Come and Talk to Me

by June Kramin

  “You can’t be in here ma’am,” she said. Someone grabbed her arm, but she shook it free.

  “No!” She held Van’s arm with one hand and held his face with the other. She leaned in close to him.

  “Come on, soldier. Time to get cracking,” she said, gently shaking him. “We have a long night ahead of us. You know how you hate not being able to feel your legs when you wake up.” She gave his lips a kiss to the side of the tube. “Come on, my love. There’s nothing that gets the best of you. Fight it.” She gave him another kiss. The surgery staff stood in shock. “Fight it!” she screamed louder, shook him harder.

  The doctor walked in and with a nod, the staff took the cue to leave. “We did everything we could.” He placed his hand on her shoulder, but again she shook it away.

  “You killed him.”

  “No, he just gave up.”

  “Liar!” She turned around and slapped the doctor’s face hard. She wilted onto Van’s chest and finally cried. “No. No, you’re not leaving me.”

  “Is there someone I can call for you?”

  “Leave me alone!”

  “I can’t let you leave here like this alone. I need to call someone.”

  “Go to hell.” Her head remained flat on Van’s chest, but her hands went up to his face. From there, she ran her fingers through his hair then left them there, laced within his locks. Only days ago, she reprimanded him for not keeping the haircut appoint she had made. Now grateful, she ran her fingers through it again, brought her face to his and kissed his cheek. She rested her cheek to his and whispered into his ear. “Come back, damn you. You’re not leaving me.” She began to sob.

  Reggie hadn’t remembered much after that. When she opened her eyes in the hospital bed, she was in a pair of dingy green scrubs. She vaguely remembered being dragged down the hall by two orderlies and away from Van. She had no recollection of getting into the scrubs or the bed. After sitting up, she was more than slightly disoriented. There was a glass of water by her bed and a small white pill. She drank the water, but didn’t touch the pill. A nurse walked in while she sat there steadying herself.

  “Oh good, you’re up.” The nurse looked to be about her mother’s age. She was very heavyset but very pretty.

  “Why am I here?”

  “Oh, honey.” She sat down and took her hand. “Do you remember what happened?”

  “I remember your bastard doctor killed my husband.”

  The nurse gave her hand a squeeze. “We gave you a mild sedative. You were a little…emotional.”

  “Are you married?”

  “Thirty years this month. Four kids and two grandbabies,” she said with pride.

  “And how would you have reacted to the news?”

  She picked up the pill. “Please take this. I don’t want to have to give you another shot.”

  “A shot?” She remembered now being held by the orderlies while she was jabbed in the arm.

  “It’s a valium. It’ll help calm you down.”

  “I don’t want to be calm. I want my husband.”

  “Honey, he’s gone. You had your visit. He’s in the garden room now.”

  “The garden room?”

  “Sounds nicer than morgue,” she said with a whisper and another pat to her hand. “I know it’s rough, but you have to accept it and begin to make arrangements. You were his only next of kin. I have no one to call. Please take the pill and we can talk and make some phone calls for you.”

  “Make me.” She threw the cup against the wall then walked over to the window. The nurse must have pushed a button because two orderlies walked in within a minute. “Damn you! No!” Reggie screamed and backed into the corner. “What the hell are you people?”

  “We want you to relax. We’re not trying to hurt you. You need to take the edge off and think clearly. We need to call his family.”

  “You’re not calling his family. I’ll call his family after I see him!”

  “Your husband is dead, honey.”

  “Stop calling me honey! I’m not your fucking honey! I want my husband damn you!”

  The two orderlies closed in on her. She flailed violently, landing a square kick to the family jewels on one before the other managed to pick her up and hold her tight to his chest.

  “Just settle down, honey. We want to help you. We need to know who to call for you.”

  “Leave me alone. I’m not leaving without my husband.”

  The doctor who operated on Van walked into the room. “Let her down,” he said to the orderlies. “Please come to my office so we can make arrangements to move your husband.”

  “You’re not taking him anywhere!”

  Reggie ran out of the room in search of the morgue.

  ~*~

  “Reg?” Regina slowly moved her head from side to side. She opened her eyes, but everything was blurry. “You awake, Reg?” It looked like Van smiling down at her. It can’t be. She blinked a few times, trying to get things into focus. The face smiled. “Hey, princess. Are you ever a sight for sore eyes.”

  “Troy?” Her voice cracked.

  “I’m here, baby doll. I’m here.” She sat up and threw her arms around his neck. He returned the strong embrace. “I’m not letting you go.” She cried hard with all the accompanying noise her dry throat could make.

  “They killed him, Troy.” Sobbing, she repeated, “They killed him.”

  “Shhh.” He stroked her hair while she cried. “I’ve got you.”

  When she was finally cried out, Troy leaned back with her on the waiting room couch. “They say you’ve been giving them quite a hard time.”

  “They won’t let me see him, Troy.”

  He pulled her forehead to his lips and kissed her firmly. “I know, princess.”

  “How’d they find you?”

  “His records. The next ICE listing for Van after you, was me.”

  “ICE?” she asked.

  “In case of emergency.”

  “You didn’t have to fly all the way here for me.”

  “Yes, I did. You can’t stay in the waiting room forever, Reg. We need to get you back home and get this all sorted out.”

  “Sorted out? They killed him. What’s to sort out?” Her eyes were filled with tears.

  “Come on. I have a hotel room in town. We’ll figure it out.”

  She had forgotten they were still in Fargo. “But…” She was actually out of questions. She wanted to leave the hospital but once she left, she knew she had to let go of Van for good.

  Troy stood and offered her his hand. As soon as Reggie was on her feet, she lost her balance.

  “Whoa.” Troy caught her and sat her back down. “You all right?”

  She reached for her head with both hands. “Just light-headed.”

  “What’d you eat last?”

  “Breakfast yesterday, after Van went into surgery. Whatever they gave me must be slow to wear off.”

  “Reggie…his surgery was Monday.”

  “I know. Yesterday.”

  “This is Thursday.”

  “It can’t be.”

  “You have been refusing to leave and haven’t bothered to eat? Reg…” He pulled her to his chest and mumbled. “Dammit.”

  “I don’t remember anything after…” She put her hands to her face and began to cry again.

  He pulled her in for another hug. “Let’s get you outta here. We’ll get everything figured out.”

  As soon as they were in the car, Troy called the hotel for room service. He ordered a cheeseburger and fries, a steak, a salad and, a chicken and pasta plate. He wanted it ready ASAFP and gave the kitchen staff exactly that for an order.

  “Where’s Bri?”

  “She was at her mom’s in Georgia. She’ll be here around midnight.”

  “She didn’t have to leave her mother for me.”

  “Trust me, she was more than happy to cut it short. Besides, you know she’d drop anything or anyone for you.” She sniffed again. “It’ll be okay, Reg. We�
��ll take care of you.” She dropped her head into his lap and cried again.

  ~*~

  When Sabrina showed up, Reggie was sound asleep, curled up on the bed. “Don’t wake her, babe. She’s really out of it.”

  “What the hell happened, Troy? How could he die?”

  “I’ve been on the phone since she’s been asleep. Nobody can give me a direct answer.”

  “What do they say?”

  “They run in circles, from too many drugs in his system to an allergic reaction to the anesthetic to his heart just giving up.”

  “You buying any of it?”

  “I dunno. I guess any combination of it could be right. I don’t know anything about medicine. You hear horror stories all the time about simple procedures going wrong. We watched that horrible movie two weeks ago with that woman dying when they tried to remove something from her face. Reg is going to blame the VA, but it would have happened in any hospital.”

  “You’re right. You know how she hated military life.”

  “I know, babe.”

  “She always talked about asking them to monitor his kidneys and stuff. She was worried about his system with all the medications. Maybe there was something to all of that.”

  “I’ll see where I can get tomorrow. I couldn’t leave her alone today.” He looked over to be sure Reggie was asleep. “That’s another issue, too.”

  “What?”

  “She was beyond a handful from what they described. She kicked an orderly…you know…” Troy pointed to his crotch. “They tried giving her something to calm her down but she wouldn’t take it. They said she refused to call his family. I don’t know why they just didn’t do it.”

  “What was she doing all this time?”

  “Hanging out in the waiting room. She hasn’t even eaten in days, babe. I caught her from damn near falling over. She thought it was Tuesday.”

  “Are you shitting me? You know how she gets when she’s upset, but that’s crazy. What about the nurses? Didn’t someone do anything?”

  “I’m sure they tried to get her to eat but knowing her, she just shooed them away. I talked to two nurses about her. There was nothing they could do after calling me. I just wish they had done that sooner.” He pointed at the room service trays. “She didn’t put much of a dent in it, but I got her to eat what I could. I’m glad you’re here, babe. She needs you. I’m not equipped for this.”

  “I’d say you did a hell of a job.”

  Troy’s eyes welled up with tears. “He was my best friend, too.” Bri held him tight. Together they cried, mourning the loss of their friend.

  They stayed a few days together in the hotel. No one minded sharing the close quarters; in fact, they preferred it. Regina slept between the two of them that second night, like a scared child who had been awoken by a thunderstorm and crawled into her parent’s bed for comfort. Troy and Sabrina both rested an arm on her while she slept.

  When Troy came back from the hospital the third day, he was furious.

  “They did what?” Regina shouted.

  “They said they had no choice. The autopsy revealed all it was going to and they closed the case.”

  “How dare they ship his body to Big Lake without my permission!”

  “That’s what was on his record when he joined. It had never been changed. They were responsible for his life insurance.”

  “Meaning?” Reggie asked.

  “It amounts to the funeral and burial paid for. His body goes to the funeral home he chose in his hometown when he joined. They were in touch with Champus about a next of kin list. As soon as you left the hospital with me, they notified his family.”

  “They had no right to do that.”

  “The hospital said they had no choice. You were deemed unstable and they had to get him out of there.”

  “Shit.” Reggie sat down. “I just wasn’t ready to move him. I couldn’t accept…”

  “I know, Reggie.” Troy sat next to her. “I didn’t think they’d do it. They said nothing to me.”

  She twisted a tissue in her hands. “I can’t do a funeral with his family. You know we’ve never gotten along. I’m sure they’re pissed I haven’t spoken to them yet.” She leaned her head to his shoulder. “It was hard enough to say goodbye to him the first time.”

  “You don’t have to, Reg. You’ve said your goodbyes. Come home with us,” Sabrina said. “His family can take care of the funeral.”

  “I can’t do that. What would they think when I don’t show up for my own husband’s funeral?”

  “Do you care what anyone thinks? Come home for a while. We’ll help you take care of your house in a few weeks, a few months…whenever you’re ready to face it.”

  “I have to go.” Reggie stood up and stuffed the few clothes Sabrina had bought for her into a plastic bag.

  “Reggie,” Troy said, stopping her. “Don’t go flying outta here crazy. You don’t need to do this.”

  “Yes, I do. He’s not going to have a funeral without me there.”

  “You just said you couldn’t do that.”

  “I don’t want to see his family, but I need to be with him. I need to be able to say goodbye, Troy.”

  He could think of a dozen things to say to her to try to talk her out of it, but all he could say was “Okay. We’re taking you though.”

  ~*~

  Reggie finally gathered the courage to call Van’s mother when they reached their Bemidji home. Cold would not describe the conversation. The doctor’s release was the only information they received about what happened; they didn’t understand her lack of communication. She lacked the strength to explain it.

  “He’ll be buried in the family plot and have a good Lutheran service.” His mother emphasized Lutheran.

  Van had wanted to be cremated. His mother couldn’t possibly want to go against his wishes. Reggie shook out of both fear and anger at this woman and her stubborn ways. She tried to put some force behind her voice, desperately wanting her to understand. “That’s not what he wanted, Mrs. Kimball. Van had said he…”

  “I’m not burning my baby. We’ve had this plot for generations and that’s where he’s going. Service starts at noon tomorrow,” she said, before hanging up.

  Reggie was unsure of her plans now. She wasn’t sure she could stay in Minnesota without him; there would be too many memories. Maybe he should be with his family. She couldn’t drag his ashes around while she found home. It would be too hard on her.

  The conversation went through her head the entire drive to the funeral. It wasn’t right, but she justified it for three hours. It’s not him, Reggie; it’s just his body. His heart will always be yours.

  Chapter 15

  ALTHOUGH IT WOULD MEAN another three-hour drive after the service, Reggie didn’t want to get a room in Big Lake. Troy would have flown her to the moon if she asked; he didn’t mind doing the driving between towns. They arrived in Big Lake an hour before Van’s service. Reggie asked to be left alone for a while and they understood. She gave them directions to the church as they dropped her off at a small park by a strip mall.

  “I need a minute. I promise I’ll see you there.”

  Once the car was out of sight, she walked to the mall and went into a hair salon. “Can I help you?” the receptionist asked.

  “Do you guys do Locks for Love here?”

  “Sure, we can send it off for you. It’s another ten dollars though. Are you cutting off all that gorgeous hair? We only need ten inches.”

  “I want it all off please.”

  The hairdresser, whose nametag read Lori, complimented Regina’s thick mane while she brushed it out. She insisted that she leave it above her shoulders. “It would be a major adjustment to go too short right away. I’d hate to overrule you, but trust me. If you hate it when I’m done, I’ll go shorter.” The stylist tied a ponytail holder around her hair at her neck to keep it from all falling to the floor in a mess then snipped it off in several swipes and offered it to Reggie.


  “Say goodbye to an old friend.”

  Lori was too excited about her new creation to take notice to the tears forming in Reggie’s eyes. Reggie feigned a smile when the stylist proudly proclaimed, “Ta-da,” twenty minutes later as she spun her around to face the mirror. It was a cute cut and style. It sat a couple inches above her shoulders and was nicely layered. She asked not to be given bangs; she liked being able to tuck her hair behind her ears. It was nice, but Reggie would have been content if she had done it herself in her best Hollywood fashion, doing an imitation of some crazy lady butchering off her own hair for whatever dramatic purpose. Having paid dearly to get it done must show some kind of sanity and restraint for her actions. Right?

  Throughout the cut, Reggie twisted her long lock around her hand. How Van loved her hair. She wished she could send it with him instead, but she knew it wouldn’t be fair. Two wigs could be made for the children with cancer out of what was cut off. Van would have wanted that. When the stylist reached for it she asked, “Can I take a few strands?”

  “Of course.” She removed about a quarter inch round chunk of it. “You have more than enough hair here. I’d say you had enough for two, maybe even three wigs; it’s so thick and long. You’ve made some children very happy.” Again Reggie had to force a smile in return.

  “I need to braid it. You want the honors one last time?”

  “No thanks. It’s all yours.” She paid her bill, tipped the girl another ten dollars and walked toward the church.

  ~*~

  “Where is she?” Sabrina whispered from the pew. The service was half over and she had yet to see Reggie come in.

  “She’ll be here,” Troy whispered back.

  They sat quietly, listening to the remainder of the eulogy.

  “Donovan is in a far better place now,” the pastor continued. “We should be rejoicing for him. He is…”

  “Bullshit.” A voice came from the front doors of the church. Everyone turned around.

  Sabrina let out a loud gasp. “Oh, dear God!” Her head fell into Troy’s shoulder.

  ~*~

  “Bullshit,” Reggie said again. “Excuse me if I don’t feel like rejoicing right now.” No one moved as she walked toward the front of the church. She scanned the faces of the crowd. A lot were relatives she’d met only a time or two. There were some friends from Bemidji and Van’s boss. Someone had spread the word; she was glad they would get the chance to say goodbye to him. She couldn’t have broken the news to anyone, still finding it impossible to believe herself. Everyone stared at her as she slowly walked to the front of the church.