Mr. Congeniality

by Sherry Lewis

  Before she could get away, the door flew open, and Nessa and Tyler stood silhouetted by the beam of their flashlight. Nessa gaped at Annie’s robe and slippers. “Mom? What are you doing?”

  Annie blinked furiously and her eye began to tear. “I went to your room to talk to you, but you weren’t there.”

  “So you came looking for me?”

  Annie put one hand over her eye and struggled to resist the urge to rub it. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. It’s late. You should both be in bed.”

  Nessa’s expression grew even more injured. “It’s not even midnight.”

  Tyler shifted uncomfortably. “We weren’t doing anything wrong.”

  The dirt scratching Annie’s eye made her want to scream. She tried to keep her voice level. “I never said you were, Tyler. But it’s late and everyone else is asleep. It’s time to come back inside now.”

  Nessa pushed past Annie into the stable. “I don’t believe this. You were spying on us, weren’t you?”

  “I wasn’t spying. I came out to find you.”

  “Then why didn’t you just open the door and come outside? Why were you lurking in here?”

  The argument with Dean, the dirt in her eye and the feeling that she never seemed to please Nessa made Annie’s patience snap. “I don’t have to explain myself to you, young lady. I have every right to find you if you’re not where you’re supposed to be at this time of night.”

  Nessa growled angrily and pushed through the other stable door. Annie followed, hoping Tyler would come back to the lodge, but too concerned about Nessa to wait.

  Halfway across the clearing, Nessa stopped walking and whirled back. The wind whipped her hair straight out from her head and her eyes were wide and wild. “Was I doing anything?”

  “No, you weren’t.” Annie kept walking, hoping to close the distance between them. “But that’s not the point.”

  As soon as she got close, Nessa took off again and shouted over her shoulder. “You don’t trust me. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?”

  Acutely aware of sleeping guests in the nearby cabins, Annie tried to keep her voice down. “It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s not Tyler, either. It’s just the situation.”

  “What situation?”

  “You and Tyler alone in the middle of the night.” Annie drew up next to her and caught her by the shoulders. “I know what it’s like to be fifteen, Nessa. I remember all too well.”

  Nessa tried to squirm away. When she realized that Annie wasn’t about to let go she stopped fighting, but the expression in her eyes was pure poison. “So what does that mean? That you were sleeping around at my age?”

  “No! Of course not.”

  “But you think I am?” Nessa threw an arm into the air and broke Annie’s grip. “Thanks, Mom. I feel really great now. It’s nice to know what you think of me.”

  “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” Annie glanced behind her and caught a glimpse of Tyler hovering a few feet away. Annie appreciated the fact that he wasn’t trying to interfere as much as she appreciated his concern for Nessa. “It’s just that I know how easily situations can get out of hand. Especially when you’re with a guy you really like.”

  “Yeah? Well, that’s obvious.” Nessa started walking backward, hands in front of her to keep Annie from touching her. “Tell you what, Mom. When you learn how to control yourself, then you can come and talk to me, okay?”

  If the previous question had been a slap, this one was a dagger to Annie’s heart. She didn’t know if she was more hurt or angry, but she did know she had to clear up the misunderstanding.

  “What you saw—” she began.

  “What I saw was you kissing Dean. Or are you going to tell me he was just giving you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?”

  Annie clenched her fists at her side and fought to remain calm. “No. It’s true. We were kissing.”

  “Why? You’re still married. Or have you forgotten that?”

  “I’m separated, Nessa. I’m only a few weeks away from being divorced. And I’m an adult. I agree that it would have been smarter to wait until the divorce is final, but the divorce will be final, Nessa. I can’t live with your dad any longer and he doesn’t want to live with me.”

  The clouds parted for a moment and Nessa’s dark eyes flashed in the moonlight. “Dad does want to live with you. He’s still in love with you, Mom. He wants you back.”

  “I know you love your dad, sweetheart. And you should. Nothing that happens between us should ever affect that. But he made the choices that ended our relationship, not me.”

  “You’re the one who filed for divorce.”

  “Because he decided that there were things more important than our commitment.”

  A light came on in one of the cabins and Annie realized she’d been talking too loud. She lowered her voice again and took a deep breath for control before she went on. “I know you’re hurting over the divorce. I’m willing to give you time to work through your feelings. I’m willing to do almost anything to help you. But the one thing I won’t do is take your dad back. You’re going to have to work on accepting that because nothing is going to change it.”

  “So you’re having a thing with Dean now?”

  Annie shook her head quickly. “No. What you saw was just a…” Her voice trailed off as she fought to find the right word. “It was a moment, that’s all. It doesn’t mean that Dean and I are together. I’m not ready to be with anyone yet. It’s too soon.”

  Nessa’s lip curled. “But not too soon to kiss him?”

  Annie caught Nessa’s hand and held on to it. “You and I will be leaving here in a few weeks. We’ll go back to our old lives and never see these guys again. That’s another reason I don’t want you to get in too deep with Tyler.”

  To Annie’s surprise, Nessa gripped her hand tightly. “I don’t want to go back, Mom. I like it here.”

  “Of course you do. So do I. But we’ve always known that we have to go back to our real lives when the summer’s over.”

  “But I don’t want to.”

  “You didn’t want to come here at first, either. Remember?”

  “Well, I was wrong.”

  Hope surged, but Annie knew Nessa too well to believe that this mood would last. “When you get back to Chicago, you’ll be glad to see your friends and return to your school.”

  Nessa shook her head and sent a wistful glance toward the stables. “I’ve finally found something I’m good at, Mom. I don’t want to leave.”

  “There will be plenty of things you’re good at. Discovering what they are is what the next few years are for.”

  “No, Mom. This is what I want to do. This is what I love.”

  “It takes time to find your passion in life, honey. I didn’t realize what I wanted to do until after you were born.”

  “I know how I feel,” Nessa shouted, “and I know what I want to do.” She threw her arms in the air and began to pace the narrow spot in front of Annie. “Do you want to know why I like Tyler so much? Because he listens to me. You never do.”

  “Of course I do.”

  “You don’t. You’re so sure that nothing is any good unless it happens your way, you won’t even give me the chance to try.” Nessa stopped pacing suddenly. “When are you going to figure out that I’m not you?”

  “I know you’re not,” Annie said weakly, but Nessa had already raced up the stairs and the door slammed before she could get the last words out. The only sounds Annie could hear were the soft sigh of the wind and the scuff of Tyler’s footsteps as he followed Nessa inside.

  THE STORM HIT THE NEXT DAY, and everyone seemed to be feeling it. A few guests roamed the lodge restlessly, others hissed at whimpering children, bickered with their spouses or slumped in chairs in front of the windows watching the downpour.

  Gary did his best to lighten spirits, and Annie’s respect for his natural way with people grew even stronger—especially now that she knew what was really in his
heart. She kept busy in the kitchen all morning, throwing together snacks and making pitchers of iced tea and mugs of cocoa for those who wanted them. Each time she carried something into the great room, she heard Dean or Gary assuring the restless bunches that the storm wouldn’t last.

  By two o’clock, when even Gary was forced to admit that the storm wasn’t going to abate, the tension hung like thick fog in the great room. Irma had taken charge of the children and was reading stories aloud in one corner. Nessa and Tyler huddled together on the far side of the room taking great pains not to make eye contact with anyone else—especially Annie. Gary started a game of hearts for a quartet of willing participants, and Dean carried in firewood while Les set kindling in the massive fireplace.

  With everyone else occupied and with a few free minutes to call her own, Annie took advantage of the quiet and slipped into Dean’s office to use the telephone. It had been too long since she’d talked to her mother, and after last night she needed to hear a friendly voice.

  She shut the office door and sat in Dean’s huge leather chair, trying to draw on his strength. She dialed quickly and held her breath, willing her mother to be home. When she heard the familiar voice on the other end, relief almost made her cry.

  “Honey!” her mother cried when she heard Annie’s voice. “What a delightful surprise.” She paused and her voice changed. “Is something wrong?”

  “No. I’ve just been missing you.”

  “I miss you, too. How’s the world at your end?”

  Annie leaned back in the chair and began to curl the phone cord around one finger. “Fine. You should see this country someday, Mom. It’s breathtaking.”

  “Have you taken any pictures yet? I’d love to see them.”

  “Not yet, but I will.” The prospect of having photos to remind her of this summer was a bittersweet one. “Pictures won’t do this area justice, though. You have to see it to believe it.”

  “I’m envious. And how’s the job? Okay?”

  “It’s fine.” Rain spattered against the window behind her and she huddled deeper into the chair. “It’s not what I’m used to, but it has a strange kind of appeal.”

  “How’s Gary?”

  “You wouldn’t even recognize him. He’s a cowboy through and through—and quite a remarkable man now that he’s all grown up.”

  Her mother laughed. “That he is, honey. And Nessa? How does she like living on a ranch?”

  Annie couldn’t hold back her sigh. “You know how much she fought me about coming? Well, now she’s decided she never wants to leave.”

  “Knowing Nessa, that doesn’t surprise me a bit. But what about her friends in Chicago?”

  “She doesn’t seem to care. She’s discovered a new love of horses and she announced last night that she wants to work in a stable for the rest of her life.”

  “Really?” Her mother’s voice changed subtly, but Annie couldn’t make out the emotion. “Well. I must say I’m not surprised. She’s always loved animals.”

  “Kittens and puppies,” Annie protested mildly. “Horses are a whole different story.”

  “Yes, well they are bigger, and I think they’re probably harder to keep in a downtown apartment. I wonder what the pet deposit would be?”

  Annie usually loved her mother’s ability to laugh about everything, but she wasn’t in the mood for jokes today. “Can we be serious, Mom? I have a problem here.”

  Her mother’s voice sobered. “She really wants to stay?”

  “That’s what she says.”

  “And how do you feel?”

  “Frustrated.”

  “I meant, do you want to stay there?”

  “That’s not even an option,” she said firmly. “I have a job in Seattle starting in just a few weeks. I’ve already arranged to have my furniture and clothes shipped.”

  Her mother laughed softly. “Sweetheart, anything’s an option if you want it to be. And the way you just raved about the scenery there made me wonder. Do you think your boss would keep you on?”

  Annie resented the way her mother was running away with the idea. “Honestly, Mom, you’re talking as if you think staying here is a good idea.”

  “I think that whatever makes you happy is a good idea. I’d really like to see you happy for a change.”

  “I was happy,” Annie reminded her, “until Spence decided he couldn’t keep his pants zipped.”

  “Oh, Annie, you weren’t happy.”

  “I was.”

  “You were content, I suppose. But not happy.”

  “And how would you know?”

  “I’m your mother. I’ve known you your whole life. I know the way your eyes look and how your voice sounds when you’re happy. You weren’t happy.”

  Annie growled in frustration, but she had the sinking feeling her mother was right. “Fine. But that doesn’t mean I should move across the country and embrace a radical lifestyle change.”

  “Isn’t that what you’d be doing in Seattle?”

  “That’s different.” A gust of wind rattled the window. Annie leaned against one side of the chair and draped her legs across the opposite arm. “Staying here would be just too drastic.”

  “What’s wrong with drastic?”

  “I have a life, Mom.”

  “Yes, you do. Now tell me how it’s been working for you.”

  Annie opened her mouth to answer, but nothing would come out. She clamped her mouth shut and kicked one leg nervously. “You know how it’s working,” she said after a lengthy pause. “But making a huge change is not the answer. In fact, Spence has asked me to come back and work at Holladay House.”

  “You told him no, of course.”

  “Yes, but he still wants me to think about it.”

  “I see.” Her mother let a moment lapse. “How do you feel about that?”

  “I don’t know,” Annie admitted. “I don’t know if I can work with him, knowing that he’s with Catherine. But if I go back to Chicago, Nessa won’t have to live with Spence. Besides, I’m not sure that I want to teach. I love doing too much.”

  “Sounds to me like it’s time you figure out what you want.”

  Annie twisted the phone cord around her finger again. “I know what I want. I want a normal life. I want a daughter who doesn’t hate me and a job I can be proud of.” And someone to love. She pushed that unwelcome thought aside. “I want to work through the issues of my divorce and get my head on straight before I start making big life decisions.”

  “Let’s start at the beginning of your list,” her mother said with infuriating calm. “Nessa doesn’t hate you. She’s just a teenager, hopped up on hormones and the agony of growing up.”

  In spite of her warring emotions, Annie laughed at her mother’s choice of words. “Hopped up? Really, Mom. You make it sound as if she’s on drugs.”

  “Sometimes that’s what it feels like.” Her mother let out a sigh and Annie pictured her in her easy chair with her feet up. “Your body just seems to take over at times and your emotions are always running high. Don’t you remember being that age?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Then you remember how much you welcomed my input?”

  Annie pulled her finger out of the cord and started winding it up again. “I didn’t react the way Nessa does, and I certainly didn’t talk to you the way she talked to me last night.”

  Her mother’s sudden laughter rubbed her already raw nerves the wrong way. “Oh, Annie. What universe were you living in? You don’t welcome my input now. And I distinctly remember a couple of fights we had when you were younger that were real doozies.”

  Annie frowned at her finger inside the cord. “I don’t.”

  “You don’t? Think about it, Annie. Remember the argument we had when I was making the macaroni and cheese?”

  Annie started to say no, but a flicker of memory came back to her. She sat back in her chair and jerked her finger out of the cord again. “I vaguely remember an argument, but I don’t recall any de
tails.”

  “Well, I do. You wanted to hop on a Greyhound bus and travel across four states with some friends—does that ring a bell?”

  Annie bit the inside of her lip and nodded reluctantly. “Vaguely. But—”

  “But nothing. You were all of fifteen years old at the time and absolutely furious with me because I didn’t want to let you head off with a bunch of kids and no chaperone. And, if you’ll recall, the group was co-ed.”

  Annie laughed and rested her cheek in her hand. “Okay, you win. I remember thinking you were the worst mother in the world.”

  “So you said…several times.”

  “Was I really so awful?”

  “Yes. And yes, the things you said hurt me—just like some of Nessa’s comments hurt you now.”

  “Why did you put up with it?”

  “Because you were hurting, honey. You were confused. You were finding your way. Nessa’s feeling all that and she has the divorce to deal with, too.”

  “It would be easier if she’d accept it.”

  “She will. But I’m sure she’s feeling powerless right now. After all, her life’s been tossed upside down, too. You and Spence are changing everything and not giving her any say in what happens. Just imagine how that must feel. Her life isn’t just an extension of yours, you know.”

  Being told something similar twice in less than twelve hours made Annie edgy. “I know. I know. But I shouldn’t have to reconcile with Spence just so she doesn’t have to feel frustrated.”

  “Of course you shouldn’t. I’m not saying that growing up should be a license for kids to do or say whatever they want. But relationships change—even between parent and child—and the growing pains can be very real. It could be that you’re still expecting to see a little girl when you look at her.”

  Annie blinked back tears and leaned her head against the chair. “She is a little girl.”

  “No, honey, she’s not. She’s a young woman and very nearly an adult. She’s a whole person who may actually agree with you sometimes, but very probably won’t. Your only job is to teach her how to make decisions. Not to make them for her.”

  In that moment, Annie’s own adolescence came back in a rush. She remembered fighting against the constraints of childhood and how much she’d resented her father for holding on long after she thought he should have let go. “Letting go is so hard,” she said with a sigh.