The Cop and His Omega

by Beau Brown

  I wrestled with whether I should tell Trevor. Would he prefer not knowing? Did I care? After all, this was half his problem too. Or was it a good thing and not a problem? This situation didn’t feel like a good thing. It felt horrible. I was trapped and scared with no idea how to proceed. But the baby wouldn’t care how confused I was. It would keep growing and growing until it was here, and its presence could no longer be denied.

  I touched my stomach and closed my eyes. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me, kid. There are far better omegas out there you could have had.”

  I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t ready to make a decision yet. I had time. It would be awhile before I’d start to show. I’d give myself space to figure this out. Maybe the right decision would come to me if I just relaxed and didn’t try to force it. That was exactly the advice I’d give any omega who came to me in this situation.

  Moving into the living room, I thought about how different this experience would be if I had a loving alpha. It would still be scary, but knowing there was someone beside me who’d be there when I needed him would make all the difference.

  I glanced around my quiet little home, and the silence seemed stifling. Until a few days ago, I’d been happy. Trevor’s warm presence had forced me to be a part of the world. I hadn’t even realized how much I’d fallen into a habit of watching from the sidelines. Maybe because of my upbringing it had felt familiar to observe, rather than take part. But Trevor had pulled me out of my cocoon.

  However, Trevor wasn’t here anymore, and I’d never felt so alone in my life.

  Chapter Eleven

  Trevor

  The weeks after I stopped seeing Brock seemed to drag. I went back to the club a few times but I just wasn’t into it anymore. All I could think about was the sad expression on Brock’s face when he’d told me he couldn’t see me anymore. I missed his laugh and his touch. I felt stupidly sentimental about our time together.

  I was on shift, cruising around at two o’clock on a school day, when I noticed a thin, young red-headed girl wandering down the sidewalk with a small suitcase. I pulled over near her and gave my siren a chirp. She froze in her steps and faced me with her eyes wide.

  I got out of the car and approached. “Shouldn’t you be in school?”

  She shifted uneasily and her cheeks flushed pink. “I need to catch a bus.”

  I frowned. “How old are you?”

  “I’ll be eighteen next week.”

  “So then you aren’t eighteen yet.” I glanced at her bag. “You said you’re catching a bus?”

  She lifted her chin. “I was. I’m probably going to miss it now.”

  “Look, I can’t let you get on that bus. You’re still legally a minor and you should be in class right now. What’s your name?”

  She sighed and her shoulders slumped. “Lilly.”

  “Lilly what?”

  “Blickmen.”

  Her name didn’t ring a bell from the missing kids list back at the station. “Why are you running away?”

  She shrugged.

  “Don’t you think your parent’s will be worried about you if you just take off?”

  “I doubt my folks will even notice.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  Clenching her jaw, she said, “You don’t know anything about me. Please let me go. I don’t want to be here. My mom is always mad and my dad is a drunk. I don’t want to be around either of them anymore.”

  I tensed. “Are they abusive?”

  She laughed gruffly. “No. They don’t even notice me. They’re probably going to get divorced.”

  “Does that make you sad?”

  Curling her lip, she scowled. “Are you trying to psychoanalyze me or something?”

  I gave an embarrassed laugh. “Not on purpose. I guess I just figured if I was your age and my parents split up, it would make me sad.”

  “Trust me, it might be a relief. They fight constantly.” She shifted and set her bag on the cement. “Are you going to arrest me?”

  “No.” I glanced back toward my car. “I’m going to take you back to school.”

  “Awesome,” she grumbled.

  “You want to be an adult, but running away isn’t how an adult handles their problems.” I moved toward my car. “Come on, get in.”

  She exhaled roughly and grabbed her bag from the ground, and then she followed me. I held the passenger door open for her and she looked surprised. “I get to ride in front?”

  “You’re not a criminal.”

  She smiled and slid in, setting her suitcase on her lap. “This is so cool.” She eyed my laptop and dashboard with her eyes wide. “Just wait till I tell my friend Sara I got to ride in a cop car.”

  I laughed and closed the door, walking around to the driver’s side. Once I was behind the wheel, I started the engine and pulled onto the road. “Have you talked to anyone about your home life?”

  She shrugged. “I’ve had a few conversations with the school psychologist.”

  My stomach clenched. “Mr. Pilot?”

  “Yeah, that’s him. He’s cool.”

  Without really thinking, I said, “Yeah. He is.”

  She faced me. “You know him?”

  “Yep. We went to school together when we were your age.” I didn’t bother to elaborate, obviously, about our more recent relationship.

  “Wow.” She folded her hands in her lap. “He’s really easy to talk to. I didn’t want to at first, but he is always willing to listen.”

  I pulled my brows together. “Then why are you running away?”

  She sighed. “I don’t know.”

  I bit my lip, giving her time so she could keep talking if she wanted to.

  “It’s not like I was going to go that far. My grandma lives the next town over in Rileyville, I was just going to stay with her for a while.”

  “Did she know you were coming?”

  “No.”

  I was relieved her plan hadn’t been to take off for New York or something. But it still wasn’t a good idea to be riding on buses alone until she was legally an adult. “Maybe you should ask your parents if you can go visit her after the school year. You can’t just take off and miss school. You must be really close to graduating.”

  “I am.” She stared out the window. “I just want my mom to notice that I’m upset. But she seems to have forgotten I exist.”

  “So you’re trying to get her attention by running away?” I frowned. “Can’t you just talk to her?”

  “She’s always crying.”

  I swallowed hard. “Well, she’s probably sad because when she got married she never expected to get divorced. Maybe she’s worried about you and how it will affect you.”

  “I doubt it.”

  I sighed. “Lilly, you don’t understand how much pain she’s probably in. The adult thing to do would be to sit her down and talk. Running away is something children do.”

  His face flushed pink. “I’m not a child.”

  “I know.”

  She crossed her arms and didn’t say anything for a few minutes. When she spoke her tone was gruff. “What would I say to her? How would I even bring up a conversation like that?”

  I was shocked she seemed to be listening to me. “Oh, well… be honest. Be open. Sit her down and say how you feel. If she starts to cry, let her.”

  “But I hate to see her cry.” She sniffed, as if maybe she felt emotional.

  “If you run away, you’ll break her heart. It sounds like she has enough to deal with, with your father.”

  She nodded slowly. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”

  I pulled into the school parking lot and I climbed out of the car. She did the same, and we walked toward the administration building. My heart rate was elevated because I planned on taking her straight to Brock’s office. I hadn’t seen him since that night outside the club when he’d expressed how he didn’t want to see me anymore. A part of me was scared to face him, and another a part of me yearned to look at his
handsome face again, and hear his voice.

  When we reached his office, I knocked on the door. Lilly looked nervous, her mouth a tense line. There was no answer, and I knocked again.

  “Oh, can I help you?” Brock’s husky voice came from behind us.

  I turned and found him standing there, pale and thinner than I remembered. I immediately sensed something was different about him. His scent was off. It was slightly more grassy than usual. “Um… hey….” I cleared my throat. “I brought Lilly here to talk to you.”

  He glanced at her and nodded. “Hi, Lilly. Is everything okay?”

  She shrugged. “Probably not.”

  Nodding, he pushed past us and opened his door. “Well, come in.” He met my gaze. “Both of you.”

  The feel of his warm body skirting past mine made my pulse spike. I hated to admit it but I’d missed him. I’d missed him like hell. I was concerned that his scent was different. Was he sick? Was that why he looked so sallow and thin?

  “Sit.” He gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. He moved around and sat, folding his hands on his desk. “What’s going on with you, Lilly?”

  “She was running away.” My voice seemed too loud in the little office.

  He widened his eyes. “Is that true, Lilly?”

  She gave me a grumpy look. “Kind of. I was going to my grandma’s house.”

  “Did you have permission to go?” He narrowed his eyes.

  “No.”

  He pulled his dark brows together. “Lilly, what were you thinking?”

  I leaned forward. “Do you think you could call her mother in for a meeting? That way she and Lilly could have a real heart to heart, but you’d be here to mediate.”

  “Bring my mom in?” Lilly looked panicked. “No. She’ll think I’m in trouble.”

  “But you aren’t,” I said softly. “And you two need to talk. I’m afraid you won’t have the nerve to tell her how you feel unless you’re forced into it.”

  “Well, we don’t want to force anybody to do anything they don’t want.” Brock’s voice was even, and he avoided my gaze. “It’s best when it happens naturally.”

  I couldn’t help but feel like he had a double meaning, but I ignored it. “We can’t have Lilly running away because she’s frustrated with her home life.”

  “No. That’s true.” He met Lilly’s nervous gaze. “Do you want to talk with your mom, but you’re scared?”

  She hesitated and then she slowly nodded. “Yes.” Her voice was hushed. “I don’t want to make things worse.”

  “You were a hair from climbing on a bus just to get away from your problems. I’d say they’re already pretty darn bad.” I frowned.

  She pushed her auburn bangs from her eyes. “I just want her to stop being sad.”

  “From what you’ve told me, Lilly, your parents might split. It’s normal to be sad. I’d be more worried if she wasn’t upset. You should be upset too. It’s allowed. It’s okay. It’s an upsetting thing.” Brock’s tone was gentle.

  I was impressed with how empathetic he seemed and how easily he connected with her. He truly cared. My chest tightened at what a good man he was, and I felt like a fucking idiot for ruining everything with him just because I’d been scared.

  Lilly looked at me. “I… I guess we could talk here if she’ll agree to that.” She bit her lip. “I don’t think I’d have the nerve at home. Besides, dad is there a lot, and he’d probably interrupt us.”

  Brock smiled. “The good thing is you want to talk to her. There are so many kids who wouldn’t want to bother. You value your relationship with your mom and that’s awesome, Lilly. It’s worth saving, and I have little doubt your mom will be relieved to hear how you truly feel.”

  “Do you think so? You don’t think she’ll be mad at me for pestering her?”

  “No. One of the scariest things about being a parent is probably not knowing what our kids are thinking.” He swallowed. “I can imagine parents often feel like they’re doing it all wrong. I… I know I would. Especially if I had to parent by myself. If your dad is a drunk and checked out mostly, your mom must feel alone. That must be a horrible feeling.”

  His voice was so raw with emotion, I had to actually suppress the urge to get up and comfort him. My alpha instincts told me something was wrong with him. I could smell his fear and desolation from across the room, and I wanted to understand what was going on. But I couldn’t comfort him. I had to stay in my seat and pretend everything was fine because Lilly was here. Besides, I didn’t have the right to butt into his business anymore. I’d fucked up and lost what I had with him because I was too chicken shit to acknowledge my real feelings.

  “Okay, let’s do it.” Lilly’s wobbly voice broke into my thoughts. “Will you call her and arrange the appointment?”

  “Of course.” Brock nodded. “I’d be happy to.”

  I studied his angular features as he spoke, feeling confused. What if I told him I’d made a mistake? Would he let me back in? Or would he be too afraid I’d hurt him again? Did I have the nerve to beg for his forgiveness? If he did give me another chance, it would have to be more than just sex. He’d made it clear that wouldn’t be enough. Did I have it in me to try for something real with him? I felt like I wanted that now. I felt like I’d be the luckiest guy in the world if Brock would just look at me the way he had when we’d been together.

  Brock cleared his throat, and I realized Lilly was standing near the door. I got up awkwardly and laughed. “Sorry. Deep in thought.”

  Lilly snorted. “What the heck were you thinking about? I swear, the building could have burned down and you wouldn’t have noticed.”

  My face felt hot. “You should go back to class, Lilly.” I met Brock’s wary gaze. “I need to talk to Mr. Pilot alone.”

  “Oh, okay.” She hesitated and looked at me. “Thanks.”

  I nodded. “Of course.”

  She shifted her gaze to Brock. “And thank you too, Mr. Pilot. You’re pretty cool for a grown up.”

  He laughed gruffly. “I’ll take it.”

  She left the room, closing the door behind her. A tense silence fell once she’d gone. I moved closer to his desk, and he stiffened. “I wanted to talk to you,” I said.

  “So you said.” His jaw was tense.

  I sat back down. “Are you sick?”

  His mouth dropped open slightly. “I’m sorry?”

  “Your scent. It’s off. Are you sick?”

  His face flushed red, and he dropped his gaze. “No.”

  “Something is wrong. There’s no point in pretending with me.”

  “Look, I have stuff to do. If you just want to discuss my health, I don’t really have time for that.” He shuffled some papers on the top of his desk as if making a point.

  I took a deep breath, trying to scrape up my courage. “I… I wanted to tell you that I miss you.”

  His lips pressed tight, and he looked up angrily. “Don’t do that.”

  I frowned. “Do what?”

  “Whatever this is.”

  “I’m trying to say I miss you.”

  “I don’t have the energy for this.”

  I gave a gruff laugh. “For what?”

  “Games.” He hardened his jaw. “I don’t have time for games, Trevor.”

  “I’m not lying. I really do miss you.”

  “So what?” he snapped. “Do you want to hear that I miss you too? So what if I do? You made your position clear and I’ve accepted that. There’s no need for whatever this is you’re doing.”

  I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I just stared, feeling confused.

  He seemed to catch himself, and he winced. “I’m sorry if I seem cold. But I… I want to forget you. I can’t do that if you show up telling me how much you miss me. Have pity on me and go away.”

  My face warmed. “So that’s it? You hate me now?”

  “I don’t hate you.” He leaned back in his chair, looking weary.

  “What if I told you I’d made a
mistake?”

  He scrunched his face up. “Oh, god. Don’t do that, Trevor. If you just want to get laid, there are a bunch of other guys who will oblige you.”

  “I don’t want them.”

  He chuffed. “Yeah. Right.”

  I sighed. “I’m not doing this very well.” I grimaced. “I didn’t plan this. I’ve missed you like crazy, but I didn’t intend on approaching you. But when I saw you today, I guess my pride took a hike or something.”

  “Look.” He bit his lip, studying me. “It’s normal to miss each other. We shared some really good times together.” His voice was emotionless, as if he was talking to a patient. “But I’m too old to chase after a guy who’s afraid of commitment. I know better.”

  “I’ve changed my mind.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “About what?”

  I leaned toward him. “About playing the field.”

  A muscle worked in his jaw. “Right. And once you fuck me again, and satiate that need, you’ll remember you don’t want anything serious. I’m not as experienced as you, but this isn’t my first rodeo either.”

  “You’re wrong about me.” I stood. “Do you think this is easy for me?”

  “No.”

  “I know I went on and on about how I didn’t want a relationship, so I get why you don’t trust this sudden change. But I was scared. Really terrified of how much I liked you. The only reason I went to the club that night was so I could try to get interested in another guy. I thought if maybe I could just fuck some other omega, I would be able to ignore how you made me feel.”

  He covered his ears. “I don’t want to hear the dirty details. What the fuck is wrong with you?” I moved around his desk, and he stood too. We were only a few feet apart and his face was flushed, his mouth pinched. “You should go.”

  “You’re not listening. I’m trying to tell you my little plan backfired. There wasn’t anyone who could capture my attention. I couldn’t take my eyes off you that night.”

  “And what if I hadn’t been there? You’d have hooked up without a thought of me.”

  “No. That’s not true.”