Making Me Sane (Sanity Book 2)

by Lindsay Paige

  Positive.

  A sharp gasp leaves me. This is too much all at once. I hurry to shove the test back in the box, which goes back in the bag, and back into my purse. I come out of the bathroom, relieved when I don’t see Trace in the bedroom yet. I put my purse in its usual spot and sit on my side of the bed after taking my pills.

  Suddenly, I’m terrified of telling Trace. Tears fall down my cheeks. I don’t think he’d be upset, but the last time kids were even discussed, he said he might want them. His answer was maybe. So he could get upset, but I don’t think so. I’m terrified because I feel like there is tension between us because of whatever he’s doing and since I don’t know what that something is, I don’t know what this kind of news will do to us.

  Footsteps sound down the hall, getting closer and closer to the bedroom. I wipe my eyes with a sniff and crawl under the sheets. A few minutes later, Trace climbs in next to me. He pulls me against him. His arm locks around my waist, resting against my stomach.

  “You know I love you, don’t you?” he asks, kissing the back of my head.

  “Yeah, and I love you too.”

  “Then why were you trying to hide that you were crying?”

  Damn it. I didn’t think he caught me. “I’m just stressed out.”

  Trace turns me around to face him. “Let’s go out Friday and try to de-stress you.”

  “You’re not going to forget about me?”

  “No. I’m sorry I did today.” He starts to gently place kisses all over my face. “I wasn’t paying attention when you asked to think about the meeting. I keep thinking about you waiting on me and having to eat alone and I feel like shit. Do you forgive me? Can I make it up to you?” By now he’s making his way down my neck.

  “Yes, I forgive you, but no, you can’t.”

  He pulls back to look at me.

  “It’s been a long day, and I don’t feel like it,” I whisper.

  He kisses my forehead, leaves his lips there, so they move against my skin when he speaks, repeating some of what he’s told me before when I’ve needed reassurance. “I love, want, cherish, need, and trust you. We’re in this for the long haul. There’s not a chance in hell you could get rid of me because you make me sane. You are mine, and I am yours. Got it?”

  “Yeah, I got it.”

  My new plan is to go to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy and then I’ll tell him. I feel better with Trace’s words. He holds me and everything feels normal as I fall asleep.

  But then Trace leaves early the next morning and says he’ll be home late. It’s like that night didn’t happen at all and I’m back to square one. My anxiety is getting higher with my pending doctor’s appointment. Melissa knows something is up and she’s dying for me to tell her, but I’m not. Not until I know for sure at least.

  “Brittany?”

  I jump up when the nurse calls my name. I squeeze my wrist as I explain why I’m here, while I answer their questions, while they do the test, and while I wait for the results. Then, the doctor comes into the room.

  “How are you doing today?” she asks.

  “Fine. Am I pregnant?” I blurt out.

  She smiles. “Yes, you are. I’m estimating about six, maybe seven, weeks along. We’ll get you scheduled for an appointment with your OBGYN, and she’ll take care of you from there.”

  She keeps talking, but I zone out.

  I’m pregnant.

  I’m pregnant.

  I’m pregnant.

  “I need to go,” I blurt out. I need to find Trace, make him tell me what is going on, so I can tell him the news. My doctor seems surprised by my outburst, but she hurries things along. I rush out of the room and into the waiting room.

  “Brittany.”

  I whirl around to find that I walked right passed Melissa. “What are you doing here?”

  “You’re a hard woman to find. You didn’t tell anyone you had a doctor’s appointment.”

  I frown. “Since when do I have to? What are you doing here?”

  “We have plans today.”

  “What? No, we don’t. I have to go see Trace before I go back to work.”

  “No, you don’t. You have the day off.”

  “What?”

  “I guess there was some sort of miscommunication between you and your boss, because she told me you had the day off since you had a doctor’s appointment.”

  I stare at her. Was there a miscommunication? I thought I was clear that I’d come in once I was done. Maybe not. But why does Melissa also have a day off?

  “Come on. Let’s go.” She hooks her arm inside mine and walks me outside to my car.

  “Where’s your car?”

  “Ben dropped me off. Mine is messing up. I’ll drive; you seem rattled.”

  “Where are we going?” I ask once we get in the car. It feels weird to be in my own car and not driving. “I need to see Trace. I have to ask him what’s been going on. I need to know. I need to do it today.” Hysteria starts to build with my panic attack.

  “Oh, I’m sure he’s innocent, whatever it is,” she casually says.

  “Take me to his office, Melissa, or I’ll scream bloody murder until you do. I don’t have time for whatever you have planned.”

  “Will you just chill?”

  “No,” I shriek.

  “Why? You’ve been quiet this long. What difference is a few more hours going to make?”

  “Because I’m pregnant!” I blurt out. Melissa pulls off to the side of the road to look at me with shock and tears start to stream down my face. “That’s why I had a doctor’s appointment. I need to find out what’s going on because last time me and Trace talked about if he wanted kids, he said maybe. Now, there’s a baby inside of me and I don’t even know what the fuck is going on with my boyfriend. I have to see him.”

  “You’re pregnant?”

  I nod.

  “Aw. I get to be Aunt Melissa, right?”

  I laugh. “Yeah, you can be Aunt Melissa. But you have to drive me to Trace. I’m going crazy not knowing what the hell Trace is doing. I don’t believe it’s bad, but there is something going on that he’s keeping from me and I have to know.”

  “Okay. Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and calm down. We’ll go see Trace.”

  “Thank you.”

  I do as she told me because I don’t need to be in hysterics when I see him. We need to make this a calm conversation. Whether I like it or not, I should probably brace myself for something bad, just in case.

  But when I open my eyes, we’re on the campus of the university that I attended.

  “What are we doing here?”

  “It’s a surprise.”

  I groan. “All I asked for is my boyfriend and instead, you bring me here for some surprise?”

  “Just come with me.”

  We’re parked by my old dorm hall. We walk down the sidewalk as a wave of nausea hits me. Crap. I may need to puke before whatever surprise she has in store for me.

  Then I see Trace. He’s wearing a tux with a grin on his face. What in the world? I glance at Melissa, who smiles.

  “Go see him.”

  She stays behind as I close the distance between Trace and me. He looks good. I’ve never seen him look this good. The tux he wore at Melissa and Ben’s wedding has nothing on this one, which looks as if it was tailor-made for him.

  “Hey,” he says when I come to a stop.

  “Hey.”

  “You didn’t tell me you had a doctor’s appointment,” he says with a frown.

  “You haven’t told me what you’ve been up to to work through lunches and come home late either.”

  He ignores what I said. “Are you okay?”

  “I will be once you tell me what’s going on.”

  “Hey, don’t cry, Britt,” he whispers, taking a step closer to me and wiping away my tears with his thumbs.

  “I can’t help it. You’re freaking me out.”

  “All I’ve been doing is planning and organizing today.”r />
  “I still don’t understand.”

  He kisses my forehead before dropping down to one knee.

  Oh. My. God.

  “Britt,” he begins.

  “Wait,” I blurt out. “You can’t.”

  His eyebrows pull together and he frowns with his confusion. “What?”

  “I need to tell you something first. It’s why I had my doctor’s appointment.”

  Trace stands back up, concern in his eyes. “You’re not okay? What’s wrong? What happened?” He cups my face and turns my face left and right as if that will reveal some clue.

  I laugh and grab his wrists. “I’m pregnant, Trace.”

  His eyes widen. “Really?” He grins. Before I can answer, he kisses me hard. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “I’m excited about the baby, and we’ll celebrate later, but today is about us. Can I get back to what I was doing?”

  I nod and he drops down to one knee again. Trace takes my hands in his. He leans forward to kiss my stomach and then looks up at me.

  “First of all, I’m sorry I’ve caused you to stress out over my behavior. It was all to prepare for today. I love you more than life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to experience all the joys, all the badness, all the ups and downs, and everything else with you. You’ve completely changed my life and it truly started right here. We’ve had good days and bad days. We’ve made mistakes. We’ve hurt one another. But we’ve always loved each other, learned from our mistakes, and would do anything for one another. You are the person I am meant to spend my life with.” Trace pulls a little black box from his pocket and opens it to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. “Will you do me the pleasure of becoming my wife and mother to our children, so I can love you for as long as I live?”

  My throat is tight from crying, so all I can do is nod. My hand is perfectly still as he slides the ring onto my finger. Trace stands and presses his lips to mine. I’m lost in his kiss, nearly ready to climb up his body, when I yank away from him and rush to a nearby trash can to puke. I hear Trace laugh before he comes to help me me hold my hair.

  Once I’m done, he pulls me into his arms.

  “How far along are you?”

  “Six or seven weeks, she said. I go see an OBGYN in a couple of weeks.”

  “Can I ask something else of you?”

  “Sure.” I pull back to look at him.

  “Marry me today. Let’s go to the courthouse and get our marriage license.”

  “Today?”

  “Yeah. Why wait?”

  “Because my parents aren’t here, Trace, and I want a wedding.”

  He grabs my shoulders like he’s going to give me a good talking to, but he turns me around. I burst into tears at seeing Clark, Amy, Mom, Dad, Ben, and Melissa, who is now wearing a dress. Mom’s wedding dress is laid over her arms.

  “There’s your parents, my parents, and our best friends, and a wedding is waiting to happen once we leave the courthouse. I had a lot to plan, Brittany, but it’s all up to you.” He turns me to face him again. “So, what do you say? Want to marry me today?”

  She said yes.

  She cried as she hugged everyone. She cried while we were at the courthouse. She cried while she was getting her hair, nails, and makeup done. I could hear her crying when she went into the bathroom to put on her mother’s dress, which ended up fitting her as perfectly as her mother said it would. I shed a tear when I see her, which in turn makes her cry some more. And when we get to a beautiful rose garden in the area, she cries when she sees all the red roses in the altar that was made.

  “I’m sorry,” she says while we wait because the minister is late.

  I wipe away some of her stray tears. “Why?”

  “Because I was seriously getting pissed at you and was extremely worried because you were keeping something from me and I didn’t know what. Please, no more surprises.”

  I laugh. “Okay. No more. And no apology is needed. I need to ask you something, though.”

  “What?”

  “You remember how I killed two birds with one stone by making my romantic date that I owed you also what we did for Valentine’s Day?”

  She nods. “Yes, you can use your trip to Italy as our honeymoon.”

  I grin. “I promise a second, third, and maybe fourth honeymoon in exchange.”

  “Even better.”

  “I’m here, I’m here,” the minister says as he walks toward us.

  About fucking time. Probably not the best thing to think in the presence of a minister, but I’m ready to marry my girl.

  “I’ll see you in a minute. Any last words as my girlfriend?”

  “I’m ready to be your wife,” she smiles.

  “Good last words. I’m ready to be your husband.”

  “Then go.” She pushes me to follow after the minister to take my place.

  I take my place next to the minister. Soft music plays as my dad walks Amy and Jane down the aisle and to the four seats. Ben and Melissa come next. Ray whispers something to Brittany that makes her cry again. He wipes her tears away and then she’s coming toward me. Her mother’s dress is beautiful. It’s amazing that Jane was right. She said Brittany is about the same size she was, so it should fit her. I hope we have a girl, so the tradition can continue.

  I still can’t believe she’s pregnant. Since everyone saw her puke, she went ahead and shared the news. Almost everyone was crying then. We could have a small pond of tears at this point. Ray gives her away and I lift her veil. Let me just say it was easier than I expected to get Ray on board. I guess after we were there at the beach with them, after he had his talk with me, I was back on his good side. He asked me then to be honest, tell him my intentions, and how things were going between us. He wanted to hear my side of things after Brittany called for that heart to heart. I guess he wanted to make sure he gave her the right advice.

  Brittany smiles as we hold hands. The minister starts the ceremony immediately. We don’t need anything exaggerated or drawn out. I’m not listening to him anyway. I have an ear out for my cue, but in the meantime, I’m drinking in the sight of my wife. I can hear the clicks of the photographer and the sniffles of our guests.

  Then, I’m given my cue. “I’ve already told you that I love, want, cherish, need, and trust you. Today, I’m promising to love, want, cherish, need, and trust you from this day forward. I promise to never plan a big surprise again. I promise to make sure you know I’m always going to be here for you and I’ll do anything for you. I promise to be yours. I promise to treat you better than the way you deserve to be treated. I promise to be a great father to our kids. I promise to be a husband who makes mistakes, apologizes, works hard, talks to you, who makes sure you know you’re loved, holds you on the bad days, and celebrates the little things as well as the big. You are the love of my life, and I can’t imagine life without you, Britt.”

  She’s crying again, so I wipe away her tears.

  With a laugh, she says, “I’m so overwhelmed by everything you’ve done today, my mind is blank.” She takes a deep breath. “Give me a second.”

  “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Brittany smiles and slowly inhales and exhales. “You are easily the best thing to ever happen to me. We’ve struggled, but I’m oddly thankful for that because we’re so much better individually and together. You take care of me. You hold me. You’re perfect for me, and I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.” She pauses before laughing and shaking her head. “Sorry, I just thought about the baby and hoped he or she won’t be too big since you’re so tall.”

  My dad snorts. “Good luck. He was long and nearly ten pounds.”

  “Oh gosh. Okay. Sorry,” she tells me. Her hands are trembling a bit in mine and I give them a good squeeze of reassurance. “You’re the love of my life, Trace. So, I promise to love, want, need, cherish, and trust you. I promise to listen when you talk to me. I promise to always b
e here for you. I promise to be your wife from this day forward. I promise to do my best, talk to you, be a good mother to our kids, to lie with you in the recliner on good days as well as bad, to always fight for myself, for you, for our kids, and for us. I promise to be with you and love you for as long as I live.”

  “Do you, Trace Lexington, take Brittany Rogers to be your lawfully wedded wife?” the minister asks.

  “I do.”

  She slides the ring I picked out for myself onto my finger.

  “Do you, Brittany Rogers, take Trace Lexington to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

  “I do.”

  I add a wedding band to the ring on her finger.

  “Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

  I dip my head and press my lips to Brittany’s as she wraps her arms around my neck. “I love you,” I mutter.

  “I love you, too,” she whispers.

  “You’re my wife.”

  She grins. “You’re my husband.”

  “We’re going to be parents.”

  “Yes, we are.”

  “Kiss me. I’m not sure this is real.”

  Brittany laughs, kisses my cheek for fun, and faces our families and friends. My father steps up to her after her parents have hugged her.

  “I never apologized for my behavior the last time we met. I’m sorry. I hope we’ll have better times ahead of us.”

  “Of course,” she says. “We’ll have plenty of time to create better memories over Thanksgiving.”

  He hugs her, whispers something in her ear, and she starts crying again.

  “Okay,” Melissa speaks up. “Can we all stop making the poor girl cry?”

  “Yes, please,” Brittany agrees. “And I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten since this morning.”

  Everyone, all at once it seems, talks about how the pregnant lady definitely needs to eat. We don’t have to wait for photos to be taken because since the minister was late, we took photos then.

  “How do fried pickles sound?” I ask her.

  She grins and then frowns. “As long as I can keep the nausea at bay, we’ll be fine. Can we change first?” Brittany turns to her mother. “I love your dress, Mom, but I need something more functional.”

  “Whatever you want,” I say. “We’ll stop by the house to change and then go.”