Her Secret

by Tara Fox Hall

  I took a deep breath, and then made myself hug him. “You are enough,” I said softly. “What we have is enough.” Silently, I hoped to God that it would be.

  * * * *

  I woke up the next morning to the ringing of the phone. “What the hell time is it?” Theo grumbled beside me.

  I looked groggily at the clock. “Seven,” I said, sighing. “We’ve overslept. We’ll never be at Danial’s by eight, not and have time to shower and have breakfast.”

  The phone continued to ring. Theo crawled over to the end of the bed and swiped it off the dresser. “Yeah,” he said grumpily into the receiver. “She’s right here.”

  I took the phone from him. “Danial?”

  “No one let me know how you were. It’s been twenty four hours.”

  “I’m okay. I don’t feel any different.”

  Theo picked up the phone in the living room.

  “Then can you come today sometime?” Danial asked. “I know I told you to take a few days off, but Elle’s been asking for you.”

  “That’s strange,” Theo said with a hint of sarcasm. “She never has before.”

  “She had a nightmare last night,” Danial said coldly. “She didn’t tell me much, but I gather Sar was hurt in it badly, if not killed. The attacker was a vampire.”

  “I’m sorry,” Theo said quietly. “Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine. She won’t admit it, but I think the vampire in her dream was attacking her, too. I’m guessing this is residue from Manir’s attack. She’s never mentioned anything prior to this about being afraid of vampires, ever.”

  “We’ll be there in a little while,” Theo said darkly. “Do you have any news on Manir’s location?”

  “I might, if you ask me nicely.”

  “Look, I deserve that for my earlier comment, but knock off the attitude. We have enough problems without snarling at one another.”

  “I agree,” Danial replied. “Get here as soon as you can.”

  * * * *

  Two hours later, we arrived at Danial’s house. Elle ran out to greet us, hurling herself into my arms.

  “Mom! Want to go for a walk?”

  I hugged her. “Sure, Honey.”

  Theo came around the truck in a rush and grabbed her. “Can I come, too?” he said, tickling her. She laughed, squirming all over, trying to get away. “Or is this a girls’ only outing?”

  “No,” she said seriously. “You can come. I just thought you had duty tonight, so you had to rest all day.”

  “Who said that?” Theo asked.

  “Brian was talking to Danial.”

  Theo shot a look to me. “Why don’t you go ahead with Mom, Elle? I’ll catch up to you.”

  Elle grabbed my hand and began leading me down the path. With bird guide in hand, she began showing me not only many birds, but also the tracks of many other animals in the moist forest floor.

  “You’re very smart,” I said proudly. “There aren’t many kids your age who know as much as you do.”

  “What do other kids do?” she asked.

  Watch TV and play video games. “Waste their time with things that don’t matter.”

  “I wish I had more friends.”

  “You will,” I said quickly. “Aran Jr.’s getting older, and your brother—”

  “I want girl friends,” Elle said peevishly. “They’re boys.”

  That was impossible right now. Elle had to be closely guarded, as she was an easy way to get to Danial and Theo, not to mention me. “We’ll see about you getting those dance lessons you talked about, okay?”

  “Yes!” Elle shouted. “Can I really?”

  “Maybe,” I said mischievously. “If you’re good and study hard. Now, what track is that?”

  “A deer. A doe by the weight in the press of snow, and young.”

  “This one?”

  “A raccoon,” she said, pointing to the small hand print type of trail in the snow.

  “And this one?” I said, pointing to a fox track.

  She shot me a perfect copy of Theo’s long-suffering look. “That’s Warren,” she said as if it was obvious. “Now what about the lessons?”

  “I’ll talk to your dad about it, if you’ll tell me about this dream you had.”

  “There was a bad vampire attacking,” she said fearfully. “It was you and me alone. You fought, but he...he turned you.”

  “Are you afraid of that happening to me with Danial?”

  “No,” Elle said quickly. “But in the dream, when you turned...you came after me.”

  “That’s all movie hype,” I said confidently, hoping like hell I was right. “When someone becomes a vampire they aren’t suddenly ravening beasts. That’s a plot device so that characters can do bad things and then say they had a good reason for that because they weren’t in control of themselves.”

  “How can you know?” Elle said searchingly. “You’ve never seen anyone turned.”

  “I’ve been in a position before when I wasn’t in control of myself,” I uttered, blushing. “I would not have hurt you, even then. Also, I’ve heard the story of how Danial and Devlin became vampire and there was no murder or mayhem in it, at least committed by them.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Sure enough to assure you that your dream isn’t in danger of coming true. Now let’s head back. I’m freezing.”

  * * * *

  When we returned to Danial’s house, Theo was waiting for me, his expression stony.

  “What is it?”

  “Manir has been seen north of here. Danial wants someone to investigate and take him out if he’s there.”

  “Does it have to be you who goes?”

  “I want to go, Sar. He was going to take you that night. I owe him for that.”

  “Will you kill him, Theo?” Elle asked bluntly.

  Theo went to a crouch beside her. “Elle, he tried to hurt your mom, and your half-brother. He’ll try again, unless someone stops him. The best way to do that is to kill him.”

  “Please kill him,” Elle said seriously. “I don’t want him to hurt Mom or me.”

  He hugged her to him. “He won’t be hurting anyone ever again. I’ll make sure of that.”

  So much for his big vow never to leave me alone again. “Should I stay here tonight then? I feel fine, but I haven’t seen Danial yet to test out how well, um....I am.”

  “No.” Picking up Elle, he rose to his feet. “Brian is going to take you home, and stay there with you. Should anything happen, anything at all, he has instructions to call Terian and for Terian to teleport you to Danial’s home.”

  “Let me down,” Elle said, squirming. “I see some tracks over there that look like bobcat.”

  Elle ran off. Theo and I walked after her slowly.

  “I wish she would let me hold her longer,” Theo said regretfully.

  “She’s not a baby anymore,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. “But you know she loves you.”

  “I know. Most of the time that’s enough. But I still think about what I missed out on sometimes.”

  I squeezed his shoulder with my hand, but didn’t speak. There was nothing to say.

  We walked along, taking our time getting back, and enjoyed perfect autumn scenery. The oak trees alone retained their leaves, their spreading branches white in places from the stubborn patches of snow.

  Brian was waiting for me in one of the Expeditions when we returned.

  “Let me grab my bag,” I said to him.

  “Got it already,” he answered.

  I turned to Theo. “Are you leaving now?”

  “Are you?” he said quickly.

  My eyes narrowed. “Are you going to give me a hard time if I don’t?”

  “No,” he responded. “But I’d prefer you saw Danial with me present.”

  I changed topics. “Is anyone going with you?”

  “No, I’m going alone. This isn’t an assault, Sar. It’s an assassination.”

  No shit. “Be car
eful,” I said, hugging him. “Come back to me when it’s done.”

  “I’ll come back to you,” he said softly. “Stephen gave me some names. We have an appointment next week with a counselor.”

  “Good,” I said, mustering a smile.

  “Get going,” Theo said, giving me a quick kiss. “Brian’s waiting.”

  I wanted to see Danial, but maybe it was better to give the meds another day to work. “Bye.” I walked over, and got into Brian’s truck. “Are you sure you’re all set?”

  “Yes,” Brian said, starting the SUV. “I’ve got my bags packed, and Demi knows your number for any emergencies.”

  I hadn’t talked to Brian much since the night he’d almost died trying to save me. I felt awkward with a capital A, especially about his poor wife. “How’s she doing?”

  “Better, now she’s living here with me,” Brian replied quietly. “Devlin didn’t mistreat her, but Demi understood what his plan was and her part in it.”

  I sat quietly as he drove, trying to think of something to say back and failing.

  “Want to listen to music?” Brian said after a few minutes, breaking the silence.

  “Sure,” I said, relieved.

  He turned on the radio. I turned the dial as he drove, finally finding a station that was playing light love songs. The very end of J. Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” was playing.

  I knew I should turn it off. Instead, like a drug addict that sees another high in sight, my hand moved to the dial and turned it up.

  “You like this song?” Brian asked, glancing at me.

  I didn’t answer him, lost in the music as I sung the end quietly. “—but it’s time to face the truth: I will never be with you.”

  “You have a good voice,” Brian said when it ended. “Devlin taught you well.”

  I didn’t reply.

  “He’ll be happy to know you’re missing him.”

  Chapter Four

  I turned to him, gaping. “What?”

  “You heard me,” Brian said simply. “I meant no offense.”

  “Then what did you mean?”

  “It’s been obvious for most of the past two years that he was obsessed with you. It’s equally obvious that you’re now obsessed with him. I can guess what happened when he rescued you.”

  I went beet red, pointedly looking away from him as I switched off the stereo. “Don’t talk to me anymore about this.”

  “Okay,” Brian said, and fell silent.

  We passed the rest of the way home without words, my anger building with every mile. I’d taken the high road: not called Devlin or contacted him. That meant I could long for him all I wanted secretly without judgment from my guards.

  When we arrived at my house, I quickly got out and hurried to the door. Brian got there first and blocked me from entering. “I need to check it first. Wait here.”

  A moment later, he was back. “All set.”

  I glared at him angrily. “I need to walk the dogs as soon as I’ve eaten.”

  “I’ll go with you. Let me call in first, and tell them we got here safely.” He flipped open his phone and began dialing.

  I went about making a sandwich, trying to ignore him. Then I gave a big sigh and let my irritation go. It was too much effort to stay angry, and it wasn’t important anyway.

  “Do you want a sandwich?” I called to Brian.

  “Sure,” he called back. “Lots of meat, please.”

  As I assembled the easy meal of sandwiches, pickles, chips, and sodas, I sang the song’s refrain over several times. Turning with the plates, I stopped in mid-note, startled by Brian. He was right behind me, his phone to his ear.

  “I almost tripped over you,” I chastised.

  Brian looked up at me, then back down, nodding. “Yes.”

  “Tell Danial you’ll call him back, or lose your meal.”

  “I’ve got to go eat,” he said into the receiver. “If anything happens, I’ll report it.” He closed his phone with a click, then joined me at the table. “Thanks for making this. You didn’t have to.”

  “It’s no big deal making two instead of one.”

  “Look, I can scent your irritation. Please forget what I said earlier. It wasn’t my place.”

  Damn right it wasn’t. “I was just surprised.”

  He nodded, but didn’t say anything.

  “You don’t like Devlin, do you? The hostage-taking aside, of course.”

  “Like doesn’t come into my work relations.”

  “Okay, why work for him in the first place?”

  Brian sighed. “I should have checked into his background better before going to work for him. I was in love with Demi, and I wanted to protect her. He was the biggest name in the U.S. to work for then, the most feared with the best pay. At first, it was great.” He ate another bite of sandwich, and then continued. “Demi was safe at his estate, and I was around most of the time, when I wasn’t off driving for him. She and I were both happy, pretty much right up until the time he first asked me to apply for a job here, and told me the reason he was asking.”

  “Is that what you did for him? You were a driver?” He’d shown too much compassion for Erin the night Manir attacked to be a professional bodyguard.

  “Pretty much. I didn’t have enough experience for anything beyond that.” His smile faded. “Devlin wanted me to get some, though,” he added grimly.

  “Doesn’t he have enough other people working for him that are willing to get their hands bloody?” I asked sarcastically.

  “He has mostly grizzly weres working for him, because that’s his emblem. But he has others, too, and no, they’re not afraid to get their hands dirty.”

  The way he said “others” made me think these weren’t humans or weres. “What others?”

  Brian looked away. “He has a demon working for him. A full one, not half like Terian. That evil feeling is present all the time around him. And he has a sorceress, too,” he continued. “She can be worse than the demon, when she gets her mind to it.”

  “Worse than a demon how?”

  Brian didn’t answer, just met my eyes for a moment and dropped them again.

  Oiy. “Which is his second in command?” I asked, curious.

  “Neither,” Brian said, visibly uncomfortable.

  “Then who is?”

  “I’m not going to talk about him,” Brian said flatly. “You can count yourself lucky if you never meet him.”

  Okay, moving on immediately. “So Demi is okay now?”

  “She’s settling in. Everyone’s been really friendly, which helps. The sorceress, Leri, was the only woman at Devlin’s estate, and she wasn’t.”

  “That couldn’t be accident, so what’s the reason? Does Devlin not trust women as guards?”

  “Devlin likes women, but he prefers them in his bed, as you know.” I flushed to my toes, and he continued. “It’s because of the demon and his witch. Leri’s very jealous of other women. Vince, one of the other werebears, once said that Titus put up with Leri only because she was the only woman who would tolerate his evil nature.”

  I cleared the dishes. “So none stay because they’re either scared of him or her?”

  “Pretty much, Sarelle.”

  “Brian, why don’t you call me Sar?” I said, loading the dishwasher. “We’ve fought off attacks and you saved my life. It’s odd to hear you keep saying my full name. ”

  “Devlin said if I ever called you Sar in front of him, he’d have my pelt,” Brian replied. “It’s habit now.”

  His tone made the double meaning obvious. “He thinks what happened with Theo and I could happen with you and me?” I said neutrally.

  Brian shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to him that I’m happily married to Demi, or that we’ve always treated each other professionally. He said I’d better always think of you as Sarelle, or else.”

  Had Devlin said that out of defensiveness of Danial, or out of his own jealousy? I’d probably never know. I flipped on the dishwasher, a
nd turned to him. “Ready to walk?”

  “Sure.”

  Ghost and Darkness were a little leery of Brian, keeping their distance from him on the walk, while managing to stay between him and me. Though the woods were beautiful with dazzling fresh snow crystals, I didn’t notice, too wrapped up in thoughts of Devlin.

  About seven, I dropped exhausted into the nearest armchair. I’d spent hours cleaning and then putting away the many Halloween decorations. Brian was napping in the basement bedroom in preparation for night guard duty.

  The phone rang at seven. Instead of Theo, it was my mother-in-law, Brennan’s mother, calling from Wyoming.

  We made polite conversation for a few moments, then she said out of the blue, “We’d like to see you, and Theo, too.”

  She’d been accepting of my new marriage since her time in therapy, but this was a whole new level. “You’re sure?”

  “We want to see you,” she said hesitantly. “He’s part of your life now. It’s good you have someone again. Maybe next summer?”

  Why not go? Theo and I could use a summer vacation, and we could hopefully take Elle with us. “I’ll ask him when he gets home from work.”

  We talked for a while longer, and then I hung up, promising to tell her the moment I made travel plans.

  Danial called a few minutes later. “How are you feeling?” he asked immediately.

  “I feel fine. Nothing seems different.”

  “Good,” he said, relieved.

  “Any word from Theo?”

  “No, but there won’t be for hours, maybe not until tomorrow evening. It’ll take him some time just to get where he’s going, and more to discover the best means of getting Manir. Don’t worry.”

  “There’s more isn’t there? Theo plans on torturing him, doesn’t he?”

  “Yes. He blames him for you being taken and for what he thinks happened to you later. Manir is going to pay for all of it, for as long as Theo can make it last, anyway.”

  I didn’t comment, both sickened and oddly satisfied.

  “Brian is there, watching over you?” Danial continued.

  “Yes. Everything has been quiet.”