonished. Sometimes she despaired of Niamh’s inability to play fairly. In Ava’s mind, married men were out of bounds. She wouldn’t even contemplate the thought of an affair, even if he were gorgeous looking.

  ‘Don’t go all judgemental on me. I really like him, Ava. What if this time it’s different?’ Niamh said, her voice suddenly low and quiet.

  ‘How can it possibly be different? He’s taken. End of. People will be hurt. You can’t just mess up someone’s life because you fancy their husband. Besides, if it feels so different that only means you are bound to wind up getting hurt as well.’

  Niamh cast her eyes down and sulked. She was chewing on her thumbnail looking like the injured party.

  ‘At least tell me he has no kids,’ Ava said wearily.

  Niamh mumbled something.

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘Just the one.’

  ‘Oh, Niamh no, please, you have to end this before it goes too far.’

  ‘I don’t think I can.’ She turned to Ava with her heavily made-up eyes brimming with unshed tears. ‘He phoned me earlier to say he thinks Carey might have found out about us.’

  Ava couldn’t explain Niamh’s fixation on wanting what she couldn’t have. She had jumped from one bad relationship to the other over the years and invariably ended up crying to Ava.

  ‘Look, maybe she hasn’t really found out and you can end it before anyone needs to get hurt. Please, Niamh, think about his child. There is someone out there for you who doesn’t have a wife and a family, hold out and stop finding yourself married men.’ Ava sighed. It was no use lecturing Niamh, she was a big girl and was capable of making her own choices. Besides, Ava didn’t feel so holier than thou when she thought of her relationship with Ben. He may not be married but she still felt that she was betraying Hazel by sleeping with her son.

  Then there was the whole issue of their age difference. It wasn’t as if she could even claim he was mature for his years. He liked video games, was addicted to his iPhone, loved to go clubbing, did the whole festival scene in the summer, and thought nothing of drinking Red Bull for breakfast to wash down a jammy doughnut.

  They were miles apart in so many ways yet she had to admit she liked him. More than liked him.

  For once, she didn’t feel morally superior to Niamh’s antics. Maybe they were both going to hell for their betrayals. />
  12

  ‘Hey, why so sad?’ asked Sister Lucy as Ava sat in the armchair watching Maggie sleep. ‘She’s only asleep you know. There’s been no change. The rest will do her good.’

  ‘Oh, I know. She’s strong and determined. I just hate seeing her like this.’ Ava brushed a tear from her cheek and took a deep breath to prevent her from sobbing all over poor Sister Lucy.

  The truth was, seeing Maggie like this reminded Ava that her gran was close to death and that thought was terrifying. It was as if death was sucking the very breath from her lungs, as Ava looked on, watching her slowly ebb away. She seemed as vulnerable and helpless as a newborn baby.

  ‘It’s just that she has always been there for me. She brought me up and I can’t imagine a time when she won’t be here. I know I haven’t had her for a while now, not really, but at least I can come here and chat to her, brush her hair or change the flowers and tidy her room.’

  ‘Death is the one inevitability of life, Ava. We all return to our Lord. But I know it won’t be easy for you. What about your mother, do you have any contact with her?’ Sister Lucy sat on the chair beside Ava, her long legs looking almost comically elegant.

  ‘No, but that’s something I’m hoping to rectify. I’ve asked my solicitor to try track her down.’

  ‘Maybe you’ll feel better to have her support. It would be good for Maggie to pass on knowing you have your mother in your life again.’

  ‘Oh, it’s difficult to know with Gran. I mean she never told me much about my mother. She buried all her worries and thoughts about her, and never shared any of it with me.’

  ‘But don’t you see? That was her way of protecting you from feeling any of the hurt or pain she may have felt herself. I’m not saying it was the right thing to do, just that sometimes we do the wrong thing for all the right reasons.’

  They sat in companionable silence for a few moments while Ava stroked Maggie’s hand. Her skin was tissue-paper thin, exposing the intricate network of violet blue veins, the joints twisted and gnarled by arthritis. Ava thought about the countless times she had held that hand crossing a road. How the same hands could deftly button up her school shirt in a few seconds and stroke her hair as a way of comforting her in the dead of the night when she had dreamt of something scary. How it could give her a whack across the back of her legs for doing something dangerous, and still tenderly bathe her in warm soapy water making sure to never let the suds touch Ava’s eyes.

  ‘Sister Lucy, can I ask you a personal question?’

  ‘In for a penny in for a pound, go on then, ask away.’

  ‘Do you ever regret always having to be so good and holy? That sounds awful, I mean having made the choice of giving your life to God, do you ever wonder what if?’

  ‘Oh child, no, not at all. My life was mapped out for me. I could no more become an astronaut than turn away from my calling. But if you’re asking me about being good, I’ll say this: good girls go to heaven, but bad girls, they go everywhere.’ She gave a little giggle and leapt up to leave the room, leaving Ava with a smile on her face.

  Ava: It arrived! My lil’ squid baby.

  Joseph: Ha ha. I thought you’d appreciate it. Saw it in a little shop on Lower Pacific Heights. It was full of strange stuffed toys. Couldn’t believe they actually had a squid. You’d love it in J-Town. It’s full of all sorts of weird knick-knacks and collectables.

  Ava: What’s J-Town?

  Joseph: A whole Japanese enclave. Great food and shops. I’ll take you there if I can ever persuade you to come visit me.

  Ava: Yeah, some day. You know I can’t leave Maggie at the minute. She’s not been great.

  Joseph: I know. No pressure, but the offer stands any time. I’ll even book you a ticket.

  Ava: Don’t tempt me. In the meantime, I’ll have to make do with my stuffed lil squid friend to keep me company.

  Joseph: Still no Finlay?

  Ava: Nope. I think it’s time I moved on, don’t you?

  Joseph: Yep. Someone out there will appreciate you.

  Ava: Here’s hoping. What about you? Anyone special?

  Nah. American girls are too high maintenance. They’re also a bit scary.

  Ava: Can’t be any worse than Niamh.

  Ha ha, she’d go down well here actually.

  Ava: Jaysus, can you imagine?

  Joseph: Sorry. Have to run. I’m on my lunch break which means I’m expected to mingle with my fellow geeks and be productive while I eat my wild rice and yellow fin tuna salad.

  Ava: Bet you’d love a good old Belfast bap with Tayto cheese and onion crisps and a piece of ham.

  Joseph: Sounds divine. Talk soon.

  Ava: Bye!

  13

  ‘Wow look at you!’ Cal exclaimed opening the door to Niamh’s apartment to let Ava in. She was wearing a new pair of skinny dark denim jeans with a tight royal blue T-shirt she had bought from a snazzy little boutique in town with a little black fitted waistcoat over the top. Her legs looked magically slender and longer thanks to the platform boots she had been unable to resist. But even more striking than the clothes was her new hairstyle. She had finally got around to having her hair coloured, a deep cherry red which suited her pale skin tone and made her violet blue eyes vibrant and sparkly.

  ‘Oh. My. God. You have finally got with the programme,’ screeched Niamh when she saw the new-look Ava.

  ‘Turn around, let me see.’

  Ava dutifully gave a twirl, relishing her friend’s approval. She had even invested in some Stila lip gloss, a Bobbi Brown bronzing cheeks and eyes compact, and some tinted moisturiser.

  ‘I’ve been telling you for years to dye your hair. It looks fantastic. Finlay Kane will be gutted he ever let you go,’ Niamh said.

  ‘This is not for Finlay’s benefit. It was just time for a change.’ Ava had decided that night she would tell Niamh and Cal the whole backstory about ninety-seven Mount Pleasant Square Square, the letter from Maggie, and the unsettling feeling she’d had ever since discovering that Scarlett had intended for her to be named Ruby instead of the boring Ava.

  Later, they caught up while Cal and Niamh practiced their arts of deception on Ava.

  ‘So, let me get this right. You told Ben it was a no-go and then jumped him right there and then on the floor of the old derelict house you’ve just inherited?’ Cal asked, his eyes wide.

  ‘More or less. I hadn’t planned it. It was just one of those mad moments,’ replied Ava, lying on the sofa while Niamh and Cal worked on her face. She was being their practice dummy to help them prep for a gory road accident commercial.

  ‘But, Ava, for as long as I’ve known you, you don’t tend to have moments of madness,’ reasoned Niamh, applying a thick layer of sticky glue to Ava’s cheek to hold the latex in place.

  ‘And your mother named you Ruby, but Maggie thought it would be too much like tempting fate to give you a name as glamorous as your mother’s?’ asked Cal.

  ‘Yeah, but you know, the strangest thing is that since I read the letter and began thinking about my mother, I’ve been feeling… well, different. Sort of more like a Ruby and less like an Ava, if that makes any sense.’

  ‘Stay still,’ Niamh said, applying blood red paint to the latex wound on Ava’s face.

  ‘Are we going to have to start calling you Ruby then?’ asked Cal, handing Niamh a thin rabbit-hair make-up brush so soft Ava could barely feel the strokes on her skin.

  ‘God, no. I am Ava. It’s just, I can’t explain it. It is as if there were two possible outcomes for me — one as Ava and one as Ruby.’

  ‘And Ruby is the one who has wild rampant sex with her boss’s son,’ said Niamh. ‘Jaysus and you think my life’s complicated!’

  ‘I just know that before the letter, I would have never allowed myself to even consider being with Ben once in a drunken stupor let alone to find myself in that position again.’

  ‘What position was that then, cradle snatcher?’ joked Cal. ‘On top, doggy style, over an
d under?’

  ‘Don’t! You are making me blush and it’ll clash with my new hair colour.’ Ava laughed. She felt light-hearted and playful, not her usual contained, calm self. It wasn’t that she usually didn’t do upbeat and fun, it was more that she was one of life’s flat-liners — those who neither experienced highs or lows but travelled through life feeling content and satisfied. Though lately she had to admit the fluttering of euphoria that she kept feeling were like little nuggets of pure rainbow sunshine. She didn’t want to be all Pollyanna about it, but even though she was worried about Maggie and the mounting bills for Mount Pleasant Square, life was full of unexpected surprises. Granted not all of them were nice, but still there was something to be said for needing digestive biscuits to appreciate chocolate ones. Ava had eaten enough digestives to do her a lifetime, it was time for her to dunk a big fat chocolaty biscuit into the mug of life.

  ‘So, what made you decide not to sell the house and pocket the money?’ asked Niamh, admiring the three-inch gash she had created across Ava’s face. ‘Here, Cal, photograph this for reference.’

  ‘I could have sold it, continued living in Moonstone Street, and even brought my gran out of the convent and employed a series of full time nurses, but you know what? I don’t think that Maggie would have been too happy with me if I’d done that. I know the nuns are looking after her well, and I’ve no guarantee that I’d find the right carers for her no matter how much I could pay them.’

  She sat up and looked at her refection in the mirror. Her face was transformed to resemble something out of a horrific crash. ‘Sister Lucy told me at the beginning, when Gran went into the home, that I had to respect her wishes for where she wanted to spend her remaining days. She didn’t want me to have to wipe her bum and clean the gunk out of her eyes every morning. She worked too hard all her life to feel that she was holding me back. So, I’ve sort of accepted it and you know what? For the first time ever, I feel, I dunno, reckless! Does that make any sense?’