by Beau Brown
“Babies cry a lot and they’re very demanding.”
I squashed my smile. “You have a long time before you even need to think about stuff like babies. You’ve got college and things like that to focus on.”
“True.” She came around the desk to me. “Can I give you a hug?”
“Oh.” I hesitated and then I rose. “I guess so.”
She wound her skinny arms around me. “I’ll miss you. You’re a good listener and you always seem like you care.”
“I do care, Lilly.” I patted her back. “It’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” She sniffed. “I can’t believe I’ll never talk to you again.”
I felt bad that she seemed so sad. “I could give you my number and if you need to talk to me, you can text or call.”
“Really?” She looked excited. “You’d do that?”
“Why not? Have your mother call me tonight so that we have her permission, okay? Even though you’ve turned eighteen now, I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable about you talking to me away from school.”
“I’ll have her call you this evening for sure.” She stepped back, looking slightly less depressed. “I’m so glad we can still talk.”
“Me too.” She was a good kid and I would miss her little visits.
She wiped her eyes. “I’m being such a big baby. I’m not usually like this.”
“Well, we’re friends, right?” I smiled. “Friends like to keep in touch. You can check on my baby progress and I can see how you’re doing.”
“Yes.” She nodded. “That would make me happy.”
“Good.”
“If I’m honest, I’m terrified of going to college. I know I shouldn’t be, but I still am. It would be awful to not be able to talk to you about my experiences there. You always make me feel better after we talk.”
“Then I’m glad we can keep connected. I want the best for you, Lilly, and anything I can do to help, I want to do.”
“I know. I can tell.” She headed to the door and as she opened it, she hesitated. “You’ll make a great dad, Mr. Pilot. You’re a truly special person.”
A lump formed in my throat. “Wow, thank you, Lilly. That means the world to me.”
She laughed. “Well, you know me well enough to know I’m not the kind of person who’d say that if I didn’t mean it.”
I smiled. “That’s very true.”
“Talk to you soon, Mr. Pilot.” She closed the door quietly behind her.
Chapter Fifteen
Trevor
Brock had moved in with me by the time he went out on maternity leave. We’d decided it would be best to move to my place because it was so close to my parents. They’d be naturals to watch the baby for us when needed.
I’d gotten used to waking up with Brock next to me in my bed. I loved the early morning hours before I went to work. I’d lie there and study his handsome face, loving every curve and angle of his features. I wondered if our baby would have his nose or my eyes. I was excited to share my life with him, and eager to meet our unborn child. In other words; I didn’t in any way resemble the old me who’d warned Brock off.
He stirred, wrinkling his brows as he dreamed. I smiled, wanting to kiss him, but not wishing to wake him up. He needed his rest more now than ever. He only had a week left till his due date, and once the baby got here, we both knew sleep would be a precious commodity.
I got out of bed slowly. After I washed up and dressed, I went into the kitchen and started the coffeemaker. I leaned against the kitchen counter and thought about how different my life had been before Brock. I’d thought I was happy sleeping around and never committing to anyone. I’d purposely picked guys as shallow as me to fuck, that way there’d been no complications.
Then I’d run into Brock and everything had changed.
Spending our evenings curled up on the couch, eating dinner and watching movies together had replaced heavy drinking and meaningless sex. I thought about how earth shattering sex was with Brock. The level of intimacy we shared was powerful and almost terrifying. Our souls felt bonded, and I didn’t want to even begin to imagine a world without Brock in it.
I poured cream into my coffee and froze when I heard Brock yell in pain. I raced from the kitchen and found him on the floor, next to the bed. There was a pool of blood between his knees, and he was groaning and clutching his stomach.
“What’s wrong?” I knelt beside him, feeling panicked.
“I don’t know. But something's not right,” he gasped.
I knew the blood wasn’t a good sign, but I didn’t want to scare him. “Can you stand?”
He bit his lip, his face pale and sweaty. “I don’t know.” He cried out and doubled up again, moaning. “Shit.” His body shuddered. “I need to get to the hospital.”
I jumped to my feet. “I know. Can you stand or not?”
He held out a hand to me, but I ignored it and instead moved around behind him, putting my arms under his pits. I grunted and used my legs to get him to his feet. He leaned on me, shivering. “Can you walk at all or should I carry you?”
I got my answer when he passed out and collapsed on me, the full weight of his body almost knocking me over. I somehow managed to stay upright, and I slowly maneuvered him to the bed, laying him gently on the mattress. He was so pale it worried me, but I tried to stay calm and remember my police training. I had two choices, call 911 and sit here waiting for them, or I could take him to the ER myself. I decided on the latter.
I ran and opened the front door and the car door so that I didn’t have to try and do that with him in my arms. Then I raced back to Brock and lifted him into my arms. He was a tall guy to begin with and when you added the extra baby weight, it was a huge challenge to get him firmly in my arms. I prayed my back didn’t give out as I hauled him up and staggered to the door.
He groaned, regaining some form of consciousness. “What’s happening?” His voice was ragged.
I didn’t have the breath to carry him—and talk—so I just kept walking; eyes pinned on the open car door. Once there, I lowered him slowly, straining my muscles, so I didn’t just dump him like a sack of potatoes onto the seat. When I had him on the seat, I pushed his legs in and closed the door. Then I ran back and locked the house, returning to the car with my heart pounding.
Thank god the engine started with no issues and I screeched out onto the main road. I didn’t give a shit about the speed limit. I pressed the gas to the floor and raced toward the hospital like a maniac. Brock wasn’t coherent. He groaned and mumbled, almost in tears from what I assumed was the pain. He wore only boxers and a thin T-shirt and his legs were streaked with blood.
It felt like an hour until I reached the hospital, in reality it was probably no more than ten minutes. I parked in front of the sliding doors of the ER and honked my horn. Then I jumped out of the car and ran inside yelling for help. Two male nurses looked at me like I was nuts at first, but then I guess my words sank in and they followed me outside. Between the three of us, we got Brock out of the car and carried him inside the building.
Another nurse had grabbed a gurney and the two male nurses wheeled Brock away through swinging doors. I tried to follow but the female nurse blocked me.
“I’m sorry. You can’t go in there.” Her voice was firm, and she held out a hand.
“Fuck that. He’s my omega,” I said harshly. “Get out of my way.”
“Sir, you need to listen to me. You can’t go in there right now.”
I felt like screaming at her and shoving her aside, but somehow I held on to my control. “Get out of my way. Now.”
She looked nervous, but she held her ground, shaking her head. “They’re prepping him for emergency surgery. If you go in there, you’ll simply slow them down and distract everybody. Is that really what you want? Let them do their job.”
“I’m not just anybody. I’m a cop.” My voice shook with desperation.
Her mouth softened, “I know, honey. I recognize you. But he doesn�
��t need a cop right now. He needs a doctor, and you’re only going to make things worse if you don’t calm down.”
Tears sprang to my eyes, and I didn’t even care. “You don’t understand.”
“I do. More than you know.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling more terrified than I’d ever felt in my life. Staring down the barrel of a gun had never been as scary as the thought of Brock dying. “I can’t lose him.”
She didn’t say anything. She just stared at me with sympathy, not offering me false words of hope. I wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.
I jumped when someone touched my arm. I looked over to find Harry. He was in his uniform and he had a concerned look. “What’s going on?” His voice was gruff.
Shocked at seeing him, I simply stared, not knowing what to say. Finally I found my voice. “What are you doing here?”
He scowled and gestured with his head toward another door. “Tweaker went into cardiac arrest as we were bringing him in.” He frowned. “Why are you so upset?”
“It’s Brock. He’s hemorrhaging.”
“Shit.” His face tensed. He glanced at the nurse. “He can’t go in? Maybe just for a minute?”
She shook her head. “You two know how it is. How many times have you had to help me keep family members out of there? It goes for you too. Anybody who isn’t on the operating team needs to stay out. You know the drill.”
I turned my back on her, afraid I was about to lose my temper again. I felt helpless, and that made me furious. Harry put his arm around my shoulders and led me away toward some chairs that weren’t near other people. He pushed me into the seat and settled beside me.
“He’s gonna be okay.” He sounded confident, but I knew what he was doing. I’d used that same voice on countless people to keep them calm in an emergency.
“You don’t know that.”
“Okay. Fair enough. But what I do know is this hospital has some of the best surgeons in the state. If he can be saved, they’ll save him.”
“I should be with him.” I gave him a frantic look. “I should be with him just in case.”
“What good would you be? It would just upset him more seeing you like this.”
“You didn’t see how much blood there was. This is really serious, Harry. I’m not over reacting. I’m not.”
His mouth turned down. “I know that, Trevor.”
“He’s my omega and I should be with him.” My voice broke, and I covered my face, trying desperately to hold back the burning tears.
“Shit, Trev.” Harry’s voice wobbled. “You gotta stop thinking the worst.”
I didn’t respond, still covering my face. I felt like puking. My stomach heaved at the thought of Brock dying. I bit my tongue hard, forcing the bile back down. I’d seen enough accidents and injured people to know when a situation was bad. And this was fucking bad. But I also knew Harry was right. I needed to try and calm down. I needed to try and find a grain of hope.
Eventually I dropped my hands to my lap and stared up at the stained ceiling tiles, drained and holding onto my control by a thread. Harry was still beside me, and he squeezed my shoulder without saying anything. When I felt like I could speak without bursting into tears, I called my mother and told her what was happening.
“I’m on my way.” She said those four words and then she hung up.
Twenty minutes later she came into the ER, her hair messy and her shirt buttoned wrong. She headed straight for me, and when I stood, she hugged me hard. I started to cry the minute her arms came around me. I was humiliated at losing my shit in public, but the tears just kept flowing and the sobs wracked my body.
My emotions were a mix of things. I wasn’t only sad and scared, I was also so angry I could barely breathe. I’d just found Brock again and I might lose him? I couldn’t get my head around that. I couldn’t understand why that might even happen to me. To us. To anyone. What was the point of loving someone if they could just be ripped away so easily?
After a while I had no tears left to shed. I straightened and wiped my puffy face with a tissue my mom handed me. Harry wasn’t there anymore; he was over by the desk talking to the nurses. I didn’t know if he’d left to go get info, or if he was embarrassed to be associated with a huge cry baby like me. I couldn’t blame him if he was uncomfortable around me right now. I was acting like an emotional idiot.
My mom and I sat, and she rubbed my shoulders. “Honey, I know you’re scared, but I just feel like he’s going to be okay.”
I sniffed and shook my head. “You didn’t see how much blood there was. He couldn’t even walk and he was unconscious.”
She swallowed loudly. “Well, okay. But I hemorrhaged when I had you. And I was okay.”
I glanced at her. “You did?”
“Yep.” She nodded. “I was scared, so I understand why you are too. But you have to hope for the best and trust the doctors know what they’re doing.”
“I’m trying.” I exhaled a tired breath.
Harry walked back toward us. “They have him stabilized.”
I straightened. “They do? Are you sure?”
“That’s what the head nurse said.”
“What does that mean, stabilized?” I asked, a spark of hope taking root in my gut. “Does that mean he’s out of the woods?”
“I don’t know for sure. What I do know is they’ve stopped the bleeding and they’re going to do a Cesarean.”
My mom straightened. “That’s good right?”
“I think so.” Harry shifted uneasily. “I couldn’t get much more out of the nurse. She wasn’t willing to give me odds or anything.”
“Well, she’s not a bookie.” My mom frowned.
He grimaced. “I know. I just thought since she’s been doing this a while, maybe she could let us know if this kind of situation usually has a good outcome or not.”
“If they’ve stopped the bleeding and they’re focused on the baby, I’m going to take that as a good sign.” She grabbed my hand. “Let’s try a little positive energy, okay?”
“Okay.” It was a struggle to force that one little word from my lips. But I hoped my mom was right. I just wanted Brock and the baby safe. I wanted the bright future I’d glimpsed with Brock to come true.
Chapter Sixteen
Brock
When I opened my eyes, it took me a second to remember where I was. Then the memory of Trevor driving me to the hospital came rushing back. I tried to sit up and a stabbing pain seared through my abdomen. I groaned and collapsed back against the sheets.
The baby.
A nurse appeared beside me. “It’s okay. You’re going to be fine.”
“The baby.” My voice was more of a croak because my throat was dry as a bone.
“He’s doing simply dandy. You had a caesarian section. Let’s just make sure you don’t bust open your staples, okay?” She patted my shoulder.
“Where’s Trevor?”
She sighed. “Oh, he’s champing at the bit to get in here, don’t you worry.” She moved to the door. “Don’t move and I’ll go get your alpha.”
I nodded. I wasn’t in any hurry to move again. The pain I’d just felt was a good deterrent. My lower stomach ached where the incision was, and I tried to relax a little because she’d said the baby was okay. However, I really, really wanted to see Trevor. Even though I’d been in and out of consciousness, I had a distinct memory of him freaking out. I needed him to know I was okay.
It took a while but eventually the same nurse came through the doorway pushing a bassinet on wheels. Right behind her was Trevor. His face was haggard and pale, but the second he saw me he bolted around her to my bed.
He clutched my hand and leaned in to kiss me. When he lifted his head, he had tears in his eyes. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”
“What happened exactly?” My voice was hoarse.
“There was a rupture in the omega birth canal.” He swallowed hard. “You lost a lot of blood and you almost died.
They had to give you a transfusion.”
“Shit.” I stared at him in disbelief.
“They aren’t sure why you hemorrhaged, but getting you here fast saved your life.”
“God. I barely remember any of it.”
“I’ll never forget.” His tone was grim.
Soft cooing sounds to the right of me caught my attention. When I glanced over the nurse was lifting a bundle with wiggling arms and legs.
She approached and set the infant on my chest. “Say hello to your son.”
I met the blue gaze of my child feeling awed. “Hey, little guy.” I touched his tiny fingers, glancing up at Trevor. “Have you seen him already?”
He smiled. “Yes. I spent that last hour holding him and trying to feed him. I’m not very good at it yet. My mom had to take over.”
“You’ll get there.” The nurse laughed.
He sighed and leaned closer. “To be fair, I was super distracted with worrying about you.”
“I think I’m fine.”
“You’d better be. I can’t live with the alternative.”
I swallowed hard and looked down at the child. “I can’t believe this is our baby. He’s actually finally here.”
“I know.” Trevor smiled weakly. “I’m a little upset with him for almost killing you… but he is cute.”
I studied the baby’s chubby cheeks. “I’m in awe.”
“He has your nose,” Trevor said.
“You think so?” I tickled the baby’s nose. “I think he looks like you.”
“He looks like both of you.” The nurse smiled and headed to the door.
“She’s very diplomatic.” Trevor smirked.
I kissed the infant’s forehead. “Are you happy it’s a boy?”
“I’m just thankful you’re both okay.” He scowled. “I kind of lost my shit when I brought you in. Luckily Harry was here, and he helped calm me down.”
“Harry was here?”
“Yeah, he’d brought in a druggie who had a heart attack or something. It was a coincidence, but I’m glad he was here. I wasn’t myself.” He ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I was definitely not okay.”
