"Tracy," Mrs. Jones said.
Tracy was frozen in her seat. She could not believe he had actually been considerate enough to get her a carnation.
"And Tracy again! Thank you," Mrs. Jones said.
The delivery girls dropped off a few arrangements for Mrs. Jones and a shy girl in the front of the room. Tracy walked up to pick up her flowers. She looked at the attached cards: three came from Chloe and a dozen were from ANONYMOUS. Anonymous? Why would MD sign the card anonymous? They were in a relationship. She stared at the word, but it did not look like his writing. He could have let the girl at the table write it for him.
Tracy left the flowers on Mrs. Jones' desk. She did not want to get bogged down carrying them all day long. As much as she wanted the flowers, she did not want the attention.
Chemistry class seemed to have doubled in size. It looked like the first day of class. Was there a test Tracy had forgotten about? She sat between her two friends who had saved her usual seat.
"Do we have a test?" Tracy asked.
"Extra credit," Chloe said.
"What?"
"We finished all our experiments early this marking period so Mr. Shafer said any experiments we do from now until the end of the marking period count as extra credit."
"When did he say that?"
"Last class. I think you were sleeping."
"Thanks for the heads-up."
"You come to every class and you already have an A."
"How do you know?"
"He posted the grades on the board. Didn't you check?"
"I didn't know he posted them."
"Yeah."
Tracy had been completely out of it. Staying up all night doing homework was taking a toll on her. She was trading her afternoon nap time to entertain Sabrina. The only time she could catch up on her sleep was in school which was becoming a problem. At least her grades were not suffering.
"Where's your flowers?" Chloe asked.
"Oh yeah, thanks. I didn't want to carry them all day so I left them in my homebase. You know I got a dozen from some anonymous person."
"A secret admirer?"
"Maybe."
Tracy began to wonder if it was John who had sent the bouquet. He was being very quiet, but he also sat with Tracy during lunch. He couldn't have gone up there without her seeing him. Tracy did not have many other friends. There were a few random classmates she spoke to and Chloe's friends, but those girls were too selfish to do anything like that for her. Even if they did, they would want recognition so they would have signed their names. It was odd, but it was such a big school that she would probably never get to the bottom of it.
When Tracy got into the house she put her wilting flowers in a vase and got started on her homework. It was cutting into her time with Sabrina, but she wanted to end the marking period on a good note. Half-way through her assigned reading of Fences she got a call from MD. Tracy hesitated to pick up the phone. He had ignored her most of the day. What was the point in calling now?
"Hello?" Tracy answered.
"Hey, I gotta tell you something."
She was annoyed at first but he sounded pretty serious. Could he have been the anonymous giver?
"Yeah?"
"I kind of cheated."
"What?"
Tracy was shocked. Who called to tell someone they cheated? She cheated on him all the time but never called to admit it. Why was he doing this?
"I went to the movies with my ex-girlfriend. I had fun and we kissed. We didn't have sex, but we've hung out a couple times."
The phone was silent. Was he done? What was she supposed to say now? The whole thing sounded odd but not exactly like cheating. Tracy had done much worse repeatedly over the past week and never felt any need to include him on the details. Maybe he already knew what she had been doing and this led him to seek out his own ex.
"Okay."
"Okay? That's it?"
"I don't know what to say. I guess we break up now?"
"I cheated on you and you don't even care?"
"I can't say I didn't see this coming. This isn't the first time this has happened to me. Do you want to work it out or something or are we done here?"
"You're such a bitch."
"I'm not. I just have a lot of homework and you're calling me to tell me you kissed a girl and hung out with her. It doesn't seem like a huge thing, but if you want to be with her that's cool. I've been through worse."
"Wow."
The words were cruel, but she had gotten so tired of MD that it was not hard to dismiss him. This was a good enough excuse and why shouldn't she take it? He was cold throughout most of their relationship. She was no better with him.
"It's no big deal. I'm over it already. Talk to you later."
She heard the phone cut out before he said good-bye, but she was relieved. It was like a giant brick lifted off of her chest. Tracy had been planning an exit strategy since they started the relationship. It felt good to be done. Plus, Sabrina was waiting.
Chapter 13
Tracy's bus got them to school later than usual. She made it to through the metal detectors just as the second bell rang. There was no time to zip up her bag. She had to make it to homebase before they started the hall sweep or she would be stuck in detention again. Mrs. Jones was sipping her coffee when Tracy arrived.
"Good morning!"
"Good morning."
Tracy found her seat, relieved she didn't have to show a pass. She scanned through her chemistry notes. They had a test coming up in a few days and she wanted to be prepared. All the distractions in her life lately were ruining her focus. Now that MD was out of the picture she could get back to worrying about what really mattered. Sabrina was a slight distraction, but it did not bother Tracy to etch out some time for her because Sabrina made her happy. She did not ask for much except time and that was something Tracy did not mind giving her.
They're relationship was still a big secret. Tracy never brought it up to anyone. She had not met any of Sabrina's friends or family members. Sabrina sometimes spoke about her mother, but Tracy had only seen the woman in pictures. It was like they were good friends. That is how Tracy explained it to her mother and Janet never questioned it.
On the way to Chemistry Tracy stopped in the bathroom to pin up her hair. It had gotten frizzy from the snow and kept falling in her eyes. A couple girls walked in the bathroom behind her and stopped talking when she turned to face them. Then they burst into laughter as they walked past. She turned back to the mirror and went on with her hair. Once it was in place she left the giggling girls standing in front of the sinks.
Tracy made it to Chemistry before the bell rang and found her seat. Chloe was penciling in her notebook.
"Hey, Chlo."
"Hey."
"You okay?"
"Yeah."
Chloe looked nervous, but Tracy wasn't sure why. She took her notebook out of her bag and opened a fresh page while she waited on Mr. Shafer to start the lecture. When she looked up at the front door she saw MD coming in with his friends. He looked at her and sneered. Tracy turned to Chloe to see if she had seen what Tracy saw, but Chloe just looked down at the desk.
"What the hell?" Tracy asked.
"He's mad, but I wouldn't worry about it. You guys were dating for a while."
"Why should I be worried?"
Tracy wondered how Chloe knew they had broken up. This was the first time they saw each other all day. Had MD really gone to tell on her? She couldn't imagine he was that petty.
"He told me what you did," Chloe said.
"What did I do?"
"I don't want to say it out loud."
"Write it down."
Chloe scribbled in her notebook for a while and Tracy waited to read the news. It couldn't be anything positive. When Chloe finished writing her paragraph she passed it to Tracy.
MD called me last night and told me that you two had sex and you were a freak. He said you slept around with a bunch of guys he knows and you br
oke up with him last night. He said you didn't even care. You were a bitch to him and you never loved him.
Tracy looked at the note for a while before facing her friend.
"You believe him?" Tracy asked.
"I don't know what went on between you two. You don't ever talk about it."
"Mohammed is an ass and most of what he said is not true. We had sex, but we were in a relationship so I thought I was safe. The rest of what he said is a lie, but if that's what he wants people to think I don't care."
"So you didn't cheat on him?"
Tracy looked at her friend blankly. She had cheated on Mohammed but not with a bunch of guys. The story of what happened with the two of them was too long to explain during this Chemistry class and Tracy wasn't sure she wanted Chloe to know the gory details anyway. It might clear her name to a certain extent but more than likely it would further incriminate her. Chloe wasn't ready to know the truth anyway. She had barely been kissed.
"I told him some things about my past. Now he wants to use it against me, but he hasn't been boyfriend of the year himself."
"He made it seem like you were mistreating him. Did you really tell him you didn't love him?"
"I said 'I am not going to say I love you unless I am sure' and I wasn't sure. Three months is too quick to say you love someone anyway. I've dated people for longer that I had stronger feelings for and even then I didn't say 'I love you.' He should be glad I didn't lie to him. Wouldn't that be worse?"
"Like I said, you guys were dating for a while. You could have done worse."
What exactly was that supposed to mean? Whose side was Chloe on? Every time there was an altercation, Chloe always chose the other person's point of view. She never defended Tracy. Why were they even friends?
Tracy was fuming when she came into the cafeteria, but she did not want to hide or run away. That would only make people believe what Mohammed was saying was true. Tracy had no reason to hide. Mohammed was a coward. He had gotten his heart broken and instead of taking it like a man, he went around the school gossiping. Tracy couldn't believe how immature he was being. She found her usual table with John and sat down waiting for him to chime in with his thoughts about the rumors.
"You think you're ready for the test?" John asked.
Was he going to pretend he had not heard or was it that he really didn't care? Tracy looked at her friend and smiled because she was happy he wasn't forcing her to talk about it.
"I stated studying last night, but after today's review I'm not so sure. I might have to come meet Mr. Shafer during homebase."
"Yeah, I think I'm almost ready. I just need to do a little more memorizing and I'll be fine."
"Thank you for not bringing up. . . .you know what Chloe was talking about."
"I heard about it this morning, but I knew it wasn't true. I know you better than that."
"Really? So you believe me?"
"I don't think it's anything to lie about and like I said before, Mohammed is a scumbag. I don't know why you were with him in the first place. He talks a whole lot like a female. I can't understand it."
"I don't know what I was thinking. I got bored I guess."
"You have too much going for yourself to get caught up with a guy like that. He'll never be anything in life. You shouldn't even be upset. You know who you are."
Tracy had never heard John speak so highly of her. She was glad he had been paying attention because her best friend at school couldn't even see that. It was a good thing she switched lunch tables when she did. Chloe wondered why Tracy did not tell her anything, but today she had proven yet again that she couldn't be trusted.
After school Tracy got right into her homework. Her head was full of everything that Chloe had said, what Mohammed had supposedly said, the looks she got in the hallway, the frowns of disappointment. She couldn't stop reliving it. It had been one of the most embarrassing days and she wanted to crawl into bed and stay there. She didn't know if she could go back to school for another day of torment. Why couldn't she change schools or move or anything to get out of there? Janet would never understand though and explaining it would mean she was giving the incident more life. You shouldn't be offended. You know who you are. Remembering John's words helped her calm down. She knew the truth and she hadn't done anything she was ashamed of. That was what really mattered.
Tracy decided to call Sean to vent about the whole thing. She wouldn't be able to get through her homework until she got this off her mind.
"Are you serious?" Sean asked.
"Yes. I can't believe this is happening to me right now. I never do anything and then I finally try to have some fun and the whole thing backfires on me."
"I know you didn't sleep with a bunch of guys. That's just ridiculous, but why would he say all that stuff? And what's wrong with being a freak? I'd take that as a compliment."
"You're a mess. If I had slept around I would own up to it. I don't even care, but I'm just mad because I didn't do those things. He cheated on me, called to brag about it, and then gets mad when I break it off with him. I mean, isn't that what he wanted? Why else would he tell on himself like that?"
"Because he's a damn fool! Maybe he thought you would cry or something."
"He knows I wasn't in love with him. He manipulated that whole thing."
"Whatever. I believe you, but I just don't get why Chloe doesn't. She should know better than to take his word for it. Guys will always lie about sex."
"This is what burns me up about Chloe. She never takes my side."
"Girl, even if I knew he was telling the truth I would have still denied it because you're my friend. I'm not gonna let him talk about you like that!"
"Right! Chloe listened to him and didn't even call me to let me know what happened. She's such a fake bitch."
"I told you she was fake last year!"
Tracy was glad her real friends knew the truth. The rest of the school was not relevant. Hearing Sean's opinion really put it in perspective. Chloe was someone Tracy should distance herself from because she did not have her best interest at heart.
The weather was beginning to get better which made the walks to Sabrina's house easier. Sabrina was always eager to see Tracy and this was motivation enough. It had been a long day, but Tracy needed to be around someone who adored her and made her feel like no one else mattered.
Sabrina was already in her sweats, but she did not lead Tracy to her bedroom. She brought her to the kitchen instead.
"What the heck are you doing?" Tracy asked.
"I know I won't see you on your birthday so I made you cupcakes today instead."
Talk about a pick-me-up. Sabrina was full of surprises. She had baked twelve cupcakes and frosted them pink and blue. Tracy had forgotten her birthday was coming with all the drama that was going on.
"You had time for this?"
"I made time."
"I thought you weren't domesticated?"
"I'm doing this for you and you're complaining?"
"I'm not. I love it."
Tracy pulled Sabrina close and hugged her tightly.
"You have no idea how much I needed this."
Janet was sitting in the dining room on the phone when Tracy came in. Tracy tried to slip by her mother and creep off to her room.
"Tracy!"
Caught.
"Yes?"
"What do you want for your birthday?"
"My driver's license."
"You can get that on your own."
"I can't afford that."
"You don't have any money?"
Tracy had been saving her allowance up for a while but Janet did not know that.
"No."
"You don't want to do anything for your birthday?"
"We can go to dinner."
"Okay. I'll arrange something for Saturday."
Tracy was taken aback. Everyone had remembered her birthday except for her. Some of her classmates were having sweet sixteen parties, but Tracy did not have enough friends to
throw a big bash. She didn't want the extra attention anyway. She had gotten the perfect gift already.
"Where are you coming from anyway?"
"Sabrina's."
"You sure do spend a lot of time over there."
"I guess."
Janet swiveled back around in the chair letting Tracy off the hook. Tracy had to be more careful. Her mother was watching more closely than she had first imagined but she could have never guessed what was really going on.
Friday night came and Tracy wanted to go over Sabrina's after school, but Sabrina's mother was off on Friday and Saturday afternoons. Tracy didn't even like to call Sabrina when her mother was home. It gave the girls a little break until Monday. Sometimes Tracy wondered what might happen if she did visit Sabrina when her mother was there. Would the woman even be suspicious? Tracy's mother had asked about Sabrina, but she did not appear to know much.
Sean called while Tracy was watching television.
"I have great news," he said.
"What?"
"Max moved and he is on my bus now. And you know what else?"
"What?"
"He asked me how you were doing. I told him I was coming over for your birthday dinner and he asked if I would give him your number."
"Shut up!"
"I'm serious!"
"He rides your bus? I wonder where he lives."
"Not far. He is the bus stop before mine. Anyway, I gave him your number."
"I can't believe you did that."
"You know you want to talk to him."
Tracy was excited to hear the news. She had started to forget about Max, but he was still thinking of her. She sat back thinking about why he wanted to talk to her again. Could she really be this lucky?
After cleaning the house Saturday morning, Tracy started looking for something to wear to the dinner. It was an early dinner and they had to leave to get Sean before it started. All the outfits looked like they had been worn one thousand times. Nothing was good enough. It's only Applebee's, she tried to remind herself.
Moving On Without You Page 10
