Dancing Tides

by Vickie McKeehan

  Keegan opened the flap and oohed at the card. “How sweet-looking. If my grandmother were alive, I’ve no doubt she would’ve knitted her a baby blanket in powder blue.”

  “I wish I knew how to knit.” Hayden glanced around her own store. “I’ve got a book here on the subject—in the how-to section. Wonder how long it would take me to learn. Of course it’s too late to start now for Jordan, but—”

  Keegan got the hint. “Wait. Are you pregnant, Hayden?”

  She beamed. “Just barely. Don’t tell anyone. You’re the first one I’ve told outside of Ethan, of course. I thought it would be a nice little surprise to spring on the guests at Jordan’s shower.”

  “Oh, it will. Ethan must be walking on air. And Lindeen Cody must be about to burst at finally getting a grandbaby.”

  “Lindeen doesn’t know yet. We plan to tell his folks on Sunday at dinner.”

  Keegan scanned all the books on the shelves, waiting for just the right time to bring up the subject of Scott.

  But Hayden zoned in on something that seemed to be troubling Keegan. “Were you looking for a particular book?”

  “You have a lot more selection than you did the last time I was here.”

  “I get new titles in every week. I sell more books than I do all this other stuff combined. It seems the town really was in need of a place to buy affordable reading material. They even buy Scott’s old college textbooks because it seems they’re still in use at UC Santa Cruz. The students here even buy his programming manuals. It seems when it came to books, Scott Phillips never threw one away.”

  Hayden sighed. “I hated parting with them until one day he finally told me I had to let them go.”

  Keegan’s mouth dropped open. Here was her opening. “You had a conversation with Scott Phillips about his textbooks?”

  Hayden didn’t hesitate. She looked Keegan straight in the eyes and replied, “Not had. I do have. I talk to him all the time. He comes and goes in here just like he does the rest of the town.” She tilted her head to study Keegan. “Let me guess, you’ve seen him and think you’re going crazy or something?”

  “I’ve seen him and I’m not sure what to think. Why do you think he hasn’t moved on from this realm to the next? Why is he still earthbound like he is?”

  “You’ve been talking to Wade, haven’t you? Well, let’s put it this way, I have no idea. Frankly, I don’t care why he’s here, only glad that he is.”

  “Jordan mentioned you and Scott forged a bond last fall. Is that true?”

  “Absolutely. If not for Scott, I don’t think I’d have found my purpose here.”

  “But you and Ethan fell in love. Wasn’t that your purpose, why you stayed here? You fell in love with Ethan. End of story.”

  “Of course, I fell head over heels in love with Ethan. But that certainly isn’t the simple end to a very complicated relationship with the man. We’re very different, Keegan. Without Scott’s words of wisdom in that regard, my future would’ve been murky at best with Ethan.”

  Hayden shook her head. “You really don’t get it do you?”

  Perplexed, Keegan admitted, “I guess I don’t.”

  “Okay. Let me see if I can simplify things. Do you honestly think I ever considered living in Pelican Pointe, let alone married to a deputy sheriff? When I got to town I was on the run, truly messed up, Keegan, really confused about my past, lacking confidence in my own abilities about my future. I’d been taken in by a very clever con man and was on the run from said bad guy. I was hoarding a secret, one I couldn’t tell anyone for fear that they might arrest me, or judge me. Either way, my self-worth was pretty much zero.”

  “So a ghost helped you with all that? Scott’s been bugging the hell out of Cord. And—”

  But Hayden didn’t let her finish. “Maybe Cord needs bugging. Did you consider that? Cord arrived in town after being in a dark place for a really long time, Keegan. He has major issues. Maybe Scott is trying to help him the same way he helped me.”

  “You really believe that?”

  “I do.”

  “But why?”

  “Never did I ever think I could be this happy after the mess I’d made of my life in Chicago. Life has unexpected roads with unexpected twists and turns and outcomes, Keegan. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure I’ve driven down every one of those unexpected roads. In fact, Ethan was one of those endings I didn’t see coming.”

  Hayden held her hands out wide and looked around the store. “And all the while those roads led me right here where I ended up married to the most wonderful guy in the world, and in eight more months I’ll have Ethan’s baby.” Her hand automatically rested on her flat stomach. “I’m running my own business in a place I never, ever would’ve sought out in a million years. And just look at all I have now.”

  “But he’s a ghost, Hayden. Scott doesn’t belong here, walking among the living, scaring people.”

  “Says who? Of course he belongs here. If not here, where? This is his hometown, Keegan, the place where he’s most comfortable, the place where he grew up after his parents died. From my standpoint, I’d say Scott Phillips knows exactly what he’s about. He’s seen heartache up close and personal. He knows the town and the people in it better than anyone. Personally, I don’t want him going anywhere else.”

  All of sudden, Hayden moved closer, got very serious. “Keegan, you might be a smart person, a scientist, someone who has always gotten your answers out of books. But unless you’ve gotten to know Scott firsthand, you really have no idea why he’s hanging around the town he loves.”

  After Keegan left, she couldn’t get past Hayden’s words. She decided to walk back to the center and get her truck. It seemed the only way she could hope to widen possibilities was to find her own solutions. The only way to discover the answers might be to enter the belly of the beast.

  But first she had a stop to make.

  Keegan moved through Eternal Gardens as if laden down with a heavy burden instead of three bouquets of flowers. The last time she’d walked these grounds, she had laid her grandmother to rest. Two funerals in a short span of fifteen months was really too much for anyone to bear.

  The sadness she felt had her wondering if Cord would ever get past his beloved Cassie enough to take a serious chance on anything long-term with her.

  When she reached the Fanning plot, she knelt down to place two identical sets of red roses on the graves of first Porter, and then Mary Fanning. She paused, remembering the first prayer Mary had ever taught her as a meek, five-year-old child. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake. I pray the Lord, my soul to take.

  Tears welled up before she changed direction to search for the plot marked Phillips.

  She wandered around a bit until she came across four headstones lined up in a row. The first two belonged to Scott’s parents. The last pair, that of his grandparents. The fifth headstone was Scott’s.

  David Scott Phillips

  Beloved Husband and Father

  Died In Service to His Country

  The urn in front of the marker held a dozen long-stemmed, pink tulips. She stood there a minute before deciding to add the white roses she’d brought to the number. She slid in the stems, one by one, stepping back to examine her work.

  “Thanks for coming. Those are nice. You really didn’t have to do that though.”

  Recognizing the voice, Keegan sucked in a breath, made a slow, deliberate turn to see Scott standing three feet from his own grave. She fought the urge to take a step back in retreat.

  “No need to be scared,” Scott cautioned. “I rarely have any reason for violence these days.”

  “Easy for you to say,” Keegan stammered. “You’re…everywhere.”

  “I try to be.”

  “Why?”

  “Why not?

  “You’re a puzzle to me.”

  “I see that. It’s not so difficult to understand. I love this place.” He lifted his head to the
sky, threw his arms out wide. “I’m home, exactly where I want to be. For me, this is my heaven.” He looked over at her. “Your grandparents were extraordinary people. They want you happy, Keegan.”

  She heaved out nervous frustration. “I saw you in town. It freaked me out. And you’ve been bugging Cord. And you’re coming and going the other night scared the crap out of both of us—” She ran out of steam and finally blurted out, “You saved Cord from killing himself New Year’s Day, didn’t you? The gun jammed because of something you did. That’s the only explanation.”

  “Not much different than you saving him from drowning. Is it?”

  “But that’s…how did you do something like that? Ghosts aren’t corporeal. Contrary to popular belief or urban legend, ghosts can’t maneuver things around.”

  “Ah, so now you want me to spill all my ghostly secrets on the first visit? Why? Aren’t you grateful Cord got a second chance, Keegan? Of course, it didn’t last long before he tried again. But lucky for him, you were there that night.”

  Keegan couldn’t argue with that, so she sat down cross-legged on the grass, pulled up a long blade of tender shoot to run through her fingers. “He’s trying to get his act together now. I try to help but—”

  “It’s up to him, Keegan. You can support him, be there for him, but the rest is up to him. Don’t you think?”

  “I’m in love with him.”

  “I know.”

  “He’ll never be over Cassie.”

  “Don’t count on that.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Don’t sell yourself short, Keegan. True love when it happens levels the playing field—considerably.”

  “But right now it’s one-sided.” She studied Scott’s face. “Isn’t it?”

  “You’re asking the wrong person.”

  “A woman doesn’t ask a man if he loves her. He’s supposed to—”

  Scott shook his head. “Women. They have all these rules of what is supposed to happen, what men are supposed to know how to do. You didn’t believe Cord when he told you he saw me, talked to me, and yet here you are, standing in the cemetery having a conversation like I’m real. Throw away the rules, Keegan. For once, let your heart guide you.”

  “It’s too soon anyway. I shouldn’t have told you.”

  Scott laughed so hard he held his hand at his sides. When he recovered, he said, “You think I’m going to run through town shouting Keegan’s secret? Who am I going to tell?”

  “You talk to Cord all the time. And besides, he couldn’t believe you held back the info about his father.”

  “Some things are meant to be learned over the natural course of time. Such was the case with Gabe Bennett. Those things that are dangerous, however, now those are another matter entirely.”

  That night Robby Mack didn’t get any farther than Lake Tahoe. A throbbing headache forced him to pull over for the night and sleep in the car. The meth he’d consumed before leaving Reno made him nervous and edgy.

  He counted the bills in his wallet.

  Whether it was the drugs or the fact he had less than twenty-five dollars, he decided the convenience store he’d passed ten miles back would have to do. It was remote and didn’t have that much security around it. He knew because he’d already checked.

  He pulled out a stocking cap from his bag, reached to make sure he hadn’t left the gun behind, and shot a quick U-turn.

  He stretched the knitted fabric over his head and prepared to do what he had to do.

  To make his way to Cord Bennett he needed money for gas.

  And he’d do anything to get it.

  Keegan dragged Cord to Santa Cruz under the guise of shopping for Jordan’s baby shower gift. She really wanted to get him out for an evening, hopefully get him to relax for longer than a couple of hours.

  The guy had been a walking bundle of nerves since he’d found out Robby Mack was on the loose. He needed a breather and Keegan was determined to make the outing fun.

  Even though guys usually avoided shopping like the plague, unless it was for a bigger flat-screen TV, their first stop was a baby boutique downtown that specialized in providing everything for mothers-to-be.

  Keegan browsed knowing exactly what she wanted, a knitted blanket for a baby boy that looked handmade. It wouldn’t of course be done by Mary Fanning, but if she found what she was looking for, she thought it might be an addition to any nursery that could be handed down from one generation to the next.

  When a fiftyish woman noticed the couple perusing layette sets, she stepped from behind the counter and wanted to know, “When are you due, dear?”

  “Me?” Keegan gaped a few seconds before looking down at her belly.

  At the question, Cord instinctively ogled Keegan’s stomach, as well. His brow creased. He needed clarification. “We are here for Jordan, right? Is there something you want to tell me?”

  But Keegan finally got her mouth fully operational. “It’s not for me. I’m shopping for a shower gift for a friend.”

  “Ah. Did you have anything in mind?”

  With that straightened out, Keegan went into detail about what she hoped to buy.

  “I’ve got just the thing. Follow me.” The sales clerk led them to a cherrywood crib set up in the corner decorated with an ensemble that included the fitted sheet, knitted blanket, bumper guard, and dust ruffle. “I know it’s for a boy, but the mint green really pops.”

  “Wow, it does,” Keegan agreed as she ran her hands over the incredibly soft fabric. “What do you think, Cord.”

  She turned and noticed he had turned a rather interesting shade of green himself.

  “This is for Jordan, isn’t it?” Cord wanted to know.

  “Oh. Cord, of course it is.” Her eyes twinkled with hilarity, delighted that he felt so uncomfortable about standing in a baby store. That is, until she realized something else was going on. Turning to the woman, Keegan went on, “If you gift wrap, I’ll take all four pieces.”

  Beaming, the sales lady asked, “Cash or charge?”

  “Charge,” Keegan answered as she dug out her Visa. But when the woman walked back to the cash register, Keegan shifted to Cord and asked in a huff, “Okay, what is it? Did I cross some invisible line here that has you freaking out for some unknown reason?”

  Without answering her, Cord bolted outside, leaving her standing there rather embarrassed by his abrupt change in behavior.

  Once out on the sidewalk, Cord ran his hands through his hair. How the hell did he intend to explain this to Keegan? He paced up and down on the cement, stressing all the while about that particular memory. When exactly had it buried itself deep inside his psyche? And why did it have to pop up now and ruin his evening out with Keegan? He desperately wanted a whiskey. Sweat beaded down his face.

  By the time Keegan exited the shop carrying her gift for Jordan, she saw a troubled man, a different man entirely than the one who had accompanied her to Santa Cruz. The joy of the trip gone, she wheeled on Cord. “What the hell was that all about in there? What’s wrong with you anyway? For crying out loud, I’m not pregnant! And if this is how you act when you think I am—”

  Both hands flew to his face, scrubbed downward. “I was back in another place, another time, with someone else.”

  “Don’t be coy. Why don’t you just say it? You mean Cassie? You were back in time with Cassie?”

  “Yes, Cassie.”

  “What does shopping for a baby gift have to do with—? Wait. Cassie got pregnant? That’s a little tidbit you forgot to mention.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “No, no, it really isn’t, Cord. I think I deserve the truth.”

  “Of course you do. Let’s cross the street to the café over there, sit down where we can talk, get something cold to drink.”

  “All right,” she said thoughtfully. She really didn’t like the sound of this.

  But after he grabbed her arm and led her to the little coffee shop, they took a booth in the back.

&
nbsp; She placed an order for iced tea she didn’t want—waited for him to get his thoughts together—and maybe his act. Because God, he acted like he really needed the time.

  “There are a few things that have come out in therapy.”

  “Okay.”

  “Things I didn’t want to remember about Cassie. Things I guess I blocked. It seemed better somehow if I could set aside her faults and forget about her shortcomings and concentrate on all the good. It turns out there wasn’t that much good.”

  That was the last thing she thought he’d say. Her brow tensed up. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m getting to it.” He took a deep gulp of iced tea that seemed to help him buy more time before going on, “I came back after my second tour in Iraq to California, landed at Los Alamitos.”

  “Because you were in the Guard here.”

  “Right. Cassie had flown from Virginia to here, met me at the airport along with all the other family members welcoming the unit home. Keep in mind my tour had lasted twelve months that time. Cassie and I hug, we kiss, we go through all the bells and whistles of small talk and then head out to check into a hotel. Here I think we’re going to have a helluva reunion and then we get to our room.”

  He took another long slug of tea. “She tells me she’s four months pregnant.”

  Keegan’s mouth wanted to drop open but she fought the urge to let it. Instead she merely reached out, laid her hand on his.

  Cord noted her eyes couldn’t hide the surprise or the sorrow.

  “Yeah, that’s about the reaction I had. Okay, maybe a little more. Obviously the baby isn’t mine. But she tells me she loves me and wants to try and make a go of it. I storm out of the room, go downstairs, hit the bar. I get drunk.

  “Next day, she begs me for another chance, wants me to forgive her, blah blah blah. A couple of days go by, I reconsider and we agree to try to make a go of things. I know it sounds crazy, Keegan, but I loved her, or at least I thought what I was feeling at the time was love. Anyway, we get an apartment. I go back to my job in construction. We go shopping for baby stuff on a weekly basis.”