Journey's End

by LJ Maas

  “Gabrielle, what is your greatest desire?” I asked, thinking I was phrasing this badly.

  “My Lord?”

  “A wish. If you could have anything you wanted, what would it be?”

  I expected her answer to be her freedom. Could there be anything a slave would desire more? Again, my small slave gave me the answer I never expected.

  “To be able to write my stories. I mean, to be able to have the time and the supplies to put down all the stories I have in my head, on scrolls, for others to read.”

  “Very interesting. Can you read and write?”

  “Oh, yes, My Lord.” She answered and I thought I heard a bit of accomplishment in her voice.

  “Rather impressive.” I added, knowing that few slaves were ever given the opportunity to learn to read and write.

  “Do you think a master is going to let a slave spend her days in this fashion?” I questioned. I wanted to see how strong her desire for this was.

  “Perhaps... ” she began in a small voice, “perhaps if I was very good... and very obedient.” She let the sentence trail off; realizing, I am sure, that the dream was completely out of reach for her.

  That’s when it struck me. Perhaps this is why the small blonde’s demeanor was as submissive as any slave I ever saw, why she accepted anything that befell her, and why she performed any task that was commanded of her, without question. Perhaps she was hoping that if she were subservient enough, some master would take pity on her and allow her to write her stories. What an odd desire for a slave to have.

  “So, this is what you would choose above all else, eh?”

  Gabrielle nodded her head and I don’t even know how or why the thought entered my head, but it seemed terribly important for me to be the one to make this young slave’s wish become reality.

  “I don’t think that should be too difficult a task for us to fulfill once we return home.”

  I said the word home as if it meant something more to me than simply a palace that I ruled from. Certainly, it seemed to feel like more now. Perhaps it was being away for so long, but possibly, it had something to do with the young woman who walked beside me.

  Gabrielle bowed her head, but suddenly, her gait seemed lighter, and if it wasn’t really a smile on her face, it came awfully close.

  “My Lord?” she asked.

  “Yes, Gabrielle?” I continued on, without looking down.

  “May I have permission to ask a question of you?”

  I smiled inside. “You may.”

  She hesitated for a moment, and then looked as if she decided to throw caution to the wind.

  “What do you wish for?”

  The question she asked surprised me every bit as much as her reply to my own query. Of course, I could have answered in a multitude of ways, but standing here, with this young woman by my side, I could think of only one thing I truly wished for.

  I stopped and looked down on the slave, tilting her chin up to look directly in my eyes. She always seemed unable to do this, but she came very close this time, her eyes shifting nervously under my direct gaze.

  “I wish that someday, you will touch me because you want to, Gabrielle, and not because you are commanded to do so.”

  Turnabout is fair play, and as I released her chin and turned to continue walking, I knew that my answer surprised her for a change.

  CHAPTER 4

  A CONQUEROR’S FIRST KISS

  IT WOULD BE another two candlemarks before the sun set, but when we came upon the site for our camp, the tents were already erected and the cooking fires properly stoked. The wagons and workers always scouted ahead and I commended Atrius on his choice for the campsite.

  I strode into the tent and immediately felt at home, much more so than in Telamon’s castle. As was my habit, I set up the same style of tent and requested the same interior arrangements for well over 20 seasons. Everything was as it should be and I yawned and stretched. I knew that if I felt tired after a day in the saddle, my young slave was probably ready to drop. Gabrielle impressed me, however, when she removed her own cloak and began to assist me in removing my clothes.

  Once in my favorite silk robe, I sat back in one of my more comfortable chairs and enjoyed the goblet of wine Gabrielle set before me. I thought it strange that she should be so strangely intuitive of my needs considering that she only started serving me yesterday.

  “My Lord... um, may I... ” she asked, pointing out of the tent.

  “Of course.” I said, rising as she wrapped her cloak around her shoulders once again. I took my signet broach from the neck of my own cloak and clasped it in place at Gabrielle’s throat. “This will assure that none of my soldiers get too carried away. If you have any trouble, you come directly to me.”

  The thought of Gabrielle with another, by either force or her own will, left me feeling angry all of a sudden. A vision of Gabrielle with another filled my brain, and the visualization caused my jealousy to flare. This was the monster that I have tried for so many seasons to keep at bay. I’m afraid Gabrielle was about to get her first taste of my possessiveness.

  I took her chin between my thumb and forefinger and looked her in the eye. “Let me make this clear, Gabrielle. You belong to me. No one is to make free with either your body or your affection. If I ever find this to be the case, you will forfeit your life on the end of my blade. Do you understand me, girl?”

  She nodded her head, and I could literally feel the unexpected fear that swiftly spread through her. I hadn’t meant to speak so harshly, nor let my jealousy get away from me like that. It was important to me, for a reason that I couldn’t yet fathom, not to have Gabrielle fear me, yet here in only one day, my demon jumped up to make itself known.

  I softened a touch, smiling down at her, and then touched my hand to her cheek. “I’m sure you will never give me cause for such an act.”

  As an apology, it was weak, but then again, you have to understand that apologies were not my strong suit. That’s an incredible understatement. The truth is, I have never used the words ‘I’m sorry’ in my life, certainly never since I came of age. I have committed acts against even those people who held faith in me. I have killed men for the thrill it gave me to have their blood on my blade and beaten women who shared my bed, simply for the feeling of domination and power that I equated with sexual pleasure. Some of those unfortunates were even people I had a modicum of interest or trust in. There were times when I would feel badly afterwards and would offer a gift or kind words in apology, and even though I felt at times like I wanted to say the words, they never came. It was bending, and a Conqueror never bends. I knew of no emotion, nor person, that could possess that kind of power over me, to bring me to my knees in such a manner.

  I looked down at the frightened creature in my hold and knew that if I would only say I was sorry for my previous statement, we might share a different relationship than that of merely slave and master. I sadly wondered where my life would be right now, had I used those words more often.

  “Go.” I whispered, and she left the tent quickly.

  * * *

  “Come here, Gabrielle.” I called to her from where she stood, preparing my clothes for tomorrow. If the girl continued to be so efficient, she and Sylla would soon have words. I sat on the edge of the makeshift bed, watching as she gracefully moved toward me.

  “How may I serve you, My Lord” she responded, kneeling before me.

  I took her hands in my own and placed them on the tops of my thighs, the long silk robe I wore covering most of my body. The heat from her palms seeped through the silk covering, and I spread my legs, drawing her kneeling form in closer. I examined the small hands that felt smooth compared to my own rough and callused palms. Everyone knew that a slave with skin this soft and smooth, carried out their duties on their back. I had an urge to do something and I felt lacking in courage. Me, the nation’s Conqueror, one time Destroyer of Nations, losing my nerve in front of this small slave.

  For some unknown reas
on I wanted to kiss her. Yet, even more, I wanted to be kissed by her.

  Now, of course, I knew what kissing was, but it wasn’t something I ever did with women. Oh, I’ve attacked a woman’s mouth, driven by lust. Using my teeth and my tongue, I’ve showed them who was in command of their pleasure, but that wasn’t really kissing, was it? It wasn’t the tender caress the poets say we should yearn for. It wasn’t the innocent token that I’d seen exchanged by a pair of young lovers who found that my private gardens made a suitable trysting place. I would watch from high above them, from my bedroom window that looked down into the garden. I knew, even as I witnessed the sight, that what I had in the past was different from this. What I experienced in my life might satisfy a certain primal urge, but it never caused excitement in my heart, or a fire in my loins. I knew that such a thing existed, but for the Lord Conqueror, it had yet to be.

  And so, I sat there, the ruler of all Greece, a most talented concubine at my feet, and all my head was filled with were a schoolboy’s visions of a gentle kiss. I swallowed my pride and my fear of humiliation and decided to ask for what I wanted. After all, she was here to serve me, and not the other way around. It would be many seasons down the road before I would realize how arrogant that statement was.

  “Gabrielle, do you kiss?” I asked, unable to come up with a more definitive question.

  “My Lord?” she looked confused, and with every reason.

  “Kissing... have you kissed the masters that owned you before me?”

  “Yes, if it pleased them, My Lord.”

  Gabrielle was not a stupid woman by any stretch of the imagination. If she were, she would have been killed long before now. I believe she knew what I was asking, and perhaps she even guessed why, I can’t be sure. I know one thing, however, and that was that the look in her eye changed suddenly, and it was apparent, to even her, that she now held the power between us.

  There were times in the past when that happened to me. Times when I gave in to my feelings of pleasure, so much so, that the woman or the whore thought they held me captive with their wiles. In those days, power came above all else, even my need for pleasure. If I ever saw that gleam in their eye, I would stop whatever they were doing to me and let the beast in me loose. It never mattered to me if it was consensual. By the time I finished taking them and showing them who really held the power, they never wanted to return to my bed. In those days, inflicting pain seemed the only way to show someone that you were stronger than they were, that you were above them.

  “Were you... are you good at it?” I asked rather inanely.

  I watched as that same faint glimmer entered Gabrielle’s eye, but this time I simply didn’t care.

  “Perhaps My Lord would care to judge that for herself?” Gabrielle responded, stringing together more words than she’d ever spoken before, at one time.

  “Yes.” I replied, as every one of the nerve endings along my spine sparked at the same time.

  “Kiss me Gabrielle.” I rasped in a rather breathless voice.

  She slid her hands up, across my thighs until they rested against my hips. Pulling herself up to her knees, she reached up and kissed me, gently at first. Her lips pressed against my own and I enjoyed the feeling of the smooth, warm skin. This was what I supposed those lovers felt when they embraced. She kissed me again, a slow lingering caress and I was helpless to even respond. I was frozen in place, my emotions running away from me in ten different directions at once.

  I kept telling myself I’d been kissed before, but when Gabrielle reached out the tip of her pink tongue and ran it along my bottom lip, enveloping my mouth in an incredibly passionate touch, I felt like a virgin. I placed a hand on each side of her head and pulled her closer to me, allowing her tongue to explore my mouth, relishing in the very taste of her. The small blonde’s mouth swallowed up my moans and, as usual, Gabrielle never made a sound.

  Reluctantly pulling away for air, my heart pounded, almost painfully, within my chest. I noticed that at least, my young slave’s face was flushed with desire. She may have had to please this way thousands of times, but this time, it looked as though she was not completely unaffected.

  I shrugged out of my robe and settled myself onto the bed, stretching my nude body along the length of the mattress.

  “Come here, Gabrielle, and kiss me.” I commanded, and she let her robe fall to the floor, laying her body along my own.

  My hands wanted to feel every bit of her body at once, and I pulled her snugly against me, between my open legs, simply to feel the softness of her skin where it touched mine. The things her tongue was doing inside my mouth, caused a raging river to flow from my aroused sex, and I was soaking wet in record time.

  I’ve kissed women during sex before, rough animalistic sex, a coupling for power or position. In the last few seasons, I sought to have sex only out of need or for release. I realized that I couldn’t even remember the last time I had sex with anyone simply for pleasure; that is until Gabrielle. These kisses were not hungry and raw; they were gentle and passionate, filled with an easy sensual quality. When I glanced up sometime later, the candle appeared to have burned halfway down. We’d been doing nothing beyond light touching and kissing for over two candlemarks. It was at that moment that I remembered something Delia said to me once. It made no sense at the time, but clarity in a darkened room is dependent on how close to the candle you are. Her words seemed like those of an oracle at this very moment. She told me that all I needed was to be kissed, thoroughly, and by someone who knew what they were doing. I made a mental note, reminding myself to tell my cook that she finally got her wish.

  My legs trembled and my body was desperately ready for a release.

  I took Gabrielle’s small hand and placed it between the drenched folds of my own sex, letting her fingers begin to work their magic. Just when I thought the night couldn’t become any more embarrassing for me, I came with a loud groan after perhaps only three strokes against the sensitive flesh. I was much more than ready and now I did indeed feel like that clumsy schoolboy.

  “Gods!” I groaned aloud, trying desperately to regain command of my trembling limbs. My climax snuck up on me and overwhelmed my senses before I was prepared for it.

  Then Gabrielle did something that I never expected from a slave. As I leaned over the small blonde, my body lying more on her than the bed and my forehead resting on her shoulder, my muscles still quivering over the intensity of my own climax, I felt her hand on my back. She gently stroked the skin, rubbing her palm in small circles along the muscles there.

  I had an urge to touch her just then, this young slave who seemed to know all my secrets, but whom I knew would take them to her death. I lifted my head and initiated a kiss, which may have aroused me more than she. As our tongues teased, first in one mouth, then in another, I slipped my hand between her legs. She was nearly as wet as I and although she might try to deny her pleasure in my bed, her body spoke for itself. I made myself go slow, purposefully using light strokes against that silky flesh. Not a sound came from her throat, but as I rubbed my own center along her thigh, her legs spread wider in apparent invitation.

  It took everything in me not to drive my hand into her and claim what was mine. That rush of heady power mixed with the adrenaline of impending orgasm, caused my mind to revert back to a time when sex was raw and fierce to me, a time when my release was explosive in its force. I held back the might that wanted to take and forced myself to give. I controlled my touch and restricted my hand to those relentless, easy strokes, never even entering her. I slowed my own hip’s movements to that of a slow, sensual grind, and could begin to feel Gabrielle’s heart race a little faster, her breathing grow a little more out of control.

  Her submissive silence persisted, however, and I never heard one sound, not a moan nor a cry, uttered from her throat. If not for the moment that her hand clenched down on my shoulder and the tiny convulsive movements of her hips, I would never have known of her release. I left my hand there, the p
alm covering the dampness of her mound as I thrust myself against her leg, once, twice, and midway through the third stoke I came with quite a verbal cry.

  Slowly lifting myself off the small frame below me, I reached down to place a kiss on the damp forehead. Falling to the other side of the bed, I held out my hand and quickly grabbed Gabrielle’s wrist to prevent her from leaving my bed. She had a habit of kneeling at the end of my bed after she’d pleasured me, to either await my next command or be dismissed. I wanted more from my slave on this night and instead of putting a voice to me need, I did what I’ve done all my life; I simply made it so.

  “Stay here, Gabrielle.” I ordered, pulling her body against mine.

  I pulled the blanket up over the both of us and enclosed the young woman in my arms. I kissed her once more, just as she kissed me earlier. I’m not sure why, mostly because it felt good, and very right. Gabrielle settled herself against my shoulder with a look on her face that told me she had no idea what was going on. That seemed only fair, since I didn’t either. I was by far the strongest woman in all of Greece, the most feared warrior. I knew only that on this night, I became something more than the Lord Conqueror. I couldn’t yet put a name to it, or the emotions that continued to rage through me, but it was different. This was all very different.

  CHAPTER 5

  GABRIELLE SPEAKS

  BY THE TIME WE reached Corinth, my young slave and I reached a certain degree of familiarity with one another. Nevertheless, Gabrielle continued to look rather astounded at some of my unorthodox requests. I could tell that she still wasn’t comfortable sleeping the night with me after seeing to her duty of my pleasure. I only knew that it felt good to me and so I continued on. Of course, it was acceptable for that to occur while we traveled, since we shared one tent. I knew that once we were settled in the palace, I would have to learn to sleep alone once more. Like a frightened child, I tried not to think of the coming night.