by Joan Hohl
“Yes,” Feeling oddly defeated and triumphant at the same time, Tina straightened her spine and met his assessing regard fearlessly. “Yes,” she repeated clearly. “I’ve always loved you.”
“As a brother?” Dirk arched one golden-brown brow.
“Yes.”
“As a lover?” His voice lowered seductively.
“Yes.”
“As a man?” Tension filled his tone.
“Yes.”
Inside the island of the plush Jaguar, Tina held her breath as Dirk’s sapphire eyes scrutinized her features one by one. When those jewel-like eyes captured hers, she released the breath in a sigh of surrender. She was his. She had always been his and, deep down, had always known it. Now he knew it too.
“I told you earlier that there was a way ...” Dirk’s voice trailed away, leaving tracks of question.
Bemused as she was, Tina knew what he was referring to at once. Dirk had said the words to her that afternoon just as the phone rang with the call from Paul. His response had been to her plea for money. Now, searching his face for a clue and finding none, Tina nodded her head in understanding.
“And that way is?” she asked softly, expecting, from his preceding hints, to be propositioned.
“Marry me.”
Tina stared at Dirk in astonishment, but his austere expression left no doubt whatever about his seriousness. Why had she never considered the possibility? she wondered blankly. A tiny smile of bitterness tugged at her lips but was quickly gone, Why should a man buy something he can get for nothing? The old admonition silently mocked her. The light in her eyes diminished as Tina gazed at Dirk knowingly. Had he reached the conclusion that she would refuse to dance until he paid the band?
“Well, Tina?” An edge now serrated Dirk’s tone.
“Is your need that great?” Tina blurted.
“Yes.” The edge bit her savagely. “Is yours?”
Tina closed her eyes. It was obvious that Dirk believed he was referring to two entirely different types of need: in his own case physical, in hers financial. Lifting her shoulders in a tired shrug, Tina opened her eyes to stare into the blue depths of his. What did it matter? she asked herself, the pain she felt cutting into her heart. If she was his, she was his-—whether she was with him or not. Now, given the choice, Tina knew she’d rather be with him than anywhere else on earth. What difference did it make as to why he wanted to be with her?
“Yes.” Tina’s softly uttered agreement was affirmation to both his questions; yes, her need was great, and yes, she would marry him to alleviate that need.
“When?” Dirk’s gaze bored into her.
Attempting insouciance she was light years from feeling, Tina flicked her hair off her shoulders with a toss of her head.
“Whenever,” she responded flippantly.
Dirk’s eyes narrowed over a revealing leap of flaring anger. “All right.” His too-even tone sent a chill that feathered Tina’s nape. “Next Thursday,” he decided with a grim smile. “It will give us an added something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving.”
Tina had completely forgotten that the holiday was only one week away. Gazing into his flinty eyes, she lowered her head in acquiescence. “Whatever you say.”
“Look at me, Tina.”
At the almost coaxing sound of his voice, Tina raised surprised eyes.
“We’ve both tried to make it with others and failed.” Lifting his hand, Dirk drew an uneven line over her cheek. “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Maybe our lives are too entwined.” The soft laughter that broke from his lips held scant humor. “My wanting you feels almost incestuous. You were always like a sister to me, much more of a sister than my own ever was.”
“Dirk.” Tina’s protest went unheard and unheeded.
“But I do want you.” Dirk’s tone hardened. “Thoughts, dreams, and the longing for you have tormented me long enough. The torment will end one week from today.”
Or will it really just be beginning? The consideration dropped into Tina’s consciousness like a stone into water, sinking into the very depths of her being. Suddenly cold, she drew her jacket around her to contain the shiver that rippled the length of her spine. Dirk felt the shiver in the tips of his fingers.
“Dinner,” he decided firmly, removing his hand and turning in his seat. “You’re chilled from sitting here too long and you’re probably half starved.” His features relaxing, he sliced a teasing glance at her. “My care of you thus far hardly recommends me as husband material... does it?”
“You always took very special care of me,” Tina reminded him quietly.
“Because you were always special to me,” Dirk responded immediately, flicking the key in the ignition with a twist of his long, capable-looking fingers.
And Dirk’s fingers were capable, Tina knew. In fact Dirk had proved capable at everything he’d ever attempted, from sailing a boat to reeling in the fish he’d caught over the side. He could ride a horse with the best, ride a wave when it was up, ride a hunch that made an enormous profit for him. Bring a woman straight to heaven.
A sensuous thrill ricocheted along Tina’s spine. Yes, she had glimpsed that heaven Dirk could offer a woman. And she had craved more of it every day for the last five years.
Into her own thoughts, Tina was only superficially aware of the motion of the car until it came to a stop mere minutes after they’d pulled away from the house. Drawn out of her reverie, Tina glanced around in confusion. The car was parked in the lot of the imposing Marquis de Lafayette Inn. Frowning, she turned to Dirk, who was watching her, an amused smile curving his lips.
“We’re having dinner here?” Tina’s brows arched.
“Obviously.” Dirk’s brows mirrored hers. “Would you prefer to go somewhere else?”
“No.” Tina shook her head vigorously. “This is fine. I was just wondering why we bothered with the car.”
“Because it will probably turn cold before we’re ready to leave.” Dirk ran a meaningful glance over her attire. “And I doubt you’ll be warm enough in that.” Not waiting for a response, he opened his door and stepped out. Tina was standing on the macadam before he’d circled the car.
“Liberated, are you?” he drawled, sliding an arm around her waist.
“Of course.” Tilting her head to glance up at him, Tina wound her arms around him and gave him a quick hug, laughing softly at his contemplative look.
“Brazen too,” Dirk decided dryly, setting her into motion by striding briskly. “I hope you don’t make a habit of draping yourself around me in parking lots ... or anywhere else, for that matter.”
“Only the ones I’ve known for almost twenty years,” Tina quipped, yelping when he retaliated by suddenly tightening his hold on her waist.
Laughing easily together, they entered the Inn and went directly to the Top of the Marq restaurant on the sixth floor. It was over five years since Tina had stepped foot into the restaurant, yet they were greeted with the warmth and friendliness accorded regular customers.
When Tina saw the table they were being ushered to, a small pang twisted her chest. She could vividly remember seeing Dirk at that same table on the July evening her father had brought her to the restaurant for dinner. The spear of pain stabbing Tina was two-pronged. The memory was both bitter and sweet.
Preoccupied, Tina was blind to the searing scrutiny of shrewd blue eyes.
Innocently unaware of the fact that it would be the last time she’d dine out with her already ailing father, Tina had looked forward with glowing excitement to their dinner at the Marq. Within minutes of being seated at a window table that afforded a panoramic view of the ocean, however, all the excitement faded from the evening, and all the expectation Tina had secretly harbored concerning Dirk died an agonizing death.
Dirk had not occupied the table across the room from Tina and her father in lonely isolation. The woman sitting very close to him was unfamiliar to Tina. The woman was a stunner: blond, suntanned, beautiful, and obviously enthr
alled with her escort.
To the silent death knell of all her girlish dreams of a happy-ever-after with Dirk, Tina had observed the couple from her window table. Intent on the menu, her father never noticed Dirk and his lovely companion. Intent on his companion, Dirk never noticed Tina and her father. Sadly, to this day, Tina could not remember what she and her father had talked about that evening, or what she’d ordered and subsequently eaten. Of course, the identity of the meal was unimportant; the conversation had been the last of any length she’d had with her father.
“Tina, where are you?”
Startled out of the past, Tina gazed solemnly at the Dirk of the present. How incredibly naive she’d been, she thought. So naive she hadn’t even considered the idea that Dirk would enjoy, let alone need, female companionship. Seeing him with a woman hanging on his every word had shattered Tina’s fantasy bubble. A tiny bittersweet smile shadowed her lips.
“Tina?” Though Dirk kept his voice pitched low, the edge of concern reached her “I asked where you’d gone off to?”
“To an evening five years ago,” Tina told him. “The night Dad brought me here for dinner.” She sighed. “It was the last time he took me out. And the first time I ever saw you with a date.”
“A date?” Dirk gazed at her in confusion. “Who was she?”
Tina shrugged. “I haven’t the foggiest. I’d never seen her before.” Since it was obvious Dirk didn’t remember the woman, Tina smiled. “But she was a knockout; blond, tan, and gorgeous.”
“Blond, tan, and gorgeous.” Frowning in concentration, Dirk repeated the description. “Hmm, I wonder ...” He smiled reminiscently as his voice trailed away. “Ah, the disco queen!” he exclaimed, laughing softly.
“Disco queen?” Intrigued, Tina raised a questioning eyebrow.
Dirk shook his head. “All that chick wanted to do was dance,” he explained. Then, his laughter taking on a hint of sensuality that annoyed Tina, he qualified. “Well, that isn’t quite all she wanted to do.”
“She liked to swim?” Tina inquired sweetly around a patently false smile.
“Only if it was on top of a water bed,” Dirk retorted dryly. “I swear, that woman was—
“I don’t want to hear it,” Tina cut him off sharply, feeling her cheeks grow warm when he roared with laughter. “And I don’t see anything funny, either!”
“Oh, Tina.” Dirk sighed. “You haven’t changed at all. You’re still a very prim and proper young lady.”
“And you have changed completely,” Tina shot back. “You never were an arrogant bas ...”
“I warned you about the name-calling once, Tina.” Dirk’s quiet tone was coated with ice. “I have no intention of spending my married life being cursed.”
“Are you threatening me?” Tina asked in amazement, beginning to feel all the old anger churn in her stomach.
“Merely warning you, love,” Dirk corrected gently. “I’m usually a patient man, but my patience doesn’t extend to listening to my wife swear at me.”
“You haven’t got a wife yet.” Tina glared at him. “And at this rate, you just may not get one—at least not this one.” She stabbed one long-nailed finger against her chest.
“Really?” Dirk was obviously unimpressed by her tirade. A sardonic smile curving his lips, he leaned back lazily in his chair. “Then,” he actually purred “whatever will you do to get the money you need to bail yourself out of debt?”
Square one. Tina could really have sworn at him then. Fortunately, the waiter chose that moment to bring the drinks she’d never even heard Dirk order. Reflecting his careless attitude with forced composure, she watched him warily while sipping the cool white wine.
“No quick comeback?” Dirk drawled with chiding humor. “No protestations of numerous financial sources? No assurances to the effect that you don’t need me—for anything?” The sensuous curve played over his lips again.
He knows full well how very much I need him. The realization of her own vulnerability drained all the fighting starch from Tina’s stiffened spine. How she longed to put Dirk down with a verbal slap. But some inner knowledge warned her that, should she attack, Dirk would retaliate harder, and she was simply too tired to deflect his verbal blows.
A self-effacing smile on her lips, Tina raised her glass in salute. “To the victor ... and all the rest of it,” she toasted him bitterly. “We spoils will endeavor to control our tongue.”
The sensuous curve to his lips grew a wicked twist. “Not in every situation, I hope. There are times when the application of one’s tongue can be quite exciting.”
“You are absolutely unbelievable!” Tina exclaimed softly.
“Horny too,” Dirk admitted blandly. “But then, I think I demonstrated that quite effectively on two separate occasions today, didn’t I?” Not bothering to wait for a response from her, he raised his glass in a return toast. “To the blessed end of five long years of horniness.”
Humiliation, shame, and pure rage combined momentarily to choke Tina. She loved him to the point of adoration, and he only wanted the use of her body. Collecting her outraged sensibilities, Tina retaliated in the only way that presented itself at that moment. “On our wedding night,” she added to his toast, experiencing a small sense of revenge at the spasm of shock that flashed across his face before he could impose control.
“You’re really going to make me wait?” he asked, almost teasingly.
“I’m really going to make you wait,” Tina repeated.
“I might be agreeable to releasing your money sooner,” Dirk suggested. “Or have you forgotten your creditors?”
“I’m really going to make my creditors wait as well,” Tina emptied her glass with a few deep swallows. “Look at it this way,” she advised mockingly, “next Thursday, you and my creditors will have something to be thankful for.”
Expecting a range of reactions from rage to sarcasm, Tina was amazed when Dirk laughed. She was just beginning to wonder if she should feel insulted when he quashed that idea as it formed.
“Okay, Tina, let’s drink to Thanksgiving Day.” Once again he raised his glass. “The feast will be all the more enjoyable for the anticipation of it.”
Unable to join him in the drink, Tina merely touched her empty glass to his, thinking drolly, And in this case, I’m the turkey.
* * *
Chapter 8
Methodically chewing a piece of his rare prime rib, Dirk contemplated the infuriating, tantalizing woman seated across the table from him.
Doing justice to a rather large lobster tail, Tina appeared sublimely unaffected by either his perusal or his presence.
Swallowing a curse along with the mangled piece of beef, Dirk stabbed his fork into the steaming baked potato on his plate. The very idea of blackmailing any woman into marriage was galling. The fact that he was applying force against this particular woman was actually creating a growing sickness inside.
All these years, all these years. The refrain revolved continuously in Dirk’s mind. Years of caring, and protecting, and loving Tina. Tina, his sister, his friend, his confidant.
But Dirk no longer regarded Tina as his little sister, and therein lay the root of the conflict that ate at his conscience, setting him against himself.
Dirk loved Tina; there was no question about that. The question tormenting him was, In what way did Dirk love Tina?
Ostensibly viewing the unique mural of “Old Cape May” the Inn was proud to display, while actually observing Tina closely, Dirk consumed his dinner without tasting it, and his wine without feeling its effects.
Smiling inwardly, he watched as Tina daintily devoured her meal, a tremor quaking through him as the tip of her tongue flicked at a glistening drop of melted butter on her lip.
Damn. There certainly was no question of how he wanted to love Tina. Dirk had long ago admitted to himself that he wanted to feast on her like a starving man at a banquet table.
Though Dirk had mentally dodged the knowledge for months, he had
finally faced the truth the winter between her sixteenth and seventeenth birthdays. And that truth was that he, Dirk Tanger, the pride of his parents and the private school he’d attended, the shrewd live wire, up-and-coming banker, the no-nonsense businessman, lusted after Tina Holden, the teenaged daughter of the man who’d been more of a real father to him than his own.
Suddenly dry, Dirk drained the full-bodied red wine from his glass. How many women had he used in a vain attempt to quench his thirst for Tina that winter? More than a few, he acknowledged ruefully. And not only that winter, either.
Lord! Dirk now thought in amazement. From the summer Tina was sixteen until that September afternoon when she was nineteen, he’d spent almost as much time hopping in and out of bed as he had amassing the fortune he now possessed. But where the business deals had been satisfying, the sexual indulgences had not. He realized now he had been trying to escape the hold Tina had on him; there was no escape.
Ignoring the remains of his dinner, Dirk refilled his glass, then bleakly watched Tina over the rim, sipping slowly as she finished her lobster.
God, she is so beautiful! So elegant in appearance. So gut-wrenchingly desirable. If anything, Dirk wanted Tina more now than he had before he had experienced the total fulfillment she could give him. And the bottom line of truth was, he’d used his wife as ruthlessly as every other woman in his determination to avoid facing his own reality.
Of course, as his wife had also been using him, Dirk forgave himself that transgression. What he couldn’t forgive was his own weakness, which drove him not only to possess Tina physically but to own her soul. And that was exactly what he intended ... he would own her, completely.
“Is there something wrong with your dinner?”
Dirk’s gaze rested on Tina’s lips as she posed the question. “No.” Raising his glance to hers, he narrowed his eyelids to conceal the flow of desire reflected there. “I guess I’m not as hungry as I thought I was.” At least not for beef and potatoes, he amended silently.
