Happy Birthday, Mr Darcy

by Victoria Connelly

  ‘It’s all so beautiful!’ Roberta gushed as she looked around the room. She was wearing a shell-pink dress with a matching bonnet. ‘I do so love lilies!’

  Mrs Soames, wearing a brilliant striped emerald and silver gown, huffed and shook her head. ‘Messy flowers. The pollen drops everywhere and stains. I prefer a nice sensible chrysanthemum. You know where you are with a chrysanthemum.’

  ‘I don’t think you can beat roses,’ Doris Norris said. She was wearing a dress the colour of bluebells which was edged with gold around the neckline and sleeves.

  ‘Well, I’ve always been partial to a rose, it has to be said,’ Rose said with a smile. She was wearing a dazzling sunshine-yellow dress with puffed sleeves and a very elegant pair of long gloves.

  ‘Thorns,’ Mrs Soames said. ‘A chrysanthemum won’t cut you to shreds.’

  Doris caught Roberta’s eye and they exchanged knowing smiles. Mrs Soames, it seemed, even found something to complain about when it came to flowers.

  ‘Shouldn’t something have happened by now?’ Rose said a moment later.

  Mrs Soames looked at her watch. ‘By my calculation, the groom should be standing at the top of the aisle.’

  ‘Where is he, then?’ Rose asked, looking around. ‘Do you think anything’s wrong?’

  ‘Knowing this place,’ Mrs Soames said, ‘something will have gone wrong!’

  Warwick and Dan were running down the driveway towards the stable block.

  ‘I think I know where the ring could be,’ Dan said. ‘I got in a tussle with a woman from the village in one of the stables.’

  ‘What?’ Warwick cried from behind him.

  ‘She just launched herself at me,’ Dan said. ‘It was dreadful. She wanted riding lessons for herself and her daughter. Well, I thought she did. Turns out she probably just wanted a roll in the hay.’

  They arrived at the stable where the incident had taken place and the two men started to scour the floor.

  ‘So, this is the scene of the crime?’ Warwick said.

  ‘There’s nothing going on,’ Dan told him.

  ‘It’s okay – I believe you. Thousands wouldn’t mind!’

  ‘No. I think Robyn might be one of them. She walked in on us.’

  ‘Oh, lord!’ Warwick said.

  ‘This isn’t turning out to be my day,’ Dan said.

  They continued hunting around the stable, gently poking and kicking around in the straw.

  ‘Watch your trousers,’ Dan said when he saw Warwick bending down.

  ‘Katherine will kill me if I get married looking like a scarecrow. She’s expecting Mr Darcy not Worzel Gummidge.’

  ‘God, I’m so sorry, Warwick. What a nightmare.’

  ‘It’s okay. Don’t panic. It’s not your fault,’ he said.

  ‘Of all the things to happen,’ Dan said.

  ‘We’ll find it,’ Warwick assured him, ‘and, no doubt, I’ll probably write about this one day. It would make a terrific scene for one of my books.’

  ‘Here!’ Dan said a second later. ‘Oh, it’s a Quality Street wrapper. I just saw something gold.’

  They went on searching.

  ‘I’ve got it!’ Warwick said a minute later.

  ‘Oh, thank goodness!’ Dan said. ‘But we’d better give it a wash before you pop it on her finger.’

  They returned to the hall and retreated upstairs where they washed the ring in Warwick’s ensuite with warm water and a bar of Pears soap.

  ‘Well, we’ve got the ring,’ Warwick said. ‘What about the bride?’

  Dan got his phone out and rang Robyn. A moment later, he looked up at Warwick and the wounded look in his eyes told him all he needed to know.

  ‘She’s not coming, is she?’ Warwick said.

  ‘They don’t know,’ Dan said.

  Warwick looked totally lost for a moment but then he seemed to leap a foot in the air. ‘Get me some paper!’ he cried.

  ‘Warwick, mate,’ Dan said, ‘now isn’t the time to write your novel.’

  ‘Not my novel,’ Warwick said. ‘I need to write to Katherine!’

  Dan turned to the left and then to the right, desperately searching for something Warwick could write on. ‘The dressing table drawer!’ he shouted.

  Warwick ran across the room and opened it, discovering a neat pile of writing paper with ‘Purley Hall’ embossed in gold across the top and a collection of envelopes.

  Reaching for his fountain pen, Warwick wrote.

  ‘Right,’ he said a moment later, blowing on the ink before folding the paper and placing it carefully into an envelope. ‘Can you get this to Katherine for me?’

  ‘Of course,’ Dan said, surprised by the speed at which Warwick had written his letter to Katherine. Didn’t he want to spend more time on it? Didn’t he want this opportunity to pour his heart out to her? But Dan didn’t question him because he didn’t think that went with the job description of best man. Instead, he left the room in hast and sprinted down the driveway. His heart was racing madly. He’d never known a day like it. Even when he thought back to his stressful job in London, he could honestly say that nothing could compare to today.

  Once at Horseshoe Cottage, Dan knocked loudly on the door and, a moment later, Robyn answered.

  ‘Dan!’ she said in surprise.

  ‘Is Katherine still here?’

  ‘Yes,’ Robyn said, ‘but we don’t know what’s happening. Pammy’s with her now and her Uncle Ned is pacing around in the kitchen like a lost thing.’

  ‘I’ve got a letter from Warwick. Will you give it to her?’

  ‘Of course. I’ll take it up right now.’ Robyn looked up at her husband. ‘Are you to wait for an answer?’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t ask. Perhaps I should.’

  ‘Okay,’ she said, and an awkward moment passed between them but there wasn’t time to discuss what was going on with them right now because this was Katherine and Warwick’s day and they had to put that first.

  Lily Lawton looked at her watch for the fifth time in as many minutes. Shouldn’t her brother be here by now? The congregation was getting anxious with people whispering and looking around but too polite to ask what was happening. But Lily knew what was happening. Her message had got through to Warwick, hadn’t it? He’d changed his mind about this whole marriage business, realising that his sister was right and that he was better off as a bachelor.

  Lily sighed in relief. She’d paid for a new navy trouser suit for the wedding but it was a small price to pay for the happiness of her little brother. He’d come to see she was right in time and that he didn’t need to put a ring on a woman’s finger in order to love her and Katherine would forgive him if she truly loved him.

  She shook her head as she turned around and saw the sea of brilliantly coloured Regency gowns behind her. She’d been offered a costume when she’d arrived and had uttered something very unAustensian. Honestly, these people lived on a different planet, didn’t they? And the sooner she and her brother got away from it all, the better.

  ‘Katherine?’ Robyn said as she entered the bedroom. ‘I’ve got a letter for you from Warwick.’

  Katherine’s eyes widened at this declaration. ‘Is he here?’

  ‘Dan delivered it,’ Robyn said, handing the envelope to her and exchanging an anxious look with Dame Pamela.

  Katherine opened it and unfolded the paper inside and silently read the words written there in Warwick’s writing.

  Six words. Just six. But the right six.

  Katherine’s hand dropped into her lap for a moment and then she looked up, and her eyes suddenly seemed to dance with light.

  ‘Robyn – help me!’ she said, leaping up from the bed with the letter still clutched in her hand.

  ‘Are we going to a wedding, then?’ Robyn asked.

  ‘Of course we are! Oh, what was I thinking of, Robyn? Where did all those doubts come from? I must have been mad!’

  Robyn looked at Dame Pamela and they suddenly burst into laughter.


  ‘Oh, Katherine!’ Dame Pamela exclaimed, hugging the bride to her rapturously.

  ‘Pammy – would you tell Dan to let Warwick know we’re on our way?’ Robyn said.

  ‘Yes, of course.’

  ‘He’s downstairs.’

  ‘And ask Uncle Ned to come upstairs,’ Katherine said. ‘He must be wondering what on earth is going on.’

  Dame Pamela nodded and left the room and Katherine and Robyn stood there staring at one another.

  ‘What must you think of me?’ Katherine whispered.

  ‘I think you’re wonderful,’ Robyn said honestly, ‘and I think you’ve made the best decision in the world.’

  Katherine nodded, tears shining brilliantly in her eyes. ‘I have, haven’t I?’

  Robyn nodded. ‘Now, let’s get you to your groom!’

  Chapter 16

  The Regency-style open-top carriage looked perfect and Robyn helped Katherine in to it before handing her the bouquet of white roses.

  She then climbed in and sat opposite Katherine and her Uncle Ned. It felt like a wonderful extravagance to have hired a carriage and horses to travel so short a distance but when else in life could you get away with such a thing? If a woman couldn’t indulge herself on her wedding day then when could she?

  It looked so smart with its black and brown leather interior and shiny brass fittings and the two chestnut horses who had been groomed so that they almost shone. The driver and assistant were equally smart in navy suit and tails and hats and they set off for Purley Hall at a smart pace.

  Uncle Ned took his niece’s hand in his and squeezed it. ‘You look wonderful,’ he told her. ‘Absolutely wonderful!’

  ‘You do too,’ Katherine said, noticing his fabulous costume which included a wonderful purple cravat and matching waistcoat. His silver hair was short and neat and his round glasses gave his round face a quizzical look. ‘I hope I didn’t worry you before.’

  Uncle Ned cleared his throat and straightened his cravat. ‘Well, I did wear a bit of a trench in Robyn’s kitchen floor with all the pacing but this is your day, Katherine, and it’s important that you made the right decision,’ he said, patting her hand.

  Katherine smiled up at him as the carriage turned into the driveway of Purley Hall.

  Since arriving back with Dan and imparting the good news to Warwick who had thumped Dan on the back until he’d coughed and squeezed Dame Pamela until she’d begged for mercy, the dame had straightened and primped her blossom-pink Regency gown and finished her outfit with a single string of pearls around her neck. It was incredibly understated for her but she knew that this wasn’t her day to take centre stage – that honour went to Katherine. Still, she hadn’t been able to resist a great pink feather worn at a jaunty angle in her chignon.

  She was thrilled to see that so many of the guests were in costume but, then again, most of them were Janeites and they never needed much encouragement to don a bonnet or a pelisse. But there was a funny woman in the front row who didn’t really look like a woman at all in her crisp navy trouser suit. Dame Pamela wrinkled her nose. She did like women to look like women. It seemed a pity, too, because she was very attractive with her Audrey Hepburn-like hair and neat features.

  ‘Lily!’ Dame Pamela said to herself as she realised who the woman was and she went to greet her instantly. ‘My dear,’ she said, clasping her hand in delight. ‘How lovely to meet you.’

  Lily looked surprised but returned her host’s smile. ‘And you too, Dame Pamela,’ she said graciously.

  ‘I’m so excited about today. You must be so proud of Warwick.’

  ‘Well, I-’

  ‘And there he is!’ The congregation turned as one as Warwick and Dan entered the library and a soft round of applause rippled through the room. Lily’s mouth dropped open and she stared aghast as her brother came to stand beside her.

  ‘I thought you weren’t coming,’ she said.

  ‘What?’ Warwick said, turning to face his sister in surprise.

  ‘I thought you’d seen sense and had jilted Katherine.’

  Warwick looked absolutely horrified. ‘You thought I’d do that?’

  ‘Well, I was hoping you would.’

  ‘Lily,’ he said in a hushed tone, ‘Katherine is the love of my life. She’s my whole world now and, if you can’t see that, then perhaps you’d better leave.’

  Lily looked dumbstruck for a moment but then swallowed hard and took a deep breath. ‘Sorry,’ she said in a tiny voice.

  ‘Pardon?’ Warwick said.

  ‘I said I’m sorry!’ she said, just as the string quartet had stopped playing to change their music. Her voice carried forth across the congregation and Lily blushed to her ears.

  ‘Good!’ Warwick whispered back. ‘Katherine is going to be my wife and your sister-in-law and the sooner you embrace that, the better,’ he said, leaning forward to kiss Lily’s cheek.

  After the photographer had taken about two hundred photographs of Katherine arriving in the carriage and standing in the entrance hall, the bride entered the library. The string quartet were playing some Vivaldi as Uncle Ned walked Katherine up the aisle and Katherine gasped at the sight that greeted her.

  The library at Purley was a wondrous sight at any time but today, full of friendly faces in a splendid array of costumes and with the mingled scent of lilies and roses, it took Katherine’s breath away. She recognised many of the faces smiling at her – dear friends from her Oxfordshire village, colleagues from St Bridget’s College and fellow Janeites from the Austen conferences. Even her future sister-in-law was smiling, Katherine couldn’t help noticing.

  And there, standing at the top of the aisle, was Warwick.

  He turned to look at her and his eyes were so full of love that Katherine was reminded of the moment in the 1995 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice where Mr Darcy is watching Elizabeth Bennet as she turns the pages of music for his sister Georgiana and the tenderest, most passionate look is exchanged between the two of them and you know that they will be together forever.

  Uncle Ned walked Katherine to her groom, played his part and then took a step back and Warwick reached out to hold Katherine’s hand. She took in the sky-blue cravat he was wearing and the fabulously ornate cream and gold waistcoat teamed with a dark jacket and dark breeches.

  ‘You look beautiful,’ he whispered.

  Katherine smiled up at him. ‘I got your note,’ she told him.

  He grinned. ‘I guessed.’

  Robyn, who was standing behind Katherine, now took her bouquet. She’d heard the brief exchange between them and was quite desperate to know the contents of Warwick’s letter. What had he said to her to have made her so very sure so very suddenly?

  But it wasn’t very hard to guess which six words Warwick had written to Katherine – not very hard to guess for a Janeite – because Warwick had chosen Captain Wentworth’s words to Anne Elliot in Persuasion from the most romantic letter ever written.

  “I am half agony, half hope.”

  Chapter 17

  Half-way through the ceremony, Dame Pamela stood up and gave a reading which was, of course, the final paragraph from Jane Austen’s Emma and the congregation nodded and sighed with happiness as she read the words ‘the small band of true friends who witnessed the ceremony were fully answered in the perfect happiness of the union.’

  Dan caught Robyn’s eye and mouthed the word ‘sorry’ across the aisle but she cast her eyes to the floor and refused to look at him. He swallowed hard.

  When the moment came to exchange rings, Dan stepped forward and shared an amused look with Warwick which, luckily, nobody else saw otherwise questions would surely have been asked and, before they knew it, the registrar declared that Warwick and Katherine were husband and wife and a great cheer went up from the congregation and Warwick leaned in to kiss his bride.

  ‘Is that straw in your hair?’ Katherine said as they were asked to sign the register.

  Warwick’s hand flew up to his head. ‘I
er –’

  ‘How on earth did you get straw in your hair?’

  ‘I just took a quick trip to the stables,’ he said. ‘Isn’t it meant to be good luck to pat a grey horse on your wedding day?’

  ‘Is it?’ Katherine said. ‘It’s the first I’ve heard about it.’

  The wedding party were just making their way outside for photographs when Robyn took Katherine to one side and adjusted her hair.

  ‘There, that’s better,’ she said with a smile. ‘You almost lost a rosebud after that kiss of Warwick’s!’

  Suddenly, Katherine grabbed Robyn’s arm as she spotted a buxom woman in a brilliant emerald-green and silver dress.

  ‘Robyn?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘What’s Mrs Soames doing here?’ Katherine asked in alarm.

  ‘Oh,’ Robyn said, ‘I meant to warn you. I’m afraid Doris Norris invited her – she was kind of pressured into it from what I can gather.’

  Katherine stared in amazement as Mrs Soames caught her eye. She was heading right towards her. There would be no avoiding her.

  ‘Oh, goodness!’ Katherine cursed under her breath. Of all the days to have a confrontation with Mrs Soames.

  ‘Ah, Dr Roberts,’ Mrs Soames began, her enormous chest heaving itself towards the startled bride, ‘there’s something I am compelled to tell you.’

  ‘Really, Mrs Soames? Are you sure it has to be now only I’m a little busy,’ Katherine said, making to move away but Mrs Soames stopped her, laying a fat hand on the bride’s arm.

  ‘Yes, I simply must tell you,’ she went on, ‘that you look absolutely beautiful!’ Mrs Soames said with just the hint of a smile warming her large face.

  Katherine blinked in shock. Was that a compliment she’d just been given? By Mrs Soames? The woman who did nothing but find fault with the world and then inform ever single resident of it?

  Mrs Soames nodded at the bemused Katherine and then turned to leave.

  ‘Did I just imagine that?’ she asked, turning to her maid of honour.

  Robyn’s face broke into a huge smile. ‘Well, I never!’ she said. ‘Mr Knightley said “Surprises are foolish things” but I think that was rather wonderful!’