Feolan caught Leyna’s eye from over Thade’s shoulder, blinking in shock at the sight of her. “Good heavens! What happened to –”
“She is going to rest here. I will have some food brought to her but I think it best that she not try to stay on her feet,” Thade replied loudly, glancing over his shoulder one last time at Leyna. Leaning forward, he brought his face in closer to Feolan’s, his tone falling hushed and secretive. “We will discuss it later, Feolan. For now, we need to get back to Kael and hear what he has to say.”
After a moment, Feolan nodded, hesitant to walk away, but recognizing there was nothing else he could do. Leyna watched them both disappear out into the hallway, the door closing quietly behind them. She felt giddy. Food was the furthest thing on her mind, and she felt convinced that if she were to eat, she wouldn’t be able to keep it down.
The blanket was comforting to the touch, fabric soft and inviting to her tired and aching muscles. She didn’t have it in her to fight it any longer. What did it matter whether Faustine would approve of her actions? It was just a bed, offered to her out of generosity by a member of the Queen’s court. As Thade had said. Context. There was nothing wrong with lying in a man’s bed if the man was not in it, and if the intent was to be out of it before the man even thought to rest himself. It was innocent enough.
Sliding along the mattress, she let her head fall back on the line of pillows, caught up in the sensation of warmth and comfort beyond any which she had ever experienced before. I could get used to life at court if I came home to this every night. But she couldn’t. She had made her decision, opting for the promise of excitement in the field of battle, though in a much different way than during the war. This would likely be the only chance she would have to bask in such luxury. And with sleep taking over her thoughts, she let her mind wander, letting go of the lectures of Faustine and the pain in her body, giving herself completely to the peaceful dreams.
“The Consul took a strange interest in you this evening, Eleni.” Kael was suspicious. As well he should be, given the disappearance of she and Thade before dinner. Time had felt quick to her while faced with Thade’s pleading eyes and sculpted lips, but it had been slow. And Kael was painfully aware of just how long they were alone together. “Tell me – did he say anything to you? Did he ask of your position within Mikel’s employ?”
Leyna followed him into the room, groggy, unfocused from her slumber. Dinner had come and gone without her touching it. She wasn’t hungry. She wasn’t anything, at the moment. “What? No … well, he questioned me about my injuries, but that was to be expected. It was nothing out of the ordinary.”
“And what did you tell him?”
What had she told him? All she wanted to do was sleep. Why was he asking her so many questions? She couldn’t think of the words which had passed between her and Thade. He mentioned shackles – and the imprint of a fist being no form of sorcery, but she had no recollection of confirming anything. “I – told him nothing. Nothing at all. I was tired, Kael. We said very little before I fell asleep.”
“You slept in his presence?”
“No.”
“Then you expect me to believe you told him ‘nothing’ while in that room for the better part of an hour?”
“Kael.” An hour. Had it really been so long? “What is wrong with you? What kind of girl do you take me for? And even more, what kind of man do you think the Consul is?”
He looked her over, a stern expression on his face. “I love you dearly, Eleni, but you are a slave, and have been in the clutches of men for so long that I fear you may not be able to tell them no if they requested anything of you.”
“You think the Consul would have forced himself upon me? Are you insane?” The fog was lifting from her thoughts. He believed her a whore. Well, that certainly explained a great deal. “Ah, but no. You are trying to determine whether he forced me, or I gave in willingly? Would you even believe me if I insisted nothing happened?”
“No. That is not it at all. If you give me your word that nothing happened, then I will trust it. I merely get… nervous… when I feel I may have competition from a man more influential than myself.”
Competition. What an odd way to describe their situation. It was as though he were convinced the Consul had any interest in her romantically. And while she was becoming increasingly aware that she was harboring some complicated emotions toward him, she was certain that those feelings were not reciprocated beyond friendship. Yet Kael felt threatened by him.
“It is no competition, Kael. I only just met that man, and will more than likely never see him again. You are the one who will be traveling home with me. That should ease your mind.”
She heard the lock clicking into place from under Kael’s hands, a thoughtful expression crossing his masculine features. Fatigue still lingered over her senses. Her room at the inn was across the hall, beckoning to her, tempting her with the thought of the bed, made up, and waiting for her to crawl under the soft blankets.
But Kael was blocking the door. Her bed would have to wait a bit longer.
“Stay with me tonight, Eleni.”
His words sent panic through Leyna’s heart, the way his eyes lingered over her. “I cannot. I should not even be here now. It is not appropriate.”
With only a few long strides, Kael was to her, his arms wrapping around her slender waist. Heat rose up in her cheeks. Lost in his eyes, she felt him guiding her backward, pressing her up against the wall gently, planting soft kisses over the surface of her neck. She hated that it felt good. Chills ran up and down the length of her spine with every touch, her head tilting to the side, taken in by it all.
Closing her eyes, she sank against the coolness of the wall, supported by Kael’s strong arms holding her tightly. In her mind, she was transported back to the flickering orange light of the candles in Thade’s room. She could feel the silky fabric of the luscious comforter, sinking under her weight on the bed. And there above her, she could see Thade, tenderly caressing her face, his exquisite lips brushing over the skin on her neck.
Slowly, his lips made their way to hers, drawing her in closer. It thrilled her. Blood pulsed quickly through her body by her wildly beating heart, his hands lightly touching her hair, over the sharp point of her ear, and down her neck.
Swept away by the images and the unusual sensations filling her mind and body, it wasn’t until she felt a hand sliding up the bare skin of her leg under her skirt that she was brought back to reality, her uninjured eye snapping open. She wasn’t met with the gentle gaze of Thade she saw in her mind’s eye. Her heart sank to find herself in Kael’s passionate embrace, pressed up against the wall with his groping hand working its way over her thigh.
Gasping for air, she pulled her lips away from his, struggling to break free of where she was pinned under his weight. “Stop. Kael, please, stop.”
He wasn’t listening. She was near hysterics before he suddenly became aware of her protests, releasing his hold on her immediately.
She was at an utter loss for words, her breathing ragged. Her hands were shaking. Every part of her body was shaking. Trembling fearfully at what she’d almost allowed to happen. It was all she could do to keep from screaming, covering her face shamefully with her hands.
“Eleni, what is the matter? You act as though you have never done this before. I will not hurt you.” He started to move toward her again. She cried out desperately, holding her left hand between them as a barrier. What a sight she must be to him! Battered and bruised, her face flushed, hair disheveled. The pain in her right wrist was too much for it to be of any use, flopping pathetically down in front of her. And she was crying. Hot tears flooded from her left eye. Through the swollen lump of her right eye, the salt burned over the wounds, adding to her pain and frustration
Without a word, she rushed past him to the door, fumbling awkwardly with the lock through her tears. She could hear him calling out her name after her. The name he believed to be hers. And it was all a lie! He
loved a woman who didn’t exist. Eleni wasn’t real. But then, neither was Leyna Evantine. No documentation of her birth. Nothing to verify her mother or father – nothing. A ghost in a world that she once thought to have figured out.
Once in the privacy of her own room, she secured the lock, sliding down the door into a heap on the ground. None of it made any sense. In Kael’s arms, she had felt the presence of Thade in her mind. But why him? Why the one man with whom she could never be? And she had enjoyed it! Every inch of her wanted to give in to him, completely and without hesitation. He would be appalled if he knew.
And Kael. He would be furious if he ever discovered the thoughts which went through her mind. After her assurances that she held no feelings for the Consul to then replace Kael with Thade.
Even worse, she didn’t understand why. Thade had never given her any reason to think of him in that way. But the way he looked at her tonight. It sparked something inside of her that she’d never been faced with when she knew him during the war. Her adult body was playing tricks on her.
Pull yourself together! She was an absolute mess. How could she ever think to succeed in her mission like this? From day one she’d been plagued by the fear of what Feolan would say or how the Consul would react if he knew of the things that occurred while she was away. She needed to focus. Kael would be the perfect means of distraction from them for her, if only he would understand her need to move slow. In time, she believed her feelings for him could grow into those which he claimed to already possess for her, but it would never happen if things continued as they were.
Everything had become suddenly more personal for her in a single evening. Damir Rohld. Finally, she had the name of that wretched man. Associated with the Ven’shal. Rumored to have killed Iden’s daughter. Her mother. The name had never been spoken by Mikel or Oksuva, but there was no saying that she couldn’t drag it from their lips. If there was any proof he was involved in the slaughter of her mother, she would do whatever it might take to find him and avenge her death. To avenge Reina’s father and sister. It all had a new meaning to her now.
She couldn’t deny the feelings she so clearly held for Thade, but they would have to be forgotten. Locked away, never to be allowed into her mind again. Her relationship with him was nothing more than friendship and business. It would be best if she went out of her way to fill that void in her heart with someone else until it no longer could hurt her. As for the mission, she would continue to gather the information requested by Thade, but she would also be seeking the truth she needed for her own peace of mind. Someone out there had to know who killed her mother. She wouldn’t rest until that person had been brought to justice.
“Eleni?” Kael’s voice was quiet and muffled through the heavy wood of the door. “Please, will you open the door so we can talk? I cannot sleep knowing I may have hurt you in some way.”
A distraction. That was exactly what she needed to get the image of the Consul out of her head.
Inhaling a deep breath, she tried to regain her composure, smoothing the wrinkles out of her dress with her left hand as she climbed back to her feet. She gathered her courage, opening the door to see Kael’s worry-filled eyes gazing back at her from the hall.
“Can I come in?”
Quietly, she stepped out of the way to allow him entry, her eyes cast down to the floor until he passed, closing the door behind him.
“I am sorry –” They spoke simultaneously.
“Kael,” she whispered. “You have nothing to apologize for. It was me. I do not know what came over me.”
“You looked frightened.”
“I was. This is all new to me.” She scrambled in her mind to think of a good reason without exposing the truth about her relationship with Zander. “I have never before been with someone who I truly cared about. It is far more emotional than I was expecting, and I do not think I am ready for… quite so much. I need more time.”
He looked skeptical at first. It must have sounded strange to him, but she was not going to change her mind. Even slaves could have feelings. If he wanted to be close to her, he would have to understand that she was more than that. Or at least treat her as if she were.
“I think I understand.” His voice was quiet. “I got carried away at the occasion of being alone with you, without the constant fear that someone would see us. Oksuva told me that she wanted us to have this time. To strengthen our relationship, since it will be so difficult to do so back home.”
Of course. It was the first thing that actually made sense to her. Their whole journey here together was arranged with the hope of her being with Kael so intimately. After all, a woman whose heart belongs to a man is less likely to allow herself to be taken by another. It was all a means for Oksuva to further keep Mikel away from her.
“Then she will need to grant us a little more. I know nothing about you, and you even less about me.”
“I know enough about you to know that I love you.”
“You know that you think you feel that way, but do you really know who it is that you love? Do you know where I came from, what my opinions are, my dreams, my likes, dislikes – anything?”
His shoulders drooped dejectedly. She had won. There was nothing he could say to deny it. “If you desire more time, than we shall do what we can to acquire it. I want to be close to you, and I am willing to do whatever you ask of me.”
It was a cruel joke, leading him on in this way. No amount of time in the world would tell him the truth about her and who she was. He would be learning about Eleni, the slave, whose entire history was nothing more than fiction. She would have to think of something to tell him, at the very least. More lies to stack on top of lies.
Guilt was the worst part about it all. She felt she owed him something, however little it may be, to make up for her deception. But she had nothing of which she could give or offer him.
She made her way over to the small single bed, tucked against the wall at the back of the room. It was harder than the luxurious mattress she’d slept on at the Consul’s. But it was soft enough. And far superior to the cold and damp floor of the cellar. “Come,” she said softly, patting the blanket on the bed beside her. “You may hold me until I fall asleep.”
The smile on Kael’s face eased her troubled conscience. He was at her side, embracing her, taking in the scent of her hair. She knew it probably smelled like the pillows of the Consul, soothing in their gentle floral fragrance. Lavender sprinkled on the bed to help the mind relax and drift off to sleep.
Stop thinking about him. It sounded so simple, but yet he haunted her. Everything reminded her of Thade, the familiar sights and smells, sparking images and memories in her mind.
Lying back on the bed, she situated herself on the pillows, feeling Kael’s muscular arm sliding underneath her head. This was nice. An experience that she couldn’t link with anyone else. Only Kael. With a content sigh, she curled up beside him, gently resting her right hand on his chest. It hurt at first to apply pressure to the injured wrist, but it quickly ebbed away to a dull throb.
Silently she repeated his name to herself. Kael. Kael. No thoughts of Thade. In time it would be easier, but for now she had to keep Kael at the forefront of her mind in everything. Come tomorrow evening, they would be back in Dalonshire – and everything would change. She could only hope it would be for the best.
Chapter Twelve
Musicians played a gentle waltz that flowed lightly over the room. It was calming. A welcome relief from the usual fast pace of day to day life. The foyer was filled with bodies, several faces Leyna had never seen before, while others held a vague familiarity in her mind.
Many had been guests at other gatherings held in the house. Over the years, she felt like she should know more of these people but Oksuva rarely gave her an opportunity for socializing. Leyna was to remain out of sight unless Oksuva specifically requested her presence. She only did so on rare occasions. It came as a surprise to Leyna when Oksuva informed her that she would be attendin
g the party there tonight.
It was Mikel and Oksuva’s anniversary. The less-than-happy couple were seated at each other’s side, their expressions forced, their smiles strained. Mikel’s eyes drifted over the young women in the crowd while Oksuva kept her attention on her sister, making every effort to avoid conversation with her husband.
What a miserable existence they led. Despite her time in Oksuva’s service, Leyna had never been able to unearth the reasons behind why they ever agreed to matrimony at all. Possibly a premature romance. It was the only thing which made sense. Mikel was the type of man to feel strongly toward a woman for a brief period of time, claiming it to be something grand, and then losing interest. It was Oksuva who puzzled her. She had never given any indication that she loved her husband. She watched over him jealously for the sake of her own pride, showing no sign that she really cared one way or the other if he lusted at the other women he kept in his sights, as long as he kept his hands off them.
Leyna always enjoyed seeing Gislan’s carriage arrive at the front walk, knowing she would never visit without her beloved Zander at her side. It was humorous to Leyna, to see Zander toying with Gislan, stringing her along in the belief that he cared for her. He’d made it clear to Leyna during their brief moments of privacy that he held no feelings for the Esai wench. She was nothing more than a method of gathering information, and he intended to use her to the fullest extent, regardless of what it might require him to do.
From her position at the end of the host table, she could smell the mingling scents of the various entrees and side dishes prepared for the banquet. Her mouth salivated hungrily while her stomach ached from having consumed too much during dinner. The presence of someone at her side caught her attention, drawing her eye over to the dessert table to her left.
“They may have their faults, but they certainly do know how to feed people.”
The Myatheira Chronicles: The Vor'shai: From the Ashes (Volume 1) Page 39
