by Joan Hohl
“You look ...” Tina shrugged lightly. “Pensive. Are you feeling a little down?”
Quite the contrary, Dirk thought wryly. “I’m fine, Tina,” Dirk assured her. “I’m just not very hungry. “A teasing smile charmed his lips. “But you obviously were.” A nod of his head indicated her plate.
“I love lobster tail.” Tina smiled. “You, of all people, should know that.”
“Yes, I know that, darling.” Dirk returned her smile. “I introduced you to it when you were six, remember?”
“Yes.”
Tina’s whispered response and the dreamy expression on her lovely face combined to send a shaft of pain through Dirk’s heart.
Whenever Tina thought of the past, their past, her features softened into that dreamy expression, and she became once again his own beautiful little sister. But there were other times, times like the day he’d confronted her on the beach, when her eyes glittered with the hate she bore him in the present.
Dirk was nothing if not honest with himself about this. He knew that their former relationship bound them together in an intensely emotional way. He also knew that by stepping over the line from brother to lover, he had irreparably damaged that precious relationship. And yet the emotional ties endured, twining around them both, the loose ends of love and hate binding them securely one to the other.
With new insight, Dirk followed the trend of his thoughts. He was not alone in the hell of inner conflict; Tina also suffered the effects of emotions straining in opposite directions.
He loved her, needed her ... and hated her for having created, however innocently, the insatiable hunger he had for her.
Tina had admitted to loving him, needing him ... and hating him, not only for shattering her young dreams, but for the subsequent control he’d held over her through her inheritance.
He thought her a grasping mercenary, prepared to use any means or any man in her determination to succeed as a businesswoman.
She thought him a coldhearted ruthless womanizing bastard.
And so they hated each other.
And so they loved each other.
Dirk’s thoughts settled fatalistically. Marriage to each other would very likely be both heaven and hell. But it was the only arrangement he’d accept, because he knew from experience that living without her was just pure hell.
He’d live with it, Dirk decided. They would both have to learn to live with it... and each other. Raising his glass, he tilted it in a silent salute to his bride to be. It was better that they destroy each other than still more innocent bystanders along their way.
“What are you drinking to?” Though Tina’s voice was light, her eyes betrayed wary confusion.
“Us.” Though Dirk’s tone was smooth, his painful thoughts were centered on the real reason for his toast. To the revenge we’ll wreak upon each other, love, he mused darkly. Revenge achieved by legally binding our futures. And if the pill we mutually swallow is bitter, we’ll have the bleak consolation of knowing that the coating is very sweet.
“Dirk.” Tina’s concerned voice drew Dirk from the depths of black despair. “What is it? You look so ... so pained!”
Sighing deeply, Dirk shook off the residue of bitter speculation. “It’s nothing, honey.” He grinned to back up his denial. “For a moment there, a specter was dancing on my future grave.”
Future grave? Tina shuddered. What an odd thing for Dirk to say. Sitting forward, she examined his eyes and skin color for signs of a brewing cold or flu. Dirk’s color was not only good, it advertised glowing health, and his eyes were blue and clear. Still...
“Why are you peering at me like that?”
“I’m not peering.” Sitting back, Tina frowned. “I was trying to determine if you were coming down with some sort of illness,” she explained worriedly.
Dirk laughed reassuringly. “I’m perfectly all right.” Then, knocking back the last of his wine, he set the glass on the table and rose to his feet. “And to prove it,” he continued teasingly. “I’ll chase you around the floor.” Extending his hand, he smiled. “Come on, honey, come dance with me.”
Stepping into Dirk’s arms was like stepping into yesterday. Sighing contentedly, Tina obligingly moved closer to Dirk’s strength when his arms tightened about her waist. Her senses drowning in the intoxicating masculine scent of him, she allowed her suddenly heavy eyelids to flutter down. Immediately Tina was transported back in time to the only other occasion when Dirk had held her while dancing.
It was late spring, the evening of Tina’s senior prom. Excited, she’d finished dressing long before her date, the good-looking boy who sat behind her in English, was due to arrive. Too keyed up to remain in her room, and eager to see her father’s reaction to her appearance, Tina had swept down the curving staircase with all the elegance of an antebellum debutante, her wide, belled skirt swishing against the spokes in the stair railing.
Weeks before, to George Holden’s mock pleas for mercy, Tina had scoured one shop after another for the perfect gown. The dazed expression on her father’s face as she waltzed into the living room made the exhausting search worthwhile. But in truth it was the unexpected blazing gaze of sapphire blue that put the final stamp of approval on the billowing yards of virginal white tulle.
Off the shoulder and with a snug bodice, the dress drew the eye to the budding maturity of Tina’s breasts and her tiny waist. The snowy white against her skin enhanced the creamy glow of her neck, shoulders, and arms.
Poised in the doorway to the living room, Tina held her breath while waiting for the two most important men in her life to offer an opinion. She hadn’t had to wait very long.
“Is this beautiful creature my skinny Tina?” George asked in an awed tone.
From where he’d been sitting by the narrow window, Dirk walked to her slowly. “You look like every man’s fantasy come to life.” His oddly hoarse tone drew her startled eyes to his face.
For one brief moment, Tina thought she saw a flash of intense pain flicker in Dirk’s eyes. Then it was gone, banished by a smile that warmed her all the way to her toes.
“Since your date hasn’t arrived yet,” Dirk murmured, opening his arms wide in invitation, “I’m claiming the first dance.”
The music wafting around the room from the stereo was slow and romantic, perfect for that moment. Dirk held her lightly and maintained several inches of space between them during the brief ballad. Yet at that distance and in those fleeting moments, Tina realized two very important things. One was that she followed Dirk’s lead as easily and naturally as if they’d danced together hundreds of times. The second was that, even with the distance separating them, she would rather dance with Dirk than any other man on earth.
The appearance of Tina’s date was the anticlimax to her evening. Tina had gone on to the prom, her corsage of white and pale green orchids gracing her slender wrist, and she had thoroughly enjoyed her evening. Still, while she laughed and conversed with friends and danced with different partners, she carried an inner vision of being twirled around the small confines of her living room within the thrilling embrace of her one and only hero.
“At least this time there’s not a mile of material between us.” Dirk’s murmured observation sent a tingle feathering Tina’s spine. The brushing sensation of his lips moving over her temple drew goose bumps of excitement to the surface of her shoulders and arms. “This time I can feel your body moving with mine.” His breath whispered into her ear, cutting hers off entirely.
Attuned in memory and motion, oblivious to the other couples on the dance floor, they swayed to a more evocative, more basic rhythm.
Flushed, her blood rushing through her veins in time to the music, Tina placed her slightly parted lips against the curve of Dirk’s neck and caressed him gently with the tip of her tongue when he drew in a quick, sharp breath.
“Are you trying to get tumbled on the dance floor, woman?” Dirk’s whispered growl was nearly Tina’s undoing. “Maybe it’s time to get out of here before we scandal
ize the decent folk of this fair city.” His tone was laced with amusement and a broad vein of sensuality.
Responding to his mood, Tina glanced up at him through her partially lowered lashes. “Did you have a destination in mind?” she asked guilelessly, teasing him by combing her fingers through the fine hairs at his nape.
A visible shiver ran the length of Dirk’s spine and his arms flexed in reaction. “We could continue the dance at home,” he suggested softly. “In my bedroom ...” A sexy smile curled the corners of his lips at the gasp that escaped Tina’s guard. “I can guarantee you’ll love the beat of the music.”
For a moment Tina forgot to breathe. Her insides and her resolve melting, she closed her eyes in defense against the luring gleam in his. The temptation to fling caution to the winds was great, but not quite great enough. Piercing the web of sensuality Dirk was weaving around her, a smidgeon of common sense urged Tina to think.
She loved him, and although she would trust him with her life in a threatening situation, she could not trust him with her future. Dirk wanted her now, wanted her enough to make her his wife, and by doing so make not only her inheritance but his own fortune available to her. But if she were to allow him the physical satisfaction he craved before they were legally bound, what assurance did she have that he’d carry through with his promise?
Absolutely none. The answer came from deep within Tina’s consciousness. The temptation to end her five-year hunger for him was great...but not quite great enough.
Shaking her head, Tina swirled out of Dirk’s embrace. WI think we’ll take a moonlight stroll on the promenade instead.” She laughed, eyes bright with mockery. “Something tells me you could do with some cooling off before crawling into your bed... alone.” Slanting a come-hither look at him over hers shoulder, Tina made for their table, her body swaying invitingly.
A bemused smile softening his lips, Dirk trailed in Tina’s scented wake. After paying the check, he escorted her from the Inn, draping her jacket securely around her shoulders as they crossed Beach Drive to the deserted promenade.
The night air was cold and heavy with salty moisture that tantalized the nostrils and clung to the eyelashes. Drawing the distinctive odor of the seashore deep into her body, Tina was again transported back in time.
How many times had she walked this path with Dirk by her side? she wondered dreamily. The soft murmur of the curling waves seemed to whisper an answer more times than can be counted.
The feel of Dirk’s arm circling her waist, drawing her close to the warmth of his body, was a familiar sensation. Tina settled naturally into his easy, loping stride, more at home within the curve of his arm than in the house she’d grown up in.
“Shall we take a stroll along the silvery moonlight path?” Dirk’s teasing question was as familiar as his protective embrace. Tina’s gaze sought the undulating strip of silver on the inky darkness of the sea. With very little imagination, one could believe it possible to follow that path to the horizon.
“Where will the path lead us?” Tina responded as she always had, bringing her moonlight-brightened gaze back to his face.
Dirk’s eyes were dark with the memory of how very often he’d answered Tina’s question. “A carefree place, filled with light, laughter, and love.” He repeated the words he’d first spoken to Tina the summer her father had drawn him into the circle of love surrounding the Holden family. “A place glowing with all the colors of the rainbow.”
Tina blinked against the rush of hot moisture that filled her eyes, pitying the five-year-old dreamer who had believed that such a place could exist. Smiling sadly, she shifted her gaze back to the lure of the restless sea.
“Growing up is a bitch, isn’t it?”
Tina came to an abrupt stop at the harsh bitterness in Dirk’s tone. What did he know of bitterness? The thought incurred renewed anger. Denying the need to burrow closer to his strength, she slipped out of his encircling arm, spinning away from him.
“Tina!”
Ignoring the entreaty in Dirk’s commanding tone, Tina ran down the steps to the beach, unmindful of thy abrasive grains of sand that insinuated themselves under the narrow straps of her sandals. She hadn’t a hope of outrunning Dirk and she knew it, yet Tina fled on wobbly high heels, heading for the shoreline. Her breath a raspy sound in her ears, Tina didn’t hear Dirk as he gained on her. His grasp of her shoulder came as a shock, though it shouldn’t have.
Wildly angry, and not even sure why, Tina tried to shake off Dirk’s detaining hand. His hold tightened, his arm jerked, and then she was falling, pitching to the ground, pulling him down with the impetus of her body. He landed with a thud beside her.
“What the hell is the matter with you?” Dirk’s ragged voice growled into her ear.
“Nothing! Everything! I don’t know!” Tina deplored the uncertainty threading her own gasping voice. Her arms flailing, she attempted, unsuccessfully, to scramble to her feet. Utterly spent, she lay still, staring up at the star-tossed sky. “Why did you ask me to marry you, Dirk?” she whispered.
“I think you know the answer to that.” Dirk’s emotionless tone was chilling.
“Yes.” Closing her eyes against the brilliance overhead, Tina shuddered at the memory of his hot mouth searing her skin. “We’ll destroy each other, Dirk.” Her toneless statement still managed to convey despair.
He was lying so close, Tina felt the sigh he expelled. “Very likely.” Dirk was quiet a moment, then he pushed the upper part of his body up to stare directly into her eyes. “But there’s no turning back, no getting out of it.” His trembling fingers contradicting the fierce determination blazing out of his eyes, he tenderly brushed the hair back at her temples. “Like it or not, Tina, there is a bond between us. An emotional and physical bond. I’ve never believed in predestination, but...” His voice trailed away, and shrugged. The smile that played with Dirk’s mouth had the power to wound. “Who knows”— he shrugged again—”maybe we’re both working off our individual karma on each other.”
Predestination? Karma? Tina shuddered. Inching away from him, she struggled to her feet. Closing her mind to the possibility of what he’d sardonically suggested, she brushed vigorously at the sand clinging to her dress.
“That’s ridiculous.” Tina wished her voice held more assurance. “We control our own destiny, and you know it.”
“Do we?” Chuckling softly, Dirk sprang to his feet before her startled eyes. “Then how do you explain the lure that keeps drawing us back together?”
“Sexual attraction.” Speaking each word distinctly, Tina lifter her head proudly. “A violent reaction of our respective body chemicals.”
Dirk’s soft chuckle expanded into a full-throated laugh. “I’ll say!” he exclaimed, choking back a fresh burst of laughter. “And if you think I’m going to deny all those chemicals going berserk inside my body, you’re crazy.” Grinning wickedly, he slid his hand around her neck and tugged her rigid body into contact with his own. “Sexual attraction, chemistry, or whatever, you are going to marry me.” His lips teased the corner of her mouth. “Aren’t you?”
Tina felt the tingle begin at the inside of her mouth, then slowly radiate throughout her body. Sighing softly in defeat, she moved her head the fraction of an inch necessary to fuse her lips with his. Disappointment racked her nerve endings when Dirk lifted his head slightly, refusing to kiss her.
“Aren’t you?” he insisted, tormenting her by flicking the tip of his tongue over her lips.
“Dirk.” Tina’s cry was part protest, part plea.
“Aren’t you?” His tongue slid fleetingly into her mouth.
“Yes.” Clasping his head with her hands, Tina drew his mouth to hers. “Yes,” she moaned, parting her lips for the invasion of his. Melting into him, she gave herself to the thrill of his thrusting tongue. “Yes.” Her whisper was lost inside Dirk’s mouth.
To what conclusion the embrace might have led, Tina had no idea—-nor did she care. Swept into abandonment by the fi
ery onslaught of Dirk’s mouth, she was soon past the point of rational thought or even instinctive self-preservation.
Not merely pliant but eager, she threw all her longing and frustration into the kiss, as if trying to absorb the essence of him into her entire being. It was Dirk, an obviously shaken Dirk, who saved Tina from herself.
Tearing his mouth from hers, he held her away from him, his breathing rough and uneven as he stared down into her passion-glazed eyes.
“Good Lord, Tina!” Dirk’s whispered exclamation held a note of pain. “Now dare to tell me the only thing between us is physical attraction!”
Tina felt the intensity in Dirk through the tremor of the fingers gripping her upper arms. Her breath coming in shallow gasps, she closed her eyes. “Dirk ... won’t ...” That was as far as she got, fortunately, for she hadn’t thought of one word with which to plead her case.
“You will.” Dirk enforced his words with a light shake of her shoulders. “You will admit it because, like me, you have no choice.”
“You’re wrong!” Tina’s eyes flew wide in reaction to his statement. Staring up at him, she longed to lower her lashes again, to shut out the heart-wrenching image of him with moonlight striking burnished glints of his hair and sparks of blue fire from his piercing eyes. The glinting streaks in his hair rippled as he shook his head.
“No, Tina, I’m not wrong. I could control simple physical attraction, and I’m sure you could as well. But what we’re dealing with here is much stronger, much more involved, and you know it.” The smile that feathered his lips sent an ache radiating through Tina’s chest. “No, darling, what we’re dealing with here has the scent of obsession.”
“Dirk!” Tina’s cry of protest rang on the cold night air.
“Hush, love.” Drawing her to him, Dirk cradled Tina’s trembling body close to his hard strength. “Accept it. We’ve tasted of the forbidden fruit. The obsession is to devour the entire apple.”
* * * *
Obsession.
The one word stood between Tina and sleep. Alternately hot then cold as she lay on her bed, she restlessly drew the covers up to her chin only to throw them off again moments later.
