by Joan Hohl
“Tina?” Dirk’s sharp gaze saw more than she wanted to show. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” There was an edge of panic there, an edge Tina knew she must control. “Nothing, really. I simply want to freshen up. You ... you go put the kettle on. I’ll be down in a moment.” Tina was moving with her last word, taking the stairs two at a time.
Inside the comparative safety of her room she stood, shoulders slumped in dejection, wondering where she’d find the courage to go back downstairs again. Dirk was up to something, she knew, but what? Shaking her head, Tina walked to the dresser. Pulling a brush through her wind ruffled hair, she stared deeply into her reflected eyes.
Dirk is completely in control, and he knows it. After years of cold withdrawal, why was he suddenly donning the cloak of friendship again? The solemn brown eyes in the mirror held no answers, only worried confusion.
Dirk wants something from me. The realization turned Tina cold to the marrow. When had it happened? she protested mutely. When had she relinquished the reins into his hands? She had come home to rest and devise a plan by which she could wrangle something from him. At what point had she lost the impetus?
The tremulous mouth in the mirror smiled knowingly. Observing the movement of her own lips, Tina winced. She knew darned well exactly when she’d started to fall apart. Her eyes shifted slightly to the spot in the room where Dirk had so recently held her to the burning hardness of his body. The sight disappeared as Tina slowly closed her eyes.
All this time, she moaned inwardly, all the years I’ve hated him and kept myself motivated by hating him, I have really been hating myself. And with good reason.
Tina’s conscience squirmed. At twenty-four, a finally honest twenty-four, Tina could appreciate Dirk’s actions of five years ago. She had been so terribly young, so terribly green, so terribly naive. Her lips twisted wryly. Was it any wonder he’d run from her as though from the plague? Today, nine years difference in their ages was of no account. Five years ago it was a chasm. And because he had not fettered himself with that green girl, Tina had spent every one of those years punishing every person who dared come too close, especially her husband.
Suddenly feeling too weary to stand, Tina sank onto the edge of the bed. What an absolute waste, she thought sadly. A waste of time, and effort, and, yes, money ... her money.
Had she married Chuck with cool, if unconscious, deliberation?
A shudder tore through Tina’s slender frame at the thought. While it was true that Chuck was unfaithful as well as unprincipled, it was also true that Tina had never been stupid. Hadn’t she known, from the very beginning, exactly what she was letting herself in for with Chuck? The probing thought straightened Tina’s spine.
Then another, more disturbing conjecture chilled Tina’s stiffened back. How had Dirk said it? I’m apologizing for using my knowledge to beat you with. The phrase revolved in Tina’s mind.
In effect, hadn’t she used Chuck to beat Dirk? Hadn’t she known, while refusing to know, that Chuck would make demands for money from her? Money that she would have no choice but to ask Dirk for. Hadn’t she also known that, by giving passive rather than active participation in her marriage bed, Chuck would seek satisfaction elsewhere, thereby saving her the shame of facing the unpalatable fact that while the man in her bed was her husband, the man in her heart and mind was Dirk?
“Rustle it, Tina!” Dirk shouted from the foyer. “Your tea is getting cold.”
The tea wasn’t the only thing. Tina shivered.
“Coming.” Tina’s response was threaded with anxiety and defeat. How could she face him? Not only face him but beg him to save her from the results of her own vindictive actions? But, Tina thought frantically, she had to get him to release her money. She couldn’t lose the shop now, it was all she had left.
Reluctance making her movements stiff, Tina rose and walked slowly to the door. She hadn’t washed her hands, she thought with bitter whimsy, but she’d done a fairly good job of scrubbing her grimy conscience.
“Tina!” Dirk’s impatient call came from the kitchen as she reached the foot of the stairs. Not bothering to answer, she continued her slow pace to the doorway of the room.
“Where the ...” Dirk’s words trailed away at the sight of her strained features. His body tensed as if preparing for a blow. “I don’t know, honey,” he murmured, shaking his head as he examined her face closely. “But for some reason, I have this nasty suspicion you’re withdrawing from me again.” Dirk’s head lowered with resignation. “Okay, let’s have it. What have you decided I’m guilty of now?”
* * *
Chapter 7
Tina smiled... at least made the attempt to smile. “Same old story, I’m afraid.” She shrugged. “I need money. You refuse to release it to me. Instant antagonism.”
Standing on the other side of the table from her, Dirk ran an assessing gaze from her gleaming red hair to the tips of her dusty boots.
Watching him scrutinize her, Tina felt a frisson of unease move through her at the contemplative spark that flared in his eyes before he concealed his thoughts by narrowing his lids. That brief flare convinced Tina that, whatever his thoughts, they meant trouble for her.
“There is one way,” he began, then frowned when the phone rang shrilly. “Damn!” With a murderous scowl, he crossed to the phone and jerked the receiver from the hook. “Hello?” he barked into the mouthpiece. Turning his head sharply, Dirk pinned Tina with a blazing stare. “Yes, she’s here,” Even as he spoke, his jaw grew rigid with anger. “If you must,” he finally snarled, holding the receiver out to Tina.
“Do I recognize the pleasant tone of your benign banker?” Paul drawled the moment she responded.
“Yes.”
“How lucky can one woman get?” he wondered in an awed voice. “First the man with the iron tongue, and now me, bearing tidings of financial woe.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask.” Tina sighed tiredly.
“Have you somehow overlooked the paltry sum of seven thousand dollars still owed on Chuck’s car?” Paul asked brightly.
Tina had. Groaning softly, she rested her head against the cool wall. How could she have forgotten her agreement to pay for Chuck’s import when she’d made the agreement in a last-ditch effort to get her divorce? It had been blatant blackmail on Chuck’s part, of course. But at the time, Tina was so desperate, she was willing to do almost anything.
“Tina?” Though soft, Paul’s voice was sharp with concern.
“I’m here.”
“Look, beautiful, don’t go into a tailspin. I paid it for you. You can pay me back when you get it.” Paul spoke quickly in an obvious bid to relieve the tension he could feel humming through the wires.
“Oh, Paul!” Close to tears, Tina bit her lip. “I... I don’t know what to say.”
“Say good-bye.”
The order came from behind Tina, not through the receiver. And it was decidedly an order, one Dirk fully expected her to obey. Paul had heard the command as well.
“Is that guy for real?” The steel-like quality of Paul’s tone was new and surprising to Tina; Paul never became perturbed. “And is he looking for a rap in the teeth?” he demanded, convincing Tina he did, at times, become perturbed.
“It’s all right, Paul, I—” Tina cried out as the receiver was wrenched from her hand, then slammed onto the hook. “How dare you?” she shouted. “You have no right to inter—
“I’ll tell you how I dare!” Grasping her by the upper arms, Dirk dragged Tina close to him. “I dare, love,” he sneered, “because I hold the purse strings. Remember?”
“Have you ever once let me forget?” Tina sneered back.
“No.” Dirk shook her in an oddly gentle way. “And I’m not about to start now.” Then, quietly, too quietly, “What did Rambeau want?”
“Money, what else?” Tina laughed shrilly, then wished she hadn’t when his hands tightened painfully.
“You pay him?”
; All the fight drained out of Tina, leaving her limp in his grasp, “Of course I pay him. He works for me.”
“That isn’t what I meant,” Dirk said insinuatingly. “And you know it. Do you pay him in the same way you paid your husband, for services rendered?”
“No.” Tina closed her eyes against the sickness welling in her throat. She heard his muttered curse an instant before he gathered her into his arms.
“Tina, don’t. Oh, honey, don’t look that way.” Dirk crooned into her ear as he bent over her. “I’m sorry. Baby, please, stop trembling.” Tina both felt and heard the deep breath he dragged into his lungs. “Why must we always claw at each other?” Lifting his head, he gazed at her tenderly. “We didn’t always blindly strike first and ask questions later. Did we?”
“No.” Tina sniffed. “Not before I grew up.”
Raising his hands, Dirk cradled her face and tilted her head up. “Is that what happened?” Dirk’s smile brought tears to Tina’s eyes. “You grew out of your braids and into your bra.” The spasm that moved over his face spoke of pain. “And shot a hole in my ego by discovering boys your own age.”
Appalled by the very idea that she might have hurt him, no matter how innocently, Tina rushed to explain. “I never meant to hurt you, Dirk. You were always my knight in shining armor.”
“Yeah, but when your father died, I rusted it.”
And there it was, out in the open at last after festering in silence for five long years. As scalding moisture slipped over the edge of her eyelids, Tina closed them and lowered her head.
“Oh, Tina.” Dirk’s groan held the weight of every one of those years. “The worst part is that I can’t make myself feel sorry it happened. I’ve never been touched so deeply as I was that afternoon, or felt so completely satisfied afterward.” His hands less gentle, Dirk lifted her face again. “I wanted you very badly then.” Slowly, irrevocably, he lowered his mouth to hers. “I want you even more now.”
“Dirk, please, no—” The protest was lost inside the moist heat of his mouth, as Tina was lost inside the need that had been a constant companion for five years.
Time, place, self, spun away and drew Tina along in the whirlwind. There was nothing but a void beyond the safe haven of the only arms she ever wanted to surround her. Greedily drinking from his parted lips, Tina surrendered her soul into Dirk’s keeping. She was his now, as she’d ever been his ... whether he knew, or cared, or wanted her or not.
Dirk’s actions made it clear that he definitely wanted her— at least the physical her. Murmuring of a need too long denied, he unfastened the buttons on Tina’s shirt for the second time that day. When the material was at last brushed aside and the front clasp on her bra disengaged, Dirk burned her skin with his passion-fired gaze. Then, with excruciating slowness, he lowered his mouth to her breasts.
Her throat arching as her head fell back, Tina whimpered a sensual “Yes” as she speared her fingers through the silky strands of his hair and drew his lips to one aching nipple.
The raspy grate of Dirk’s tongue on her sensitized skin sent shards of desire into the lower part of Tina’s body. The gentle but urgent draw of his suckling lips wrenched a cry of sheer ecstasy from her throat. The sudden, jarring ring of the phone elicited a groan of protest from both of them.
“If that’s Rambeau again, I will personally travel to New York and strangle him!” Dirk snarled savagely, drawing Tina with him as he stepped to the phone. Before attempting to answer, he breathed in deeply several times.
“Hello?” Even with the calming breaths, his voice betrayed impatience. Clasped to his side, Tina felt the tension seep out of him before he spoke again more evenly. “No, Beth, I’m sorry. I, ah, was occupied.” As Dirk listened to Beth his glance covered Tina’s face, then went caressingly to her still-heaving breasts. “No, of course not. Go, enjoy yourself.” A sensuous smile curved the corner of his lips. “Tina and I will find something to eat.”
When Dirk hung up he allowed his smile to grow enticingly. “Beth is going out to dinner with the girls and she was concerned about us.” His glance danced over Tina’s body, and along her nerves. “We could always devour each other,” he suggested hopefully.
With that outrageous suggestion he was back, the Dirk Tina had adored forever, the Dirk of the laughing eyes and teasing quip. Her sense of humor struck, Tina skipped out of his loose embrace, drawing her shirt closed as she went. Tossing her now wildly disarrayed hair back, she smiled beguilingly.
“I’d rather have lobster.” Tina fluttered her eyelashes exaggeratedly. “And a mound of French fries. And a Greek salad with feta cheese. And hot crusty rolls. And—
“Hey, kid!” Dirk contrived to look stern. “You eat much more than all that and you’ll be sick.”
Tina threw him a prim look. “I was going to say: and a tall glass of gin and tonic—heavy on the tonic.”
Dirk was suddenly serious. “The mood’s gone ... isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Tina smiled tremulously. “The mood—or madness—is gone.” Almost fearfully, she watched to see if the ruthless Dirk would return. Tentatively, she held her hand out to him. “Still friends?” she asked, unaware of her pleading tone.
Taking the two steps necessary to reach her, Dirk curled his fingers around hers. “Yes, love, still friends.” His eyes clear, he stared down at her. “We’re going to have a long talk, if not over dinner, then after it. Our differences have to be resolved, Tina.”
Tina wet her suddenly parched lips, tingling all over when his gaze avidly watched the tip of her tongue. “I”—she cleared her throat—”I know. But let’s not think about it now.” Sliding her hand from under his, she took off at a run. “I’ll bet I can be showered and dressed before you,” she challenged in the same impudent manner she had as a girl.
“You’re on.” Dirk accepted, close at her heels. “Name the stakes.”
Tina hesitated at her bedroom door. “The loser buys dinner?”
“Done.” Dirk was disappearing into his room as he spoke.
Surprisingly, Tina won the bet, if only by some thirty seconds. Dirk was still grumbling about the possibility of her having cheated by not showering as they left the house.
“Do I look like the type of woman who would splash on half a bottle of perfume and call myself bathed?” Tina laughed, walking to the side of the car.
“No,” Dirk admitted sourly. “But how the hell did you get ready so fast? If I remember correctly—and I do—it always took you forever to get ready for anything.” A grin denied his earlier sourness. “Even to go to the beach, where you knew you would immediately become messy with suntan oil and sand.”
“Owning and running a business keeps me clicking along,” Tina admitted seriously. “I have my grooming time almost down to a science. Now it’s habit. It never takes me very long to get my act together, regardless of where I’m going or who I’m going there with.”
Dirk’s appreciative gaze roamed slowly from her shining hair to the three-inch heels on her Italian sling-back pumps. “And you get your act together very well,” he murmured, smiling at the flush of pink that tinged her cheeks. “I like the dress.” Dirk indicated the soft rose-tinted wool sheath that caressed her body, his smile growing in time with the color highlighting her skin. “Will you be warm enough with that?” Lifting his hand, he tested the material of the cashmere jacket Tina had thrown around her shoulders.
“Yes.” Possibly too warm, Tina added silently, breath quickening from the heat suffusing her body. Deciding two could play at this game, she examined his attire, fighting to hold an air of detachment.
Her examination only increased the flow of heat coursing through her veins. In truth, Dirk always looked good to her. Dressed to go out, he looked magnificent. His newly shampooed hair gleamed with burnished-gold streaks; his freshly shaven cheeks displayed the sheen of a year-round suntan. His pristine white shirt contrasted beautifully with the Harris tweed jacket that enhanced the breadth of his shoulders; the diagonall
y striped tie expertly knotted at his collar added a dash of color and panache. Even the wide-wale chocolate-brown corduroys that encased his long, muscular legs were an enticement... to what, Tina shakily refused to acknowledge, but her detachment slipped alarmingly. Swallowing in an effort to moisten her suddenly dry throat, she moved jerkily toward the car.
“Okay,” Dirk drawled with amusement. “How would you rate me? On a scale of one to ten?”
Fifty-two. Tina could not deny the smile that curved her lips at the number that sprang to her mind. She had no way of knowing her smile hinted at her thoughts.
“That good, huh?” Opening the car door, Dirk leaned over quickly and brushed his lips over her cheek. “For that unspoken compliment, I’ll happily pay for dinner.” His eyes sparkling with laughter, he boldly assessed her exposed thighs as Tina slid onto the car seat. “And for that glimpse of the cradle of heaven,” he whispered, “I’ll even dance with you after we’ve eaten.”
The car door closed with a solid thunk, effectively covering the gasp that escaped Tina’s parted lips. The cradle of heaven? Tina smoothed the skirt of her dress down over her thighs with nervous fingers. The cradle of heaven. Was that what Dirk had found with her? A heaven of physical completion? The thought was both upsetting and exciting.
Tina’s pulse hammered erratically. Was she supposed to respond to that blatantly sexual overture? A delicious tension holding her still, she slanted a guarded glance at Dirk as he slid behind the wheel.
The look Dirk returned was loaded, as was his observation. “There’s no need for you to look so uneasy, love. You know I’m a smooth ... ah ... gentle dancer.”
Tina stopped breathing altogether at his thinly veiled innuendo. Liquid fire suddenly racing out of control through her veins set a spark to her imagination and memory. For one brief, glorious instant she could actually feel the ecstasy she’d experienced while “dancing” with him on that long ago afternoon.
“You’ve always loved me.”
Snapped into the present by Dirk’s softly voiced but adamant statement, Tina stared at him out of anguished eyes.
