Release Me

by Farrah Rochon

  “Why haven’t you bought a new battery for that cell phone?”

  Sienna opened her mouth and closed it. He had her there.

  “Besides the fact that I need to be able to get in touch with you, especially this week, there’s also the safety issue, Sienna. You know it isn’t safe for you to ride around this city without a cell phone. What if something happens?”

  “I’m going to get one today. I promise.”

  “I already did that,” Toby said, reaching into the right pocket of his slacks and coming out with a slim cartridge.

  Sienna was stunned, her heart melting right then and there. Forget flowers. Buying a girl a battery for her dead cell phone showed he cared more than a bunch of stupid roses any day of the week.

  “Thank you, Toby. I’ll write you a check to cover it.”

  He waved her off. “Just make sure you keep that thing charged.”

  “I will.” She tried to pry the old battery from the back of the phone, but it wouldn’t budge. “Don’t worry, if anything comes up with the show, you’ll be able to reach me.”

  “It’s not just about that, Sienna.” The huskiness in Toby’s voice caused the hairs on the back of her neck to rise. She slowly lifted her head, and the heated look in his eyes made her stomach pull tight. “I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he said.

  Her hands stilled, the phone hanging from her fingers by the tiny wrist cord. “You, ah, you don’t?” she managed to choke out.

  The corner of his mouth quirked, and he shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

  Toby rose from the chair and came around her desk. He stooped, resting on his haunches next to her chair. He slid the phone from her fingers, his intense stare still holding her captive.

  “In fact,” Toby continued in that hushed voice that caused tiny tingles to drizzle down her spine, “The thought of anything happening to you scares the hell out of me. I don’t know what I would do without you, Sienna.”

  Sienna tried to take a deep breath, but lost it somewhere in the middle of the act when she realized Toby was closing in. His eyes never wavered as he leaned forward and brushed her mouth with his lips.

  “Toby, what are you doing?” she breathed.

  He pulled back an inch, his gaze roaming over her face, that smirk still tipping up the corner of his mouth. “If you have to ask, then you really need to check out my porn collection.”

  Sienna was rendered speechless as Toby closed in again, connecting with her mouth. He gripped the armrest, his big body ensconcing her into the cave of the chair. Sienna relinquished her resistance, closing her eyes and falling in love with his kiss.

  It was pure ecstasy wrapped up in a bit of heaven. His tongue pushed through her closed lips, opening her mouth and delving into its depths. He captured her tongue and pulled it inside his mouth, sucking, licking, tasting.

  Devouring.

  She used to fantasize about how it would feel to have Toby’s mouth on hers, but not one of her imaginings could hold a candle to the real thing. His kiss was solid, yet gentle, the cadence setting a pace that sent tiny sparks shooting through her veins.

  Then she remembered where they were.

  She pulled back. “Toby, we can’t do this. Not here.”

  “Why not,” he breathed against her lips.

  “I’m at work,” she said, trying to catch her breath.

  “And?”

  “And it’s a conflict of interest.” Sienna finally pushed him away. “If anyone walks past that door, I’m off Aria’s account.” That got his attention. He finally rose and backed away, but he didn’t go far.

  “You kissed me,” she said softly, then repeated in an accusing tone, “You kissed me.”

  There was not even a hint of remorse on his face as he stared at her for a very long, very intense minute. His gaze captured hers, not letting go, even though Sienna wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and relive those few precious moments when his lips had danced with hers.

  Finally, Toby asked, “Are you sorry I did?”

  Sienna couldn’t summon an answer. For so long she’d dreamed that Toby would see her as more than just a friend, but the thought of becoming involved with any man scared her to death.

  “I should have kissed you a long time ago,” Toby said, running his fingers along her jaw. “But you’re right, we can’t do this here.”

  Finding her voice, Sienna tried to make him see reason. “We can’t do this at all, Toby.”

  “Yes, we can.” He reached for her again, but she pushed his hand away.

  “No, we cannot.”

  Panic rose in her throat. Sienna could feel her safety shield slipping away. Toby’s inaccessibility had been protection against facing the fears of intimacy that had plagued her since the attack all those years ago. To have her trusted excuse abruptly pulled from under her scared her stiff.

  “Sienna.” He captured her chin in his hand and raised her head. “You know there’s something happening between us. It’s been building for weeks. Don’t try to deny it,” he cut her off when she opened her mouth to do just that. “Before you get sloppy drunk again, you need to remember that alcohol loosens both the tongue and inhibitions.”

  “Oh, God.” Sienna knocked his hand away and dropped her head to her desk. “What did I do that night?” came her muffled cry.

  She heard Toby chuckle. “It was not as bad as you’re probably imagining, but you said enough for me to know that you’ve been thinking about this thing that’s been brewing between us.”

  “What is this thing, Toby?” she asked, honestly wanting to know what this attraction was doing to him. “Doesn’t this seem weird to you?”

  “Hell yeah, it’s weird. I’ve been more confused these past few weeks than you’ll ever know. Why do you think I’ve been fighting it all this time?” He took her hand again, bringing it to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on the crest of her fingers. “But I don’t want to fight it anymore, Cee Cee. Why don’t we just go with the flow and see where it takes us?”

  Even though she had been thinking about him this way almost her entire life, Sienna had never allowed herself to believe Toby would ever love her. If she had, she knew she would have run from him a long time ago.

  “What if it takes us nowhere?” Sienna whispered, looking at the hand he’d kissed as if it were foreign from her body.

  “In my experience, asking what if just sets you up for failure. Stop questioning it, and let’s just let it happen.”

  “Are you sure?”

  He nodded, a slow smile tipping up the corner of his mouth.

  Sienna didn’t know what to think. This was all happening too fast. Toby was her safeguard against relationships. They were never going to have one, and because of that, she never had to fear all the things that came with a normal relationship. Like intimacy.

  Sienna put her elbows on her desk and started massaging her temples.

  “What’s wrong? You look like you’re in pain,” Toby said.

  “I just don’t know about this,” she whispered.

  “Sienna.” He perched on the edge of her desk, bringing her closer to him. “I’m not saying we have to jump into bed. Nothing really has to change at all. We already see each other everyday, and we’ve gone out to dinner a couple of times like a regular dating couple. It’s just that now we can finally acknowledge this pull between us instead of doing a poor job of ignoring it.”

  “And if it doesn’t work out, we’re still friends, right?”

  He threw his head back and took a deep breath. “Would you get rid of that if word?” Lowering his head, Toby captured her hands and brought them to his lips again. “You will always be one of the most important people in my life. Always. Even over these past ten years when I hardly saw you, you were never far from my mind.”

  “As a friend,” Sienna reminded him. “Not in the way you’re speaking of now.”

  “True,” Toby agreed, “but that doesn’t matter. Friend or more than just a friend, y
ou never have to worry about losing me.”

  The well of emotion that had formed in her throat prevented Sienna from speaking. Instead, she nodded, praying the tears so close to the edge of her eyes would not spill over.

  Toby kissed her hand again. “What do you say to dinner before going to the Caesar’s Ghost performance tonight?”

  “Well, I’ve got to eat,” she replied in a shaky voice, trying to inject a bit of humor.

  “We’ll take this slow, okay? There’s no pressure. I just want to be able to kiss you when I feel the urge.”

  “Just try not to feel the urge in front of my boss,” Sienna giggled. Those tears were still on the brink of falling, were they due to happiness? Fear? Excitement?

  “I promise,” Toby said. “I’ll see you tonight.” Then he was gone.

  Sienna stared at the door Toby left partially opened, expecting the guy from Candid Camera to come bursting through any minute. That could not have just been real. Toby had kissed her, like a lover. He wanted to “see where things went between them.” He wanted a real relationship.

  Sienna sat at her desk, cradling her head in her hands as an old cliché resounded in her mind.

  Be careful what you wish for.

  ***

  Toby completely ignored the activity buzzing around him as he adjusted the tempo on the control panel. He had too much on his mind to worry about the cameras in his face.

  He’d kissed Sienna. And it had been good.

  Unbelievably good. She’d tasted like candy, sweet and forbidden. This entire thing seemed like it should be illegal, but why should it be? He and Sienna were both adults. They had the right to explore this new attraction. Forget that stuff about not being good enough for her. He would make himself good enough for her.

  He’d told her the absolute truth, he should have kissed her a long time ago. But he wouldn’t waste time lamenting over loss opportunities. His time was better spent figuring out what had Sienna so afraid at the thought of them together.

  Her reaction—or lack there of—had him stumped. Sure, the idea of them as an actual couple would take a little getting used to, but considering their history, going from best friends to lovers wasn’t all that much of a stretch. Sienna had acted as if he’d asked her to follow him off a cliff.

  What about all the stuff she’s said when flying high on apple martinis at the pool hall? Was he supposed to believe that was just drunken ramblings?

  “How’d that sound to you, Toby?” Savion’s voice coming through the headset catapulted him out of his daydreaming.

  “Sounds good,” Toby answered, although he hadn’t really been paying much attention to today’s session.

  Damn. He needed to get it together. This was not the time for him to lose focus.

  “Savion, any word on when the music download codes will be ready?” Toby asked, shutting down the digital sampler and removing the headset.

  “Mike said he’d bring them in around four o’clock.”

  “The school lets out at three-thirty!” Toby said.

  “Sorry, man. That’s what he said.”

  Toby groaned. There wasn’t much point to going out there without the codes. Sienna had suggested Aria do a promotional song giveaway at some of the biggest high schools in the New Orleans area. Toby had not thought twice about withdrawing a few thousand dollars from his bank account to add the special feature to the website he’d had built especially for the show. He’d had to pay an obscene amount of money to get the business card-size mailers printed on such short notice, especially since each had its own unique music download code, but it was worth it.

  Ivana’s roommate, Lilo, had done a slamming job at Aria’s photo shoot. Toby had a thousand eight by tens of the best shot made, with Aria autographing most of them between practice sessions. He doubted the footage of her signing hundreds of pictures would help with today’s internet votes, but it had to be done.

  “I’m hoping I can give the songs away,” Aria said, coming up next to him. “Wouldn’t it be embarrassing if people don’t even want a free song?”

  “Those little cards are going to become collector’s items in about a month,” Toby reassured her. “Stop doubting yourself. If you lack confidence in yourself, it’s going to come out in your performance.”

  “I’m just really nervous about tonight. I’m not used to performing to this kind of crowd.”

  He was a little edgy about it too, but no way would he let her see it.

  “They’re people. You’ve performed in front of people before, right?”

  “Yeah.” Aria smiled. “People are my usual crowd. Oh, hey Sienna.”

  Toby turned to find Sienna coming through the door burdened by a large box. “This was outside beside the door.”

  Toby rushed over, relieving her of the package.

  “Is it the codes?” Savion asked.

  Toby nodded. “Thanks for coming over,” he said to Sienna. She didn’t try to avoid eye contact, which was a good thing. But she didn’t give any indication that she was on board with what they had discussed earlier, which did not bode well.

  “How’s it going?” she asked Aria, who was autographing more pictures. Sienna picked one up. “These came out really good. We need to do one of those beauty sessions again soon.”

  “That was fun. You should join us next time, Toby,” Aria suggested. “They had a lot of men there.”

  “I’m not the pedicure type,” Toby said.

  “You don’t know what you’re missing,” Sienna said with a blissful sigh. “There’s nothing better than having someone massage your feet.”

  And so she was not ignoring him. Add that to the plus column.

  “Are we ready to give away some free music downloads?” Sienna asked.

  “I am,” Aria answered.

  “Let’s do it,” Toby said.

  He followed Sienna and Aria, with the camera crew bringing up the rear. Toby was relieved the two women were actually becoming friends. He’d gotten the impression that Sienna did not care all that much for Aria in the beginning, but it the last few weeks she’d warmed up to her. That belonged in the plus column, too. He wanted his girlfriend and client to get along.

  Toby shook his head. This was the first time he’d actually put the girlfriend label on Sienna. He was probably being presumptuous, since she still had not given him a clear answer to what he’d suggested. But he was persuasive as hell when it came to getting something he wanted. He would convince her to give the concept of the two of them being together a try. Alex was going to get a kick out of it.

  Toby groaned. He was not up for the “I told you so” speech from his older brother. Alex would rub it in until he was hearing the phrase in his sleep.

  Now Mama? She would be ecstatic.

  He needed to stop by tonight. He had been so busy that he’d skipped Sunday dinner and hadn’t had a chance to call in a couple of days. But now that he thought about it, Mama hadn’t called him either. And he had not had the chance to question her about Sylvia Culpepper not seeing her at Bible study.

  Toby parked in an abandoned lot behind the school.

  “Good, the school hasn’t let out yet,” he called as Sienna and Aria exited Sienna’s car. They headed for the bus stop, getting everything in place only minutes before the school bell rang.

  The students swarmed around like bees at a honey pot, snatching up autographed pictures and music download codes like they were hundred dollar bills. And Aria thought she wouldn’t be able to give them away. People loved free stuff.

  “This is great, Toby,” Sienna whispered as they stood to the side and watched Aria work the crowd. She was taking the time to personalize the photographs, and autograph the cards that held the download codes. A couple of the kids took pictures of her with their camera phones.

  And the Week in the Life cameras were catching it all.

  “She looks like a seasoned artist,” Sienna commented. “And you know what’s even better, a lot of the kids already knew wh
o she was. That says a lot.”

  “How hard do you think it would be to set up a free concert at the high school?”

  “I was thinking that very thing. I’m going to talk to the principal right now.”

  “What would I do without you?” he asked.

  Moments passed before she answered, “That’s something you don’t have to worry about.” She started for the school, but Toby stopped her, grabbing her shoulder.

  “What are you saying, Sienna?”

  She hesitated, bit her lip. When she looked up at him, her eyes were uncertain, but still held a bit of resolve. “That I’m willing to give it a try. I have no idea what this is going to look like, but I want to give us a chance.”

  It took everything he had not to snatch her in his arms and kiss her right in the middle of the street, but professional decorum had to be observed during daylight hours. Tonight, however, would be a different story.

  “By the way, you’re taking me to Arnaud’s for dinner tonight, so bring lots of money.” She smiled before heading for the school.

  Toby chuckled, shaking his head. He wasn’t sure what this new relationship was going to look like either, but as he watched her walk away, he was eager to see where it led.

  Once they were done at the school, Toby headed back into the studio for a few hours then to the ridiculously overpriced penthouse he’d rented for the week to shower and get ready for his first official date with Sienna. He left a half-hour early so he could stop in at Mama’s.

  Toby pulled in behind Monica’s light green Honda in his mother’s driveway. He walked around back to the porch that led to the kitchen. Monica and Jasmine were at the kitchen table with an orange and gray monstrosity of clay, a bottle of vinegar, and baking soda.

  “Let me guess, it’s Science project time,” Toby said by way of greeting.

  “Hey Uncle Toby,” Jasmine said, then went right back to painting the side of the clay mountain with orange-red paint.

  “Hi there,” Monica said. She got up from the table, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

  “How’d you get roped into building a volcano?” Toby asked, kissing her on the cheek.